Social Suicide
Magic Kingdom
[ Magic Kingdom ]
"Here we are," the woman who'd met up with them at the front gate said as they got to the special roped off area where they'd be starting their morning off.
Billie looked around. "Are Tracy and her family here yet?"
"They're still having breakfast with the characters. They should be done just about the time you get done with the interviews."
Willa looked around. She'd know that there would be reporters there, but she hadn't expected something so formal. There was a stage set up with a tiny table, some chairs, and a microphone. She wondered what the day was going to be like. She'd never done anything like this before. The closest charity event she'd done was to model in a World Aids Day Fundraiser the year before.
"First up will be a quick question and answer session with the press. Then there will be a photo-call with just the two of you. When Tracy and her family get here there will be a second photo-call then the MTV people are here to get a quick interview with you. Also the Entertainment Tonight people want an interview. Both of those interviews were set up by Kelly."
"Then we get to go into the park?" Billie asked.
"Yes. You will be let loose in the park. You have VIP passes so you all won't have to wait in line for anything. It's not supposed to be that crowded today, but we have some of our staff that will go with you and your security team and make sure that you all have a good time."
The woman in the Disney World polo shirt with the Mickey Mouse eared security headphones was trying to explain their schedule to them, but Willa wasn't interested in it. They'd talked about expecting more than a few reporters to be interested in the story of them taking Tracy to the park, but it seemed as if all Willa could think of was waiting to talk to them at their small press conference. Even MTV had a reporter there to cover the event.
"You okay?"
Willa stared at the reporters waiting for them. She didn't want to talk to the press. She'd had enough phone calls come through for interviews that she didn't want to even think about talking anymore about her and Billie's so-called relationship. She wanted to just enjoy her time in Orlando and the strange and actually sweet mood that he was in.
"Willa, are you okay?"
Billie's voice finally filtered through her daze. Willa blinked and sucked in a breath of air.
"Uh, yeah." She held her head for a moment. "I forgot the bags for the girls."
"We can get someone to go to the house and get them and have them waiting for the girls when we go to dinner tonight."
Billie pulled out his phone and dialed a number and ten minutes later the plans were made. Willa didn't know exactly who would be bringing the bags for her, but the plans had been set which eased her mind a little.
"Now, are you okay?" She nodded stiffly and took another deep breath.
Billie leaned close to her. He placed his lips near her ear after kissing her cheek. "Just breathe in and out," he said softly, "It sounds complicated, but really it's just us hanging out."
She nodded and felt comforted when he slid his hand into hers. He gave her hand a squeeze then let go.
"If you're ready we'll get you two settled at the table then the questions will begin, if that's okay."
"Sure," Billie said and nudged Willa.
"Yeah, that sounds good," Willa said then looked around. "You wouldn't happen to have any water or anything would you?"
"There is a cooler up on the stage, feel free to take whatever drinks are in there."
"Thank you," Willa said.
"You ready?" Billie asked.
Willa looked around once more and with a shaky hand she went and fixed her hair again.
He looked at Loni and Wes for a moment then took Willa's hand and pulled her aside. He pulled her behind a little curtained off area and pulled her into a hug.
"Please tell me you are going to be okay."
Willa hugged Billie tightly for a moment. "It's not really all those people out there that are worrying me. Well they are, but they aren't."
"Then what's wrong?"
"I just hate lying to people," she said. "I'm not good at it."
"You've done well so far."
"I've been vague so far. That doesn't count."
"Sure it does," he said pulling back. He cupped her face in his hands and held her gaze for a moment before leaning and kissing her.
"Don't lie to them. Tell them that you and I are seeing each other and that it's still in the beginning stages and we don't know where it will lead."
Willa stared at him. "Okay, who are you and what did you do with the asshole that usually is in your place?"
"Just play along Willa," Billie said with a smile, "It won't hurt to just pretend for a day that we actually like each other."
The prediction that Wes had made in the airport was coming true in front of her eyes. Every time Billie opened his mouth that day he'd led her to believe that Wes was right. He might just be in love with her.
"Fine," she said.
"Now, if you get stuck just look at me and I'll take over. I know you haven't done very many press things so I'll try to take most of the questions, but they'll want to talk to you too." Willa nodded.
"You ready now?" he asked.
Somehow she did feel a little more at ease. At least, if nothing else, Billie was on her side. Normally that would have upset her, but with his expertise in handling the media she knew that she wasn't going to die when she got up on that stage.
A few moments later, as Billie helped Willa into her seat he finally took a look at the crowd. It was going to be a bit strange to take the lead with this interview, but he knew he'd be able to handle it. Most of the questions would be either about why he'd agreed to do the Make A Wish visit and the other half would be about him and Willa.
Billie took his seat next to Willa and scooted closer to her, resting a hand on her leg under the table where no one could see it. He thought for a moment that she might smack him or something, but he found her giving him a nervous smile and placing her hand on his before they turned to the media and said in unison, "Hello everyone."
"Let's get started," the host, the Disney woman from before said from her spot jut to the right of them.
A moment later, after a mad squirm from the media personnel to get a hand up in the air, a reporter was chosen.
The older man stood up and read off of a notebook. "Yes, my name is Trevor Mattson from the Orlando Sentinal. I wanted to know what drew you both to help Tracy get her wish."
"Well," Billie said. "I think that it is the kind of thing that is easy to do to make someone's day. I mean I give a few hours of my day to a girl who wants to meet me and she has those memories for a lifetime. It was a bit of work to get back to Orlando from the tour, but it seemed like nothing at all when you consider what Tracy has gone through in her life just to keep living."
"Next question," the Disney woman said quickly, and picked another reporter.
"Yes, my name is Sara Evens with People Magazine. Our readers have been very interested in the two of you lately. After all the publicity that has gone around, I wondered if this relationship you two have going isn't just for publicity."
Billie started to speak, but Willa cut him off.
"I don't know who you think you are, but if you doubt that Billie and I are together for more than just to get our names into the papers then you're crazy. Do you know how much work it takes to keep a relationship going? It's hard work, almost a second job to keep track of his schedule and my schedule--" Willa squeezed Billie's hand.
It was the sign that made him cut her off before her temper got out of hand.
"Look, I think what Willa wants to get across is that we're in a relationship because we love each other... " He noticed Willa's eyes go wide with that comment, but he didn't stop. "... we came here today together because Tracy asked the two of us to come together. We didn't plan this as a media stunt. We're glad that we get to be here and maybe bring some more media attention to the Make A Wish Foundation, but we're not here for us today. Tracy made a wish and we knew that we should do everything we could to grant that wish."
"Everyone I think we should stick to the topic at hand. We are here because of the Make A Wish Foundation and that should be the main focus. So unless your question has to do with that please save the questions for another time," the Disney woman said.
Billie could see that all they wanted to do was ask about him and Willa. He pushed his chair back and helped Willa up.
"We're out of here." He pulled her off the stage, luckily she came willingly.
"That Disney lady is going to come in here and yell at me I'm sure, but I didn't want to stay up there. It just takes away from--" Billie rambled as they made their way to the roped off area behind the tiny stage.
"Did you really mean that?" Willa asked when they were off the stage. Her breathing was rapid as if she'd just been running. She still couldn't believe what he'd said up there on stage.
"Mean what?" he asked, "The part about the media stunt?"
Willa took a deep breath and made eye contact with him. For a moment she thought he might be acting difficult on purpose, but she could tell from the look in his eyes that he was getting a big of a rush as she had gotten from leaving the stage without finishing the press interaction.
"No, the other part."
"What other part?" he asked.
"The part about us being--" She stared at him for a moment. It seemed like he had no clue about what she was talking about. "Oh never mind."
Billie shifted in his seat. "What did Wes say to you last night?"
"What does that have to do with anything?" she asked, "Why do you keep bringing that up?"
He leaned towards her and took her hand and held it. "Because I want to know why you are acting so strangely."
"Me acting strangely?" She drew her hand away from his hands. "What about you? All of a sudden you're full of compliments and you're kissing me whenever you seem to feel like it. What's that all about?"
"I'm trying to get through the day."
She got up and paced. "I never should have let things go this far. It seems like every time you open your mouth you're digging a hole for the two of us."
"What did you want me to say?" he asked, "That you and I are only together for the reasons the woman said? I don't think either of us are here today for those reasons that the woman out there was throwing out at--"
Willa started to talk when he paused to take in a breath of air. "What I understand is that you just totally lied to everyone out there when you said--"
"I didn't lie."
Her mouth came closed automatically and her eyes went wide when she saw the look on his face. He knew exactly what she'd been asking about a few moments before.
"You didn't lie about what?" she asked. Her heart was beating out of her chest now and she was feeling a little faint. He might just do the unthinkable. He might confirm what Wes had said the night before.
"I didn't lie about why we were here today."
"Oh," Willa said with a sigh. Her heart broke in half when she knew that he was clueless and that he didn't even remember what he'd said about her to the press. They weren't really in love and he had none of the feelings that Wes had told her about.
"At least I don't think I lied. It's helpful that both of us are stars, but I thought that you and I were here to make this little girl's dream come true, not to get our names in the paper."
Willa was going to say something to him, but she saw the Disney woman approaching. She held her breath and looked at Billie hoping they'd be able to explain their way out of the situation they'd just placed themselves in.
The woman gave them both a hard look then plastered a smile on her face.
"Mr. Armstrong, Miss Marviani, I'd like you to meet Tracy Underwood, her sister Jessica, and her parents, Phil and Stephanie."
"Nice to meet you," Billie said and shook everyone's hand.
Willa watched as little Tracy smiled up at Billie, holding his hand as Willa shook everyone's hands also. Tracy seemed a bit frail, but didn't really look very sick at all. It hadn't been explained what surgery that she would be having, but Willa wasn't sure if she wanted to know anyway.
"Well we have a quick photo session to do with you all. We just need everyone to pose on the couch and the photographers will come through and take some pictures."
Billie nodded and looked at Tracy. "You want to sit with me and Willa for a while before we go and play?" Tracy nodded shyly.
