Social Suicide

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Billie could hear the alarm through his sleep, but he wasn't at all in a rush to turn it off. Somehow, even in a half asleep daze, he knew that it was a day off and that he didn't need to get up right away. With his eyes still closed, the rest of his body started to wake up. He felt warmer than normal, but only on part of his body. He usually slept on his stomach, but he knew that he was on his back and his arm was half asleep. When he went to reach for the alarm he found that his arm was caught on something.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

He heard a groan next to him and opened his eyes to find Willa holding her head up staring at the alarm. His arm was free now and he stretched it a little trying to get the circulation done. She rose from where she must have been resting her head on his chest and turned the alarm off by reaching across him to reach it. Her bare chest slid across his and although he was dead tired, one part of his anatomy was definitely wide awake due to her move.

"What time is it Fred?" he asked as he tried to concentrate on something else. He stared at the ceiling and tried to keep his gaze off of her.

"Don't call me that!" she pouted.

"Why not?"

"I don't like it," she said.

"Fred it's not a bad thing. It's like a pet name for you," he ran his hand along her bare back then tucked the sheet around her. "I think you'd object to Babe."

"I don't like it," she said with a pout.

He pouted back. "What time is it?"

"About three thirty," she said.

He let out a groan. He'd known that he'd slept hard that night, well the hour that they'd been in bed after their lengthy shower. "AM or PM?" he asked closing his eyes again.

"AM," she said softly then changed her tone to one of sarcasm, "Kathy better be a good cook."

He opened his eyes and found her looking down at him. "Ah, poor baby. Needs more beauty sleep?" He reached up and pushed her hair behind her ear.

"It's too early," she said and rested her chin against his chest.

"Morning honey."

With a smile he reached up and pulled her down to him for a kiss. His hand met wet hair and for a moment he was confused then he remembered the shower that they'd shared before they'd fallen asleep earlier. It had been quite the little experience taking a shower with her. He'd never gotten to the point of taking showers with his former girlfriends. Other girls had been intimate with him, but somehow they'd never been that open and easy enough with each other to do that.

"Morning," she said.

He watched her smile at him softly. Her eyes crinkled at the edges.

"We should get up."

"I know."

"We don't have to dress up or anything," he said.

"Good."

"You have pajama bottoms you can wear over there?" he asked.

"I have sweats."

"Well grab them up and put on some running shoes and we'll head over."

"Okay," she said. She hopped up and walked naked over to her suitcase.

"God Willa, you're killing me," he said softly.

"Huh?" she asked as she leaned down to get her clothes. She pushed her hair over her shoulder then pulled out underwear and clothes to wear to breakfast.

"Nothing," he said and slid out of bed and went to the closet so that he could get dressed himself.

"Ugh!" He heard a moment later.

"What?" He asked turning back to her.

"I look like hell," she said. She had caught her reflection in the mirror and was staring at herself.

"It's three thirty in the morning," he pulled his boxers over his slender figure and then a paid of black Dickies, which he'd grabbed out and went over to her side.

"No one is going to take your picture Fred. Throw your hair up and we'll head over. I'm starving." Willa gave him a once over.

"What'd I do?"

"Billie, why do you still where those pants? You're sitting on millions and you are still wearing $20 pants that make you look like smug?"

"They're comfortable. I don't need to spend hundreds on clothes like some models." He replied as he added a shot of his tongue.

"I don't spend hundreds! I usually get my clothes free."

"Ah, well I do not."

Willa leaned and kissed him. "You look great anyways. Okay, lets go."

Billie argued with her relentlessly about his pants for 20 minutes until they pulled into Mike's mother's driveway. When they'd gotten out of the car she'd been hesitant, asking about her outfit as a way of stalling.

"At least you don't look like a smug." Willa smiled at him.

They reached and knocked and looked around for a moment trying to see if he could tell if everyone had gotten there yet or not. He didn't see any extra cars, other than his own BMW.

"Finally, the missing duo," Kathy Pritchard said as she opened the door. She smiled at them both then held the door open as they entered.

"Happy New Year kiddies."

"Happy New Year," they replied in unison. Billie had Willa's hand and could tell from her grip on his hand that she was nervous.

"Everyone's already here?" He asked hugging his second mother. He'd always loved coming to her house, other than being back home in California, this was the closest thing to really being home.

"Yeah, down in the basement watching movies."

Billie looked at Willa and noticed how nervous she was. She pulled her hair down from the rubberband she had it in and ran her hands through her hair then put it back up in a ponytail.

"Oh, sorry," Billie said, "Kathy, this is Willa Marviani."

"Its nice to meet you," Kathy said and hugged Willa. "Come on in, we'll get you guys breakfast and you can go watch movies with everyone, although they're probably already falling asleep. I haven't heard Mike or Tre laughing in a while."

Billie and Willa followed Kathy into the kitchen and Willa slid into a chair when Billie pulled one out for her at the breakfast bar as Lynn slid around into the kitchen.

"What can I get you?" she asked.

"What's on the menu?" Billie asked with a laugh.

Kathy smiled at him. He knew that she would make anything he wanted. He was on her good side and he knew that she liked to baby him when his own mom wasn't around. "Anything sweetie, you know that."

"Got any French Toast?"

"But of course," she said, "Would you like some too Willa?"

"Sure," Willa said with a shrug, "I don't want you to go out of your way to get us fed."

"No worries," She said, "I've already helped make omelets, hot cereal, cold cereal, orange juice, grape juice. I'm my own little catering service."

Billie let out a laugh thinking of the eight others, plus Mike's daughter and nephew running around in the kitchen with Kathy as the ring master of her own little circus. She went about making the French Toast and Billie slid into a chair next to Willa.

"Honey did you have fun with your mom and dad at home?"

"Yeah," he said, "I got to see everybody. My enormous family."

"That's good," Kathy said dunking the bread into the egg and milk mixture. She glanced at Willa. "What about you, hon?"

