Free Falling

The next day, I was doing better. Travis was the one that kept me from falling apart though. He never left me alone, and he kept my mind off everything. That was until Beau called me again.

"How you doing, Dylan?" he asked slowly.

"Better."

"Good," he said. Silence filled the conversation; it was almost unbearable. "So the funerals are this Friday."

"Is Peyton and Reese going to come?" Peyton and Reese are our old siblings who never got along very well with our parents; so they haven't been involved with family stuff much anymore.

"Yeah, I think they're coming, along with John and their kids," he explained.

"Okay," I mumbled. "I guess I'll see you then."

"Bye," Beau said quietly. I felt Travis sit next to me and put his arm around me.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asked.

"I...I think I'll....Travis can you come with me?" I said fighting back the tears. "I don't think I can do it by myself."

"I'll be there for you, Dylan," he said soothing me.

***

Today was the day of the funerals. Travis and I had flown in that morning from Maryland. Trav had kept me pretty calm on the flight. Not to mention, I fell asleep on Travis' shoulder so it went a lot faster than it should have.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" he asked for the hundredth time as we made our way through the cemetery.

"Yeah, I'll make it."

Everybody was standing around two coffins. Beau, Peyton, and Reese were standing together while everyone gave them their condolences. Beau saw me and waved me over. I gave them each a hug. A few more people came along and told us they were sorry for our loss. Trav came over to stand next to me when the ceremony started. When the pastor started talking about how great my parents were, Travis put his arm around me.

"Would any of the Johnson kids like to say anything?" the pastor asked breaking me from my thoughts. Beau and Peyton just stood there; so I took a deep breath and went up to the front.

"Um, hi," I said trying to come up with something to say. "I'm Dylan Johnson. Linda and Mark are...were my parents. I'm the youngest. Mom and Dad were amazing. They realized our dreams. They could've just told us no, that it was too dangerous or unrealistic, but they believed in us. Us kids were their lives. Taking us to races, practices, games, music lessons; their lives were centered around ours."

"I am so thankful that they raised us the way they did. Everything would be so different if it wasn't for them. They impacted so many lives. They will truly be missed by many." I slowly went back to Travis as people clapped. I didn't understand why they were clapping.

A few other people said some things, nothing too exciting for me to remember. Then they started lowering them into the ground. All of a sudden, it felt so real. As if he knew, Travis grabbed my hand. He gave me an encouraging smile and squeezed my hand.

It soon ended, and after many "I'm sorry for you loss", everybody went their own ways. Somehow Travis had convinced me to go back to my parents' house. He said it was something about closure.

We pulled into the driveway, and everything looked the same from when I was here last. The driveway still had skid marks on it from when I was a teenager and was doing stupid things. The dent on the side of the garage from when Beau rode my bike for the first time. We went into the house. The memories were everywhere I looked. The couch where Dad caught me making me out with my first boyfriend. I laughed as I remember Dad throwing him out of the house.

"What are you thinking about?" Travis asked.

"That couch," I said smiling a little. "I had some interesting times on that."

"You are so strange," he said shaking his head.

"I'm going to go upstairs for a while so I guess just make yourself at home." Travis nodded and then I went upstairs to my room. It was pretty much the same from when I was still living there.

I sat down on the bed and started crying. I didn't know what to do. I would never get to talk to them again, and they will never come and watch me race again.

"Why did you take them?" I asked to no one in particular. I picked up the nearest object and threw it. I was so angry. I just started throwing and hitting everything I could get my hands on.

"Whoa, what's going on?" Travis said grabbing me.

"Why the hell did they have to die?" I yelled. "What did they ever do to deserve it?"

"Hey, shh," he said pulling me closer to him. "Everything happens for a reason. We know the risks that come along with our jobs, but we often forget the risks of living day to day life. It was their time, Dylan; and they wouldn't be gone if whoever the higher power is didn't think you can handle it."

"I didn't think I took them for granted, but now that I look back, I did."

"They knew you loved them, Dylan," he said looking down at me. "So don't you regret anything. How do you think they would want you to act now?"

"You don't get it, Travis! You've never lost somebody close to you," I said pushing him away from me.

"Bullshit! I've lost friends, Dylan. I've also paralyzed somebody, and I have to live with that guilt for the rest of my life. Every morning I wake up and wonder why it wasn't me. I would do anything to take it back," he said raising his voice. He looked like he was on the verge of crying.

"I'm so sorry, Travis," I said running into his arms. I'm not sure what was happening, but Travis and I were leaning closer to each other. And then our lips connected. It was amazing, but as soon as it started, it was ending.