Doves on Fire
Scaring Clerks and Meeting Bob
My mom agreed to watch Sadye while I went shopping for the baby.
Mikey and his roommates, Frank and Cupcake, were gonna help me.
Maybe I should give you some background information:
Mikey couldn't pay for a apartment by himself on his Barnes and Nobles job.
So he met up with this kid, Frank.
Frank went to a catholic school and Mikey went to Belleville High.
Mikey goes to Belleville University and Frank goes to Rutgers.
Frank met Liana [[ Cupcake ]] in school. She couldn't pay for dorming, so Frank invited her to live with him and Mikey. Once she started working, she has more money than both of them, helping with the rent. She stays in one bedroom [[ the smaller one ]] while Mikey and Frank live in the slightly bigger one.
See?
Also Cupcake's sister is going to give me A L O T of girl clothes, a swing thingy, a bouncy, and bathtub thingy. All I needed was a crib, changing table, and diapers.
"FORMULA!" Cupcake jumped.
"What?" I asked.
"Unless yo moobs [[ Man Boobs ]] can produce milk, you're gonna need formula," she told me.
"I snagged awhole truckload at the hospital. The nurses felt for me," I said. "But I guess it's like diapers, right?"
She nodded. "You can stop giving her formula when she turns one."
"CUPCAKE! Get over here!" Frank snarled.
She glared at Frank. And then she threw her shoe at him.
Me and Mikey laughed hard and we went into Babies [[ backwards ]] R' Us.
xXxXxXx
"I don't want pink, or blue, or yellow. Like who decided yellow was a neutral color?" I ranted as we looked at the cribs / changing tables [[ which was a slash dressers ]].
"Can I help you?" a clerk asked.
"What's with all these bright effing colors. Or why are there only three colors? Why are you biased to other colors?" I snarled.
The clerk jumped back, scared shitless. "Uhh Boooooooooooob!"
Another clerk appeared. He had blonde hair and a lip ring.
"You called?" Bob asked.
"Can you help this man?" Clerk #1 asked.
Bob shrugged. "How can I help you?"
"You got any black cribs?" I asked.
"Umm not like plastic, and not B L A C K black. But we got dark dark blood red wooden cribs," Bob motioned me to the back.
And there it was, the perfect crib and changing table / dresser.
"Oh my goodness! It's S E X Y !" Cupcake clapped.
Mikey laughed. "Only my brother's kid would have a black crib."
"Yea you want it?" Bob asked.
"Yea, but we still need some more stuff," Frank said.
"Umm like what?" Bob asked.
"Bedding, diapers, formula, toys of course. Umm bath stuff, uh clothes. We could get more clothes," I said.
"Bedding. Follow me you might like this," Bob lead us through an "EMPLOYEES ONLY" door.
He rummaged through some boxes. "AHA!"
He pulled out bedding. It was dark violet with cartoon bats on the like border thingy and one big cartoon bat and two small ones on the sheet. The comforter had little bats on it too.
"Oy vey!" Cupcake said.
"We got it by accident and we can't return it," Bob said.
"I'll take it!" I said.
"Alright, I'ma bring your stuff to the front. Go get what else you need," Bob said and brought our stuff up to the counters.
We went to the diapers and formulas first.
"Here, 1-3 months, preemie," Cupcake grabbed two B I G boxes of diapers.
"Thanks," I said.
"What kind?" Mikey was by the formulas.
"Regular I guess," I shrugged. Mikey grabbed a bunch and dropped it in our cart.
"Miguel, Frank, go pick up baby shampoos and soapy kay? Me and Gee will go pick up toys," Cupcake said.
"Can we get some toys too?" Frank asked.
"Yea sure," I said.
xXxXxXx
When we all seem satisfied we went to pay.
"Thanks fo being so helpful Bob!" Cupcake waved.
"No prob. Good luck!" Bob waved back.
In the car I asked Cupcake when she can get the stuff for me.
"Umm this week if you want, Wedsenday?" She asked.
"Sure," I shrugged.