Willa turned to Jessica. "So I guess this means we get to hang out today."
"I'm so excited. I mean it's crazy and all that my sister is sick, but I think it's great--" Jessica started to say then she let her voice go quiet.
"Look, it's okay to be happy about this," Willa said and leaned towards her. "I mean that's what this is all about. Billie and I just want you all to have fun today."
Jessica nodded and hugged Willa.
"Can we get copies of the pictures?"
"Of course," Willa said. "Didn't you bring a camera with you today?"
"We weren't sure if we were aloud to so my mom said we shouldn't."
Willa looked around for a moment. "Hey Billie?" she asked. He was settling himself on the couch with Tracy next to him as her parents found places on the back of the couch.
"Yes, hon?" he asked with a smile.
Willa smiled back, not sure if it was playing or for real. "Do you have any money with you?"
Everyone around them burst into laughter, especially Loni and Wes, and Billie looked at her. "Why?"
"Jessica and I want to go get some disposible cameras."
Billie pushed himself up a little and pulled out some money. "Don't spend it all in one place."
Willa leaned over and kissed him as he looked up at her. It was going to catch him off guard, but she knew that it would seem appropriate for her to kiss him in that situation if things were real.
He grabbed her hand back while she was looking down at him. He smiled at her, a smile that she'd never seen from him before, then he leaned to kiss her again.
"We'll be right back," Willa said whipping her head up. She looked at Jessica, who didn't seem to be shocked at all.
Billie watched her leave then heard Tracy giggling at his side. "You kissed her!" He nodded. She kept giggling. "What's so funny?" he asked.
"You have lipstick on you!" She pointed and he wiped his face.
"Is it gone?" he asked.
She nodded then leaned out and wiped his face some more.
"Okay?" he asked. She nodded. "So what are we going to do today? What rides do you want to go on?"
"All of them," she said, "And I want to get those ear hats and I want to go and sing at the fake recording studios."
"I don't know about that," he said. He knew that he couldn't be recording things without permission. He could have his voice on tape speaking, but he couldn't sing. It was a sad thing to say, but it was the rules. He coughed for effect and made up an excuse which would be easier to explain than the rules.
"I have a little bit of a cold so maybe I shouldn't sing."
"But you kissed Willa!" Tracy said, "You're going to get her sick."
"I don't think she'll mind."
"Ewe! Gross!" Tracy said "I'm telling her you want to get her sick." Billie laughed and looked at Tracy's mother who seemed to be shocked by the whole conversation.
"Maybe we should talk about something else?"
Tracy nodded. "So where are the other guys?"
"Well they're all in California. Spending time with their family, most likely," Billie said, then remembered the things that he'd brought for her. "I brought you some t-shirts, but I think you'll get them later, maybe at lunch."
"Cool."
A few moments later Willa returned with a few cameras in her hand. She handed a camera to Billie and handed him the money back.
"You didn't need it?" he asked.
"She signed an autograph and took a picture with the guy at the counter and we got them for free!" Jessica said. "We need to hang out with you more often."
"Jessica!" her mother said with a shocked voice.
Willa laughed. "Those are just some of the perks that you get when you hang out with him," she said. Billie's eyes widened at the tone of her voice.
"Yeah," Willa said, "When we went to the VMA's I got to meet a lot of famous people."
"Really?" Tracy asked, "Like who?"
"Just about anybody you could think of."
"Wow!" Tracy said.
"Yeah, it's actually really a great party when you hang out with this guy," Willa said, "Like today. We're going to have a blast."
Billie was glad to see that sparkle in her eyes as she spoke about hanging out with him and was even more shocked when Willa took her seat next to him and leaned over and kissed him just before the reporters were let into the area. When she saw all the cameras she moved over and let Tracy sit between them with Jessica on the other side.
[ The Next Day ]
"So we don't get lost," Billie said as he took her hand the next morning as they walked into the airport.
The day before had been hectic and fun and the whole time they'd pretended to be a happy little couple. She'd come home that night to Billie's house and the pretending didn't stop, although she wasn't exactly sure why. They ended up falling asleep in front of the television watching 'Tommy boy'. Billie slept on the larger couch and she on the smaller couch and when they woke up that morning they even continued the playing. Somehow it seemed as if neither one of them wanted to let go of the happiness they'd found the day before.
"Good one Billie," Willa said with a smile, "Are you going to tell Tracy you've stolen her line?"
He curled his arm bringing her up closer to him. "It's not her line," he said leaning close to her, "I just want to make sure that we don't get separated from each other. We only have a little while until your flight leaves and I don't want you to get lost."
"Sure," she said, "Whatever, buddy."
Wes laughed from next to them and Willa watched Billie turn to him. "What's your problem?"
"Nothing," Wes said and winked at Willa.
They were buying it. Everyone was buying it, but she wasn't sure if the two of them could keep it up. She didn't know if it was true or was just playing, but she didn't want to ask and ruin the moment if it wasn't.
"Reporter six o'clock," Wes said in a hushed voice.
Billie pulled his hat down lower on his head and looked at Willa. "You okay?"
"Yeah," she nodded and went along with him to her gate. She'd be leaving at nine and he would be flying out at nine thirty-five so he was going to wait with her at the gate until he needed to leave.
"So Spanky is going to meet you at the gate and drive you home. He's going to be on call. He'll give you his pager number and I want you to use it. If you think that something isn't right call him and he'll come over and get you, alright?"
Willa nodded. "I don't like the idea of calling a grown man Spanky. Does he have a real name?"
Billie laughed a little. "Yeah. It's Billy. Short for William."
"Oh, like you?" she said
Billie looked at her. "No, not like me! My name is just... Billie. Billie Joe, that's it."
"Good." Willa flirted with him.
They made it to the gate and took a seat near the windows.
"So where do you go from here?"
"Back to San Diego for two days then we're going to be down in Rio De Janero for a week then we're taking off the month for Christmas Break."
"No traveling for a while?" she asked.
"We're going to be recording the new album. I think we're going to record some in New York. Maybe I'll stop by while I'm up there."
Willa couldn't believe her ears. He was actually suggesting that he'd come and see her. She knew that this was an important moment for the both of them especially since there weren't any reporters or cameras around. This was him actually telling her that he wanted to see her again.
"Sounds fine with me," she said, "If I'm in town. I have shoots all next month."
"What are you doing for Christmas?" he asked.
"Nothing," she said with a shrug. "I took that week off. I thought I'd fly out and see my parents for a while, but I don't know if I'll get out to Seattle this year."
"Seattle?" he asked.
"Yeah, my father and mother work at the University of Washington as professors."
Billie stopped and stared at her for a moment then kept walking. "Professors? And they let you get away and go to New York to model?"
Willa nodded. "Well I started modeling in Washington, then worked my way down to LA then came out this way."
"You've been in this business for a lot longer than I thought," he said.
"I've been working steadily since I was sixteen," she laughed a little. "I remember you guys way back then. I wanted to go to one of your shows, but my managers wouldn't let me. They thought I may break a bone, or something."
"When was that?" he asked. He suddenly seemed way too interested in her.
"Back in 1995."
"Wow," he said.
"Yeah, I did a shoot for a winter line and we were staying around where you were. I heard your stuff on the radio all the time," Willa smiled.
Wes nudged Billie and they looked around for a moment. They'd gotten caught in their conversation and hadn't noticed that the plane was about to board.
"You should get going Willa," Wes said with a smile to her.
Willa turned and hugged Billie. "Give me a call when you get to LA."
He nodded. "I won't be able to probably tonight because we're supposed to go to a movie premiere tonight, but I'll give you a ring in the morning."
She nodded again and for a moment felt like crying, as if this was all real and that she was going to miss him. But as he turned to her and held her hand she realized that she would miss him. Not the guy who'd she'd met at the party, not the guy who made her life a living hell, but the one in front of her who was pretending for the moment to be madly in love with her.
'Don't do this, Billie. Don't do this'
His head spun as they stared at each other that one last moment before she broke away from him and went towards the gate. Wes and Loni both waved, but he turned away after she entered the small walkway that would lead her to her seat.
"Come on, let's get out of here."
Wes turned to him and caught his arm. "Wait a second."
Billie turned around from where he'd started to walk away and saw her standing in the doorway watching him.
'Don't do this Billie. Don't do this. Don't you dare fall in love with her. It's not part of the plan. It's not and don't even think about making it part of the plan.'
Billie was about to walk over to her, but she stopped him with a wave. She pointed to her eye, then her heart, then to him.
Not knowing exactly what to do, Billie smiled and repeated the action back to her, then turned and stalked away from the gate without a word to Loni or Wes. They had to practically run to catch up with him. He was almost to the gate when his phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Billie?"
Billie thought for a moment. It wasn't Willa and it wasn't his mother or anyone else from back home. "Kelly?"
"Yeah," she said in a somber tone.
"Kelly, what's wrong?" Billie's mind began to run quickly as he waited for an answer. She usually wasn't the type of person to get upset and if things were wrong they were usually big things.
"Billie, I have some bad news," she said.
"Is it my Mom?"
"No honey. It's Tracy," She said.
"What?"
"Her mother called me a minute ago to get a message to you."
"And?"
"She died this morning."
Billie dropped the phone and turned around to face the direction he'd just come in.
"What's wrong Billie?"
"I have to stop her."
"Stop what?" Loni asked.
Wes picked up the phone and began to try to figure out what was going on with Kelly, that was until Billie took off for the gate they'd just been at.
Pushing past people and knocking over a rack of advertisement pamphlets for the Orlando tourist scene, he wound his way back to the gate, just in time to see the plane pulling back from the gate.
"You have to stop that flight!" he said running up to the counter.
The woman standing there looked alarmed by his actions and some passengers began to stare at him. "Excuse me?"
"I have to talk to someone... " He took some deep breaths trying to catch his breath. "I have to talk to someone on that flight. It's really important."
"I'm sorry sir," the woman said.
"Look," he said and held his breath for a moment. "My girlfriend is on that flight and one of our friends died this morning and she doesn't know about it."