"Oh I flew from New York to my parent's house in Seattle for the week. I hadn't been home in a while. It was pretty good, although my parents still think of me as their little baby."

"Oh Willa, parents always think of their kids as babies. I mean Mike is over thirty and is about a foot and a half taller than me, but he's still my little baby." Billie let out a laugh at that comment.

"You be careful Billie Joe Armstrong. Your mother says the same thing about you."

"Yeah, but at least she doesn't say it to my friends," he said.

"Well I'll remind her to do that next time." Kathy began to cook the pieces of bread and Billie watched closely.

"So how was your night?"

"Other than a run in with a few people we didn't want to see, it was great."

Willa let out a groan and looked at Billie. "I still can't understand what they were doing there together."

"They?" Kathy asked.

"My best friend, excuse me, my former best friend and my ex-boyfriend showed up at Planet Hollywood tonight. I just don't understand how they got there together. I know that Amy knows how much I hate Brennan."

"Brennan? That model guy?" Kathy asked, "I'm glad you picked Billie. I don't like that guy. He's too pretty." Willa nodded.

Billie smiled, "I must be better looking than I thought if even you know that I'm better than that guy."

Kathy laughed. "I'm biased."

"Me too," Willa said and leaned over and kissed Billie's cheek.

"You did well with them," Billie commented as they left the Pritchard house a few hours later and headed for the car arm in arm. They stepped down the steps in unison and began to do a crooked walk like the Monkees did, stepping in front of each other for no apparent reason.

They'd spent the morning hanging around in the large basement entertainment room with the others, watching movies and playing with Mike's daughter and nephew, but as it neared eight o'clock everyone started to get tired and Billie announced that they were going to head out. His announcement got a few catcalls from the others and had made Willa blush furiously at the thought that they'd realized what had gone on after they'd left the party last night, but she knew that they deserved a little bit of razzing about their early departure.

After the morning of bonding with the other girlfriends and the guys Willa was sad to leave them. She'd been stalled a little by saying all her good-byes and thank you's to Mike's parents, but knew that she couldn't pass up leaving considering that she would be able to spend almost the next two days alone with Billie before she flew back home. She was completely scared of what was going to happen in the next few hours, but the treat of being in the same room as Billie overpowered a little of her fear.

"I did?" She asked squinting at the sun that now seemed high in the sky compared to when they'd arrived that morning in the dark. "I should have brought my sunglasses." Billie laughed a little.

She made a face at him knowing that he was laughing at the way she was pouting in the bright light. She couldn't help it. A few days before she'd been in the rainy weather of Seattle and before that she'd been in the snow of New York City. The sun of Florida was a shock to the system after spending most of the last month or two in bad weather.

"Kathy liked you and you and I didn't fight for an entire morning. Now if that isn't a miracle then I don't know what is." He smiled at her, taking her hand to lead her down to the curb.

"What? The part about Kathy liking me?" Willa joked as he opened the car door for her. They'd been joking all morning and wanted to keep that comedic tone as they left. He held the door open for her, not saying a word.

For a moment she thought he might be mad about her comment, but then he just smiled at her with a toothy grin. "Whatever you say honey." His voice came out rough as if he was trying to show that it was hard for him to get the message out. He kissed her before shutting her in the car so that he could go around the driver's side. She watched his forced smile as he walked around the front of the car and came to the driver's side door.

As Willa sat in the car she nervously remembered the night before. They'd had a great time together both at the party and alone at his house, but she wasn't sure how the rest of the day would go. Her sexual relationships with previous boyfriends had never been too romantic, sure when the person was in the moment they were all hearts and flowers, but she'd never had, other than Brennan, anyone who'd stuck around to long. She now was facing one of her worst fears: the day after.

Her morning with him had been pleasant, funny and even relaxed, but only because they had been with other people. She wasn't at all against being alone with him, but she feared that things would be strange between them now. Sex always seemed to complicate things for her.

The companionship of the others had given her a safety net to fall back on by providing an audience for all their conversations. The gathered group, especially the audience of the children, left it impossible for them to mention the events of the night before, although she was sure it wasn't far from either of their thoughts.

She'd caught him staring at her a few times with the look of lust in his eyes, but the situation made it impossible for them or for anyone else to mention the subject of their sleepover, but now as they left to go and be alone with each other she wasn't sure how calm she was going to be able being alone with him.

"Fred, are you okay?" He asked looking at her. He squinted his eyes a little examining her face much like she'd seen doctors do when giving a person an eye examination. He studied her almost too closely, almost looking through her instead of at her.

Willa forced a smile onto her face. She didn't want to alarm him too much. She had seen the way he'd over reacted about the whole security issue and she guessed that he'd fly in some counselor or psychiatrist if he thought she was even a bit mentally stressed out. Not that a little voluntary counseling wouldn't help her, or anyone, who had to deal with getting criticism on a daily basis from the associated press, but she really didn't think that it should be a mandatory thing, the way she thought Billie would want it to be.

"Ah, yeah, just thinking..." She shook her head and tried to clear her thoughts. "...plus I'm tired."

"Well I don't know about you, but I'm ready to go back to bed."

Willa tensed at that thought, gripping the door handle so hard that her knuckles began to turn while. Her hands hurt from the force of her grip, but it was the only thing that she could do to keep herself in her seat. When she thought about it she wanted to run away, not away from Billie really, but from the tension that came along with sharing a sexual relationship with someone.

"Are you sure you're okay?" He started the engine and looked at her for a moment before he made the move to put it into gear so that they could pull away from the curb.

"I'm fine." She tried to repeat that to herself silently to keep her nerves in check, but it wasn't working too well.

Billie pulled the car away from the curb and drove across town, back to the house, without another word to her. The silence was strangely nice. It gave her a chance to try to plan out how she was going to keep herself calm for the next two days.
When they got to the house Billie parked the car in the garage and they went into the house through the kitchen door. It was a quite a homey little scene, them coming home to the huge house. She'd imagined living like that, coming home to him at night, while she'd been in Europe, but the real thing seemed a lot more nerve wreaking than her day dreams.

