Social Suicide

"Dahling!" Elena greeted her upon her entrance into the little cave known as Elena's desk. As usual things looked out of control, but Willa had the feeling that it was more creatively organized than unorganized. She'd never lost any of Willa's paper work and didn't think that she would start any time soon.

Willa looked around, saw the pile of papers and said, "Busy much lately sweetie?"

"Not like you miss rock star," Elena joked as the two women shared a hug.

"Yeah... sure... " She sighed and thought of how busy Billie had been that week. "I'm not the one who's been running around in circles all day long. That's Billie."

Elena smiled a wide smile. "And how is your boy?"

"He's fine." She could tell that she was blushing or something from the way Elena smiled knowingly at her, "He's at meetings all day so I came by to see you."

"He let you off your leash?"

"It isn't that bad. I've been working while he's been here. I don't see him except when we're sleeping."

"So you have been staying over there with him."

"That's not your business Elena," Willa said firmly, but could tell that she was blushing more from the way Elena chuckled.

"Where's the monster?" Elena asked standing up and looking over the edge of her cubicle.

Willa pushed her down into her seat. "He's not a monster. SPANKY is in the lobby reading a book."

"Okay first off I can't believe that he can read and second of all I still can't believe you travel with that guy."

"It's come in handy a few times actually," Willa said and perched herself on the edge of the desk.

"What? Does he carry your luggage for you or something?" Elena made an elephant noise. "I'm sure he makes a good pachyderm."

"Elena!" She covered her mouth as she tried not to picture Spanky with huge ears like Dumbo. "That's so bad. I don't know what I'd do without Spanky around. And he's not a pachyderm. He's a great guy who is trying to help me stay sane."
"Sane?" Elena said. "You lost that status when you started dating the celebrity."

"Billie isn't a celebrity. He's... "

Elena made a sour face. "Admit it. A million little kids love the boy. I'd call him a member of a boy band or whatever but I'm sure you'd rip my head off for that too."

Willa laughed then stopped when she noticed herself laughing. Other than the little time she'd spent with Billie that week she couldn't remember a time that she'd laughed. She'd been too tired from everything to even try to laugh, which was something considering they were staying with Tre and Mike.

Willa's phone rang in her pocket so she fished it out not bothering to look at the caller ID. She thought it would be Billie and no one else had been calling her that week so she didn't think twice about just answering.

"Hello."

"Hi honey, how are you holding up?"

"Mom?" she asked. It didn't quiet sound like her, but it wasn't Billie or anyone else who she thought would be asking.

"Willa it's Ollie, Billie's mom," the voice said.

"Oh," she said and the information seemed to seep through, "Oh. Hi. Did he call you or something?"

"You know my boy too well," Ollie said, "He wanted me to check up on you a little and see how you were. He and I had a conference call a while ago and he told me to tell you that he's going to be busy until you guys meet up at lunch."

"I can't believe he's making you be a message service," Willa said. Elena got a phone call so the two women sat and spoke to different people on the phone.

"I don't mind. I haven't seen you or heard from you in a while so I wanted to make sure that you were okay."

"I'm fine and actually this week has been good." She wondered if she knew that Billie had booked her in to stay at the hotel with the others. Sure they were dating and were close in that sense, but she wasn't sure how open Billie was with his parents about the more romantic parts of his life.

"I heard that you two have been putting up with some crazy reporters."

"Yeah, well we got thrown into this whole court thing...he told you didn't he? Anyway it's all way too complicated, if you ask me."

"Billie was saying you have a meeting today?"

"Yep," she said, "Hopefully we can get some of this stuff settled and move on with things."

Elena's call ended and the phone rang immediately again. "AMY YOU LITTLE!"

"Well honey it sounds like you are busy. I'll let you go. You know you can always come down and escape to good old Rodeo if you need to get away."

"Thanks Mrs. Armstrong," she said.

"No trouble honey." Willa hung up the phone and listened to Elena's conversation.

"No I'm not going to tell you how to get in touch with Willa. She doesn't really want to talk to you right now. The only people I'm allowed to let have her number are her friends and you AREN'T one of them. I'm surprised that you even would side with that ass BRENNAN!"

Willa stood back and watched Elena go into protective mode. There was no stopping her when she was fighting with someone. The noise must have been loud because people around them were looking over the cubicle and soon Spanky came to find her.

While the yelling continued Spanky spoke to her, "I thought someone was attacking you or something from the noise that she's making," he said with a laugh. Elena spattered out a string of swear words.

"Elena is just explaining to my 'friend' Amy there that she doesn't need to get a hold of me and shouldn't at all expect that I would want to get in touch with her."

"We should get out of here and get back to the hotel," Spanky said looking at his watch.

"Sounds good," she said.

Willa waved to Elena, mid yell, and put her hand up for Elena to call her later. Elena leaned over and kissed Willa's cheek then went back to her conversation.

