In The Clouds
1/1
Brendon wasn’t scared when the doctors told him he was dying, he was relieved. He had known he was dying for months; it was a relief to hear those words coming from a mouth other than his own.
He had been taught since he was a young boy that when he died, he would find refuge in God and be comforted. He wasn’t frightened of the healing hands and the clouds.
What he was frightened of, was Ryan. He had learned to live on his own, how to move on after Ryan had died twenty years ago and he was scared that he wouldn’t know what to say or to do when they finally met again. Sure, Brendon had thought about and rehearsed what he would say, but as he drifted off the death, everything he had come up with simply seemed wrong, unfitting.
The clouds looked just the way Brendon had always imagined them and birds flew up from below his feet, delivering messages to the souls all around him. They all smiled as he passed them, waving as though they had been expecting him. He didn’t recognize any of the faces that he passed until he spotted the ones he was not yet ready to see.
Ryan stood, with his hands clasped behind his back and a grin adorning his lips. He started towards Brendon and as he got closer, he outstretched his arms for Brendon to fall into.
Brendon fit against his body just the way he had when they had been together. He burrowed his face deep into Ryan’s chest. He smelt just the way he had when he was alive; when they were alive.
“Hey,” Ryan whispered into his hair. “Remember me?”
A whimper escaped Brendon’s lips before he had even felt it. “You broke my heart.”
His voice broke and cracked and he could no longer stifle the cries that wracked his body. It seemed wrong to be crying in the clouds. Ryan tried to soothe him, wrapping his arms around Brendon, hugging him as tightly as he could. He felt tears begin to form in his eyes. He had waited nineteen years, eight months and twenty-seven days to do this.
“We’re okay now, baby.” His voice broke also. Imperfection seemed to be a quality of heaven. “You’re okay…”
“You left me—you just left me…”
“I know,” Ryan cooed. He felt Brendon ball his shirt in his fists and burrow deeper into his shirt.
Soon, these tears would be gone. Soon, the birds would show them how to smile again and they could live by the sea, like they had always wanted.
He had been taught since he was a young boy that when he died, he would find refuge in God and be comforted. He wasn’t frightened of the healing hands and the clouds.
What he was frightened of, was Ryan. He had learned to live on his own, how to move on after Ryan had died twenty years ago and he was scared that he wouldn’t know what to say or to do when they finally met again. Sure, Brendon had thought about and rehearsed what he would say, but as he drifted off the death, everything he had come up with simply seemed wrong, unfitting.
The clouds looked just the way Brendon had always imagined them and birds flew up from below his feet, delivering messages to the souls all around him. They all smiled as he passed them, waving as though they had been expecting him. He didn’t recognize any of the faces that he passed until he spotted the ones he was not yet ready to see.
Ryan stood, with his hands clasped behind his back and a grin adorning his lips. He started towards Brendon and as he got closer, he outstretched his arms for Brendon to fall into.
Brendon fit against his body just the way he had when they had been together. He burrowed his face deep into Ryan’s chest. He smelt just the way he had when he was alive; when they were alive.
“Hey,” Ryan whispered into his hair. “Remember me?”
A whimper escaped Brendon’s lips before he had even felt it. “You broke my heart.”
His voice broke and cracked and he could no longer stifle the cries that wracked his body. It seemed wrong to be crying in the clouds. Ryan tried to soothe him, wrapping his arms around Brendon, hugging him as tightly as he could. He felt tears begin to form in his eyes. He had waited nineteen years, eight months and twenty-seven days to do this.
“We’re okay now, baby.” His voice broke also. Imperfection seemed to be a quality of heaven. “You’re okay…”
“You left me—you just left me…”
“I know,” Ryan cooed. He felt Brendon ball his shirt in his fists and burrow deeper into his shirt.
Soon, these tears would be gone. Soon, the birds would show them how to smile again and they could live by the sea, like they had always wanted.