The woman gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm sure that this is all--"
"Never mind," Billie said looking at her. Somehow he knew that she wasn't going to help him. "Just tell me when the next flight to JFK airport is."
The woman looked at her computer screen for a moment. "The next one leaves at eleven"
Billie flung his backpack onto the counter and pulled out his ticket. "I need to trade this ticket for one to JFK. Do whatever you have to do. If you bump someone off the flight I'll pay for them to stay in Orlando for the night. I just need a seat on that flight."
Wes and Loni finally joined him at the counter and a few moments later Billie had a ticket to JFK instead of LAX.
"I can't let you do this." Wes's urgency about the situation was giving Billie a headache. He was just trying to protect him, but he was tired of feeling like a shut-in. He was thirty-three years old and far past the point in his life where he should be listening to people like Wes telling him what to do. His mother could tell him to dig a hole to China and he'd do it, but Wes wasn't supposed to be acting as his parent anymore.
"I have to," Billie replied urgently slipping away from his grasp to head to the gate. He saw that Wes had his phone and went over and grabbed it from him then began walking again.
He dialed the number quickly and waited until someone picked up.
"Spanky?" he asked in a rushed voice.
"Yeah?"
"It's Billie." He looked around for a moment. Wes and Loni were both watching him, but he didn't care. He figured they were trying to hatch a plan to keep him in Orlando and away from getting on his flight to JFK. He needed to get this call made and he needed to get to New York. "I need you to do me a favor."
"Other than going to pick up your woman from the airport?" the guy asked with a laugh.
Billie didn't find humor in his comment. "Yeah, I want you to stay with her in the airport until I get there."
"Get HERE?"
"It's a long story, but I have to tell Willa something important and I need to make sure that you keep her in the airport until I get there."
"You aren't going to propose to her or something are you?" Spanky asked.
"No, nothing like that. It's bad news actually," Billie said, "The girl we visited down here in Orlando died this morning."
"Oh no," Spanky said letting out his breath fully.
"Look just don't tell her okay? I need to tell her myself and I want to do it as soon as I get to New York."
"Fine," Spanky said, "I'll keep her in the VIP lounge."
"Thanks a lot Spanky. I should be there by three," He said and hung up the phone.
"I'm not letting you fly to New York by yourself Billie. That's like suicide. If someone finds out about you being on that flight there could be a crowd waiting for you and then you'll--"
"Whatever," He said. "Spanky is going to get me when I get to New York. I'll be coming back to San Diego on the first flight I can get out of New York in the morning."
"You're going to die for this one you know," Wes said. Loni nodded from behind him.
"Just tell them that I had stuff to do," he said. "I'll call everyone when I get to New York."
"Billie, I'm warning you."
"Look Wes, I know that you are concerned and believe me I hear you, but if I don't do this and Willa hears about Tracy I know it's going to be bad. If I'm ever going to get through to her that I--" He cut off and stared at Wes. "Never mind. I just have to be there for her."
Wes sighed. "Fine, you call me every hour on the hour and I want to hear from you as soon as you get to New York. I'm going to call Spanky and tell him to meet you at the gate. I'm not letting you roam around the airport alone. I don't care if no one knows you're going to be there. It's dangerous."
[ JFK Airport]
"Hello there Miss Marviani," a deep voice said.
Willa looked up to see a thug-looking man coming towards her.
'This was Spanky. Of course he's the biggest black guy in the room who looks more like he's going to mug someone than protect them.' She hated that she sounded a bit prejudice about the guy, but it did seem strange that all the security guys she'd seen at the VMA's had looked more like street thugs than professionals.
"Spanky?" she asked.
"Yes ma'am," he said with a laugh.
Willa smiled and stuck out her hand. "Nice to meet you."
"Same here," he said and shook her hand.
"I wasn't sure if you were going to be here."
"Well I'm here and I have some bad news," Spanky said.
"What's that?" she asked.
"Well," he said and took her bag. "Billie is on his way to New York and he wants you to stay in the airport until he comes to get you."
"He's coming to New York?" she asked. Her heart rate accelerated. She'd wished and prayed that he would come after her. She'd known that her "I love you" would get to him.
"Yeah," Spanky said. "He should be here by three o'clock. We're supposed to wait for him."
Willa nodded and followed where Spanky led. She wasn't sure if this was all legit, but she knew she should stick around and see if he was really going to come for her.
When they got to the VIP lounge they found a table and Spanky took a seat next to her. They ordered lunch and Willa got out her phone and dialed Amy's number.
"Hey you," she said a moment later.
"Where are you chica?" Amy asked excitedly.
"Well I'm in the airport in New York," she said.
"Are you leaving or coming back?"
"I'm coming back from being in Orlando. I told you I was going down there."
"I just thought you might be going to work again."
"Nope," Willa said with a smile. "I'm waiting her for Billie."
"For him?" she asked. "I thought those guys were supposed to be on the West Coast."
"Well they were, but Billie was with me in Orlando and then all of a sudden I get this message that says that he's going to meet me in the airport here around three o'clock and that I need to wait for him."
"Well where are you?"
"The VIP lounge near the United gates."
"I'm going to come out and hang out with you girl. You shouldn't have to wait for his dumb-ass alone." Amy paused for a moment. "Do you know why he's making you wait?"
"No," Willa said, "He just sent a message that says I have to wait for him here. I would guess that it's important or he wouldn't make me wait."
Amy didn't speak again right away. Willa could hear her walking around and figured she was looking for her keys or purse or something.
"Oh no."
"What?" Willa asked.
"You actually like this guy again, don't you?"
Willa smiled. "We had a great time yesterday. And we met the sweetest little girl. She's the best little kid I've ever met. I think she was playing match maker yesterday and well it sort of worked."
"Willa no," Amy said with a groan. "This is going to end badly. You said yourself that he's an asshole."
"Well that was before," she said.
"Before what?" Amy asked. "Before he grabbed you in the hotel? Before he announced on National Television that you were dating or before he dragged you to Orlando because he needed you to be there?"
"I went to Orlando because I wanted to do the charity thing."
"Honey, this guy's ruined your life. I talked to Elena yesterday when I was in the office. How could you turn down that shoot with Todd to go to Orlando to see HIM?"
"I turned down the shoot because I had already accepted the invitation to the Make A Wish people."
"INVITATION? Invitation my ASS!" Amy said angrily. "If you hadn't gone down to Orlando everyone would have said that you were a heartless person. And that's Billie's fault! He's totally taken control of not only your social life, but your work life to. I thought I'd never see that happen."
"Look," Willa said with a sigh. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I know that I've said a lot of things in the past about him, but I've changed my mind. You'll have to meet him to make your own judgements."
"Well I'm going to meet the jerk today. I'll be out to the airport in about an hour."
"Fine," Willa said and clicked off her phone.
Spanky was watching her with a frown on his face.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Nothing," he said and looked away. "Just love to hear that someone isn't blowing sunshine up Billie's ass."
"That's one thing I've never done," she said with a smile.
"He needs that sometimes," Spanky said.
"You and Wes both keep saying that."
"It's the truth. If this guy is coming up to New York to meet you there is definitely something behind that."
[ Three Hours Later ]
It was all happening in slow motion. It was that "Dream-Weaver" Wayne's World sort of hazy vision that makes everything and everyone in your vision seemed perfect, almost too perfect.
Willa had seen things like this happen to people in the movies. That moment in the movie where the main character finally gets to find out that the leading man is in love with her. Willa felt it, but had never gotten as nervous watching a movie scene as she was right then. This was the real thing.
He was here.
In New York.
For her.
She caught site of him when he entered the restaurant. He was alone and for the first time she saw some vulnerability on his part. He seemed a little nervous and kept looking around as if someone was going to go and jump out at him since the security crew wasn't with him.
As he approached her, the only sound she could hear was the beating of her heat. It filled her ears and almost got to the point of being annoying, but there were other things to think about so she tuned it out and tried to pay attention. She wanted to remember everything about this moment. The only things she could see were the smile on his face and that twinkle in his eyes that was undeniable. It was love. Nothing else seemed to matter.
"I'm glad I caught you," he said almost breathlessly as if he'd been in a hurry to find her. He pulled her into his arms, fitting her close to him as if she belonged there permanently. It felt good to be in his arms, although she was a little anxious to know why he'd traded his flight out west for one going north.
"I have something to tell you."
She leaned back and her heart seemed to pause as if it was waiting to stop forever if he said the wrong thing.
"What?" she asked with a smile. She leaned against him and hugged him again.
She caught sight of Amy's face and could tell that something wasn't right. When she turned and saw that he wasn't smiling she let her face relax. "What do you need to tell me?"
"Sit down," he said and walked with her around to the booth where she, Amy, and Spanky had been for the last hour.
Amy had arrived as she'd promised and they'd spent their time together discussing the pros and cons of her future relationship with Billie.
[ Flashback of Conversation with Amy ]
"He's not an asshole anymore," she stated when Amy started in with her critique of Billie. Amy had the right to bash him, since she'd been doing the same thing for weeks now, but something had changed in her and she suddenly felt like she needed to defend him since he couldn't defend himself at the moment.
"I don't know what happened... " She really couldn't help but to wonder if he really had been pretending or if it had all been real. She wanted it to be real so badly that she prayed that it really would be. "It's not the same anymore."
"He was nice to you for about twelve hours!" Amy made a face and threw her hands in the air in frustration. "Granted that's got to be a record from him, but it's nothing special! Guys aren't supposed to treat girls like he's treated you. He's practically ruined your life. It was career suicide to get involved with them."
"What are you talking about?" she asked. "I've gotten a lot of work because of him. A lot of work that I wouldn't have gotten without the extra publicity."
"Well I hope that it's worth it," Amy said, "No woman should have to go through all the shit that he's done to you... "
She sighed and sipped her drink then checked the clock, praying that his flight would get there earlier. She needed to prove, not only to Amy, but to herself, that he wasn't the jerk that she'd been fighting for the past few months. He had to have changed. She never would have thought that he would fly to New York just to tell her something if it wasn't something important and if he really cared about her.