*****

Willa found herself feeling very nervous as they approached the restaurant. Billie had met her upstairs after his latest morning meeting and they were making their way to eat with the escorts of Spanky and Wes and Billie's lawyer Mr. Grant Jacobs. The guys were on alert, like normal, but now it seemed as if Willa had taken on their attitude.

She was scanning the huge lobby like Spanky and Wes both were. She didn't know exactly what she was looking for. She just knew that she needed to keep an eye out. She wasn't at all comfortable being there and going to the meeting and she had a feeling as if this coincidence was too good to be true. She felt that this meeting was going to get them into more trouble instead of getting them out of trouble.

She looked over at Billie. Compared to him she was a complete mess. He was a pillar of strength. He had his shoulders back and was walking like he always walked. A normal smile graced his lips. That half smile with his eyes looking lazy as if he was completely relaxed. Completely secure with everything going on around him. She hated that. She squeezed his hand. If she was ever in need of a pep talk, it was now.

He turned to her slowly and looked at her as if was trying to make sure she really had wanted to get his attention. "Huh?"

"How come you don't look nervous?" she asked. She moved her hand so that their fingers were laced together; palm to palm. Somehow the action made her feel safer. She was standing with Wes and Spanky and him, but the touch of his hand did more for her than any bodyguards could do.

"Because I'm not," he said. He moved his arm and pulled her closer so that their shoulders touched as they made their way to the restaurant. "I know that this meeting is going to get rid of Brennan and Amy and that will be that."

"I hope so."

"You hope so?" He stopped and looked at her, "What's wrong?"

Spanky and Wes stopped and looked at the two of them with worried looks on their faces. The lobby was fairly crowded and the chance of being caught up in a fan frenzy was high considering that everyone knew that the guys were in the city.
"Nothing," she said with a sigh. She looked around the room just to make sure that no one was staring at them or anything. She'd felt eyes on her for most of that morning, even when she'd been alone.

"I just don't like the feeling of someone being out to destroy me." Her sarcasm faded after that and was replaced by a more whining tone, "I mean what did I ever do to deserve this." She felt her eyes tear up and Billie pulled her into a hug.

"Nothing is going to happen to you," He said, "If it comes down to you leaving New York or leaving your job or whatever, I'm not going to let it ruin you."

"Leaving New York?" she asked, "I don't want to leave New York. I like New York. I love New York!"

"Calm down," he said. Wes tapped him on the shoulder and they made the silent decision to head in the restaurant.

Once they were seated, with Wes and Spanky at a table close by, Billie looked at his watch, "We're a little early." Willa sat in her chair and stared at him angrily.

"What?" he asked.

She leaned towards him across the table and spoke in a low angry voice. "What? What was all that about me leaving New York and my job?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said. His eyes went wide for a moment as if he was surprised she was angry with him. "I just wanted... want... you to know that if it comes down to something extreme I'm going to be there for you and make sure that you have everything you need or could ever want. I just don't want you to be worrying about how this is going to affect your life."

"How can I not?" she said, "They've accused me of something horrible, thrown my name all over the place. How can I not have it effect me?"

"Fred, calm down. I thought the comment would make you feel better but I guess its just stressing you out." Billie dropped back in his seat and frowned.

Willa was about to lean over to explain her feelings to him when a girl who looked to be about fourteen rushed to the table. Wes got out of his seat and started to pull her away from the table.

"No," she said desperately looking at Billie. "I'm supposed to be here. My dad is late and I came to tell you."

"Wes, it's okay," Billie said, "It's Kenneth's daughter."

"Yep," she said with a smile, "I'm Jasmine."

"Well nice to meet you Jasmine," Willa said with a smile. She scooted over and the girl slid into the seat next to her.

Billie's eyes scanned the room quickly. "So where is your father?"

"He went to go meet up with his friend and got caught in traffic. I stayed here at the hotel so he called me and told me to come and tell you that he was going to be late."

"Well that was nice of you," Willa tried to focus on Jasmine and keep the rest of her worries away from the front of her brain.

Everything was going smoothly until Grant showed up at the table. Willa could tell that something was up due to the nervous state of the lawyer. When they'd parted ways only a few minutes before he'd been completely confident and not at all effected by the meeting, but now he looked like he was about to go to court of something. He leaned over and spoke into Billie's ear and he looked at Willa.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yep," Grant said softly. His eyes twitched and somehow Billie seemed to take some kind of hint from the action.

"Fred, you know what?" Billie began to slide out of his seat, "I forgot something in the room. Will you come with me?"

"Can't you go by yourself?" she asked.

"I forgot my phone and Grant said that my mother was trying to get a hold of me."

"You already talked to your mom today," she said. She looked at Jasmine who seemed to be perplexed by the whole situation.

"Willa." His voice shook with emotion now. "I need you to come with me upstairs." Willa watched his eyes. He looked worried so she waited until Jasmine moved out of the booth and Willa slid out and joined Billie as he slid out of the booth.

"We'll be back," Billie said, worry evident in his voice.

"What's going on?" she asked as she left Grant and Jasmine at the table and followed him, Spanky, and Wes across the lobby.

