Status: Completed.
The Sun Also Sets
kill me
Hayden opened the door to the apartment. She hadn’t seen it completely furnished yet, but she had helped Eric move his things in a couple of weeks ago. Her eyes quickly scanned the crowd and she saw a few people she knew. None of them seemed to notice her.
Breathe, she told herself. No one is judging you.
She knew she must have looked like a wreck. But was anyone even watching? Did anyone care? She couldn’t figure out why she came. There was no good that would come out of this. Her stomach was turning in knots and every time someone brushed her arm as they walked past she expected it to be him.
She didn’t feel strong, she never felt strong anymore. Sometimes she felt guilty every time she refused Eric’s offers to go out or ignored calls. But he never stopped. He was keeping her alive.
Hayden took a few more tentative steps towards the living area, her eyes fixated on her shoes. It’s like she could feel his emerald eyes burning a hole into her. She looked up slowly and met them, not trying to hide the fear in them.
He honestly scared her. He was capable of so much emotional damage.
It must have been an hour, or at least it seemed that way. In reality it was only seconds—less than a minute that they stayed staring at each other. He didn’t look surprised.
He made an advance first, taking the steps towards her. Her body wracked with nerves and she wanted to run away.
Once they stood toe to toe is when she saw how unintimidating he really was. She could tell just by his eyes that he wasn’t the same. He looked older and so much more tamed. His style had changed, his hair had changed, and his heart had changed.
She didn’t know him anymore.
He took a sip of his drink and gave her a familiar look before he brushed past her. She turned on the heel of her foot and followed to where she thought he had gone. Sure enough she found herself in his room.
Some of the old posters he had had when they were kids were on the walls, but it was mostly empty. He used to have pictures she had drawn and painted in his bedroom, he used to have pictures of her.
She had been wiped clean from everything.
He had his back to her, his hands in his jean pockets. He was staring at the blank white wall and Hayden felt awkward. She had her arms wrapped around herself and felt like she would throw up.
“It’s been pretty cold out lately.”
She gave him an unbelieving look that he didn’t see. He finally turned around and wasn’t fazed by her expression. He continued, “That must be why you have goose bumps, right?”
“Shut up,” she rolled her eyes, nonchalantly rubbing her arms to rid them of the small bumps.
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said.
“You used to tell me it wasn’t a party without me,” she said, unsure how her shaking voice was able to sound so confident.
“That was four years ago,” he said, “A lot has changed.”
“Oh yeah, I wasn’t aware,” she said sarcastically, sitting on his bed.
He shut the door and she instantly got more nervous. He leaned against the wall a few feet from the bed and she felt intimidated by this boy that should be her equal.
“You look horrible.”
“You don’t look so bad yourself,” she replied.
“No, really. I mean have you looked in a mirror? When was the last time you slept?” he asked, not that he was genuinely concerned.
She stood, “Well it’s been really great catching up but I’m going to go.”
He grabbed her wrist but let go once he had gotten her attention, “Seriously, when was the last time you slept?”
She moved away from him and shrugged, sitting back on the bed, “Probably the last time you went a whole day without drinking.”
“Looks like we’re both a mess,” he said.
“I wonder why,” she said quietly.
“It’s tomorrow, you know.”
“And you’re not even drunk yet,” she mumbled.
“And you haven’t run out bawling your eyes out…yet,” he smirked.
She looked up at him, shaking her head, “You’re such an ass.”
“Why don’t you just leave then?”
“Because I’m trying to move on with my life, John. I’m trying and you’re making it impossible. This isn’t just about you, Eric invited me and he’s my best friend,” Hayden said.
“No,” he said angrily, “He is my best friend. He only feels sorry for you.”
Her worst fears were coming right out of John’s mouth, but she tried to dismiss it, “What happened to never talking to me? Can’t you just shut me out like you promised?”
He finished off whatever was in his cup and she sighed. Eric had told her that he was becoming intolerable, but when he was drunk it was better. But she knew him, and around her the liquor would only make him worse.
He joined her on the bed and they both laid back and stared up at the blank ceiling. They were silent for a long time and Hayden’s whole body felt heavy. She just wanted to crawl up in his comforter and sleep. Maybe she would dream of days when things were better, that seemed to be all she dreamed about.
She used to have nightmares of the night Grace died. But once that pain became her reality, her unconscious began to yearn for the better days. At first it gave her hope for the future, but then it just made her feel like her dreams were taunting her. But she would still rather dream of a life she didn’t have then live the one she did.