Once inside Billie slid out of his jacket. The nylon rustling against itself made a noise that in the quiet house, sounded twenty times louder than it probably was. He shook it a little, getting it to fall a certain way then he hung it over a chair then went to check the answering machine for messages.

"Home sweet home," he mumbled, "I don't usually get this sentimental about things, but God I love this kitchen."

Willa watched him stare at the machine for a minute from where she'd been standing after they'd entered the room. He didn't notice her nervousness. He was staring at the message machine with his finger poised just over what she thought would be the play button looking as if he was debating whether to listen to the waiting messages. He finally seemed to notice her stuck in her position and walked over to her.

"Fred, you can take off your jacket and stay a while. You're flight doesn't leave for about thirty-six hours."

"I know," she said softly suddenly feeling stupid for standing in the middle of the kitchen like she was. She slowly slid out of her jacket. She hung it over the back of the chair where Billie's jacket was, pausing to grip the chair-back for a moment, turning her knuckles white again. When she felt her fingers starting to go numb she let go of the chair to slide into the seat at the small breakfast table.

"Are you going to be like this for the rest of your visit?" He asked in a half sarcastic tone. He put his hands on his hips in an accusing manner, as if she was choosing to be difficult with him.

"Like what?" She looked up at him startled at his observation of her behavior. She hated to be difficult, but she was feeling completely out of place. She usually could bullshit her way through uncomfortable positions, but not in this case. He knew her too well and she knew he'd call her on it if she tried to pull her attitude with him.

She watched Billie looking at her with frustration showing on his face. She knew that she was being a little difficult, not telling him everything that was on her mind, but she couldn't help it, she couldn't express for the moment what was scaring her. There were so many things that seemed to be putting pressure on her, half of them being invented in her own mind by her past experiences.
He rubbed his forehead and sighed.

"You're all quiet and it's freaking me out. I don't like--"

"Sorry." She cut him off with her apology, something she thought he wanted to hear. She lowered her eyes from his direction.

He studied her for a moment. She couldn't see him really, she was staring at his shoes, but he wasn't moving and she could tell that he didn't plan to.

"Are you tired or something?" He asked. He then turned and mocked the questions she would always ask him when he was being difficult over the phone.

"You aren't getting sick or something are you?"

She nodded that she wasn't getting sick, but didn't look up to meet his gaze. She had a feeling that he already knew that she was lying. He knew that she wasn't good at making things up like that.

"Willa, look at me for a second."

"What?" She asked and didn't look at him.

"Willa look at me." His commanding tone on his second request made her comply to his request.

"What?" She asked again. She looked back in his direction, but didn't make eye contact with him. She didn't know how she was going to get through the next two days with him and she didn't want him to see that she was scared to be there with him alone.

"Fred, what's wrong?" He kicked out of his shoes, throwing them towards the back sliding glass door then came over and put an arm around her and hugged her to him as she still sat in the chair. Her face was buried into his stomach near his belly button. She pressed her cheek against him, holding him close, and breathed deeply trying to take her mind of everything.

Somehow in his arms things didn't seem to be as bad. The night before, when they'd been in bed, she hadn't thought about all the drama that would be waiting for her when she woke up in the morning. He'd taken away all her worries and her few hours of sleep with him had been the most restful she'd had in weeks.

"Nothing," she said.

"Willa you're a terrible liar." He pushed her away from his body so that he could look down at her to show her some sympathy with a crooked smile. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing," she said weakly.

"Are you having regrets?" His tone was the most serious she'd ever heard it be. She'd seen him act serious before, but his tone was a bit scary. She hated serious conversations like that. She just wished that things could be simple for them, but she knew that simple would never be a word that would describe their relationship.

"No."

He sighed heavily and squeezed her close to him. "Then what is it?"

She moved back again to look up at him. The fear wasn't hidden from her eyes. She didn't even try to mask her feelings. How could she hide now that he knew something was wrong?

"I'm just unsure--"

"Willa if its regrets just tell me." He leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm not going to get pissed or anything, even if you do have them."

"No, no." She shook her head to show him as well as tell him her feelings. "Last night was great and I wouldn't take back any of it." She quickly tried to mend whatever she'd broken with her initial remark.

He let out a breath. "Good, my ego can stay in tack."

She smiled then let her smile fade. "What worries me is how we're going to be together now."

Billie sucked in deep breath of air and let it out almost as if he'd been waiting for this topic to come up in conversation. He pulled her up from her chair and led her into the living room. He sat her down on the couch like a child then sat across from her on the edge of the coffee table. He looked down at the ground for a moment, as if to gather his thoughts then looked up and made eye contact with her, his serious expression setting the tone for what he was about to say.

"Willa you and I..." His voice was soft as he began. He paused for a moment and watched her. "Well you and I are never going to have a quote normal relationship. I mean we've seen that in the last weeks trying to get together isn't easy, but we're trying to spend time together, which for the moment is all we can do. Whatever we do make of this relationship has to be done together. Only you and I really knows what goes on between us and that's something we need to protect, but we also need to rely in that bond. You need to trust enough in me so that you can come to me and tell me what's on your mind and I hope that I can do the same with you."

She nodded. "The stuff between you and me is the easy part."

"So what is worrying you?" He asked, "Specifically."

"Last night...at the party..." She wrung her hands together and tried to breathe deeply. "...Amy and Brennan and a lot of the stuff they had to say about us was true. I mean the reason we got together in the first place was fake." She paused. "I never should have agreed to that...I never should have...People are going to keep bringing that up."

"Who cares?"

"I do," she said and tears came suddenly to her eyes. She didn't want to, but she felt as if she needed to defend herself and her relationship with Billie twenty-four hours a day. "I know that the beginning was rough for us and I want to get past that. I don't want that to stand between us or cheapen anything that we might have together. I don't think I could handle the press picking up on that story. They'll rip me apart in the press if they found out the real story."