"I'll tell you upstairs," He said as they stepped into the elevator.

*****

"What was that all about?" she asked. She stopped herself from throwing a fit and pointed a hand out into the hallway as she followed him into the confines of their suite.

"Nothing," Billie said as if they were having a normal conversation and she hadn't asked him why he'd just practically run away from a meeting. She hated that he was so calm about all of this. It just made her even more jumpy about everything.

"Tell me," she demanded as he walked further into the room without looking back at her. She paused near the doorway and tried to keep her temper. She didn't want to fight with him. She needed him now more than she ever thought she would, but at the same time she needed to get some things out in the open.

She felt, at that moment, that he was being too overprotective with her. Most of the time that was a good thing, but today she needed to be a part of the action. She needed to know what was going on so that she felt like she'd be able to take care of herself on her own if something were to keep Billie from being there with her.

"The guy was going to scam us and the lawyer told me to disappear," he said. He took off his pager and his cell phone and placed them on the long table behind the couch then paused for a moment to read a piece of paper there before moving into the living room area.

"If I had taken the information the guy had for us it would have done more harm than good so I thought it would be best to disappear before the guy got there. The guy wasn't a lawyer and whatever information he had for the two of us, IF it were actual information, would have put us in the wrong. We would have been receiving stolen goods or whatever. The lawyer tried to explain it to me, but all I needed to hear was that it was stolen."

"What about that little girl?" she asked. She walked into the room and leaned against the table where Billie had left his pager and phone. She ran a finger over the numbers on the phone then looked up at him.

"Maybe he thought that we'd stay longer if she was there and it turns out he was right. I could see it in your eyes that you wanted to sit and talk with her. He would have used that against us I'm sure," He explained.

Willa turned away from him and stomped her foot. "When is this shit going to end?" she asked. She turned back around and wiped her face as tears began to fall. Billie had taken a seat on the couch in front of the television so she went and plopped down next to him. He gave her a sympathetic smile and hugged her close.

Trying to concentrate on something else, Willa's eyes went in search of the remote control. She hadn't seen it earlier; but then again, she wasn't really looking for it then either.

"I think it's not going to end for a while honey. I know that you want it to, and of course I want it to too, but this is a big deal. If Amy and Brennan can keep this up long enough the bad press will do some damage like they want it to. We just need to stay strong and make sure that we stick together on this one."

Willa's stomach jumped at the thought of sticking together with Billie. She hadn't thought about it until then, but she tried to picture herself with him in the future. When she was younger it seemed as if she always tried to picture herself growing old and gray with her boyfriends, but with Billie there was something different about him. She really could picture herself with him. She saw them sitting in Orlando as old folks chatting and talking, but at the same time she wasn't sure if she could sit back and wait for all the commotion to die down so that she could enjoy her later years.

"I don't feel good," she said and leaned against his shoulder. Her stomach growled and she leaned over a bit. She'd never had an ulcer, but she could feel the nervous energy eating away at her from the inside out.

"What's wrong Fred?" he asked.

"My stomach hurts and this whole thing is really starting to give me a headache." She stretched out then curled into a ball and snuggled closer to him.

Billie flipped on the television. "We don't have anything scheduled for an hour or so. Hang out for awhile and we'll see how things go. Once the guys get back we'll be busy again and then it'll be easier for you to keep your mind off of all this."

"Hmm," she said with droopy eyes. Willa nodded and moved her head into a more comfortable position on his shoulder to sleep. He lifted a hand up to her head and patted her hair then pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Try and relax Willa."

With one arm curled around her stomach and one arm curled around him, across his chest, she fell asleep still worried about the court case that was looming over them.

*****

"Elena, I need a favor," Willa said softly into the phone. She held the receiver of the phone with too hands. She'd been shaking ever since she'd left the other room and was now having a hard time getting the words out of her mouth that she wanted to say.

An explosion in the movie in the other room made a loud noise and she found herself jumping. She'd been on edge most of the afternoon and evening. When the guys had returned to the hotel for the night she had planned to hang out with them, but now, as they all were sucked into a movie, she found herself wanting to be alone.

"What was that?" Elena asked with a lazy tone. She seemed concerned, but not at all surprised to hear that something crazy was going on behind Willa.

"The guys are watching a movie in the other room... some beat them up and kick them in the balls or something kind of movie," Willa said in a whisper and looked around the bedroom. She let her eyes linger on the suitcases on the dresser and the bags on the floor.

It seemed perfect, her stuff lined up next to Billie's, all neat and orderly as if they were made to be together that way, but somehow today she'd gotten discouraged and felt that they would never fit together like other couples did. No matter how hard she tried she knew that there would always be something holding them back. Whether it be her career or his or the whole thing with Brennan or the press, something seemed to be keeping them apart.

"What's wrong honey?" Elena asked.