Hayden felt John’s fingertips brush softly along her hand as if he was asking permission. She didn’t even grant it before he engulfed her hand completely. She turned her head that was still resting on his pillow.
After all these years, he still took her breath away.
John looked at her pale blue eyes that looked so empty. Didn’t they used to be bright? How long had she been like this? His eyes moved down to their intertwined hands and he felt his guard coming down.
His past was coming back to haunt him, but God, did he miss her.
He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it softly and her eyes welled with tears. He wondered how he looked to her. She was like an open book, but was he the same way?
Now he still held her hand and it rested on his chest. She turned over onto her stomach and propped herself up on her elbows. The bottom of her dress was riding up and he could see the cleavage the dress provided. But it didn’t even matter to him; it didn’t make him want her more.
He already wanted her enough.
“John…” she breathed.
“Please… just one night,” he said, gripping her hand tighter.
“I’m not going to have a one night stand with you,” she said, disgusted.
He sat up and moved the hair out of her face, “You know it’s so much more than that.”
Hayden got shivers up her spine and had to let out a shaky breath, “Not until you tell me things will be different.”
“Hayden, my life has been a wreck for four years and it’s because you haven’t been it. I know that I need you,” he said.
“Don’t break my heart again,” she said, a tear falling down her cheek.
He put his hand on the side of her face and used his thumb to tenderly wipe that tear away. He felt a matching tear fall down his own cheek as he placed his forehead against hers, “Never.”
He kissed her softly and it had never meant so much. He really had missed her, and being close to her again made him feel complete. He hadn’t ever thought of what he had said about his life being so bad without her, but now he realized how true it was.
Right now he forgot about all of that anger in his heart. Was he taking advantage of her vulnerability? No, because he was just as exposed. Of course he still loved her, of course he couldn’t go a lifetime without talking to her.
Before either of them could process it was happening their clothes were being discarded. But they took it slow. As if they both knew they had to savor it, because it was too good to be true.
He kissed her everywhere and every times his lips lifted from her skin she felt like the spot was on fire. Everything felt surreal, but she was letting it go, letting everything go. Hayden could almost predict what would happen next.
When there was no garment separating them they both gave one last look into each other’s eyes before they decided the past could never stay as the past.
Once they were done, John held her tight in his arms. But they didn’t sleep, they didn’t speak. They relished in the moment that would end soon.
Finally, Hayden turned to face him, letting his arms reform around her bare torso, “What now?”
“I don’t know,” he kissed her temple.
“Tell me you love me,” she whispered as she drew circles on his bare chest, not meeting his eyes.
His heartbeat quickened and he realized what he had to do. If he told her he loved her it would mean he forgave her, and he didn’t.
She took note of his silence and fearfully met his eyes. He slowly moved away from her and stood, slipping on his boxers, before his pants, and finally his shirt.
Hayden tried to swallow the hurt and keep it from rising to her face but it was worthless. She couldn’t even move.
“Get dressed,” he said softly.
“John,” she said, almost pleading.
He threw her dress on the bed, “Hayden, get dressed.”
She slipped on her panties and the dress and combed through her hair with her fingertips. She stood up and made the bed.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m erasing any sign of us. That’s what you want, right, John?” she asked.
“This was a mistake,” he said.
“And you knew that from the beginning, didn’t you?”
He looked into her eyes that were filled to the brim with desperation and he tried so hard not to reach for her, “I can’t be with you.”
“Why not?” she questioned.
“Because Grace is dead!” he said.
“I need you, John! You know I didn’t try to kill her.”
“Do I know that? I’m not sure of anything, Hayden! All I know is that my little sister is dead and you’re not and I wish it was the other way around!”
“Don’t… please, don’t say that,” she said, tears falling.
“No tears, you selfish bitch,” he said. Once he said it he knew he had gone too far. It was all an act and he was overcompensating. But the anger wasn’t fake, it was all there. It had temporarily disappeared but he still felt it.
She grabbed his hand, making her look at him, “You promised you wouldn’t break my heart.”
He turned the palm of her hand up and looked at the ink on her wrist, “And you promised me forever.”
“I never broke that promise!” she cried.
“Fine!” he yelled back, “Then I’m breaking it! You’re worthless, Hayden.”
“That’s not what you thought five minutes ago,” she said.
“I’m a guy, Hayden, and you’re there,” he started.
“Shut up, John…” she warned, knowing he didn’t mean that.
He continued, “Nobody cares, Hayden. Stop crying because you only look stupid.”
