My Dream Girl.

Right foot, left foot. Breathe in, breathe out. Sneaky glance. Pretend to read book. A second sneaky glance. She’s looking! Abort! Duck behind the bookshelf!

Backing up…backing u---

“Fudge!” I shouted as I knocked over the bookshelf.

“Are you okay?” a voice asked as I brushed books off of me. It was her. She offered me her hand.

“Y-y-“and I bolted. I ran all the way to High Line Park where I slowed down and cursed myself. “STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!”

Maybe she would forget it. Maybe she didn’t see my face. I hope she hadn’t recognized me.

“Dude!” Kam yelled from across the park. “That was your chance! What are you doing?” He motioned towards my legs which I was holding tightly against my chest.

“I chickened out, alright, man?”

“That’s the third time this week!”

“I know, I know. It’s just… so hard. Every time I hear her talking to a customer, my heart just melts. The way she brushes hair out of her face. How she smiles when she sells a book. The way she talks about how good a book is…” I said while I drifted off, thinking of Mia. Mia worked a part-time job at Shelvin’ (the greatest book store in the city, also see lamest name)

Snapping. Waving. “…Earth to Eric? Anybody home, dude?” I snapped back.

“Yeah, I’m here.”

“Do I need to get into that head of yours to make you understand that you need to take the chance when you can? Seriously, dude, she’s not gonna be free for long.”

This was true. I had known Mia since she was about 4, (our parents knew each other and often met up) but we drifted slowly away from each other. She was my best friend when I was young. I guess I had always liked her.

She was always so very nice to everyone, even the bullies. They’d take my Kool-Aid and she would just go over to them and ask them politely for it back. She’d always come back with my Kool-Aid. I didn’t start to notice that her cookie went to them until, one day, I over heard them talking about it. One time, I’d asked her about her cookie. She just looked up from her book and smiled, a don’t-worry-about-it smile and say “As long as you’re happy, Eric.”

At the start of middle school, she went to public school and I went to an all-boys boarding school in Roosdom, a city over in Connecticut. I had come back the first few summers and winter breaks, but she had her own friends.

The first summer I saw her was the first summer of high school and also my last one -until this summer, of course. (All of middle school I had come home and immediately depart on a wild summer adventure that my parents wanted me to go on.) She hadn’t recognized me. Of course she hadn’t. In the years I’d been at Bradbury, I’d changed. I’d outgrown my shaggy hair and cut it short, to a point that I was almost bald. I was still short, only about 5’4.

I was so excited to see her. I wanted to see her as soon as I got off the train. And I did. She was sitting there, as if by fate, right in front of the doors as they opened. As if she was waiting for me. I turned on the camera I had around my neck and took a picture. Then, I dropped it and let it hang around my neck as I started walk towards her, lugging my luggage as fast as I could. Then I saw another guy come up from behind her and cover her eyes. She giggled and guessed who he was. When he uncovered her eyes, they kissed.

And my heart died. It was as if someone took it, jumped on it, stuck it in a blender and puréed it. It was like when Ron had left Harry and Hermione all alone on the trip to search for the Deathly Hallows and Hermione just cried. I put on a strong face and waved to her before I caught a taxi home. She waved back, just a tiny bit, as if she recognized me, just a little bit. My heart jumped.

That night my family joined her family for dinner. I rang the doorbell. She opened. She let out a little “Oh!” of surprise. “Eric!” She squealed. She squeezed the life out of me and I should’ve had cardiac arrest then. She smelled like raspberries and vanilla. And I spent that whole summer taking pictures of her. She never mentioned that guy. No one did actually. I think he was a secret boyfriend. I still own all of those pictures.

“…anyways, dude, there’s gonna be this raging party tonight at my friend’s house and I think she’s gonna be there. You should come. Have some fun on your last day of Winter Break, ever.” Kam invited.

“Sure. Oh, and I’ll still have winter break in college.”

“Oh, you know what I mean. Anyways, I was thinking….” Maybe I should go back to see her. Or at least get some pictures of her. Find some excuse to talk to her. Any kind of excuse. I waved good-bye to Kam and made my way back to the store. I walked in with my camera in hand, ready to snap pictures. And there she was.

I remember my friends telling me that I had exaggerated this girl. That no one was this perfect. And that my perspective of her had become a dream. She was similar to the one in my memories, but not as great. She was a dream girl. And that’s what she really was. My dream girl.