"I need to go shopping tomorrow, you know, get away from Billie for a bit, but I need you to go with me," she said. She picked at her fingernail a little as she tried to keep her nerve. She had to do this. She'd been feeling a little overwhelmed by everything the last few days and she needed an escape. In the old days she would go hide out with Amy, but now that her friendship with her was no longer something that she had to lean on she found herself dialing Elena instead.

"Why are you whispering?" she asked.

"Please Elena, don't ask," she said. Tears came to her eyes and she wondered again if she was right about her guess. Being over emotional usually wasn't something that she suffered from, but since the meeting that morning she'd found herself feeling a little more than emotional about stupid thing. "I'll explain it to you tomorrow. Can you meet me for lunch at the hotel?"

"Sure," Elena said, "How about noon?"

"Sounds good," Willa sighed.

"What are we going shopping for?" Elena asked, "I need to stop by and pick up some film I had developed and I need to shop for a new outfit for the summer kick off party."

"Summer kick off?" she asked, "It's still snowing outside you doof."

"I know," Elena said, "But I have to be prepared."

Willa heard her shuffling papers and wondered if Elena was still working. It was just after eight at night, but Elena had been known to work most of the evening from her home. Willa had caught her on more than a few occasions wheeling and dealing into the night.

"If it's lingerie I'm not the one to ask honey. Besides I feel kind of like your mother and I don't want to know what you are or aren't showing your man."

"No," Willa said and took a deep breath as her stomach flip-flopped for the twentieth time that hour. "I have to go to the drug store."

"I'm not buying you and your man condoms," Elena rambled off, "You're old enough to do that on your own. Didn't you ever hear that speech in school about abstinence being the best way to keep from getting--"

"No," Willa said with a whine, "I'm not buying condoms. Actually it's probably too late for those to be effective anyway." She turned and stared at the door praying that it wouldn't open and Billie wouldn't hear the conversation.

There was a pause in the conversation. "Are you saying that I think you're saying?" Elena asked.

"Yes," Willa said with a sigh. There was going to be no easy way around this. Elena wanted to hear the news and wasn't going to stop until she got what she wanted. "I need to go get a pregnancy test."

"What makes you think you need one? Other than the obvious." She chuckled. "Excuse me for asking this, but how is that guy in bed? I imagine that Tre and the other one, what's his name? Mike would be good, but Billie seems a little wild. And creepy."

"My sex life is just fine," Willa said with a smile thinking of the last few nights she'd spent with Billie. They didn't have sex every night, but Willa thought she got just as much joy out of just being there with him than anything else. "Thank you very much. I've felt sick since this morning and I've done all my tricks to get my stomach to settle and they aren't working so I figured I better do a check just in case."

Elena changed the tone of her voice into one of concern and half "I-told-you-so" tone. "Your mother is going to kill me you know?"

"My mother?" she asked, "Billie is going to kill me if he finds out about this."
There was a noise behind her and soon he appeared in the doorway.

"Hey," he said softly poking his head into the room. "I thought you might have gone to sleep so I came in to check on you."

"Nope," she said holding the phone away from her mouth, "I was just making plans to go shopping with Elena tomorrow. I would have called out there, but the movie was kind of loud."

"Oh," he said. He rubbed his forehead and spoke loudly, "Hey Elena."
Willa could hear Elena laugh.

"Are you going to come back out or are you going to go to bed?" he asked.
"I think I'm going to hit the sheets," she held up a hand up to him to pause their conversation then spoke into the phone, "Noon tomorrow and we'll go shopping, right Elena?"

"Sure," Elena said, "Give Billie kisses for me."

"Of course," Willa said then turned back to him after hanging up the phone. "Are you going to go to sleep?" she asked.

"I think so. The guys are out watching the movie, but I need a shower and some extra sleep. After tomorrow I've got to fly out to Colorado, then to Orlando for a few days then back to California then back to wherever the hell this court case is going to be held."

Willa rubbed the palm of her hand across the back of her neck. "I guess I'll go stay at the house again after tonight," she said.

Billie watched her. "You could come with me if you wanted to."

Willa wished that she could. She'd been thinking about it for a while now and she wondered if she should take it easy for a while and take the summer off to travel with him. She knew that it would be career suicide, but she almost wanted all the fame to go away. Only a part o her still remained that liked the life that she lived.

"No," she said, "I should stay here. I need to stay in New York for a while." She held her stomach and prayed that she was going to be okay. All of a sudden she felt light-headed.

"Are you still feeling sick?" he asked.

"A little," she said, "Ever since that meeting this morning my stomach has been in knots."

"Why don't you go jump in the hot tub downstairs?" he asked, "You look a little stressed out Fred."

"I would," She sighed and leaned back against the mattress, "but I just don't want to leave the room. I feel drained all of a sudden."

"Want to jump in the shower or even the tub with me?" he asked. He looked at her sideways, almost with a laugh connected to the comment.

Willa smiled at the thought of being there with him. She had taken showers with him before, but this one would be taken at a little more leisurely pace, "What about the other guys?"

"They can't fit in that tub. I think it's only made for two." He winked at her.