"He's really not that bad."
"Well then the next time he grabs you and yells at you don't come looking for my sympathy."
"I won't."
[ Present ]
"Oh," she said and looked around for a moment. "This is Amy."
She felt strange for a moment wondering about the big news he needed to share with her. Spanky had said it was something huge and her curiosity was getting to her. She wanted it to be him telling her that things were going to be ok between them. He'd hinted about it in the airport in Orlando, but she wanted some promises. Promises not for time or for space for them, but just the idea that he was thinking of her as much as she was thinking of him.
Billie spoke to Amy for a moment. She was glad to hear Amy actually being civil to him as everyone settled into their seats at the table.
"I have some news... "
"I know. Spanky told me."
"Spanky told you what?" he said suddenly.
"Told me that you needed to talk to me."
"Oh." He took a breath. "I don't know how to say this."
"Say it," she encouraged him.
He leaned towards her and kissed her softly.
She pulled back. "Please tell me."
He leaned and kissed her again. He made eye contact with her and began to open his mouth to speak, then stopped again.
"Just say it!" Willa said with a smile when he seemed to pause.
Billie took her hand and squeezed it as he spoke; "Tracy's dead."
Willa could feel her heart stop in her chest. Her mind raced with crazy thoughts. She wanted him to repeat his news. He hadn't said the right thing. He hadn't. She at first didn't even realize what he had said because her ears were still ringing with the thought that he hadn't said "I love you." The blood drained from every appendage. Her hands went numb and her toes began to tingle and for an instant she saw black. Her smile faded and her breath caught in her throat.
"What?" she finally choked out.
"Her mother called and said that she died this morning," Billie explained. There was a pained look on his face.
She wasn't sure how to take it all in. She'd been expecting good news and what she'd gotten had taken the floor out from under her. This was so not what she wanted to be hearing right now. She'd run the whole thing through her mind over and over while she'd been waiting and this wasn't how it was supposed to be going.
"No." Willa let go of his hand and looked around. This wasn't a joke. No one was kidding around and certainly no one was laughing. "No."
"Willa?" Billie's concern was evident to her, but she tried to ignore it.
"No!" she said loudly. She got up from her seat and began to collect her things. When she had everything she pushed past Billie, who'd gotten up and was trying to block her exit.
"Willa?" He called to her as she started to walk away. When she didn't stop he called to her again then he maneuvered around her and came between her and the door.
"Willa, wait!"
"Why are you doing this to me?" she asked pushing at him when he wouldn't move. "Do you enjoy seeing the tears? Is that your sick obsession?"
"What?" he asked.
"This is probably some sick thing you like to do. I guess the last day or so we had together went too well. I expected you to ruin it, but this really takes the cake!"
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
"I'm talking about the fact that every word out of your mouth is a lie!" She watched the words sink in. She'd hurt him with that one, but she didn't find herself enjoying the feeling. Not that she enjoyed fighting with him, but at least before she would have at least gotten some sort of satisfaction out of seeing him as confused or hurt, the way she'd been so often.
"Why should I believe this?"
She pushed again and stalked out of the VIP lounge and found herself outside a few moments later trying to hail a cab, although she didn't remember exactly how she'd gotten there.
[ One Hour Later ]
Billie reached and knocked on the door. He held his breath and listened for a moment. He could hear music, but he wasn't sure if it was coming from her apartment or if it was just the television on behind her door.
Though Billie had run after Willa in the airport, she'd given him the slip and had gotten into a cab before he could stop her. Desperately trying to hold onto the last day of happiness he found himself grabbing Amy and shoving her and Spanky into the car and yelling at Spanky to get them to Willa's as quickly as he could.
So there he was at her door staring at the slightly beaten number hanging on the door, praying that when Willa answered she'd invite him in instead of leaving him to fend for himself in the city.
The door cracked open and Willa looked out at him from behind the door. Her eyes were puffy and her makeup was messy. She looked like she was in pain and he wanted to help her. He needed to help her. If he didn't he felt like he would regret it for the rest of his life.
"What do you want?" she asked.
"Can I come in?"
"Why? So you can gloat?" she asked.
"Willa! Damn it let me in!" he said forcefully.
The door closed and for a moment Billie tried to think of how he could get across town to the Ritz without being noticed. He turned away from the door, picked up his bag and stood there for a moment trying to think of what to do next. He wasn't going to give up, but he thought he might need to regroup a bit before he tried again to talk to her.
"Billie?" He turned to find the door open and Willa leaning against it looking at him.
"I'm sorry," He said softly as he was let into the apartment. She placed a finger to his lips and kept it there as he moved out of the way of the door so that she could close the door.
"I want to say something to you before you start giving me excuses."
"Excuses?" he asked.
"Just listen to me," she said. She took his bag from him and set it on the floor then walked into the studio apartment's living room and plopped down on the couch.
That's when Billie finally heard the music she had on the radio. "What song is this?" he asked.
"The Last Unbroken Heart," she said.
"Hello Eighties." Billie thought that the comment might lighten the mood, but saw the look on her face and figured that he'd better sit down.
"Can you be serious for a moment?"
He nodded instead of answering.
"Now," she said and turned to him. "I've wanted to say this to you for months now and I haven't been able to because whatever has come up, but today was the kicker. I don't even know if you weren't there this afternoon, but your news wasn't exactly what I thought I was going to be hearing from you."
"I know. It shocked me too."
"I'm upset about Tracy's death. It's hard enough to deal with that, but it's even more disappointing that Tracy saw in the two of us something that you can't seem to get through your head or if you have let it get through to you, you must keep pushing it away."
"What are you talking about?"
"What am I talking about?" She jumped up and began to pace. "I'm talking about the last forty eight hours and how you've been completely overprotective over me, you've kissed me, and you've acted like you were in love with me. Hell you tell the press that we're in love, but I'm not sure where I stand with you. Hell, I don't think I've ever known!"
"This is about where you stand with me?" he asked with a blank stare in her direction.
"Yes!" she said. "You treat me like an employee and just when I thought that we might be friends or even more you throw something at me that kills me." Tears formed in her eyes. "You got up there and threw out at the press this whole protective thing, that you weren't going to stand by and let them talk about the two of us like they had been, then you act like the words that you said to the press have no real meaning."
"You're confusing me," he said and shook his head.
"Well welcome to my world Billie! I LOVE YOU, and as much as I want things to work out with you, I'm at the end of my rope with waiting around for you to tell me anything about the way you feel for me."
Billie stared. He was in trouble now. He knew this was going to happen and he didn't want it to. He wanted love, eventually, but after the hassle that it had brought to him in the past, this wasn't exactly a joyous occasion
"See, that's what I mean. You just sit there and stare at me."
"Willa, you don't understand. You knew that this was a business proposition. I never said that--"
"I know that's not all that all it has been for you. I know that!"
Billie covered his face. "Oh my god!" He breathed the words out and leaned back.
Willa paced again.
"Sit down Willa," He said, "I have something to tell you."
Willa threw her arms up in the air. "As if my day wasn't completely a loss already. More bad news, I'm sure."
Billie glared at her for a moment. "Sit down. I let you yell at me and now it's my turn to say my piece." Willa flopped down on the couch and stared at him.
"I should have explained this to you in the beginning. I never wanted a relationship. That wasn't the plan at all. I don't want to get into it, but basically I got burned last year from a girl and although I would have loved to leave the serious social scene alone, everyone around me told me I needed to get out. I needed a date, not a romance. I thought you understood that."
"I... " She began to speak and he watched her start to cry. "I hate you."
"See that's your trouble. You can't make up your mind. You love me? You hate me? This is ridiculous."
"Ridiculous is you not answering me!"
Billie watched her. "What was the question?"
Willa groaned. "This is hopeless."
"Willa calm down," He said with a laugh. "You act like all of this has to be perfect. Nothing in life is like that. You of all people should know that."
Willa curled her legs up to her chest and buried her head in her arms.
Billie could see how upset she was and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get himself to just leave her alone. He had a feeling that's what she wanted, but there was a part of him that couldn't do it. He'd miss her too much. Even though he knew it was dangerous to keep her too close to her, he knew he didn't want her too far away either.
"I can't do this anymore Billie. I think we need to not see each other. This is too much drama."
"But... "
"No buts. I know that you don't have a place to stay for the night. You're welcome to use the couch, but after tomorrow I don't want to see you or hear from you for a while. I leave for Europe in two days and I don't think--"
"I get the picture," he finally said. He was tired and needed some sleep, but he also needed some time to think about all this. "I'm going to go out for a while. I'll be back." He pushed himself up.
"Wait," she said. She got up and walked over to the table near the door, grabbed her keys and took a key off the ring. "In case I'm not here when you get back."
Billie took the key and left the apartment. He knew that he shouldn't, but he found himself on the street a moment later with no where to go, but at the same time it was almost a relief. He never got to just hang out in the city. He was always there on business. He pulled his jacket up around him and reached for his phone. He had two calls to make.
"Hey Rob," he said a moment before.
"I heard about what happened with that little girl. How are you holding up?"
"I'm good. It's really sad about her dying. It's rough to know that I saw that little girl yesterday and now she's gone."
"How's Willa doing?"
"There's just drama going on," he said. "Not just the whole Tracy thing. I think we're going to break things off."
"That's too bad," Rob said. "Are you in New York?"
"Yeah," he said.
"Is Spanky there?"
Billie looked around for a moment then lied. "Yeah. No one knows that I'm here. I have a feeling I won't even need him."
"I could kill you for not taking Wes or Loni with you, but since it was an unexpected trip--"
"Thanks," Billie said. "Look, I've got to run. I'll talk to you later. Will you tell Wes that I'm okay? The guy was on my back today to call him. Like I'm a kindergartener, or something."
"Sure, I'll tell him."
"I'll see you guys tomorrow. Wes has my flight information."
"Ok," Rob said.
When Billie was done with that call he dialed home. He needed some motherly advice about the situation. If anyone would know what to do, his mom would have the answers to his troubles.