“You don’t mean this!” she pleaded.
“Yes, I do. And me, along with everyone else, wouldn’t care if you vanished,” he said emphasizing the last word and now speaking slower, “Completely disappeared.”
Tears fell down her face and she moved past him and towards the door so fast he didn’t even realize it until she slammed it shut behind her.
John wondered if he should run after her and apologize. But it wouldn’t matter. He was leaving again for another month and he didn’t have to worry about seeing her. It was enough time to cool off, and maybe he wouldn’t have to see her again anyways. Maybe she finally got the point that they couldn’t coexist peacefully anymore.
It was too hard for him.
Hayden walked through the crowd and her blurry eyes found the door. Once she got outside she felt arms wrap around her and she collapsed into them.
“H-Hayden? What’s wrong?”
She looked at Justin Richards, one of Halvo’s band mates. They were friends, but he looked terrified at the crying girl. “I’ll go get Eric.”
Hayden tried to protest but he was already gone. She got to her feet carefully and tried to stop crying. She took deep breaths in and out and by the time Eric reached her she had wiped most of the makeup off her cheeks.
“What happened?”
“N-nothing,” she said, “This was just a lot harder than I thought.”
“Did you talk to John?”
“A bit,” she lied, “I’m just going to go home though.”
“We barely got to talk though,” he frowned.
She faked a small smile and squeezed his hand before she kissed his cheek, “Bye, Eric.”
He looked at her strangely and kept a hold on her hand as she tried to walk away, “Lunch tomorrow?”
Hayden gave him a sad smile that she knew he wouldn’t understand until tomorrow, “I love you.”
“You too, sweets. Call me when you get home,” he gave her another kiss on her cheek, “I’m serious, Hayden.”
“Yeah,” she mumbled, “Me too. You’re a really good friend, Halvo.”
He winked at her, “You know I love when you call me that.”
She laughed softly, “Bye.”
Hayden drove to her house and changed into a sweatshirt and shorts. Tears had finally stopped falling but now she was just numb. She had been thinking about doing what she was planning now for a while. It was just too much. She honestly believed everyone would be better off.
She wrote the note to Eric. He would know that it was for him, who else would she write it to?
She thought of her brother. They hadn’t spoken in so long, maybe it would lessen the blow. Her parents would be relieved, of course, that this burden had been lifted. The O’Callaghans would feel guilty, but they knew how to mourn.
Someone would have to help Eric. All she wished was for him to understand, but that was just wishful thinking. He would curse her, scream into the heavens, or hell, that she was an idiot.
And John, well he would get his wish.
She spent a lot of time in the dark of her house, and when the sun began to rise she made her way to the door.
The weather was dark and gloomy and she thought of it as a sign. She parked her car at the bottom of the cliff and took the trail up to the top. She stood over the edge for what seemed like forever.
She stood at the top of the cliff, waiting for the wave in the distance to break. Wave after wave came and she could not do it. The wind was cold, so much colder than it should have been. The sky was dark and gloomy, lightening striking far away and thunder rolling closer.
Was it so much to ask for a little courage?
God had done all these things to her in the last four years it seemed only fair that he would give her a way out. It was a far jump. Not one that the teenagers did every weekend when they went cliff diving. No, this was serious.
This was the place where you went to die; there was even a name for it around town. It was so close to the heavens people swore they could hear God crying out for them. But she didn’t hear or feel anything. She was numb. She kicked a rock off the edge, watching it take the long fall to the water beneath.
She thought of how sore she felt and it angered her. Everything he said to her only a few hours ago was true, but she still wondered when she became this person. There was no one she even had to leave behind.
But as she fiddled with her fingers nervously she remembered the one person who might miss her. He deserved one thing, he deserved something. She reached in her back pocket and carefully unfolded the piece of paper.
She placed it on the ground next to her feet, placing a pebble atop it so it wouldn’t blow away.
Then, with one last breath she stepped to the edge. It was one foot first, then the other. Before she could even say a prayer for the one boy she would leave behind she was tumbling through the air.
It was like slow motion at first, and she thanked God that her shell of a life didn’t flash before her eyes that were drying out as she stared at the water coming closer and closer.
Finally, she closed her eyes, ready for it to be over, and silently repeating the words she had left in the note above her.
She should have known it wouldn’t be over. Nothing was ever easy, and apparently God wouldn’t let her break her promise of forever quite so soon.
Breathe, she told herself. No one is judging you.