Willa blushed, "I meant what about them being here. I don't want them to be standing outside listening to us in the bathroom."

Billie put his hands up, "I was just going to shower. I don't know what you're going to do."

"You're too much," she said and got up and went over to him. She slid her arms around him, "What am I going to do with you?"

"Punish me?" he said with a low rumbling voice then covered his mouth and with a shocked voice responded to his own comment, "Did I say that out loud?"

"Yes you did my dear," she said and leaned in.

His arms slid nicely around her and pulled her close and for an instant she forgot everything. He was standing so close that she could easily lean and touch her lips to him, so instead of holding back, she let herself go and tried to remember what it was like before there was all the drama in their lives. She first kissed his chin then moved up and planted a big kiss on his lips before she leaned back, "I need a little distraction today and I think you may be able to help me with that."

"You mean I'm just a distraction now?" he asked sounding as if he was seriously hurt by her comment. If she didn't know better she would have thought that he was being serious, but she knew that he was probably just kidding.

"Of course not honey," she said. Her hand moved up to his cheek. "You need to shave," she said with a soft voice then moved her hands around to massage his neck. "You know what I mean. I know that you'll get my mind off of some of the other crap that has been going on and I have a feeling you need some distraction too."

"It's not your mind I was hoping to seduce," he said.

*****

"Tell me again why we're hiding this from Billie?" Elena asked. She touched Willa's back as they scanned the isle in the grocery store for the pregnancy test they'd come looking for.

"I'm not sure if I can tell him just like that." Willa was distracted by all the boxes on the shelves and didn't try to hide her nervousness. "After everything that has gone on, I still have a hard time just telling him things and this isn't just something you blurt out over dinner or say to someone before you go to sleep at night."

"He's leaving today isn't he?" Elena asked.

"No, tomorrow morning," she said, "He's going to be busy for the next month so its one of those now-or-never times for the two of us."

"What do you think he'll say?" she asked. Her tone was soft in the store as other patrons walked by.

"I don't know. I don't know." Willa faced Elena and tears welled up in her eyes.
Elena dug in her purse and retrieved a tissue for her. "Don't start falling apart on me now honey. You don't even know whether you are or you aren't yet."

"I know Elena." Willa wiped her face careful to leave her make up in place. If she was going to go back to the hotel and stay with Billie until the next morning when he left New York she was going to have to look at least half normal in front of him. "I can't explain it, but I know."

"Well, well, those little Armstrong spermies are really a lot more powerful that I would have thought. And I wasn't even sure that you and the guy were sleeping together."

"We were. We are," Willa said.

"Either way you know I'm here for you right?" Elena said. "I know the modeling thing may be messed up a little if you have a kid, but I'm sure you'll be a beautiful mother and hey; there are some good maternity magazines and fashion lines I'm sure you could work with."

Willa burst into tears. "I never even thought about that. I'm going to have to move back in with my parents. This is going to suck. My parents are going to kill me."

"Oh honey, you don't have to do that." Elena pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back. "I wasn't saying I'd leave you to deal with this on your own. I know I may just be your agent and all, but really. I think of you as one of my kids and I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

Spanky moved towards them and Willa looked at him. "Don't you dare tell Billie about this Spanky. It's one thing to tell him about the apartment getting trashed and everything, but you have to swear not to mention this to him."

"Yeah, you big goon!" Elena said.

"Goon?" he asked, "What about you miss thing?"

"Stop it," Willa said, "I don't need you two fighting."

"Fine Willa," he said softly, the look of concern still in his eyes.

*****

When the door opened Willa snatched up the tiny bag of things and slid them quickly behind her back. She didn't want him to find out the news about her condition by finding the box sitting on the counter. She had just gotten the news herself and was having a hard time processing it and she knew that she needed to figure out a good way to tell him the news.

"What are you hiding?" he asked trying to look around her to see what she seemed to be keeping from him.

"Nothing," she said and tried to counter his moves so that he wouldn't be able to see what she had.

Finally it seemed as if he'd given up. "How was your shopping trip with Elena?"

"Productive," she said.

"Did you get me anything?" he asked with a smile on his face.

"No." A laugh left her mouth. If only he knew what kind of present she was about to drop in his lap. She wasn't sure if he'd be so excited.

Billie moved his head again to see what was behind her and when she countered to hide it he finally stopped and looked at her. "Okay, I get it, you don't want me to see. I'll leave it alone."

"Let me go put this away okay?" she said. He nodded.

She went and stuffed the pregnancy test back into the small paper bag then stuffed it under some of her clothes that were still in her bag. "How was your day?" she asked.

"Better than yesterday," he called to her from the living room of the suite. "You want to go get some dinner with me?"

Willa took a deep breath. She knew that she needed to eat dinner, but she wasn't at all really hungry. Her stomach was not only nervous now, but the other part of her stomach problems could now be placed on the fact that she was definitely pregnant and could be experiencing morning sickness, although it was late in the evening and she still felt sick.