"Here we are," the woman who'd met up with them at the front gate said as they got to the special roped off area where they'd be starting their morning off.
Billie looked around. "Are Tracy and her family here yet?"
"They're still having breakfast with the characters. They should be done just about the time you get done with the interviews."
Willa looked around. She'd know that there would be reporters there, but she hadn't expected something so formal. There was a stage set up with a tiny table, some chairs, and a microphone. She wondered what the day was going to be like. She'd never done anything like this before. The closest charity event she'd done was to model in a World Aids Day Fundraiser the year before.
"First up will be a quick question and answer session with the press. Then there will be a photo-call with just the two of you. When Tracy and her family get here there will be a second photo-call then the MTV people are here to get a quick interview with you. Also the Entertainment Tonight people want an interview. Both of those interviews were set up by Kelly."
"Then we get to go into the park?" Billie asked.
"Yes. You will be let loose in the park. You have VIP passes so you all won't have to wait in line for anything. It's not supposed to be that crowded today, but we have some of our staff that will go with you and your security team and make sure that you all have a good time."
The woman in the Disney World polo shirt with the Mickey Mouse eared security headphones was trying to explain their schedule to them, but Willa wasn't interested in it. They'd talked about expecting more than a few reporters to be interested in the story of them taking Tracy to the park, but it seemed as if all Willa could think of was waiting to talk to them at their small press conference. Even MTV had a reporter there to cover the event.
"You okay?"
Willa stared at the reporters waiting for them. She didn't want to talk to the press. She'd had enough phone calls come through for interviews that she didn't want to even think about talking anymore about her and Billie's so-called relationship. She wanted to just enjoy her time in Orlando and the strange and actually sweet mood that he was in.
"Willa, are you okay?"
Billie's voice finally filtered through her daze. Willa blinked and sucked in a breath of air.
"Uh, yeah." She held her head for a moment. "I forgot the bags for the girls."
"We can get someone to go to the house and get them and have them waiting for the girls when we go to dinner tonight."
Billie pulled out his phone and dialed a number and ten minutes later the plans were made. Willa didn't know exactly who would be bringing the bags for her, but the plans had been set which eased her mind a little.
"Now, are you okay?" She nodded stiffly and took another deep breath.
Billie leaned close to her. He placed his lips near her ear after kissing her cheek. "Just breathe in and out," he said softly, "It sounds complicated, but really it's just us hanging out."
She nodded and felt comforted when he slid his hand into hers. He gave her hand a squeeze then let go.
"If you're ready we'll get you two settled at the table then the questions will begin, if that's okay."
"Sure," Billie said and nudged Willa.
"Yeah, that sounds good," Willa said then looked around. "You wouldn't happen to have any water or anything would you?"
"There is a cooler up on the stage, feel free to take whatever drinks are in there."
"Thank you," Willa said.
"You ready?" Billie asked.
Willa looked around once more and with a shaky hand she went and fixed her hair again.
He looked at Loni and Wes for a moment then took Willa's hand and pulled her aside. He pulled her behind a little curtained off area and pulled her into a hug.
"Please tell me you are going to be okay."
Willa hugged Billie tightly for a moment. "It's not really all those people out there that are worrying me. Well they are, but they aren't."
"Then what's wrong?"
"I just hate lying to people," she said. "I'm not good at it."
"You've done well so far."
"I've been vague so far. That doesn't count."
"Sure it does," he said pulling back. He cupped her face in his hands and held her gaze for a moment before leaning and kissing her.
"Don't lie to them. Tell them that you and I are seeing each other and that it's still in the beginning stages and we don't know where it will lead."
Willa stared at him. "Okay, who are you and what did you do with the asshole that usually is in your place?"
"Just play along Willa," Billie said with a smile, "It won't hurt to just pretend for a day that we actually like each other."
The prediction that Wes had made in the airport was coming true in front of her eyes. Every time Billie opened his mouth that day he'd led her to believe that Wes was right. He might just be in love with her.
"Fine," she said.
"Now, if you get stuck just look at me and I'll take over. I know you haven't done very many press things so I'll try to take most of the questions, but they'll want to talk to you too." Willa nodded.
"You ready now?" he asked.
Somehow she did feel a little more at ease. At least, if nothing else, Billie was on her side. Normally that would have upset her, but with his expertise in handling the media she knew that she wasn't going to die when she got up on that stage.
A few moments later, as Billie helped Willa into her seat he finally took a look at the crowd. It was going to be a bit strange to take the lead with this interview, but he knew he'd be able to handle it. Most of the questions would be either about why he'd agreed to do the Make A Wish visit and the other half would be about him and Willa.
Billie took his seat next to Willa and scooted closer to her, resting a hand on her leg under the table where no one could see it. He thought for a moment that she might smack him or something, but he found her giving him a nervous smile and placing her hand on his before they turned to the media and said in unison, "Hello everyone."
"Let's get started," the host, the Disney woman from before said from her spot jut to the right of them.
A moment later, after a mad squirm from the media personnel to get a hand up in the air, a reporter was chosen.
The older man stood up and read off of a notebook. "Yes, my name is Trevor Mattson from the Orlando Sentinal. I wanted to know what drew you both to help Tracy get her wish."
"Well," Billie said. "I think that it is the kind of thing that is easy to do to make someone's day. I mean I give a few hours of my day to a girl who wants to meet me and she has those memories for a lifetime. It was a bit of work to get back to Orlando from the tour, but it seemed like nothing at all when you consider what Tracy has gone through in her life just to keep living."
"Next question," the Disney woman said quickly, and picked another reporter.
"Yes, my name is Sara Evens with People Magazine. Our readers have been very interested in the two of you lately. After all the publicity that has gone around, I wondered if this relationship you two have going isn't just for publicity."
Billie started to speak, but Willa cut him off.
"I don't know who you think you are, but if you doubt that Billie and I are together for more than just to get our names into the papers then you're crazy. Do you know how much work it takes to keep a relationship going? It's hard work, almost a second job to keep track of his schedule and my schedule--" Willa squeezed Billie's hand.
It was the sign that made him cut her off before her temper got out of hand.
"Look, I think what Willa wants to get across is that we're in a relationship because we love each other... " He noticed Willa's eyes go wide with that comment, but he didn't stop. "... we came here today together because Tracy asked the two of us to come together. We didn't plan this as a media stunt. We're glad that we get to be here and maybe bring some more media attention to the Make A Wish Foundation, but we're not here for us today. Tracy made a wish and we knew that we should do everything we could to grant that wish."
"Everyone I think we should stick to the topic at hand. We are here because of the Make A Wish Foundation and that should be the main focus. So unless your question has to do with that please save the questions for another time," the Disney woman said.
Billie could see that all they wanted to do was ask about him and Willa. He pushed his chair back and helped Willa up.
"We're out of here." He pulled her off the stage, luckily she came willingly.
"That Disney lady is going to come in here and yell at me I'm sure, but I didn't want to stay up there. It just takes away from--" Billie rambled as they made their way to the roped off area behind the tiny stage.
"Did you really mean that?" Willa asked when they were off the stage. Her breathing was rapid as if she'd just been running. She still couldn't believe what he'd said up there on stage.
"Mean what?" he asked, "The part about the media stunt?"
Willa took a deep breath and made eye contact with him. For a moment she thought he might be acting difficult on purpose, but she could tell from the look in his eyes that he was getting a big of a rush as she had gotten from leaving the stage without finishing the press interaction.
"No, the other part."
"What other part?" he asked.
"The part about us being--" She stared at him for a moment. It seemed like he had no clue about what she was talking about. "Oh never mind."
Billie shifted in his seat. "What did Wes say to you last night?"
"What does that have to do with anything?" she asked, "Why do you keep bringing that up?"
He leaned towards her and took her hand and held it. "Because I want to know why you are acting so strangely."
"Me acting strangely?" She drew her hand away from his hands. "What about you? All of a sudden you're full of compliments and you're kissing me whenever you seem to feel like it. What's that all about?"
"I'm trying to get through the day."
She got up and paced. "I never should have let things go this far. It seems like every time you open your mouth you're digging a hole for the two of us."
"What did you want me to say?" he asked, "That you and I are only together for the reasons the woman said? I don't think either of us are here today for those reasons that the woman out there was throwing out at--"
Willa started to talk when he paused to take in a breath of air. "What I understand is that you just totally lied to everyone out there when you said--"
"I didn't lie."
Her mouth came closed automatically and her eyes went wide when she saw the look on his face. He knew exactly what she'd been asking about a few moments before.
"You didn't lie about what?" she asked. Her heart was beating out of her chest now and she was feeling a little faint. He might just do the unthinkable. He might confirm what Wes had said the night before.
"I didn't lie about why we were here today."
"Oh," Willa said with a sigh. Her heart broke in half when she knew that he was clueless and that he didn't even remember what he'd said about her to the press. They weren't really in love and he had none of the feelings that Wes had told her about.
"At least I don't think I lied. It's helpful that both of us are stars, but I thought that you and I were here to make this little girl's dream come true, not to get our names in the paper."
Willa was going to say something to him, but she saw the Disney woman approaching. She held her breath and looked at Billie hoping they'd be able to explain their way out of the situation they'd just placed themselves in.
The woman gave them both a hard look then plastered a smile on her face.
"Mr. Armstrong, Miss Marviani, I'd like you to meet Tracy Underwood, her sister Jessica, and her parents, Phil and Stephanie."
"Nice to meet you," Billie said and shook everyone's hand.
Willa watched as little Tracy smiled up at Billie, holding his hand as Willa shook everyone's hands also. Tracy seemed a bit frail, but didn't really look very sick at all. It hadn't been explained what surgery that she would be having, but Willa wasn't sure if she wanted to know anyway.
"Well we have a quick photo session to do with you all. We just need everyone to pose on the couch and the photographers will come through and take some pictures."
Billie nodded and looked at Tracy. "You want to sit with me and Willa for a while before we go and play?" Tracy nodded shyly.
Willa turned to Jessica. "So I guess this means we get to hang out today."