She glanced my way. I ducked beneath a bookshelf. Again. I pretended to look for books. Then I actually looked for books. I found this book I had wanted for a long, long time. It was a book on photography. Taking deep breaths, I walked up to the counter. She was standing there, smiling at me.

“A photographer, now are we?” she asked coyly. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I nodded my head vigorously. As I left, she yelled at me. “Do I know you?” My heart stopped. What should I say? What should I say? My knees felt weak. I shook my head slightly and let out a tiny “N-no-no.” as I speed walked out of the book store.

The party was full of people from my elementary school. It was a pretty small town with only one high school, one middle school, one elementary school, so everyone there knew each other. Kam pointed out to me everyone as we searched for Mia.

Then I saw her. She looked beautiful. Today was my last day here, in Nadia. It was two before school started again and I was all packed and ready to go home. I wouldn’t see her until next summer. A whole 6 months. Could I wait that long? I had already waited 6 years, what would 6 months do? But the thought of leaving without doing anything killed me.

I practiced my lines. I rehearsed them. And walked over to her. “M-Mia.” I stuttered.

“Aren’t you the guy from the store?” she asked, not recognizing me. Typical.

“It’s Eric, Mia.”

“Omigosh, Eric!” she squealed. She engulfed me in a hug. She still smelled like raspberries. Oh, nostalgia. “Do me a favor?” I gulped and nodded. I couldn’t bring myself to ask what. “I need to get out of here. I have a huge assignment due on Tuesday and I haven’t even started. I didn’t want to come, but Turk thinks I need to lighten up. She was my ride here and she won’t let me go home. So I need you to play along.” I stared at her, trying to see what she was going to do.

While smearing her make-up, dabbed her hand in a cup of -what seemed to be- punch and wiped it all around her mouth. She messed up her hair. She picked up and empty cup and pretended to drink it all.

She began to walk funny, leaning one way, then another. She grabbed my tie and went up to a girl. “Hey, Turk.” she slurred. “This’s Rick. Oh, oops!” She giggled. “I mean, Eric. From elmnemet-elmelet-emeletrary school, remember?”

Turk leaned in towards Mia’s mouth and smelled it. “You’ve had, the punch, haven’t you?” Mia leaned against me and giggled drunkenly. I felt my face grow hot.

Her face went innocent as she spoke. “Of course not mommy.” More giggling.

“Eric?” I nodded. I remembered her now. She was Turquoise, who was in my 4th and 5th grade classes. “Wow, it’s been a while.”

“It sure has.” I replied.

“I need you to take her home for me, please.” Oh, clever, clever girl. Mia, you sneak.

“Sure.” I grabbed Mia’s shoulder, supporting her. Turk called a taxi and twenty minutes later, helped me carry Mia out. She motioned for a cab. She helped me get Mia into the cab. Then I got in, laid her head on my lap, and played with her hair. Turk closed the door and waved.

As soon as she was out of sight, Mia sat up. “Thank you thank you thank you!” She exclaimed. “Eric, you’re so wonderful. Oh I love you.” My eyes widened. She realized what she said. “No, no, no. Not in that way, of course.”

I mustered up all the courage to ask one question that would mean I wouldn’t have to talk anymore. “How’s it been?”

“Oh, it’s been great. My, how much taller you’ve gotten. And your hair, you’ve grown it out…” This was my time to make a move. To do something that she would remember, possibly forever. To do something important. I probably won’t ever see her after this. Ever again. My parents were moving over to Australia since my dad had been transferred. I would go back to Bradbury, but I’d never have a reason or excuse to come back to see her. Ever. The thought terrified me. To not ever see those wonderful green eyes of hers. That long brown hair. The sweet smile. The smell of raspberries.

And as the taxi pulled to a stop in front of her house, I did the logical thing. I kissed her. It was a sweet kiss. No tongue, no playful-ness. It was innocent, like a first kiss should be. My stomach felt like I was on a roller coaster. I cupped my hand around her face and deepened the kiss. She wrapped her arms around my neck. We kissed for what felt like weeks, months, maybe even.

But then, she pulled us apart and stepped out of the cab. No no no no no! What was she doing? Come back! I mentally screamed. She fumbled with her purse and threw two twenties at me. “For the ride.” and she ran into the darkness. I waited until the patio light automatically turned on and she sat down in a chair on patio, knees to her chest.

Oh, this was worst than the hurt from before. Was it my fault? “742 Wallaby Lane, please.” I told the taxi driver. I looked away. I didn’t want my recently mended heart to be shredded into pieces. Not again. But the temptation pulled me in, as we pulled away from the curb, and I looked.

She was crying.