"Willa?" he asked coming back into the room.

Willa turned and looked at him with sad eyes. She didn't know what to do. She thought when she was little that news like this would be something to celebrate, but the reality of the situation wasn't what she'd expected.

"Fred, what's wrong?" he asked. He crossed the room and pulled her into his arms. "Brennan and Amy didn't bother you again today did they?"

"No," she said and leaned her head against his shoulder as he hugged her.

"I'm..." She took a breath and pressed herself against him knowing that she may lose him for good in a moment. She needed those last few moments with him before she prepared to let him go. "I got some news today...it could be good or it could be bad."

"What?" he asked, "Some new job in Europe that's going to keep you away for a few months."

"Well it's a new job," she said and pressed her cheek against him.

"Fred, honey, don't hide your face," he said, "Just tell me what's going on."

Willa leaned back, took a quick breath and spit out her news. "I'm pregnant."

Billie's eyes went wide and he stared at her. His arms fell from their places around her and he stepped back. "What?"

"It's all so blurry. I mean I thought that this would be a good thing then I thought it would be a bad thing. I don't know what to do and I don't know if--"

"Blurry?" he asked. He paced for a moment. "How long have you known?"

"Not long," she said.

"And you weren't going to tell me, were you?"

"I thought you'd be mad," she said.

"Of course I'm mad," he said. He walked towards the door, "My girlfriend is pregnant by another man. Why would I celebrate that."

"Wait, what?" she said, "I'm not--"

"Whatever Willa. Just leave it alone." He stared back at her for a moment then she saw him walk out of the room then heard the suite door slam.

Not really understanding what had just happened, Willa slid to the floor in a heap and began to cry. Only when Spanky came into the room did she pause her tears for a moment. "I don't know what I did wrong," she cried, "I thought it was going well then he just bugged out on me."

"Willa," Spanky began to pull her to her feet. He put his arms around her and hugged her, "Willa you need to focus honey. You're going to hyperventilate if you don't start breathing right."

"Focus?" she asked angrily and pushed away from him. "How can anything ever be in focus again? I just told the father of my baby that he's going to be a dad and he walked out on me. What do I do with that? What the hell do I do with that?"

Willa fell onto a heap on the bed and cried. "It's over," she mumbled, "This whole thing is over."

[ Orlando, FL ]

"So what else is on the list of crap I have to listen to?" Billie said with a smirk on his face. He busied himself by moving the latest pile of completed paperwork to his outbox so that he could file it later.

"Hey now," his sister said, "This is business. I know that you and your woman are on vacation, but the world still revolves when you go on hiatus."
"I know. I know." He sighed and sat back in his chair after turning up the volume on the speakerphone.

"So where is the little woman?"

Billie glanced out the window and saw his girlfriend of two months, Jackie Bowden, lying out in the sun next to the pool reading a book. He guessed that she was studying for her bar exams. She was in the process of becoming a lawyer and was currently on a break before her exams. "She's by the pool...where I should be." He looked down and tugged at his swim trunks and pulled on the collar of his T-shirt.

"What's she up to?" Anna asked.

"Nothing, studying I guess. Working on her tan. I don't know but I wish I was with her."

"I don't know if you wanting to be with her is a good thing for her or not. You're grumpy."

"I'm not grumpy. I'm tired, Anna. There is a distinct difference." He sighed. "I need to relax, not worry about the business. I thought I could trust that my family could take care of things for a few days without me."

"We can, but you're the CEO for God's sakes and a lot of this stuff is important."
"It doesn't matter whether I know about what dates this band plays this summer. Judy is in charge of scheduling--"

"Billie quit it. If you're in a bad mood then that's fine. Just don't take it out on me." The sound of shuffling papers came over the line. "I just have a few more things for you."

"Good." Billie was jumpy.

He'd already breezed through his morning status meeting with his sister and had been on the phone with Rob about the second leg of the tour, which was to start up in a few days. It had only taken him three hours, but he was already ready to call it quits for the day. On tour he worked more hours than that before breakfast, but he wasn't on tour for the moment and he needed the rest. He needed the time away. He needed time without work.

"Oh I almost forgot...Spanky's report came in."

A cold sweat broke out over his whole body at the mention of the man's name. He could kick himself for having that reaction, but there was still so much drama connected to the man that he couldn't help it.

"It's early. He never sends in his stuff in the middle of the month. What happened?" he asked then Billie sat up straighter and picked up the phone switching off the speakerphone. "What the hell happened? Is Willa alright?" His tone was forceful and demanding and he knew he really didn't have a right to act that way to his sister or anyone else for that matter. Now that he was dating again he should be focusing on the future and not the past, but he still felt like he needed to be her protector.

A soft chuckle filled the phone line. "For someone who swears that he isn't in love with her anymore it's really surprising to hear you so concerned. Does the new love of your life know that you feel this way?"