"I'm so excited. I mean it's crazy and all that my sister is sick, but I think it's great--" Jessica started to say then she let her voice go quiet.
"Look, it's okay to be happy about this," Willa said and leaned towards her. "I mean that's what this is all about. Billie and I just want you all to have fun today."
Jessica nodded and hugged Willa.
"Can we get copies of the pictures?"
"Of course," Willa said. "Didn't you bring a camera with you today?"
"We weren't sure if we were aloud to so my mom said we shouldn't."
Willa looked around for a moment. "Hey Billie?" she asked. He was settling himself on the couch with Tracy next to him as her parents found places on the back of the couch.
"Yes, hon?" he asked with a smile.
Willa smiled back, not sure if it was playing or for real. "Do you have any money with you?"
Everyone around them burst into laughter, especially Loni and Wes, and Billie looked at her. "Why?"
"Jessica and I want to go get some disposible cameras."
Billie pushed himself up a little and pulled out some money. "Don't spend it all in one place."
Willa leaned over and kissed him as he looked up at her. It was going to catch him off guard, but she knew that it would seem appropriate for her to kiss him in that situation if things were real.
He grabbed her hand back while she was looking down at him. He smiled at her, a smile that she'd never seen from him before, then he leaned to kiss her again.
"We'll be right back," Willa said whipping her head up. She looked at Jessica, who didn't seem to be shocked at all.
Billie watched her leave then heard Tracy giggling at his side. "You kissed her!" He nodded. She kept giggling. "What's so funny?" he asked.
"You have lipstick on you!" She pointed and he wiped his face.
"Is it gone?" he asked.
She nodded then leaned out and wiped his face some more.
"Okay?" he asked. She nodded. "So what are we going to do today? What rides do you want to go on?"
"All of them," she said, "And I want to get those ear hats and I want to go and sing at the fake recording studios."
"I don't know about that," he said. He knew that he couldn't be recording things without permission. He could have his voice on tape speaking, but he couldn't sing. It was a sad thing to say, but it was the rules. He coughed for effect and made up an excuse which would be easier to explain than the rules.
"I have a little bit of a cold so maybe I shouldn't sing."
"But you kissed Willa!" Tracy said, "You're going to get her sick."
"I don't think she'll mind."
"Ewe! Gross!" Tracy said "I'm telling her you want to get her sick." Billie laughed and looked at Tracy's mother who seemed to be shocked by the whole conversation.
"Maybe we should talk about something else?"
Tracy nodded. "So where are the other guys?"
"Well they're all in California. Spending time with their family, most likely," Billie said, then remembered the things that he'd brought for her. "I brought you some t-shirts, but I think you'll get them later, maybe at lunch."
"Cool."
A few moments later Willa returned with a few cameras in her hand. She handed a camera to Billie and handed him the money back.
"You didn't need it?" he asked.
"She signed an autograph and took a picture with the guy at the counter and we got them for free!" Jessica said. "We need to hang out with you more often."
"Jessica!" her mother said with a shocked voice.
Willa laughed. "Those are just some of the perks that you get when you hang out with him," she said. Billie's eyes widened at the tone of her voice.
"Yeah," Willa said, "When we went to the VMA's I got to meet a lot of famous people."
"Really?" Tracy asked, "Like who?"
"Just about anybody you could think of."
"Wow!" Tracy said.
"Yeah, it's actually really a great party when you hang out with this guy," Willa said, "Like today. We're going to have a blast."
Billie was glad to see that sparkle in her eyes as she spoke about hanging out with him and was even more shocked when Willa took her seat next to him and leaned over and kissed him just before the reporters were let into the area. When she saw all the cameras she moved over and let Tracy sit between them with Jessica on the other side.
[ The Next Day ]
"So we don't get lost," Billie said as he took her hand the next morning as they walked into the airport.
The day before had been hectic and fun and the whole time they'd pretended to be a happy little couple. She'd come home that night to Billie's house and the pretending didn't stop, although she wasn't exactly sure why. They ended up falling asleep in front of the television watching 'Tommy boy'. Billie slept on the larger couch and she on the smaller couch and when they woke up that morning they even continued the playing. Somehow it seemed as if neither one of them wanted to let go of the happiness they'd found the day before.
"Good one Billie," Willa said with a smile, "Are you going to tell Tracy you've stolen her line?"
He curled his arm bringing her up closer to him. "It's not her line," he said leaning close to her, "I just want to make sure that we don't get separated from each other. We only have a little while until your flight leaves and I don't want you to get lost."
"Sure," she said, "Whatever, buddy."
Wes laughed from next to them and Willa watched Billie turn to him. "What's your problem?"
"Nothing," Wes said and winked at Willa.
They were buying it. Everyone was buying it, but she wasn't sure if the two of them could keep it up. She didn't know if it was true or was just playing, but she didn't want to ask and ruin the moment if it wasn't.
"Reporter six o'clock," Wes said in a hushed voice.
Billie pulled his hat down lower on his head and looked at Willa. "You okay?"
"Yeah," she nodded and went along with him to her gate. She'd be leaving at nine and he would be flying out at nine thirty-five so he was going to wait with her at the gate until he needed to leave.
"So Spanky is going to meet you at the gate and drive you home. He's going to be on call. He'll give you his pager number and I want you to use it. If you think that something isn't right call him and he'll come over and get you, alright?"
Willa nodded. "I don't like the idea of calling a grown man Spanky. Does he have a real name?"
Billie laughed a little. "Yeah. It's Billy. Short for William."
"Oh, like you?" she said
Billie looked at her. "No, not like me! My name is just... Billie. Billie Joe, that's it."
"Good." Willa flirted with him.
They made it to the gate and took a seat near the windows.
"So where do you go from here?"
"Back to San Diego for two days then we're going to be down in Rio De Janero for a week then we're taking off the month for Christmas Break."
"No traveling for a while?" she asked.
"We're going to be recording the new album. I think we're going to record some in New York. Maybe I'll stop by while I'm up there."
Willa couldn't believe her ears. He was actually suggesting that he'd come and see her. She knew that this was an important moment for the both of them especially since there weren't any reporters or cameras around. This was him actually telling her that he wanted to see her again.
"Sounds fine with me," she said, "If I'm in town. I have shoots all next month."
"What are you doing for Christmas?" he asked.
"Nothing," she said with a shrug. "I took that week off. I thought I'd fly out and see my parents for a while, but I don't know if I'll get out to Seattle this year."
"Seattle?" he asked.
"Yeah, my father and mother work at the University of Washington as professors."
Billie stopped and stared at her for a moment then kept walking. "Professors? And they let you get away and go to New York to model?"
Willa nodded. "Well I started modeling in Washington, then worked my way down to LA then came out this way."
"You've been in this business for a lot longer than I thought," he said.
"I've been working steadily since I was sixteen," she laughed a little. "I remember you guys way back then. I wanted to go to one of your shows, but my managers wouldn't let me. They thought I may break a bone, or something."
"When was that?" he asked. He suddenly seemed way too interested in her.
"Back in 1995."
"Wow," he said.
"Yeah, I did a shoot for a winter line and we were staying around where you were. I heard your stuff on the radio all the time," Willa smiled.
Wes nudged Billie and they looked around for a moment. They'd gotten caught in their conversation and hadn't noticed that the plane was about to board.
"You should get going Willa," Wes said with a smile to her.
Willa turned and hugged Billie. "Give me a call when you get to LA."
He nodded. "I won't be able to probably tonight because we're supposed to go to a movie premiere tonight, but I'll give you a ring in the morning."
She nodded again and for a moment felt like crying, as if this was all real and that she was going to miss him. But as he turned to her and held her hand she realized that she would miss him. Not the guy who'd she'd met at the party, not the guy who made her life a living hell, but the one in front of her who was pretending for the moment to be madly in love with her.
'Don't do this, Billie. Don't do this'
His head spun as they stared at each other that one last moment before she broke away from him and went towards the gate. Wes and Loni both waved, but he turned away after she entered the small walkway that would lead her to her seat.
"Come on, let's get out of here."
Wes turned to him and caught his arm. "Wait a second."
Billie turned around from where he'd started to walk away and saw her standing in the doorway watching him.
'Don't do this Billie. Don't do this. Don't you dare fall in love with her. It's not part of the plan. It's not and don't even think about making it part of the plan.'
Billie was about to walk over to her, but she stopped him with a wave. She pointed to her eye, then her heart, then to him.
Not knowing exactly what to do, Billie smiled and repeated the action back to her, then turned and stalked away from the gate without a word to Loni or Wes. They had to practically run to catch up with him. He was almost to the gate when his phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Billie?"
Billie thought for a moment. It wasn't Willa and it wasn't his mother or anyone else from back home. "Kelly?"
"Yeah," she said in a somber tone.
"Kelly, what's wrong?" Billie's mind began to run quickly as he waited for an answer. She usually wasn't the type of person to get upset and if things were wrong they were usually big things.
"Billie, I have some bad news," she said.
"Is it my Mom?"
"No honey. It's Tracy," She said.
"What?"
"Her mother called me a minute ago to get a message to you."
"And?"
"She died this morning."
Billie dropped the phone and turned around to face the direction he'd just come in.
"What's wrong Billie?"
"I have to stop her."
"Stop what?" Loni asked.
Wes picked up the phone and began to try to figure out what was going on with Kelly, that was until Billie took off for the gate they'd just been at.
Pushing past people and knocking over a rack of advertisement pamphlets for the Orlando tourist scene, he wound his way back to the gate, just in time to see the plane pulling back from the gate.
"You have to stop that flight!" he said running up to the counter.
The woman standing there looked alarmed by his actions and some passengers began to stare at him. "Excuse me?"
"I have to talk to someone... " He took some deep breaths trying to catch his breath. "I have to talk to someone on that flight. It's really important."
"I'm sorry sir," the woman said.
"Look," he said and held his breath for a moment. "My girlfriend is on that flight and one of our friends died this morning and she doesn't know about it."