"Fred you need to ignore them." He took her hand and held it, rubbing the back of her hand gently with his thumb. "Honey, if you and I know why we're together then it doesn't matter what everyone else thinks. In the beginning it was a little strange, and I'll admit that was my fault, but you and I are together... at least I think... because we love each other. It just happens to be that our relationship is going to keep our names in the news, but that really isn't the reason that I'm dating you. If that was the reason, I'm sure I would have dumped you a long time ago..." He let out a bit of a laugh and rubbed his cheek with his hand.

"...probably when you smacked me that one time." Willa let out a small laugh and wiped her eyes with her free hand.

"It just worries me that Brennan and Amy seemed so hostile towards us, which is completely unwarranted. They both know the real reason that we got together and some how in the pit of my stomach I feel that they aren't going to let that go."
Willa's hand shook in his.

"You don't need to be paranoid," he said in a soft voice.

"I'm not paranoid!" She snapped at him then closed her mouth and watched him. Tears came to her eyes again, but this time she let them fall as the real pain of the insults of last night finally sunk in. "I just don't understand why Amy could side with Brennan like that. She is-" She choked as the thought hit her.

Back stabbing in the modeling industry wasn't at all uncommon, but it had never happened directly to her before and she never would have guessed that Amy would be the one to do it. They'd formed a bond, a friendship, in the midst of all that drama and had always been the dynamic duo when dealing with the industry and all that came with it. "She was my friend."

"With friends like that..." Billie commented with a sarcastic tone, "...who needs enemies?"

Willa put her hand up and let it fall into her lap in a frustrated manner. She was tired of all the drama that had found its way into her life. It had weighed on her before, but now that things had gotten complicated with Amy and Brennan, it was taking a more personal toll on her.

Before, when rumors had circulated about her, she'd been able to defend herself, but now she wasn't sure how she was going to handle the attacks from the outside world on the two of them. With Brennan and Amy teamed up they could destroy her in ways she didn't want to even think about.

"I understand why Brennan is upset." She stopped and took a breath as the emotions hit her full on. "He thought I cheated on him, but Amy...Amy has no reason to be upset and no reason to say what they said."

She took a deep breath as she remembered the remarks. The night before they'd slid off her protective armor, but today they had sunk in. "They practically yelled out that I'm a prostitute!"

Billie pulled her closer, across the space between them and settled her sideways in his lap then held her in his arms, rubbing her back and petting her hair trying to calm her as she cried into his shoulder.

It was almost a half hour before Billie and Willa moved from their perch on the edge of the coffee table. He'd wanted to move for a while, but hadn't mentioned it to her. He wasn't sure if she was done with her crying and he didn't want to rush her if she wasn't done.

By the time his cell phone began to ring, causing a need for both of them to move, Billie's feet were tingling from being asleep. He didn't complain or even mention that to her, but when he got up he felt sharp pains as he tried to walk and she couldn't help but to notice the way he limped across the living room.

He caught her looking at him strangely. "What?"

"What's wrong?" She asked.

"My feet are asleep," he said with a shrug then reached and pulled the phone to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hey BJ," the voice said.

"Dave is that you?" He asked.

"The one and only." His friend's cheery voice was startling to hear that early in the morning.

"What are you up to?"

"Running around in circles."

"How's the business going?"

"Good. Good." He sighed. "I've been so busy that I've been out of circulation for a while. What's this I hear about you being hitched?"

"Not hitched," he said and reached for Willa, who curled herself automatically into his arms, holding herself against him as he spoke into the phone. "I've got someone in my life at the moment."

"She hot?"

Billie let out a laugh. "Yes she's hot."

Willa looked up at him. "Who are you talking to?"

"One of my friends from high school," he whispered.

"She's there right now?" Dave asked.

"Yeah, want to say hello?" He said.

"No that's okay."

Willa looked at Lance as if she was ready to take the phone away from him to talk then pouted. "No love for you then."

"Oh so that's how it is?" Dave asked Billie.

"I guess so," He teased.

"Well I'll let you go be with your woman. I'll give you a call next week. I'm going to be back in the states for a while and I'm planning a trip to the East."

"I'm going to be in New York in a few days," Billie said.

"Really?" Dave sounded excited to hear his news. "What days?"

"From the 5th to the 10th."

"I'll be there on the 7th. Want to catch lunch?"

"Sure," he said, "I'll have to check the schedule and all, but maybe you can meet up with me and the guys for an hour or so."

"Sounds good, give me a call back before you leave town."

"Okay."

"And be careful with that woman of yours. I heard she's a real hellcat."

"Where'd you hear that?"

"I read it in some newspaper."

"I told you not to believe what you read in the papers about me."

"But of course," he said with a laugh and a moment or two later they both hung up.

"Who was that?" Willa asked.

"Dave," Billie said with a smile thinking of his friend. He hadn't seen the guy in a while, but their long friendship wouldn't suffer from the time away. They always seemed to pick up where they left off when they found each other again. "He and I went to high school together and he just graduated from college and moved to England to work for an advertising agency in London. I haven't seen him in about six months."

"Wow, you're still friends with people from back home?"

"You're not?"

"I lost track of people. I traveled around a little more than you did."

"That would surprise me."

"I went to fourteen different countries the first two months I was working."

"Whoa. Maybe you do beat me," he hugged her. "So who do you hang out with now? Other than me of course."

"Well I see Elena a lot and before this whole New Years fiasco Amy and I were like the double-mint twins, but now I don't know what I'm going to do. Amy was the first person in New York I met. We were like sisters, which is why it really amazes me that she would go and hang out with Brennan."

Billie listened to her talking, but at the same time he couldn't ignore the tingling pain in his still asleep foot. He shook his foot a little trying to get the circulation going.

