Tear Tracks Forever

As soon as I stepped into the house, a police officer said, “Miss, drop the bag. Get against the wall, put your hands behind your back where I can see them,” he said. There was a woman with a short brown bob standing next to him.

I pressed myself to the wall and put my hands behind my back next to Alex, who was doing the same thing.

“What’s happening?” I asked,

“Miss, you have the right to remain silent,” was his reply.

I tried to communicate with Alex using my eyes.

What’s happening? I tried to ask with my eyes.

He shrugged, obviously not knowing.

“Miss Kumshi, you may now turn around. But keep your hands behind your back,” one of the officers said. I slowly turned around, and saw her holding a small green bottle.

“You’re coming with us. To the police station where we’re doing some questioning,” the
man said.

“Why? What did I do?” I asked him.

“We’ll be asking the questions around here,” the woman interrupted, and then handcuffed me. She grabbed me by the crook of my elbow and tried to lead me out the door.

“Wait!” Ms. Markin shrieked. The woman stopped and paused, amused, as Mrs. Markin rushed upstairs and came back down, carrying a few towels and a change of clothes.
“She’s soaked. She might catch a cold. At least let her change,” Mrs. Markin begged, and I was touched that she cared so much. It actually felt like…a real mother’s love.

The woman shook her head. “I’m sorry. No can do.” The last thing I saw were Alex’s big blue eyes, scared as if he wanted to do something, staring at me as the woman grabbed me by the crook of my elbow and led me outside, the man at her heels.

The put me in the back of the police car. I was scared. I’d never been in a real police car before. I shuddered at the thought that I was sitting in the same place that actual murderers and rapists sat.

I listened quietly as they talked, and quickly found out that the woman’s name was Lynn and
the man’s Daniel. They first they talked about me, then work, and then the movie that they were going to see tonight and whether they should get pizza or tacos.

I was annoyed; it seemed as if they didn’t care at all about me.

We neared the police station, and they took me out and led m down a hall toward a small black room with no windows, just one of those see-through walls. Same thing I saw on CSI and Law & Order. I shivered, partly because I was cold, partly because I was scared.
Daniel un-cuffed me, and I shivered and sat down on the hard, uncomfortable steel chair, quietly rubbing my sore wrists as he took a seat in the comfy, padded chair that was obviously meant for him.

He sighed as he looked me over. I must’ve been a mess, soaked from the rain.
“Ms. Kumshi, we need you to understand the charges that are being pressed here,” he told me seriously.

“Yes, sir,” I nodded, trying to look as innocent and un-murderer like as I could.
“Well, at the moment, you’re the only possible suspect that has a reason to kill Mr. Kumshi and we also found the poison used to kill him in…you room. That’s more than enough evidence for us,” Daniel explained.

“I couldn’t have killed him!” I burst out. “It’s my birthday! I was at the beach with Alex all day! There’s no possible way I got back to New York to kill my father and back here on time! And I just got the news that he was dead a few hours ago. That’s why I ran away. I couldn’t deal with it. A-a-and, the poison, I have no idea where it came from! I don’t know how it got there,” I stammered.

“Mmmm, sure. Well, don’t worry Ms. Kumshi, you’ll have a fair trial and get a chance to present your case, but at the moment, you’re being charged with first-degree murder,” Daniel smirked.

The world seemed to be falling. I stared at the ceiling in horror, willing myself not to cry. I could get through this. Okay, Rhee, focus.

Daniel stood up, re-cuffing me and motioning for me to follow him. I followed him down a dark, cold hall, full of cells with lone people in them, staring at me. I could tell this wasn’t jail, just a place of holding cells. Nonetheless, this was way too much to handle and I couldn’t stop the silent tears from streaming down my face.

He un-cuffed me once more.

Daniel escorted me into a lone cell at the very end of the corridor, and then pulled out a pair of keys and locked the door shut.

“Wait! Why am I in here? Legally, you can’t jail me without me having a fair trial by jury and being proven guilty,” I stammered.

“Oh, I’m not jailing you. It’s just that a first-degree murderer is much too dangerous to have roaming around town. So you’ll be in a holding cell, let out to only see your lawyer. Okay?” he asked, and then giving me a tiny smile, he strode down the hallway, keys jingling in his hand.

I collapsed on the floor, feeling utterly helpless and let the tears fall as I cried as loud as I wanted, not giving a shit about what the other people in here thought. My life was ruined. I had no other suspects, and my entire family was dead and I was going to be in jail or life for first-degree murder of my own father, something I didn’t even do. Fuck my life. I’d much rather die than be shamed and be in jail the rest of my pointless life.

I sat there, quiet and scared, until I had a sudden thought. Would I ever get out of here? And when? I waited quiet patiently until Daniel passed by, once more, now holding a steaming cup of coffee and I suddenly realized how hungry I was. I wondered how much longer till dinner.

“Sir!” I called out.

He halted, spun around, and came to me, his eyebrows raised as if he was amused.

“When’s dinner? And when do I get let out? If I win, who will I live with?” I asked.

He sighed, and then unlocked the cell. “Personally, I think you’re harmless, but come with me to the computers and I’ll show you your father’s will and legal documents. Now just for safety’s sake, I’ll have to handcuff you.”

He cuffed me, and then I followed him back down the long hallway, my heart fluttering with anticipation.

I stood in front of a black Dell laptop as Daniel clicked a few keys.

“Hmm, well, it seems as If your legal guardian is now…Mr. Joshua Markin.”

I gasped. The world seemed to be spinning out around me. “What…? That can’t be possible! Are you sure it doesn’t say ‘Kara Kumshi’?” I asked. That was the name of my aunt.

Daniel shook his head. “Positive.”

I bit my lip, scared. I would have to live with him? The man who sexually abused Carmella? I could obviously say that right now and get him arrested too, but what good would that do? That would just add more shit to the mess my life already was.

Silently, Daniel led me back to the holding cell where I sat, my head in my hands. I played with my hair a little bit, braiding it and fishtailing it. I was bored and depressed. Mostly traumatized by the events of today. I ran over them in my head. Alex kissing me, my father being murdered, running away, almost being arrested, being charged for first degree murder of my own father, and realizing that I was going to be living with a rapist if I ever got out of jail.

Then I began to think…what was that poison that killed my father? Could it kill me too? There was certainly no point of me living; my life would be hell either way. With time to spare, I began concocting a bitter and risky plan, something that I would have never even imagined doing a few days back. But as I took a deep breath and asked Daniel if I could see the bottle, and as he unlocked the cell once again and I walked down that cold, metal hallway, I realized there was no turning back. And I wanted to do it. I had thought it long and hard, and I began the actions that seemed utterly senseless to some people. But not to me.