When the Sun Goes Down

I ran my hands down my arms swiftly, trying to keep the cool breeze from forming more goosebumps on my skin. I quietly crawled onto my knees at the edge of the cliff, where the sound of the rushing river met my ears. I could see the thin water fall on the other side, but it never did put a smile on my face. Mama's burial had finished nearly an hour ago. I hadn't left her grave until a few moments ago. I was granted the lonliness I wanted as I spoke to her one last time.

I wasn't necesarrily angry with Noah or the twins'. They were simply doing what had to be done. They had scrounged up enough courage to rid of Romeo, but I couldn't do so with Mama. I wiped at my swollen eyes and sniffled slightly. I sat back on my knees and watched the water run through the crevice of the valley. It wasn't a very large drop, but it would do damage if you had wanted to fall off of it. I swallowed hard and shook my head from the thoughts.

If I wanted a painless, momentless death, I would simply shove the barrel of my gun into my mouth. I could already taste the metallic flavor. I brushed a hand down my face and sighed quietly. The sound of pattering foot steps caught my ears, but I never turned around to see who it was. The dirt beside me shifted slightly as Murphy sat down. He stayed silent for a few minutes and looked out at the river and water fall. It would be beautiful if I could sit here with Mama.

Murphy turned his gaze on me and frowned slightly. His eyes were slightly red from the burial, but they began to go back to normal. The boys' don't cry much, even at the death of their own best friend. During the moment they shed tears like a new born, but once things calm down, they do as well. Murphy cleared his throat before whispering, "I hope yer not thinkin' what I think ya are."

I scoffed slightly and shook my head. The cowardly thoughts had gone through my mind a few times, but I never had the balls to do such a thing. If anything I would allow one of the infected to feast on my flesh. It would be painful, but all I had to do was shove a bullet into his brain afterward. It would be like getting a cold; with the exception of death in the end. I turned toward Murphy and without emotion, spat, "Who would care, right?"

Murphy's facial features dropped at my sudden comment. My comment held no emotion or sense of sanity. His shoulders fell as he choked out, "Wh - what?"

"Who would care?"It came out so quickly, I thought he hadn't heard it.

"Don't say a thing like that, Adrienne."He mumbled quietly."That's crazy talk. Abby. Look at Abby. Yer like a mother to her now, Adrienne. Ya've taken such care of her fer so long. Why would ya think no one would care? Ya've become close with the group. Ya've got Da, Connor, me."

I flicked my gaze up in his direction and felt my shoulders slump slightly. Murphy was right; if I had wasted my life away, Abby would have no mother figure to turn to. Murphy just didn't know that I didn't have the courage to do such a cowardly action. I swallowed hard and nodded my head. I was at a loss for words. I thought I had run out of tears, but I managed to choke out a quiet sob. Murphy pulled me into his chest, where I once again lost all sense of emotion.

I cried into his chest and felt his hand rub against my back softly. I whimpered and clutched onto his t - shirt as I cried out the rest of my tears. I felt his body shiver and shake slightly, which forced me to look up. His eyes had welled up with tears and he cried quietly as well. He brushed my hair back with his rough fingers and sniffled slightly. I shook my head as I let it drop back into his chest. Quietly, I whispered, "I'm sorry, Murphy. I don't mean to sound so selfish."

"S'alright, Adrienne. Yer upset is all."He tried to keep his voice steady as he comforted me.

I tangled my fingers into his t - shirt before slowly wrapping my arms around his chest. His warm touch kept the cool breeze from forcing me into a shiver. He pulled me closer into his body so we were nearly hip to hip. He continued to brush back my hair and coo me sweetly. It got to the point that I had grown exhausted. So tired from the crying and fighting throughout the day. I looked up at Murphy and in a hushed whisper, breathed, "Thankyou, Murphy."

"Any time."He offered me a comforting smile as I rested my head on his shoulder.

My eyes were growing heavy, but I was too comfortable to move. I reached to Murphy's free hand and laced my fingers with his own. We had all gone through so much, but in the end, we always found that remaining human emotions and comforted eachother. I squeezed his hand tightly before letting a yawn slip passed my lips. Murphy chuckled lightly before squeezing me closer to his chest.

"Ya cold, Adrienne?"He whispered softly.

I shifted onto my rear end and brought my knees up to my chest. I shook my head, hoping Murphy wouldn't move to fetch me a jacket. He shifted only slightly, but not enough to break my comfortable position. I leaned into his chest and felt him wrap his arms tighter around my small frame. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. I was happy to know someone was here for me, regardless of how nasty I were to become. I heard quiet foot steps and a light chuckle.

"She sleepin', Murph?"It was Connor.

"Almost."I whispered.

"Here, Adrienne. I brought ya me coat."Connor snaked the pea coat around my shoulders as I nestled back into Murphy's chest.

"Thank you, Connor."Connor knelt forward and pressed a gentle kiss to the top of my head.

"I'm sorry, Adrienne."His whispers went unnoticed as he walked away from both Murphy and I.

I took in a deep breath and within a short few moments after Connor had left, fell asleep against Murphy's rising chest.