The Sun Also Sets

John waited patiently behind a woman and her young son as she tried to grab all of their bags as they moved forward in the boarding line.

She looked frazzled and kept apologizing. John swung his own bag behind him and picked up her two suitcases.

“Thank you,” she said, relieved.

“No problem,” he said, smiling at the baby that stared at him as they walked onto the plane.

“Are you guys going home?” the woman asked, nodding at John and all of his friends behind him.

“Yeah, we all live in Tempe,” John replied.

“What brought you to New York?” she asked.

“Actually we just ended a national tour. Are you from Arizona?” he asked as he put her bags in an overhead bin.

“No,” she smiled weakly. The two sat across the aisle from each other. Her son was slowly falling asleep. He was maybe a year old and had big blue eyes that matched hers.

It was then that John noticed the black eye the young woman had tried to cover with makeup, and the marks of hand prints on her wrists.

“Sam and I are starting over,” she said, smiling at her baby.

John nodded his head, “I guess Arizona is a pretty good place to do that.”

“Plus, it’s about as far away we can get without me becoming a stripper to pay for a house in California,” she said. She noticed John didn’t laugh, “Just kidding.”

He smiled absentmindedly, not trying to be rude but his mind was on something else. “I hope that you and your son find everything you’re hoping to find.”

“You, too,” she smiled before turning back to her son.

John closed his eyes and put ear buds in his ears. It would be a few hours until they landed and he was already nervous. He always felt this way when going home. It was hard for him to avoid his family. It would be even harder to stay away from Hayden.

Eric said that she was being moved to the rehabilitation clinic tomorrow. She was starting to walk since her legs healed up and she had been in a really bad mood because of it. Halvo was throwing a party for their homecoming, but everyone knew it was more like a party for Eric to just relax and drink with his best friends.

But John couldn’t stop thinking about her. He figured it wasn’t appropriate for him to go see her, but he longed to just see her face or hear her voice. The only problem was he didn’t want to hear what she had to say.

++

Hayden’s hospital room was the last one at the end of the hallway. She heard light footsteps coming toward her, expecting Eric. She thought he had gone to pick up the band from the airport, but maybe their flight had been delayed.

But the small woman who rounded the corner and stood still in the doorway took her by surprise. She looked tired and much older, though it had only been a couple of years since Hayden last saw her.

She smiled weakly, waiting for Hayden to say something, anything, to allow her entrance.

“Camille?” Hayden spoke, sitting up in her bed.

“Hi, Hayden,” she said as she slowly approached her bed. She held her hands behind her back but Hayden could see the flowers peeking out. Camille noticed and handed her the bouquet of daisies.

“These are for you,” she said.

“Thank you,” Hayden said, setting them down to lie across her body, “W-what are you doing here?”

“Well, you know I heard about what happened and I’ve been trying to get out of the house for weeks. I even convinced John to let me buy a new outfit to calm my nerves,” she smiled guiltily.

Hayden smiled, “You look great.”

Camille sat next to her bed, “How are you feeling? You look much better than I thought you would.”

“Well I’m getting transferred tomorrow to a therapy type clinic, so I guess by definition I’m doing better,” she said flatly.

Camille hesitated but finally rested her thin hand atop Hayden’s, “I am so sorry that you thought you had to do this.”

“It’s not your fault,” Hayden told her honestly.

“I will take responsibility for my son,” she said.

“Not his fault either.”

“John is just stubborn, baby. I guess we never taught him how to forgive, but I just want you to know that I never hated you for what happened. I didn’t take sides, because I love you too much,” Camille said.

Hayden smiled, her heart filling up with what she presumed was happiness, “I love you, too.”

“Have you spoken to him?” she asked.

“Not about anything important,” she lied. Hayden didn’t want to break Camille O’Callaghan’s heart anymore than it already was. She knew John hardly came around since the band started touring full time three years ago.

“He comes home today, you know? Well, home as in Arizona, not his home, obviously,” Camille said, laughing softly in an attempt to make it not awkward.

“Have you seen my mom or dad lately?” Hayden asked, changing the subject.

She shrugged, “I haven’t spoken to your mother in over a year. But obviously John sees your father at every partner’s meeting.”

The O’Callaghan and the Reynolds families went farther back then either of the parents liked to remember. John and Peter had met in college, pledging the same fraternity. They became best friends, finished law school together, and eventually opened up their own practice. They even had their first two children at the same time.

Camille and Kara met through their husbands. Camille had tried to keep it a secret that she wasn’t Kara’s biggest fan, but it became harder as they grew up. Camille O’Callaghan was the one who went to all of Hayden’s soccer games, the one who drove her to school, the one who taught her how to put on makeup.

“Has my dad said anything… lately?” Hayden asked, feigning her amount of interest by speaking calmly.

“John said he’s been more distant. Well, more so then before. I always liked Peter, I think he probably misses you, too,” she said.

Peter Reynolds was a hard worker. Everyone said he was very well rounded-the ultimate man’s man. He graduated college with the highest honors, played baseball all his life, was a phenomenal cook, and he loved his wife.

But Hayden wasn’t like him. She was only slightly above average in college scholastics, she couldn’t cook at all, she preferred soccer over baseball, and he didn’t love her. Not like he loved her little brother.

He tried, though. He tried much harder than her mom. For the first part of her life he was a good father, always protecting his little girl. But when Caleb was born he attached to him and forgot about Hayden, pretty much allowing Camille to take over.

But four years ago, he gave up on her.

“She’s our daughter, Kara!” he screamed.

“She hasn’t been our daughter since she became friends with the O’Callaghan boy and Camille took her in. As far as I’m concerned she’s not our child!” Kara fought back.