She turned and looked at her bottom. "I didn't think my ass was that big to cut off the circulation to your legs."

"Yeah," He swatted at her bottom with a laugh then winced when he went to take the first step up the stairs. He leaned down and rubbed his calf with one hand.

"Owe."

"Oh leave it alone you big baby," she teased.

"But it hurts," he sneered.

She put a hand out and tried to comfort him. "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine," he said pushing her hand playfully off of him. He pointed towards the front of the house where the stairs were. "Naptime missy."

"Whatever you say DAD."

"Oh no...don't call me that."

"Why not? I thought all guys' dreamed of being called BIG DADDY."

"Not quite." With a smile and a kiss to his cheek she took his hand and led the way to the stairs and eventually to his room.

Once inside his room he let go of her hand and moved to the side of the bed, flopping down on the bed with a thud. "I need a nap," he groaned. He hadn't realized how tired he was. He usually was used to partying all night and working the next day, but for some reason he was more tired than he thought he would have been, not that he was complaining about why he was tired.

Willa followed his lead and made herself comfortable next to him, moving his arms out and around her again.

"We're too old to be staying up all night like that."

"Are you complaining?" He asked.

She leaned and kissed him. "No," she said, "We just don't need to be getting up at four am after staying out until one. That seems reasonable."

He nodded. "I'll remember that."

"You do that," she said with mock seriousness.

*****

"I don't want to go," she whined leaning her cheek flat against his chest, near his heart, tipping her chin up so that she could see his eyes with hers.

He tipped his chin down and looked at her sad hound-dog face she was making for his benefit. He made eye contact with her and smiled. It was almost the hundredth time she'd repeated her opinion on the current situation which only made him want to roll his eyes at her. The two of them were laying in bed, him on his back, bare-chested, and her cuddled against him, after a long afternoon of cuddling and kissing and talking.

Willa was wearing only a huge T-shirt that she'd stolen out of his drawer after she'd taken a shower when they'd returned from being out shopping and he was in a pair of basketball shorts that she'd thrown to him when he'd stepped out of the shower himself.

"Well Fred," he said running his hand along her cheek and threw her hair, moving the part from one side of her head to the other. "I'm not the one who says you have to go. I'd keep you here forever if I could." He pulled her against his chest tightly, trying to mask the real pain he had in his chest with the weight of her body against his.

Willa maneuvered her body up so that she was face to face with him when his arms lightened their hold on her. "Good then I'll stay."

Billie moved his lips away from her when she leaned and tried to kiss him. It didn't seem to stop her, she leaned and kissed his cheek instead, then moved and nuzzled his neck. "Oh no you will not," He made a face at her hoping that it would make her smile.

"Do you think that I have a death wish?"

"No." She laughed. "Honey, Elena won't be mad."

"Maybe not at you...you're the golden child, but she's not making any money off of me, which means she'll have no problem killing me."

"You're over reacting."

"You want to bet?" he said.

Willa sat up a little. "How would you know?"

Billie looked up at her, pushing her hair out of her eyes. "I know. Believe me. I know. That woman is scary enough listening to her over the phone. I know she'll come after me if I cause her little girl to miss work."

"I can just call Elena and say that I'm sick."

"Well don't just do anything until I'm out of the country. Not at least until I find a hideout. I'm sure she'll be blaming me if you don't make that shoot."

"Whatever," she laughed and hugged him.

Their lips met and they kissed a comfortable kiss. Billie had been nervous about them getting more physical with each other and there had been a little resistance at first, but now it was almost second nature for him to lean and kiss her. He'd done it so many times in the last two days that he couldn't imagine being away from her for two days and not being able to do it.

"Are you worried about going back to New York, Fred?" He asked.

"Right now I'm worried about being out of this house without some kind of protection. Actually Amy should be afraid of me being without someone around who will pull her off of me."

"Get her girl!" Billie let out a bark and a growl teasing about her sudden fierceness.

Willa sat up next to where Billie was on his back and sat Indian style, tucking the shirt around her so that her underwear were covered. "You are such a dork. I let that girl get to me, but at the time there wasn't much I could do. I'm not going to start a brawl with her in the middle of a huge party like that. I'd look like the bitch and I'm not messing up everything just because she's got a little chip on her shoulder."

"Okay, what did you do with Willa who was here last night and yesterday and when is she going to be back?" Billie asked. He knew that she loved to confuse the hell out of him, but this was ridiculous.

Willa picked at her fingernails with a nervous energy. "That girl may have said a few choice words to me at the party, but believe me, this is far from over. I have a few choice words of my own to say to her and believe me, she'll hear them sooner or later."

Billie put a hand on her knee that was closest to him, patting her skin, as if he was patting her on the back for her efforts. His hand finally rested on the skin of her leg. "Just don't go picking any fights okay slugger?"

"I won't." She motioned that she was crossing her heart with her promise. "At least not without Spanky around to pull me off of her when she's had enough."

He reached and messed up her hair. "Whatever Fred."

Willa automatically smacked at his chest. "Don't patronize me!"

"Owe," he said and covered the stingy skin of her bare chest with a hand.

"Oh," she gave him a patronizing look. "Did I hurt the big bad rock star?"

A smile spread across his face. He hadn't seen that bluntness, that boldness, since before New Years and he was relieved to have her back. "There's my girl."

She put her hands on her hips. "I'm offended. I didn't go anywhere."

"Sure you didn't honey," he said.

"I was thinking...you know...planning...I wasn't dead or anything."

A smile formed on his face as he watched her search for words. It was laughable to see her struggling for the confidence that had gotten her in trouble a million times with him in the past.

***

The sun was nowhere in the sky when Willa's plane touched down in the middle of a blizzard at JFK airport. The storm that had blanketed most of the Northeast with snow over the New Years weekend was still hanging on causing delays. For a while, as they circled the runway for the fourth time, Willa began to worry about making her shoot on time. Up until then it had been the last thing on her mind.

"Willa!"