The woman gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm sure that this is all--"
"Never mind," Billie said looking at her. Somehow he knew that she wasn't going to help him. "Just tell me when the next flight to JFK airport is."
The woman looked at her computer screen for a moment. "The next one leaves at eleven"
Billie flung his backpack onto the counter and pulled out his ticket. "I need to trade this ticket for one to JFK. Do whatever you have to do. If you bump someone off the flight I'll pay for them to stay in Orlando for the night. I just need a seat on that flight."
Wes and Loni finally joined him at the counter and a few moments later Billie had a ticket to JFK instead of LAX.
"I can't let you do this." Wes's urgency about the situation was giving Billie a headache. He was just trying to protect him, but he was tired of feeling like a shut-in. He was thirty-three years old and far past the point in his life where he should be listening to people like Wes telling him what to do. His mother could tell him to dig a hole to China and he'd do it, but Wes wasn't supposed to be acting as his parent anymore.
"I have to," Billie replied urgently slipping away from his grasp to head to the gate. He saw that Wes had his phone and went over and grabbed it from him then began walking again.
He dialed the number quickly and waited until someone picked up.
"Spanky?" he asked in a rushed voice.
"Yeah?"
"It's Billie." He looked around for a moment. Wes and Loni were both watching him, but he didn't care. He figured they were trying to hatch a plan to keep him in Orlando and away from getting on his flight to JFK. He needed to get this call made and he needed to get to New York. "I need you to do me a favor."
"Other than going to pick up your woman from the airport?" the guy asked with a laugh.
Billie didn't find humor in his comment. "Yeah, I want you to stay with her in the airport until I get there."
"Get HERE?"
"It's a long story, but I have to tell Willa something important and I need to make sure that you keep her in the airport until I get there."
"You aren't going to propose to her or something are you?" Spanky asked.
"No, nothing like that. It's bad news actually," Billie said, "The girl we visited down here in Orlando died this morning."
"Oh no," Spanky said letting out his breath fully.
"Look just don't tell her okay? I need to tell her myself and I want to do it as soon as I get to New York."
"Fine," Spanky said, "I'll keep her in the VIP lounge."
"Thanks a lot Spanky. I should be there by three," He said and hung up the phone.
"I'm not letting you fly to New York by yourself Billie. That's like suicide. If someone finds out about you being on that flight there could be a crowd waiting for you and then you'll--"
"Whatever," He said. "Spanky is going to get me when I get to New York. I'll be coming back to San Diego on the first flight I can get out of New York in the morning."
"You're going to die for this one you know," Wes said. Loni nodded from behind him.
"Just tell them that I had stuff to do," he said. "I'll call everyone when I get to New York."
"Billie, I'm warning you."
"Look Wes, I know that you are concerned and believe me I hear you, but if I don't do this and Willa hears about Tracy I know it's going to be bad. If I'm ever going to get through to her that I--" He cut off and stared at Wes. "Never mind. I just have to be there for her."
Wes sighed. "Fine, you call me every hour on the hour and I want to hear from you as soon as you get to New York. I'm going to call Spanky and tell him to meet you at the gate. I'm not letting you roam around the airport alone. I don't care if no one knows you're going to be there. It's dangerous."
[ JFK Airport]
"Hello there Miss Marviani," a deep voice said.
Willa looked up to see a thug-looking man coming towards her.
'This was Spanky. Of course he's the biggest black guy in the room who looks more like he's going to mug someone than protect them.' She hated that she sounded a bit prejudice about the guy, but it did seem strange that all the security guys she'd seen at the VMA's had looked more like street thugs than professionals.
"Spanky?" she asked.
"Yes ma'am," he said with a laugh.
Willa smiled and stuck out her hand. "Nice to meet you."
"Same here," he said and shook her hand.
"I wasn't sure if you were going to be here."
"Well I'm here and I have some bad news," Spanky said.
"What's that?" she asked.
"Well," he said and took her bag. "Billie is on his way to New York and he wants you to stay in the airport until he comes to get you."
"He's coming to New York?" she asked. Her heart rate accelerated. She'd wished and prayed that he would come after her. She'd known that her "I love you" would get to him.
"Yeah," Spanky said. "He should be here by three o'clock. We're supposed to wait for him."
Willa nodded and followed where Spanky led. She wasn't sure if this was all legit, but she knew she should stick around and see if he was really going to come for her.
When they got to the VIP lounge they found a table and Spanky took a seat next to her. They ordered lunch and Willa got out her phone and dialed Amy's number.
"Hey you," she said a moment later.
"Where are you chica?" Amy asked excitedly.
"Well I'm in the airport in New York," she said.
"Are you leaving or coming back?"
"I'm coming back from being in Orlando. I told you I was going down there."
"I just thought you might be going to work again."
"Nope," Willa said with a smile. "I'm waiting her for Billie."
"For him?" she asked. "I thought those guys were supposed to be on the West Coast."
"Well they were, but Billie was with me in Orlando and then all of a sudden I get this message that says that he's going to meet me in the airport here around three o'clock and that I need to wait for him."
"Well where are you?"
"The VIP lounge near the United gates."
"I'm going to come out and hang out with you girl. You shouldn't have to wait for his dumb-ass alone." Amy paused for a moment. "Do you know why he's making you wait?"
"No," Willa said, "He just sent a message that says I have to wait for him here. I would guess that it's important or he wouldn't make me wait."
Amy didn't speak again right away. Willa could hear her walking around and figured she was looking for her keys or purse or something.
"Oh no."
"What?" Willa asked.
"You actually like this guy again, don't you?"
Willa smiled. "We had a great time yesterday. And we met the sweetest little girl. She's the best little kid I've ever met. I think she was playing match maker yesterday and well it sort of worked."
"Willa no," Amy said with a groan. "This is going to end badly. You said yourself that he's an asshole."
"Well that was before," she said.
"Before what?" Amy asked. "Before he grabbed you in the hotel? Before he announced on National Television that you were dating or before he dragged you to Orlando because he needed you to be there?"
"I went to Orlando because I wanted to do the charity thing."
"Honey, this guy's ruined your life. I talked to Elena yesterday when I was in the office. How could you turn down that shoot with Todd to go to Orlando to see HIM?"
"I turned down the shoot because I had already accepted the invitation to the Make A Wish people."
"INVITATION? Invitation my ASS!" Amy said angrily. "If you hadn't gone down to Orlando everyone would have said that you were a heartless person. And that's Billie's fault! He's totally taken control of not only your social life, but your work life to. I thought I'd never see that happen."
"Look," Willa said with a sigh. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I know that I've said a lot of things in the past about him, but I've changed my mind. You'll have to meet him to make your own judgements."
"Well I'm going to meet the jerk today. I'll be out to the airport in about an hour."
"Fine," Willa said and clicked off her phone.
Spanky was watching her with a frown on his face.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"Nothing," he said and looked away. "Just love to hear that someone isn't blowing sunshine up Billie's ass."
"That's one thing I've never done," she said with a smile.
"He needs that sometimes," Spanky said.
"You and Wes both keep saying that."
"It's the truth. If this guy is coming up to New York to meet you there is definitely something behind that."
[ Three Hours Later ]
It was all happening in slow motion. It was that "Dream-Weaver" Wayne's World sort of hazy vision that makes everything and everyone in your vision seemed perfect, almost too perfect.
Willa had seen things like this happen to people in the movies. That moment in the movie where the main character finally gets to find out that the leading man is in love with her. Willa felt it, but had never gotten as nervous watching a movie scene as she was right then. This was the real thing.
He was here.
In New York.
For her.
She caught site of him when he entered the restaurant. He was alone and for the first time she saw some vulnerability on his part. He seemed a little nervous and kept looking around as if someone was going to go and jump out at him since the security crew wasn't with him.
As he approached her, the only sound she could hear was the beating of her heat. It filled her ears and almost got to the point of being annoying, but there were other things to think about so she tuned it out and tried to pay attention. She wanted to remember everything about this moment. The only things she could see were the smile on his face and that twinkle in his eyes that was undeniable. It was love. Nothing else seemed to matter.
"I'm glad I caught you," he said almost breathlessly as if he'd been in a hurry to find her. He pulled her into his arms, fitting her close to him as if she belonged there permanently. It felt good to be in his arms, although she was a little anxious to know why he'd traded his flight out west for one going north.
"I have something to tell you."
She leaned back and her heart seemed to pause as if it was waiting to stop forever if he said the wrong thing.
"What?" she asked with a smile. She leaned against him and hugged him again.
She caught sight of Amy's face and could tell that something wasn't right. When she turned and saw that he wasn't smiling she let her face relax. "What do you need to tell me?"
"Sit down," he said and walked with her around to the booth where she, Amy, and Spanky had been for the last hour.
Amy had arrived as she'd promised and they'd spent their time together discussing the pros and cons of her future relationship with Billie.
[ Flashback of Conversation with Amy ]
"He's not an asshole anymore," she stated when Amy started in with her critique of Billie. Amy had the right to bash him, since she'd been doing the same thing for weeks now, but something had changed in her and she suddenly felt like she needed to defend him since he couldn't defend himself at the moment.
"I don't know what happened... " She really couldn't help but to wonder if he really had been pretending or if it had all been real. She wanted it to be real so badly that she prayed that it really would be. "It's not the same anymore."
"He was nice to you for about twelve hours!" Amy made a face and threw her hands in the air in frustration. "Granted that's got to be a record from him, but it's nothing special! Guys aren't supposed to treat girls like he's treated you. He's practically ruined your life. It was career suicide to get involved with them."
"What are you talking about?" she asked. "I've gotten a lot of work because of him. A lot of work that I wouldn't have gotten without the extra publicity."
"Well I hope that it's worth it," Amy said, "No woman should have to go through all the shit that he's done to you... "
She sighed and sipped her drink then checked the clock, praying that his flight would get there earlier. She needed to prove, not only to Amy, but to herself, that he wasn't the jerk that she'd been fighting for the past few months. He had to have changed. She never would have thought that he would fly to New York just to tell her something if it wasn't something important and if he really cared about her.