She knew she must have looked like a wreck. But was anyone even watching? Did anyone care? She couldn’t figure out why she came. There was no good that would come out of this. Her stomach was turning in knots and every time someone brushed her arm as they walked past she expected it to be him.
She didn’t feel strong, she never felt strong anymore. Sometimes she felt guilty every time she refused Eric’s offers to go out or ignored calls. But he never stopped. He was keeping her alive.
Hayden took a few more tentative steps towards the living area, her eyes fixated on her shoes. It’s like she could feel his emerald eyes burning a hole into her. She looked up slowly and met them, not trying to hide the fear in them.
He honestly scared her. He was capable of so much emotional damage.
It must have been an hour, or at least it seemed that way. In reality it was only seconds—less than a minute that they stayed staring at each other. He didn’t look surprised.
He made an advance first, taking the steps towards her. Her body wracked with nerves and she wanted to run away.
Once they stood toe to toe is when she saw how unintimidating he really was. She could tell just by his eyes that he wasn’t the same. He looked older and so much more tamed. His style had changed, his hair had changed, and his heart had changed.
She didn’t know him anymore.
He took a sip of his drink and gave her a familiar look before he brushed past her. She turned on the heel of her foot and followed to where she thought he had gone. Sure enough she found herself in his room.
Some of the old posters he had had when they were kids were on the walls, but it was mostly empty. He used to have pictures she had drawn and painted in his bedroom, he used to have pictures of her.
She had been wiped clean from everything.
He had his back to her, his hands in his jean pockets. He was staring at the blank white wall and Hayden felt awkward. She had her arms wrapped around herself and felt like she would throw up.
“It’s been pretty cold out lately.”
She gave him an unbelieving look that he didn’t see. He finally turned around and wasn’t fazed by her expression. He continued, “That must be why you have goose bumps, right?”
“Shut up,” she rolled her eyes, nonchalantly rubbing her arms to rid them of the small bumps.
“I didn’t expect to see you here,” he said.
“You used to tell me it wasn’t a party without me,” she said, unsure how her shaking voice was able to sound so confident.
“That was four years ago,” he said, “A lot has changed.”
“Oh yeah, I wasn’t aware,” she said sarcastically, sitting on his bed.
He shut the door and she instantly got more nervous. He leaned against the wall a few feet from the bed and she felt intimidated by this boy that should be her equal.
“You look horrible.”
“You don’t look so bad yourself,” she replied.
“No, really. I mean have you looked in a mirror? When was the last time you slept?” he asked, not that he was genuinely concerned.
She stood, “Well it’s been really great catching up but I’m going to go.”
He grabbed her wrist but let go once he had gotten her attention, “Seriously, when was the last time you slept?”
She moved away from him and shrugged, sitting back on the bed, “Probably the last time you went a whole day without drinking.”
“Looks like we’re both a mess,” he said.
“I wonder why,” she said quietly.
“It’s tomorrow, you know.”
“And you’re not even drunk yet,” she mumbled.
“And you haven’t run out bawling your eyes out…yet,” he smirked.
She looked up at him, shaking her head, “You’re such an ass.”
“Why don’t you just leave then?”
“Because I’m trying to move on with my life, John. I’m trying and you’re making it impossible. This isn’t just about you, Eric invited me and he’s my best friend,” Hayden said.
“No,” he said angrily, “He is my best friend. He only feels sorry for you.”
Her worst fears were coming right out of John’s mouth, but she tried to dismiss it, “What happened to never talking to me? Can’t you just shut me out like you promised?”
He finished off whatever was in his cup and she sighed. Eric had told her that he was becoming intolerable, but when he was drunk it was better. But she knew him, and around her the liquor would only make him worse.
He joined her on the bed and they both laid back and stared up at the blank ceiling. They were silent for a long time and Hayden’s whole body felt heavy. She just wanted to crawl up in his comforter and sleep. Maybe she would dream of days when things were better, that seemed to be all she dreamed about.
She used to have nightmares of the night Grace died. But once that pain became her reality, her unconscious began to yearn for the better days. At first it gave her hope for the future, but then it just made her feel like her dreams were taunting her. But she would still rather dream of a life she didn’t have then live the one she did.
Hayden felt John’s fingertips brush softly along her hand as if he was asking permission. She didn’t even grant it before he engulfed her hand completely. She turned her head that was still resting on his pillow.
After all these years, he still took her breath away.
John looked at her pale blue eyes that looked so empty. Didn’t they used to be bright? How long had she been like this? His eyes moved down to their intertwined hands and he felt his guard coming down.