She turned to the sound of her name being called out and found Spanky. It was only three am and she was surprised that she had to look through a crowd to try to find him. She wouldn't have thought that so many people would be out in the middle of the night, but it was New York after all. She wanted to get into the car and get to Connecticut before she decided that she needed to be home in bed rather than earning a pay check.

The shoot was for a new line of athletic clothing, which Willa had thought was stupid to shoot in the winter, but they were looking to release the line in early spring meaning that the shoot would be done in a studio. She wondered why the shoot had been taken out of the city, but Elena had just said that the photographer wanted it that way. She couldn't argue with the whole set up so she was prepared for her car ride out of the city.

"Willa!"

She turned at the sound of her name and saw Spanky standing off to the side of the waiting area. He had on a huge black winter coat and a scarf, and a wool hat another harsh reminder of the blizzard outside and the sunny weather that she'd left behind in Florida.

"Hey you," she said trying to force a smile on her face. She gave him a half hug while she gripped the handle of her suitcase for dear life. "How was your New Years?"

"Good," he said with a nodded and reached to take her bag from her. "I don't want to rush you or anything, but we need to hit the road. I'll tell you about New Years in the car."

Willa nodded and followed him out to the parking garage, pulling her heavy jacket tightly around her when they met with the frigid air just outside the doors. With the wind chill it must have been in the low teens outside, a far cry from the semi-summery weather that they'd been blessed with in Florida.

For a moment Willa regreted not getting out to the beach while she'd been down south. Billie had suggested, but she'd prefered to stay around the house. At the time, venturing out to the backyard seemed like a big enough adventure. Her breath caught in her throat for a moment when the icey air hit her lungs, but Spanky didn't leave her time to really recover or react to the weather. He seemed to be on a mission, marching across the crosswalk to the parking garage and Willa had to practically run to keep up with him.

A few moments later Spanky quickly got Willa settled in the front seat and her luggage settled in the back of the Ford Excursion then came around and got in the driver's side. Once inside he slammed the door shut and shivered. "I'll have the heater on in a minute."

"No trouble," she said. Her smile only faded when her teeth began to chatter. She figured that the car had gotten colder than he'd thought it would because he'd had to wait around longer than he'd thought for her flight to come in.

"Poor girl, I let you out of the city limits for a few days and you got all soft on me," Spanky said with a smile reaching to take her hands in his. He rubbed them together for a moment then let her go and started the engine.

"I'm not soft," she said continuing to rub her hands together to get them warm.

"Its freezing outside if you hadn't noticed."

His low rumble of a laugh filled the small area of the car. "So how was Billie's house?"

"Good," she said with a smile, "The partying was great, but I could have done without some of the people there."

There was a silence for a moment as Spanky pulled the car out of the parking spot and they made their way out to the road. "Billie called me and warned me about that."

She turned and stared at him with her eyes wide. "Warned you about what?"

Spanky flipped a few switches in the car and moved the vents so that the heat was pointed towards her. "He said that you two ran into Brennan and Amy at the party."

"I wish he wouldn't do that," she said with a sigh.

"Do what?"

"Be so over-protective." She rubbed her forehead and ran a hand through her hair, tucking it behind her ear. "I mean I was upset about seeing them, but really, I feel like a baby as it is with you hanging around." She looked out the window for a moment then realized that her comment must have sounded rude.

"No offense or anything."

"No, don't worry about it. I know what you mean. You're old enough to take care of yourself Willa, but believe me, the first time someone harasses you, I mean really harasses you, you'll be glad to have me around."

"I don't doubt that at all," she said, "Let's just hope it doesn't happen though. I'd rather not test that theory."

"Me neither."

"So how was your New Years?" She asked. She made a face. "Did you miss me?"

"Of course," she said with a sarcastic tone. "It was okay."

"Just okay? It was New Years in New York City, how can that be just okay?"

"I worked."

"Oh. Where?" Her face began to burn a little from the hot air being blown on it, but she didn't dare turn the vents away just yet.

"At Viacom Studios for two days."

"MTV?" She asked.

"Yeah, I had to guard some actress girl or something," he said with a sigh. "I hate Hollywood types. Dealing with music people is bad enough."

"Wasn't a good job?" She asked.

"The job was fine, I mean I got to hang out at the studios and see the ball drop in Times Square, but running around after this drunk girl wasn't something that I would consider enjoyable. She went to this huge party and kept disappearing on me."

Willa patted him on the shoulder. "Poor guy."

"At least I don't have to worry about you running away from me. You may not want me here, but at least you're not rebelling against the fact that I'm around."

Willa knew that she'd done it now. She hadn't meant to be rude in her comments concerning the security detail that was assigned to her. She just didn't think that she could ever get used to having someone assigned to follow her around. She was too independent for that. "I didn't mean to sound--"

"Don't worry about it Willa, really, I'm used to it," he said. He gave her a sympathetic look, as if he really knew how uncomfortable she was with having him being there to follow her around.

"Well I'm sorry that you had such a bad time for New Years."

"Thanks," he said. He steered them out of the maze of airport roads. "You'd better get a nap in before we get to your shoot or Elena is going to kill me."
A sigh escaped her lips as Willa tried to make herself more comfortable in her seat. The heater had already made the small space of the car bearable, but all she needed now was to recline a little and kick off her shoes so she could relax.

"She called you too?" Spanky nodded as he concentrated on the road.

Willa looked out of the window for a moment and thought about what her parents would say about this. They knew that her life had been thrown into overdrive now that she was connected to Billie, but she wasn't sure if they knew how complicated her life was becoming. One thing was sure. They would definitely approve of having someone look after her. She wouldn't think because of the safety issues that would come up, but just because she wasn't alone. That seemed to be their biggest fear for her when she moved away from Seattle.

"You know one of the reasons I decided to model was so that I could get away from my parents, but it looks like all I've gotten is more parents to look after me." Spanky threw her a smile as he paid a toll, letting in cold air as he rolled the window down.