"He's really not that bad."
"Well then the next time he grabs you and yells at you don't come looking for my sympathy."
"I won't."
[ Present ]
"Oh," she said and looked around for a moment. "This is Amy."
She felt strange for a moment wondering about the big news he needed to share with her. Spanky had said it was something huge and her curiosity was getting to her. She wanted it to be him telling her that things were going to be ok between them. He'd hinted about it in the airport in Orlando, but she wanted some promises. Promises not for time or for space for them, but just the idea that he was thinking of her as much as she was thinking of him.
Billie spoke to Amy for a moment. She was glad to hear Amy actually being civil to him as everyone settled into their seats at the table.
"I have some news... "
"I know. Spanky told me."
"Spanky told you what?" he said suddenly.
"Told me that you needed to talk to me."
"Oh." He took a breath. "I don't know how to say this."
"Say it," she encouraged him.
He leaned towards her and kissed her softly.
She pulled back. "Please tell me."
He leaned and kissed her again. He made eye contact with her and began to open his mouth to speak, then stopped again.
"Just say it!" Willa said with a smile when he seemed to pause.
Billie took her hand and squeezed it as he spoke; "Tracy's dead."
Willa could feel her heart stop in her chest. Her mind raced with crazy thoughts. She wanted him to repeat his news. He hadn't said the right thing. He hadn't. She at first didn't even realize what he had said because her ears were still ringing with the thought that he hadn't said "I love you." The blood drained from every appendage. Her hands went numb and her toes began to tingle and for an instant she saw black. Her smile faded and her breath caught in her throat.
"What?" she finally choked out.
"Her mother called and said that she died this morning," Billie explained. There was a pained look on his face.
She wasn't sure how to take it all in. She'd been expecting good news and what she'd gotten had taken the floor out from under her. This was so not what she wanted to be hearing right now. She'd run the whole thing through her mind over and over while she'd been waiting and this wasn't how it was supposed to be going.
"No." Willa let go of his hand and looked around. This wasn't a joke. No one was kidding around and certainly no one was laughing. "No."
"Willa?" Billie's concern was evident to her, but she tried to ignore it.
"No!" she said loudly. She got up from her seat and began to collect her things. When she had everything she pushed past Billie, who'd gotten up and was trying to block her exit.
"Willa?" He called to her as she started to walk away. When she didn't stop he called to her again then he maneuvered around her and came between her and the door.
"Willa, wait!"
"Why are you doing this to me?" she asked pushing at him when he wouldn't move. "Do you enjoy seeing the tears? Is that your sick obsession?"
"What?" he asked.
"This is probably some sick thing you like to do. I guess the last day or so we had together went too well. I expected you to ruin it, but this really takes the cake!"
"What are you talking about?" he asked.
"I'm talking about the fact that every word out of your mouth is a lie!" She watched the words sink in. She'd hurt him with that one, but she didn't find herself enjoying the feeling. Not that she enjoyed fighting with him, but at least before she would have at least gotten some sort of satisfaction out of seeing him as confused or hurt, the way she'd been so often.
"Why should I believe this?"
She pushed again and stalked out of the VIP lounge and found herself outside a few moments later trying to hail a cab, although she didn't remember exactly how she'd gotten there.
[ One Hour Later ]
Billie reached and knocked on the door. He held his breath and listened for a moment. He could hear music, but he wasn't sure if it was coming from her apartment or if it was just the television on behind her door.
Though Billie had run after Willa in the airport, she'd given him the slip and had gotten into a cab before he could stop her. Desperately trying to hold onto the last day of happiness he found himself grabbing Amy and shoving her and Spanky into the car and yelling at Spanky to get them to Willa's as quickly as he could.
So there he was at her door staring at the slightly beaten number hanging on the door, praying that when Willa answered she'd invite him in instead of leaving him to fend for himself in the city.
The door cracked open and Willa looked out at him from behind the door. Her eyes were puffy and her makeup was messy. She looked like she was in pain and he wanted to help her. He needed to help her. If he didn't he felt like he would regret it for the rest of his life.
"What do you want?" she asked.
"Can I come in?"
"Why? So you can gloat?" she asked.
"Willa! Damn it let me in!" he said forcefully.
The door closed and for a moment Billie tried to think of how he could get across town to the Ritz without being noticed. He turned away from the door, picked up his bag and stood there for a moment trying to think of what to do next. He wasn't going to give up, but he thought he might need to regroup a bit before he tried again to talk to her.
"Billie?" He turned to find the door open and Willa leaning against it looking at him.
"I'm sorry," He said softly as he was let into the apartment. She placed a finger to his lips and kept it there as he moved out of the way of the door so that she could close the door.
"I want to say something to you before you start giving me excuses."
"Excuses?" he asked.
"Just listen to me," she said. She took his bag from him and set it on the floor then walked into the studio apartment's living room and plopped down on the couch.
That's when Billie finally heard the music she had on the radio. "What song is this?" he asked.
"The Last Unbroken Heart," she said.
"Hello Eighties." Billie thought that the comment might lighten the mood, but saw the look on her face and figured that he'd better sit down.
"Can you be serious for a moment?"
He nodded instead of answering.
"Now," she said and turned to him. "I've wanted to say this to you for months now and I haven't been able to because whatever has come up, but today was the kicker. I don't even know if you weren't there this afternoon, but your news wasn't exactly what I thought I was going to be hearing from you."
"I know. It shocked me too."
"I'm upset about Tracy's death. It's hard enough to deal with that, but it's even more disappointing that Tracy saw in the two of us something that you can't seem to get through your head or if you have let it get through to you, you must keep pushing it away."
"What are you talking about?"
"What am I talking about?" She jumped up and began to pace. "I'm talking about the last forty eight hours and how you've been completely overprotective over me, you've kissed me, and you've acted like you were in love with me. Hell you tell the press that we're in love, but I'm not sure where I stand with you. Hell, I don't think I've ever known!"
"This is about where you stand with me?" he asked with a blank stare in her direction.
"Yes!" she said. "You treat me like an employee and just when I thought that we might be friends or even more you throw something at me that kills me." Tears formed in her eyes. "You got up there and threw out at the press this whole protective thing, that you weren't going to stand by and let them talk about the two of us like they had been, then you act like the words that you said to the press have no real meaning."
"You're confusing me," he said and shook his head.
"Well welcome to my world Billie! I LOVE YOU, and as much as I want things to work out with you, I'm at the end of my rope with waiting around for you to tell me anything about the way you feel for me."
Billie stared. He was in trouble now. He knew this was going to happen and he didn't want it to. He wanted love, eventually, but after the hassle that it had brought to him in the past, this wasn't exactly a joyous occasion
"See, that's what I mean. You just sit there and stare at me."
"Willa, you don't understand. You knew that this was a business proposition. I never said that--"
"I know that's not all that all it has been for you. I know that!"
Billie covered his face. "Oh my god!" He breathed the words out and leaned back.
Willa paced again.
"Sit down Willa," He said, "I have something to tell you."
Willa threw her arms up in the air. "As if my day wasn't completely a loss already. More bad news, I'm sure."
Billie glared at her for a moment. "Sit down. I let you yell at me and now it's my turn to say my piece." Willa flopped down on the couch and stared at him.
"I should have explained this to you in the beginning. I never wanted a relationship. That wasn't the plan at all. I don't want to get into it, but basically I got burned last year from a girl and although I would have loved to leave the serious social scene alone, everyone around me told me I needed to get out. I needed a date, not a romance. I thought you understood that."
"I... " She began to speak and he watched her start to cry. "I hate you."
"See that's your trouble. You can't make up your mind. You love me? You hate me? This is ridiculous."
"Ridiculous is you not answering me!"
Billie watched her. "What was the question?"
Willa groaned. "This is hopeless."
"Willa calm down," He said with a laugh. "You act like all of this has to be perfect. Nothing in life is like that. You of all people should know that."
Willa curled her legs up to her chest and buried her head in her arms.
Billie could see how upset she was and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get himself to just leave her alone. He had a feeling that's what she wanted, but there was a part of him that couldn't do it. He'd miss her too much. Even though he knew it was dangerous to keep her too close to her, he knew he didn't want her too far away either.
"I can't do this anymore Billie. I think we need to not see each other. This is too much drama."
"But... "
"No buts. I know that you don't have a place to stay for the night. You're welcome to use the couch, but after tomorrow I don't want to see you or hear from you for a while. I leave for Europe in two days and I don't think--"
"I get the picture," he finally said. He was tired and needed some sleep, but he also needed some time to think about all this. "I'm going to go out for a while. I'll be back." He pushed himself up.
"Wait," she said. She got up and walked over to the table near the door, grabbed her keys and took a key off the ring. "In case I'm not here when you get back."
Billie took the key and left the apartment. He knew that he shouldn't, but he found himself on the street a moment later with no where to go, but at the same time it was almost a relief. He never got to just hang out in the city. He was always there on business. He pulled his jacket up around him and reached for his phone. He had two calls to make.
"Hey Rob," he said a moment before.
"I heard about what happened with that little girl. How are you holding up?"
"I'm good. It's really sad about her dying. It's rough to know that I saw that little girl yesterday and now she's gone."
"How's Willa doing?"
"There's just drama going on," he said. "Not just the whole Tracy thing. I think we're going to break things off."
"That's too bad," Rob said. "Are you in New York?"
"Yeah," he said.
"Is Spanky there?"
Billie looked around for a moment then lied. "Yeah. No one knows that I'm here. I have a feeling I won't even need him."
"I could kill you for not taking Wes or Loni with you, but since it was an unexpected trip--"
"Thanks," Billie said. "Look, I've got to run. I'll talk to you later. Will you tell Wes that I'm okay? The guy was on my back today to call him. Like I'm a kindergartener, or something."
"Sure, I'll tell him."
"I'll see you guys tomorrow. Wes has my flight information."
"Ok," Rob said.
When Billie was done with that call he dialed home. He needed some motherly advice about the situation. If anyone would know what to do, his mom would have the answers to his troubles.