"Kay, I'll tell Michele," Cupcake said.
Mikey and his roommates, Frank and Cupcake, were gonna help me.
Maybe I should give you some background information:
Mikey couldn't pay for a apartment by himself on his Barnes and Nobles job.
So he met up with this kid, Frank.
Frank went to a catholic school and Mikey went to Belleville High.
Mikey goes to Belleville University and Frank goes to Rutgers.
Frank met Liana [[ Cupcake ]] in school. She couldn't pay for dorming, so Frank invited her to live with him and Mikey. Once she started working, she has more money than both of them, helping with the rent. She stays in one bedroom [[ the smaller one ]] while Mikey and Frank live in the slightly bigger one.
See?
Also Cupcake's sister is going to give me A L O T of girl clothes, a swing thingy, a bouncy, and bathtub thingy. All I needed was a crib, changing table, and diapers.
"FORMULA!" Cupcake jumped.
"What?" I asked.
"Unless yo moobs [[ Man Boobs ]] can produce milk, you're gonna need formula," she told me.
"I snagged awhole truckload at the hospital. The nurses felt for me," I said. "But I guess it's like diapers, right?"
She nodded. "You can stop giving her formula when she turns one."
"CUPCAKE! Get over here!" Frank snarled.
She glared at Frank. And then she threw her shoe at him.
Me and Mikey laughed hard and we went into Babies [[ backwards ]] R' Us.
xXxXxXx
"I don't want pink, or blue, or yellow. Like who decided yellow was a neutral color?" I ranted as we looked at the cribs / changing tables [[ which was a slash dressers ]].
"Can I help you?" a clerk asked.
"What's with all these bright effing colors. Or why are there only three colors? Why are you biased to other colors?" I snarled.
The clerk jumped back, scared shitless. "Uhh Boooooooooooob!"
Another clerk appeared. He had blonde hair and a lip ring.
"You called?" Bob asked.
"Can you help this man?" Clerk #1 asked.
Bob shrugged. "How can I help you?"
"You got any black cribs?" I asked.
"Umm not like plastic, and not B L A C K black. But we got dark dark blood red wooden cribs," Bob motioned me to the back.
And there it was, the perfect crib and changing table / dresser.
"Oh my goodness! It's S E X Y !" Cupcake clapped.
Mikey laughed. "Only my brother's kid would have a black crib."
"Yea you want it?" Bob asked.
"Yea, but we still need some more stuff," Frank said.
"Umm like what?" Bob asked.
"Bedding, diapers, formula, toys of course. Umm bath stuff, uh clothes. We could get more clothes," I said.
"Bedding. Follow me you might like this," Bob lead us through an "EMPLOYEES ONLY" door.
He rummaged through some boxes. "AHA!"
He pulled out bedding. It was dark violet with cartoon bats on the like border thingy and one big cartoon bat and two small ones on the sheet. The comforter had little bats on it too.
"Oy vey!" Cupcake said.
"We got it by accident and we can't return it," Bob said.
"I'll take it!" I said.
"Alright, I'ma bring your stuff to the front. Go get what else you need," Bob said and brought our stuff up to the counters.
We went to the diapers and formulas first.
"Here, 1-3 months, preemie," Cupcake grabbed two B I G boxes of diapers.
"Thanks," I said.
"What kind?" Mikey was by the formulas.
"Regular I guess," I shrugged. Mikey grabbed a bunch and dropped it in our cart.
"Miguel, Frank, go pick up baby shampoos and soapy kay? Me and Gee will go pick up toys," Cupcake said.
"Can we get some toys too?" Frank asked.
"Yea sure," I said.
xXxXxXx
When we all seem satisfied we went to pay.
"Thanks fo being so helpful Bob!" Cupcake waved.
"No prob. Good luck!" Bob waved back.
In the car I asked Cupcake when she can get the stuff for me.
"Umm this week if you want, Wedsenday?" She asked.
"Sure," I shrugged.
"Kay, I'll tell Michele," Cupcake said.