When Willa's phone began to ring a smile formed on her face. It had only been a few hours and she was surprised to find that she was already missing Billie. She hadn't thought that they would get so close so quickly, but now that she was there without him she missed every little thing about the way that they acted together. A happy little laugh escaped her lips when saw that it was his number before she picked up. She didn't even say hello when she finally did click the "call" button.

"Calling to check up on me?" Her tone was accusing. She wanted him to know that he was in trouble for meddling in her business. She didn't mind him being concerned about her, but at the same time she wasn't used to someone being so involved like that. Brennan had been the long-distance type of worried boyfriend. If she didn't show up some place or didn't call he'd call her, but he never seemed to make an effort to check up on her if he figured that she was just running late or that her cell phone battery had run down.

Billie let out a laugh. "How'd you know?"

"Just a guess," she said looking at Spanky. Spanky made a face at her, warning her that she was in trouble for letting him know that he'd talked to her about the whole thing.

"You with Spanky?" He asked.

Willa shivered as she watched the snow coming down against the window. "Yeah. Thank you very much for telling him to be worried about me."

Spanky turned a little and reached into the back seat and pulled a blanket out for her, dropping it into her lap before he returned both hands to the steering wheel.

"Thanks," she said softly as she balanced her phone on her shoulder and unfolded the blanket, tucking the blanket up to her neck as if she couldn't get warm.

"I was worried," he said. There was a pause for a moment as if he was thinking.

"Shouldn't I be rewarded for that instead of punished?"

"Sure." Her sarcasm was hard to hide.

"I'm hurt," he said in a shocked voice.

"Sure you are," she said in a playful manner.

"I am," he said softly and faked a sniff to show that he was crying.

"Whatever," she said and rolled her eyes.

"Okay, enough joking," He let out a sigh. "How's the weather up there?"

"Horrible," she said, "It's dark and snowy and gross. It looks like something out of a Stephen King novel. My paycheck for this damn shoot better be big."

A laugh filled the phone line. "Well I'm glad to know that you're just in it for the money."

"I'd rather be in Florida. The visibility on the road is like two feet."

"Well that makes me feel better," he said with a laugh.

Willa watched the snow again. "What?"

"Well, I was worried about your flight not being able to land and now I'll be worrying that some accident is going to happen on the way to Connecticut."

"Bite your tongue Billie!" Willa said with a laugh. "I'll show you an accident when you reach the city limits."

"Whatever, Fred."

"You better go knock on some wood or something. God forbid we get in an accident."

"Okay, okay," he said, "I'm on my way to church right now."

"Sure you are," she laughed. Spanky looked over at her and she smiled at him.

"So when are you going to come up to visit?"

"The countdown is on. Only forty-eight hours," he said, "I'll call you and tell you the flight time."

"Okay," she said and listened to him. "I'll try to come with Spanky to the airport."

"You'd better."

There was a short pause.

"So what are you up to?" She asked, "Going to sleep soon?" She pictured him pacing the house with the phone balanced between his ear and neck. She figured he had the lights off in most of the house, maybe he had on the Christmas Tree lights on his room.

As if on cue, Willa could hear him yawn. "I have some paperwork to look over. New bands who want to join Adeline."

"Now?" She asked.

"Well I would have done it the other day, but I got..." Another yawn escaped his mouth. "...distracted."

Willa felt guilty for keeping him away from his work. She wanted to spend time with him, but didn't want to impose on his work. She hadn't expected him to drop everything because she was visiting, but it seemed, at the time, that he didn't have any other activities going on so she hadn't really left his side for most of the days that they spent together.

"Well I'll let you go," he said letting a yawn escape.

Willa yawned in reaction to his yawn. "Bored of me already?"

"Never," he said, "You sound tired yourself."

"I'm not," she said stubbornly. "Everyone yawns when someone else yawns in front of them."

"Oh," he said softly. "I should go though."

"Why are you running off?"

Billie let another yawn escape. "I'm tired," he said with a playful whine to his voice, "Someone kept me up late the last few nights. I think maybe I'll try and catch a few hours of sleep then try and get my homework done."

She blushed and looked over at Spanky. She was glad that he hadn't heard that. She wasn't exactly sure how close she should be getting to her assigned security, but talking about her sex life with him sitting there didn't seem to be the appropriate conversation to be having.

"That distraction wasn't all my fault."

"Sure it wasn't," he said, "You just happened to fall into your Christmas present, no planning or anything."

Willa laughed at that comment. He'd been the one who'd insisted that she wear the new garment, then he was trying to blame her for what happened in reaction to her wearing it, as if she should have a caution sign on her when she wore the stupid thing. "You were the one who bought it for me," she countered.

"Well next time we should pace ourselves."

Willa smiled and looked out the window rolling her eyes at his comment. "Sure honey, I'll remind you of that the next time we see each other."

"Shouldn't you be taking a nap or something?"

"Nice transition," she commented.

"Thank you," he said, "So are you going to take your nap?"

"I promised Elena that I would," she said.

"I'll let you go then." He yawned again. "Give me a call when you get home tonight, okay?"

"Sure thing." She yawned again in reaction to his yawn.

"Love you," he said.

"Love you too," she said.

They hung up their phones and Willa snuggled down into the covers that Spanky had provided her with. She spent the next few miles of stop and go traffic watching the lights of the other cars thinking of Billie and didn't realize that she'd fallen asleep until she heard Spanky telling her to wake up.

*****

"What an ass!"

"Language Willa," Spanky laughed. "Does your boyfriend know that you swear like a trucker?"

Willa nodded. "I haven't been that bad."

"That's the third ass in the last half hour and you've used the word fuck as a noun, verb, and an adjective."

"Thank you for the fucking grammar lesson." Her eyes rolled automatically with her sarcasm.

"Anytime," he gave her a salute with his free hand and pulled her bag up the steps with his other hand. "Why does everyone always have to live upstairs."