"Shut up okay?" Billie said. "Jackie knows about Willa, or at least the reason why Spanky still is on my payroll." He sat back in his chair. One hand gripped the phone to his ear and the other ran over his face. He wiped the sweat from his forehead onto the leg of his shorts before his freehand gripped the armrest of his office chair.

It had been almost six months and he'd really hadn't thought about her much, actually he'd tried to avoid her as much as possible, but he'd still had Spanky watching over her. It was something that he couldn't express to anyone, but he wanted her to be safe even if he did hate her at the moment. It was easier that way. They needed to be apart, like she'd told him all those months ago, but he still felt a connection between them.

"It's better this way."

"Talking to yourself again Billie-boy?"

Putting a hand to his head again Billie rocked his chair a little as his nerves began to get the best of him. "Just tell me the details," he asked with a sigh and tried to relax.

"She's moving to LA." The voice was as depressing sounding as the news as it delivered. "She's packing up this weekend and Elena is going to rent out her apartment."

"What?"

"She's going to have her kid soon and she wanted to get out of the city, according to Spanky."

"Three months still I thought. It's only July," he said. "Nothing is wrong with her is it?"

"No, she had offers from her parents to live in Seattle, but Elena got her hooked up with a job that will have her working out of her house for the next few months so she's moving out there."

"Really?" he said. He'd known that New York had been her home for a while now and he didn't think that she'd be leaving it so easily...even if Elena had gotten her a new job. "She's leaving New York?"

"I love it how you don't even really care about her, just that she's moving..."

"Shut up," he said, "I don't care about her and that kid and you know why." He let out a sigh.

It still broke his heart to hear about her. He'd gotten better about things, but the media and the world at large weren't helping the situation. The media had picked up on the story of her pregnancy after Brennan and Amy dropped the charges and hadn't let the story rest. He didn't even know that she was so popular, but it seemed as if there were almost weekly updates of her condition.

She'd gained the status of the likes of Madonna or Katherine Zeta-Jones in her pregnancy. He tried to turn the channel when the reports came on Entertainment Tonight or Access Hollywood, but it was hard not to hear about her these days.

He'd heard pieces of stories about the way that Brennan had come back into her life and how Amy had even helped her pick out some baby things after the court case had been thrown out. He didn't know really if what he'd heard had been true. He'd disappeared out of her life after that day in the hotel when she'd told him about the baby. He knew that he should have stuck around for an explanation, but he couldn't have done it without showing how much it hurt him to know about the pregnancy so he'd left and hadn't looked back. He'd spent that night in the suite that Kelly was staying in and had sent Wes to get his bags in the morning.

According to Wes, she and Spanky had disappeared back to her apartment early in the morning and there had been no effort on her part to get in touch with him so he'd left her alone. He'd called Spanky and had gotten assurances that he would stay on the job and would be paid through him. It had been asked about his quick retreat, but Billie just played off the question and had asked Spanky to check in with him monthly to let him know how things were going.

"I know that you're still upset about all that, but really Billie, don't take it out on me. I wasn't the one who got pregnant by some other man and I sure as hell wasn't the one who walked out on that pregnant woman."

"Great, you think I'm an ass too?"

"I don't want to argue with you about this. Do you want me to give him a call and get more details?"

"No," He said with a sigh, "Just get her new address and number when she moves in. I'll try and catch up with them when I'm in LA in November."

"Are you sure you don't want me to--"

"Just keep the address and stuff for me," he snapped.

"Fine," she said with a sigh. "Have fun with Jackie and don't get sun burnt and try to relax. We don't need for you to be having a panic attack or something."

"I'll relax. Tell everyone I'll call in a few days."

His sister's voice now sounded concerned and he hated that. He didn't want to worry his family about his personal life, but they had been through the month or so recovery that Billie had gone through after Willa had broken the news to him. He'd come home for a few days before the group had gone on vacation and both his parents and his sister had noticed the quiet change in him. He hadn't meant to sound so depressed, but he couldn't help it. He'd been heartbroken to hear her news.

"Have a good rest of your vacation."

"I will."

"Bye hon."

"Bye."

Billie clicked the phone off and leaned his head against the desktop. This was too much for someone in his aging stage to be dealing with, he was sure of that. He hadn't been feeling that bad; he'd been dealing with the tour and all the stresses of that, but now, after hearing the news of Willa's move and having that stress brought up again he was feeling way older than he should.

"Are you okay?"

Billie jumped at the sound of her voice behind him.

A feminine hand slid over his shoulder and he soon found himself being hugged from behind. He wove his hand around and rested his palm on her arm and gave her a squeeze to let her know that the hug was appreciated. "I'm fine."

"Bad meetings?" she asked. Her voice was soft in his ear and actually distracted him for a moment. What distracted him more was the kiss she placed on his cheek a moment later.

"You could say that," he said. He tried to keep himself from sighing, but it was nearly impossible after the morning he'd had. "I had some really crazy--well not crazy, but some interesting news--sent my way." Her head came up a little off where she'd been resting her chin on his shoulder.

"They aren't cutting your vacation short are they? I know that you love that manager of yours, but vacation is important."