“John and Camille have done everything for her and he is my best friend. Look at how you’re making me look! Like I don’t even care about my only daughter!”

“I don’t care what happens to her, Peter! She deserves it. I don’t even know her anymore,” she said as she took a sip of the bottle in her hand.

“You never knew her! She needs us, Kara. We are her parents,” Peter said, begging for her to agree.

She dismissed him with a wave of her hand, “If you want to help her you can find a new place to sleep. If you plan to see her, one of us is leaving, and I promise I’ll take Caleb.”

Hayden watched her parents from the bottom step of the staircase in her childhood home. Her mom left the room and left her dad with his hands on his hips, shaking his head.

She walked to him, “Dad…”

“I think you need to find another place to stay,” he said quietly.

“But dad, no one will let me stay-” she reached for him, but he moved away.

“I-I can’t, Hayden,” he said, not meeting her eyes, “I’m sorry.”

“Are they still sending you the bills?” Camille asked.

Hayden looked at her, “You don’t need to worry about that.”

She shook her head, “We begged them not to do it.”

“I owe it, to you. I know you don’t agree but it’s true. I have no problem paying it because I know it was for you,” Hayden said.

The two women stared at each other, Camille just looking so sad. Hayden hardly recognized her.

“Mama Ohhh!” Eric sang as he entered the room. He leaned down and kissed her cheek, “I got this coffee for Hayden, but you can have it.”

She smiled, “Thank you, Eric. I really should be going.”

Eric wrapped his arm around her shoulder, “So… what’s for dinner tonight?”

“Pot roast. But I’ll only feed you if you bring my son,” Camille said.

Eric frowned, “I’ll do my best.”

Camille leaned down to kiss Hayden’s forehead, “You look well, beautiful. Please, whatever you’re feeling, know that we love you. There are enough people that love you.”

“I tell her that every day, Mama,” Eric said.

“I miss my son, kids. I miss all three of you coming over for dinner and my heart hurts when I know I can’t see you all together again. Do you think he’ll come see you?” Camille asked.

“No.” Hayden answered, but Eric answered at the same time, saying, “Yes.”

Camille looked back and forth between the two, “Either way, bring my son home. Please, bring him home.”

++

John smiled as he inhaled the familiar scent of cigarettes and alcohol in his house. He greeted friends from high school and people he met at in his days at Arizona State. It was packed inside him and Eric’s small home.

“John!” he turned to hug Eric.

“Nice turn out, Halvo,” John said.

“Thanks, bro,” Eric said as they both surveyed the party, “We threw some crazy parties back in our day.”

Hayden giggled as Eric sat on her lap, and John groaned since Hayden was already on his lap.

“Awe, I love you guys!” Eric yelled over the music.

“I’m kind of getting tired of these parties every weekend,” Hayden said.

“Yeah, I’m getting too old for this,” John said. They all looked out at the kids in John’s house. They didn’t know half of them, but every one of them knew the three sitting cramped on a single chair.

They were in the first half of their senior year, but the kids at the house were of all ages, some even already graduated. Hayden only laughed when younger girls not-so-covertly danced in front of John, laughing louder than they would have normally, looking at him seductively.

She didn’t feel threatened because John belonged to her, and everyone knew it. Hayden was the only girl that hung around consistently with their group. People said things about her, that they only kept her around to sleep with her, or that most of them hated her.

She didn’t care. These boys were hers. Especially Eric, John, and Garrett- she adored them.

“John, do you see this kid totally undressing Hayden with his eyes?” Eric said, nodding his head towards another senior in the corner that only smirked when they all looked his way.

“I don’t care,” John said as he wrapped his arms around Hayden’s waist, pulling her tight up against him, “She’s all mine.”

Hayden giggled and kissed him. She barely heard Eric in her ear saying, “I hate you guys.” She shooed him away with her hand.

“Let’s not go to a party for a while, okay?” she said.

“What do you propose we do instead?” he smiled.

She shrugged, a smile tugging at her lips, “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

John turned back to Eric as he patted him on the back, handing him a shot glass filled to the brim. He soon noticed the group around him, all of his friends that shared all of his crazy stories from high school.

“To my best friends,” Tim Kirch said as they all lifted their glasses.

They all drank, everyone exhaling sharply once they had swallowed. Someone began pouring more but John opted out. He began talking to Tim but out of the corner of his eye he saw Kennedy, Garrett, and Eric tap their shot glasses against one another.

He wouldn’t have thought twice about it if it wasn’t for the date. Then he looked at the time: 12:01 a.m. And then he heard Eric’s voice acting as a chase to their drink,

“To Hayden’s 22nd birthday.”

++

Hayden closed her eyes, imagining what was going on at Eric and John’s house. She wished she could be there, she wished it was like high school when people envied her, and everyone tried to be her friend. Even if she went to this party, there would be less than five people there that cared to see her.

She didn’t want to see John. It would just be too much. Seeing his mom made her feel more disgusted with herself than any time before. No one could forgive her, but of all people Camille O’Callaghan could? It hurt her heart.

That had been the point of jumping. She wanted to avoid any confrontations with the people that deserved to hate her. She realized now that if she had left this world it would have caused somewhat of a ripple effect. She had underestimated how much Eric had loved her.

But for as much as he cared there was just enough hate to overpower it. It was only fair. That old saying what goes around comes around had long been the theme to Hayden’s life. She had experienced enough of what had come around.

But even though Eric loved her, and Kennedy cared, and Garrett felt guilty, it wasn’t enough. Because Hayden felt too guilty, she didn’t care enough, but most of all she didn’t love herself. There was only one other person, besides herself, that had ever made her love who she was. The person who loved her for her as long as he had known her, but was also able to forget and regret that love in an instant.

And as much as she hated to admit it, he had every right to despise her.