His past was coming back to haunt him, but God, did he miss her.
He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it softly and her eyes welled with tears. He wondered how he looked to her. She was like an open book, but was he the same way?
Now he still held her hand and it rested on his chest. She turned over onto her stomach and propped herself up on her elbows. The bottom of her dress was riding up and he could see the cleavage the dress provided. But it didn’t even matter to him; it didn’t make him want her more.
He already wanted her enough.
“John…” she breathed.
“Please… just one night,” he said, gripping her hand tighter.
“I’m not going to have a one night stand with you,” she said, disgusted.
He sat up and moved the hair out of her face, “You know it’s so much more than that.”
Hayden got shivers up her spine and had to let out a shaky breath, “Not until you tell me things will be different.”
“Hayden, my life has been a wreck for four years and it’s because you haven’t been it. I know that I need you,” he said.
“Don’t break my heart again,” she said, a tear falling down her cheek.
He put his hand on the side of her face and used his thumb to tenderly wipe that tear away. He felt a matching tear fall down his own cheek as he placed his forehead against hers, “Never.”
He kissed her softly and it had never meant so much. He really had missed her, and being close to her again made him feel complete. He hadn’t ever thought of what he had said about his life being so bad without her, but now he realized how true it was.
Right now he forgot about all of that anger in his heart. Was he taking advantage of her vulnerability? No, because he was just as exposed. Of course he still loved her, of course he couldn’t go a lifetime without talking to her.
Before either of them could process it was happening their clothes were being discarded. But they took it slow. As if they both knew they had to savor it, because it was too good to be true.
He kissed her everywhere and every times his lips lifted from her skin she felt like the spot was on fire. Everything felt surreal, but she was letting it go, letting everything go. Hayden could almost predict what would happen next.
When there was no garment separating them they both gave one last look into each other’s eyes before they decided the past could never stay as the past.
Once they were done, John held her tight in his arms. But they didn’t sleep, they didn’t speak. They relished in the moment that would end soon.
Finally, Hayden turned to face him, letting his arms reform around her bare torso, “What now?”
“I don’t know,” he kissed her temple.
“Tell me you love me,” she whispered as she drew circles on his bare chest, not meeting his eyes.
His heartbeat quickened and he realized what he had to do. If he told her he loved her it would mean he forgave her, and he didn’t.
She took note of his silence and fearfully met his eyes. He slowly moved away from her and stood, slipping on his boxers, before his pants, and finally his shirt.
Hayden tried to swallow the hurt and keep it from rising to her face but it was worthless. She couldn’t even move.
“Get dressed,” he said softly.
“John,” she said, almost pleading.
He threw her dress on the bed, “Hayden, get dressed.”
She slipped on her panties and the dress and combed through her hair with her fingertips. She stood up and made the bed.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m erasing any sign of us. That’s what you want, right, John?” she asked.
“This was a mistake,” he said.
“And you knew that from the beginning, didn’t you?”
He looked into her eyes that were filled to the brim with desperation and he tried so hard not to reach for her, “I can’t be with you.”
“Why not?” she questioned.
“Because Grace is dead!” he said.
“I need you, John! You know I didn’t try to kill her.”
“Do I know that? I’m not sure of anything, Hayden! All I know is that my little sister is dead and you’re not and I wish it was the other way around!”
“Don’t… please, don’t say that,” she said, tears falling.
“No tears, you selfish bitch,” he said. Once he said it he knew he had gone too far. It was all an act and he was overcompensating. But the anger wasn’t fake, it was all there. It had temporarily disappeared but he still felt it.
She grabbed his hand, making her look at him, “You promised you wouldn’t break my heart.”
He turned the palm of her hand up and looked at the ink on her wrist, “And you promised me forever.”
“I never broke that promise!” she cried.
“Fine!” he yelled back, “Then I’m breaking it! You’re worthless, Hayden.”
“That’s not what you thought five minutes ago,” she said.
“I’m a guy, Hayden, and you’re there,” he started.
“Shut up, John…” she warned, knowing he didn’t mean that.
He continued, “Nobody cares, Hayden. Stop crying because you only look stupid.”
“You don’t mean this!” she pleaded.
“Yes, I do. And me, along with everyone else, wouldn’t care if you vanished,” he said emphasizing the last word and now speaking slower, “Completely disappeared.”
Tears fell down her face and she moved past him and towards the door so fast he didn’t even realize it until she slammed it shut behind her.