"No," he said. He moved his chair around and pulled her into his lap. She sat sideways and wound an arm around him as he slipped his arms around her waist and kept her from falling off.

"Then what it is it hon?" she asked. She paused for a moment and leaned and kissed him then played with the tag on the back of his T-shirt, tucking it into his shirt before she smoothed out the material.

"I got a report from Spanky today," he said.

She looked confused for a moment then smiled, "Isn't that the bodyguard guy that is with that Willa friend of yours?"

He loved the way she seemed so calm about things. He'd explained the situation to her and she'd been calm about things. She admitted that she didn't truly understand why he was still protective of his ex-girlfriend, but she also said that she wasn't in the business and didn't understand the need for anyone to have a bodyguard in the first place. It seemed though that one thing was clear between the two of them. Willa's protection was more important than anything else was, especially now that she was six months along in her pregnancy.

"Yeah," he said and leaned his head against where her shoulder was near his face. "She's moving to LA."

"Isn't that dangerous?" she asked, "She's pretty pregnant now isn't she?"

"I'm sure it's fine."

"Then why do you seemed so stressed?" she asked. She leaned and put her forehead against his and smiled at him.

Billie paused for a moment and placed a kiss on her bare shoulder. "I'm planning a trip to visit her when the tour gets to LA next time."

"Oh," Jackie said taking a deep breath. Her tone had completely changed and he knew that even though she said she seemed to understand, it was now down to the wire and she wasn't as receptive to the idea as he thought she'd be.

"Her kid's going to be born by then and I thought that I'd go and check on her." He tried to keep his voice from shaking, but even the thought of standing in the same room with her again was something that was kind of frightening for him. He wasn't at all afraid of her, but he knew he was afraid about how things would go between them. He was mostly to blame for the bad ending and he wasn't sure how things would go once they got to see each other face to face again.

"Billie I know that you and I have talked about this, but are you sure that you should go and visit her?" Jackie asked turning so that she could look him in the eyes. Her stare was firm and cold, like it had been the first time he'd seen her in the club in Boston. She'd been trying to politely get rid of someone who'd been hitting on her at one of the parties he'd attended and it was that determined look in her eyes that had caused him to fall for her.

"I mean isn't that just more drama than you need right now?"

Billie smiled. She was always so rational and so practical and she knew that the stress of his job was something he didn't exactly welcome. "I'm only going for a visit--you know? A few hours with her--and it's not going to be until November. What are you worried about?"

"Nothing really, other than my boyfriend is going to visit another woman...it all seems perfectly logical to me." Her sarcastic remark was something that hurt him deeply. He knew that he was crazy for dating her and still being in touch with Willa. At the same time he felt a connection with Willa that he couldn't get over and it seemed as if nothing was going to keep them from being a part of each other's lives.

"You're thinking about her aren't you?" she asked. She pushed away from him and stood up.

"Jackie don't be like this," he said. His arms dropped onto his lap and he almost let out a groan at the action. He was tired and he needed a nap. "Willa is my friend, that's it. I haven't even spoken to her in six months! I told you all about what happened so why are you so surprised that I'd--"

Jackie turned back to him and glared at him. "So is this the deal with all the women who date you? Am I going to need a bodyguard after we break up?"

"No," Billie said. Jackie turned and started to walk out of the room.

"Jackie!" He called. She didn't turn around, but she did stop and it seemed as if she was listening to him.

"Jackie." He spoke softly as he stepped towards her and put his arms around her. "You don't have to worry about my past. For the moment I'm finding myself falling for you more and more each day. I know that Willa and I have history, but you're my future and I'm not going to let anything mess that up." He leaned and kissed her shoulder and when she didn't protest against the movement he trailed kisses up her shoulder and to her neck and ear where he knew he'd get at least a giggle out of her for tickling her.

Jackie turned in his arms and hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry I'm being such a girl. I don't mean to add to the stress level you already have."

"Honey," he said and reached to tuck her hair behind her ear. He looked into her eyes for a moment. "Nothing about you stresses me out. Okay?"

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Of." He kissed her lips softly, "Course." He kissed her again.

"You want to go get lunch with me?" she asked.

"Where are you going?"

"I thought I'd go to the grocery store and get some stuff to make sandwiches with. Want to ride along?"

"Ride along?" he asked, "What car are you taking?"

"Okay," she said with a smile, "Want to drive me?"

"Sure," he said.

"Let me go put on some shorts," she said.

"You can go in that," he immediately protested.

"Sure I can," she smiled and waved a finger at him, "What would your mother think?"

"I'd say she'd give you a ten and tell you not to cover up."

"Well I'll take her advice next time... as for now, I'm going to go get on my shorts and we can head out."

"I guess," he said with a frown.

He watched Jackie walk out of the room then moved over and pressed the button that would send his calls immediately to voicemail. He'd finished business for the day and if anyone needed to get a hold of him they could call his cell phone and he'd cut them off using caller ID if he didn't want to talk to them.