"For the view." She smiled sweetly. "You really don't have to walk me up here."
He nodded. "Yeah I do."

"Let me guess...Billie?"

"He's the boss."

"Fuck!"

"Fuck what?" He said.

"I could kick myself for not remembering the 'Who's The Boss?' theme song."

"Whatever girl."

"You have to admit though. That photographer was on something."

Spanky let out a laugh. "Yeah. Look at me Willa. Show me sweaty!" He puckered his lips and tried to look stuck up like the photographer she'd been working with all day.

Willa made a face and turned a little playfully in the hallway as they left the staircase to reach her door.

"Beautiful!"

"Thank you," she said and did a little curtsy when they reached the door.

"Come on you." He knocked into her a little playfully. "I'm sure your man has left you a million messages by now."

"It's not my fault that my cell phone battery ran down."

"I told you that I had a charger in the car, but as if I remember correctly you didn't want to use it."

"Okay dad!"

"No offense to your father," his voice was fairly low, "but I'm glad I'm not him."

"Sure you don't," she said and began to search for her keys.

When she finally got them out Spanky laughed at her trying to unlock the door. She missed three times before she got the key in, half from tiredness and half from laughing as he hurried her with little comments like "Come on Willa" and "hurry up I've got to pee."

Pushing the door open Willa looked back at Spanky and made a grand gesture of presenting her home to him. "Home Sweet Home!"

The shock that registered on Spanky's face when he looked in the door caused her to turn around to stare at what he was looking at.

"Kind of messy don't you think?" He asked.

Willa held her hand to her forehead as she let her eyes move from his face and return to the living room, carefully recording the scene in front of them. She scanned carefully from one end of the room to the other, taking it all in, the couch on its side, the table tipped over, and the strange paperwork, paperwork she didn't even know she owned, that littered the floor, while trying not to let out the scream that was building in her throat.

"Stay here." Spanky left her by the door with the luggage. She watched him check the place out, slowly moving around and checking behind all the different corners to see if anyone was there. It was kind of ridiculous, him sleuthing around the place like some 007 character.

"The door was locked Spanky. No one is in here." Her blunt remark echoed in the quiet room.

"So they unlocked the door, trashed the place, then locked up the door again?" He matched her sarcasm with some of his own and added some eye rolling for effect.

Willa looked around and helplessly sighed. "I don't know."

"I'm calling the cops," Spanky said finally.

Willa wasn't sure what kind of experience he had with this kind of thing, but from his reaction she got a little more scared. She had always hoped that in a situation like this, well not like this, but something serious like this, that he would be her rock and keep her safe. She didn't doubt that he could save her in a crowd or keep some of the nagging reports away, but this incident hit home, literally, and even he seemed to be upset by the event.

He reached for his phone and began to dial.

"NO!" She grabbed the phone out of his hands with both of hers. Despite his size he seemed to let her take the phone because it was clear that with his size that he could have kept her hands away from him.

"Willa, this place is...this place is trashed." He looked around with the same wide eyes that Willa knew were gracing her own face.

"Give me the phone." He waved his hand at her trying to get her to hand it over. She'd never heard him sound so serious about anything and she wasn't sure if it was that or the actual trashing of her place that got to her more.

"No," she said. She slid his phone into her pocket, patting it through the material just to make sure that it was secure. "Just...just help me clean up, please."

"Willa," he said in a very slow stream of words. "You need to call the cops. Its one thing to keep things from Billie, but you must file a police report."

"No." She moved across the room and began to restack a pile of magazines that she'd had on the coffee table. When they fell again after she'd stacked them tears came to her eyes. "It'll get in the newspaper and I don't want that."

Spanky sighed. "Its good to get things like this in the paper."

"NO!" Her tone was firm and she prayed that he would just obey her wishes and not cause her to cry. She hated crying and didn't want to start crying at the drop of a hat. She was a tough girl, or had been before she started dating Billie and she wanted to keep it that way.

"This is crazy," Spanky said walking towards where her phone was laying off the hook. "I'm calling Billie." He kept an eye on her as he reached to dial the number. "Maybe he can talk some sense into you. This is too serious for you to handle on your own. You need the cops involved."

"NO!" She grabbed the phone away from him before he could pick it up. "You ARE NOT, and I mean YOU ARE NOT going to tell him about this."

Her hands began to shake as she turned to put the phone back into its cradle. The tears that had been at the back of her eyes a few moments later began to collect at the edges of her eyes and when she blink they blinded her for a moment.

"Spanky I'm tired and I need a nap and right now I don't want to hear Billie lecturing me about how he thinks I need to get another one of you goons to follow me around." She stopped and stared at him. Her comment had been more than rude, but he seemed to not have noticed.

"Well if you don't call the police and you don't call Billie, you're going to let me stay here tonight." He went over and set the table upright. "I'm not letting you stay here alone. Billie would kill me if he found out that I did that."

Willa put a hand to her forehead. "I don't need this drama right now Spanky. I can take care of myself."

"In normal cases I'm sure that you can, but at the moment you need someone here." His tone was firm in its instructions, but at the same time sympathetic.

"Why don't you go and take a nap. I'll start getting this cleaned up and I'll make some calls."

She stared at him for a moment, with a half angry look crossing her face. "Calls?"

"No police. No Billie. I promise," he said crossing a hand over his heart as he swore his word to her. "All I'm going to do is call about getting a security system put in. You may not be taking this seriously, but I'm not going to stand by and watch something more than this happen to you."

Willa nodded finally. "Fine."

Her head was swimming and the fatigue of the last few weeks was definitely catching up with her now that she had a moment to stop and think about what really was going on in her life.

Her bed was calling her name and as soon as she got to her room she flopped onto the bed, fully clothed, and curled up with a pillow pressed to her chest. It was a poor substitute for a sleeping partner, after being with Billie for the last few nights, but she would have to settle for the pillow for a while.