John wondered if he should run after her and apologize. But it wouldn’t matter. He was leaving again for another month and he didn’t have to worry about seeing her. It was enough time to cool off, and maybe he wouldn’t have to see her again anyways. Maybe she finally got the point that they couldn’t coexist peacefully anymore.
It was too hard for him.
Hayden walked through the crowd and her blurry eyes found the door. Once she got outside she felt arms wrap around her and she collapsed into them.
“H-Hayden? What’s wrong?”
She looked at Justin Richards, one of Halvo’s band mates. They were friends, but he looked terrified at the crying girl. “I’ll go get Eric.”
Hayden tried to protest but he was already gone. She got to her feet carefully and tried to stop crying. She took deep breaths in and out and by the time Eric reached her she had wiped most of the makeup off her cheeks.
“What happened?”
“N-nothing,” she said, “This was just a lot harder than I thought.”
“Did you talk to John?”
“A bit,” she lied, “I’m just going to go home though.”
“We barely got to talk though,” he frowned.
She faked a small smile and squeezed his hand before she kissed his cheek, “Bye, Eric.”
He looked at her strangely and kept a hold on her hand as she tried to walk away, “Lunch tomorrow?”
Hayden gave him a sad smile that she knew he wouldn’t understand until tomorrow, “I love you.”
“You too, sweets. Call me when you get home,” he gave her another kiss on her cheek, “I’m serious, Hayden.”
“Yeah,” she mumbled, “Me too. You’re a really good friend, Halvo.”
He winked at her, “You know I love when you call me that.”
She laughed softly, “Bye.”
Hayden drove to her house and changed into a sweatshirt and shorts. Tears had finally stopped falling but now she was just numb. She had been thinking about doing what she was planning now for a while. It was just too much. She honestly believed everyone would be better off.
She wrote the note to Eric. He would know that it was for him, who else would she write it to?
She thought of her brother. They hadn’t spoken in so long, maybe it would lessen the blow. Her parents would be relieved, of course, that this burden had been lifted. The O’Callaghans would feel guilty, but they knew how to mourn.
Someone would have to help Eric. All she wished was for him to understand, but that was just wishful thinking. He would curse her, scream into the heavens, or hell, that she was an idiot.
And John, well he would get his wish.
She spent a lot of time in the dark of her house, and when the sun began to rise she made her way to the door.
The weather was dark and gloomy and she thought of it as a sign. She parked her car at the bottom of the cliff and took the trail up to the top. She stood over the edge for what seemed like forever.
She stood at the top of the cliff, waiting for the wave in the distance to break. Wave after wave came and she could not do it. The wind was cold, so much colder than it should have been. The sky was dark and gloomy, lightening striking far away and thunder rolling closer.
Was it so much to ask for a little courage?
God had done all these things to her in the last four years it seemed only fair that he would give her a way out. It was a far jump. Not one that the teenagers did every weekend when they went cliff diving. No, this was serious.
This was the place where you went to die; there was even a name for it around town. It was so close to the heavens people swore they could hear God crying out for them. But she didn’t hear or feel anything. She was numb. She kicked a rock off the edge, watching it take the long fall to the water beneath.
She thought of how sore she felt and it angered her. Everything he said to her only a few hours ago was true, but she still wondered when she became this person. There was no one she even had to leave behind.
But as she fiddled with her fingers nervously she remembered the one person who might miss her. He deserved one thing, he deserved something. She reached in her back pocket and carefully unfolded the piece of paper.
She placed it on the ground next to her feet, placing a pebble atop it so it wouldn’t blow away.
Then, with one last breath she stepped to the edge. It was one foot first, then the other. Before she could even say a prayer for the one boy she would leave behind she was tumbling through the air.
It was like slow motion at first, and she thanked God that her shell of a life didn’t flash before her eyes that were drying out as she stared at the water coming closer and closer.
Finally, she closed her eyes, ready for it to be over, and silently repeating the words she had left in the note above her.
She should have known it wouldn’t be over. Nothing was ever easy, and apparently God wouldn’t let her break her promise of forever quite so soon.
♠ ♠ ♠
Heeeeey. It's nice to have a full flashback chapter, especially one that is this important.Comment HERE and let me know how you feel now that you know what happened that night. Has Hayden made any progress?
And if you guys would be so kind, follow me on tumblr. I'm new to it.
ALSO, check out my girl lovelyhope and some of her stories! She writes a really good John and Kennedy story as well as an awesome Nick Santino one!
And my best friend liar's lane. writes two greaaat Eric and John stories. Okay that's all!
xoxo Bree