I'm Supposed To Love You
Second Thoughts
The shower stopped running. I saw Peter in his bed sound asleep as I slowly walked up to the bed, so as to not disturb him. I heard whoever was in the shower getting dressed quietly while I began to get curious.
Maybe it's Joe. Or Andy. He gave them a ride home, too.
Yeah....
I sat by where Pete's pillow was and noticed a pair of panties on the floor. It looked as though they had been carelessly abandoned....
Those aren't mine....
The bathroom door opened and my eyes darted up to land on the face of Erin Collins. She wasn't wearing anything but a towel and a shocked expression on her face that could only be exceeded by mine.
As my mouth hung open, Erin began to speak. "Audrey," she said. "It's not what it looks like, I swear."
My eyes began to well up with tears as she walked over to pick up her panties.
"What is it supposed to look like?" I could only choke out a few words at a time, and even that was miraculous. I stood up and walked over to the door when Erin's hand landed on my shoulder.
"Listen to me, Audge," she said.
I stopped, but I didn't bother to turn and face her. "You don't know what happened," she continued. Then I got angry. "Damn right I don't!" I hissed, turning to face her.
She sighed and closed her eyes. "We didn't do anything we shouldn't have been---," she said.
I cut her off. "Oh! So because it 'felt so right', it makes it okay!?" I kept my voice down, but continued to rage quietly. I didn't want to scream because I might wake up Peter, and he was going to worse to confront than Erin.
"NO!" She defended herself, but kept a calm disposition. "We were only---"
"Writing that song," I finished, sarcasm clearly a major part in my voice.
"Let me finish, Audge," she said.
I pursed my lips and looked away.
"We were working on the song," she continued. I felt the urge to cut her off again, but clenched my teeth to keep my words inside. "And by the time we finished, it was around five. I slept in the guest room, but when I tried to turn on the water, it just... i don't know... didn't work. So I came to his room to take a shower. It's the closest one to the guest room," she quickly added, seeing my face change from calm to angrily confused.
I quickly closed my mouth and folded my arms, looking down. "You have to understand," she said. "I'd never touch Pete! Especially when he's dating you! I'd never want to hurt you, Audrey."
I looked to her with a skeptical face. "Why are you so affectionate with him? Every time I walk in the studio, you're... on his lap... or in a compromising position...."
"That's just who I am," she pleaded. "I'm affectionate with everyone. It's how I was raised."
"You're not affectionate with me," I countered, trying to prove her wrong.
She hung her head in shame and ran her fingers through her hair.
I believe her.
I don't.
I started walking toward the door when I heard her start to cry. Out of curiousity, I stopped, turned, and walked cautiously toward her. She now held her face in her hands.
"You don't understand," she choked out. It was heartbreaking. Even if she was one of my least favorite people at the moment, she was usually a very happy person. It killed me to see her in front of me sobbing, and I wasn't doing a thing about it....
-------------------------------------------
"What don't I understand?" I questioned.
She shook her head as if she didn't want to tell me. It made me angry that she didn't tell me because it seemed like she was trying to make me feel bad for her.
I scoffed and walked out of the room. It may have looked like I was strong, but when I got into my car, I broke my emotionless face and began to sob.
It took a good five minutes for me to calm down enough to drive, but when I backed out of the driveway, I saw Erin running out of the house fully dressed. She tried waving me down, but I didn't want to hear it.
I drove down back to my house with a surprisingly stone face. Sometimes, the urge would come for me to burst into tears, but that only resulted in streams flowing from my eyes.
I opened the door quietly and headed up to my room. No one noticed me because I didn't see Steven's car outside and Kitty was probably still sleeping. When I got to my room, I collapased on m bed and hugged the sheets to me, finally letting myself break down.
I can't believe this.
I thought he loved me....
Maybe it's Joe. Or Andy. He gave them a ride home, too.
Yeah....
I sat by where Pete's pillow was and noticed a pair of panties on the floor. It looked as though they had been carelessly abandoned....
Those aren't mine....
The bathroom door opened and my eyes darted up to land on the face of Erin Collins. She wasn't wearing anything but a towel and a shocked expression on her face that could only be exceeded by mine.
As my mouth hung open, Erin began to speak. "Audrey," she said. "It's not what it looks like, I swear."
My eyes began to well up with tears as she walked over to pick up her panties.
"What is it supposed to look like?" I could only choke out a few words at a time, and even that was miraculous. I stood up and walked over to the door when Erin's hand landed on my shoulder.
"Listen to me, Audge," she said.
I stopped, but I didn't bother to turn and face her. "You don't know what happened," she continued. Then I got angry. "Damn right I don't!" I hissed, turning to face her.
She sighed and closed her eyes. "We didn't do anything we shouldn't have been---," she said.
I cut her off. "Oh! So because it 'felt so right', it makes it okay!?" I kept my voice down, but continued to rage quietly. I didn't want to scream because I might wake up Peter, and he was going to worse to confront than Erin.
"NO!" She defended herself, but kept a calm disposition. "We were only---"
"Writing that song," I finished, sarcasm clearly a major part in my voice.
"Let me finish, Audge," she said.
I pursed my lips and looked away.
"We were working on the song," she continued. I felt the urge to cut her off again, but clenched my teeth to keep my words inside. "And by the time we finished, it was around five. I slept in the guest room, but when I tried to turn on the water, it just... i don't know... didn't work. So I came to his room to take a shower. It's the closest one to the guest room," she quickly added, seeing my face change from calm to angrily confused.
I quickly closed my mouth and folded my arms, looking down. "You have to understand," she said. "I'd never touch Pete! Especially when he's dating you! I'd never want to hurt you, Audrey."
I looked to her with a skeptical face. "Why are you so affectionate with him? Every time I walk in the studio, you're... on his lap... or in a compromising position...."
"That's just who I am," she pleaded. "I'm affectionate with everyone. It's how I was raised."
"You're not affectionate with me," I countered, trying to prove her wrong.
She hung her head in shame and ran her fingers through her hair.
I believe her.
I don't.
I started walking toward the door when I heard her start to cry. Out of curiousity, I stopped, turned, and walked cautiously toward her. She now held her face in her hands.
"You don't understand," she choked out. It was heartbreaking. Even if she was one of my least favorite people at the moment, she was usually a very happy person. It killed me to see her in front of me sobbing, and I wasn't doing a thing about it....
-------------------------------------------
"What don't I understand?" I questioned.
She shook her head as if she didn't want to tell me. It made me angry that she didn't tell me because it seemed like she was trying to make me feel bad for her.
I scoffed and walked out of the room. It may have looked like I was strong, but when I got into my car, I broke my emotionless face and began to sob.
It took a good five minutes for me to calm down enough to drive, but when I backed out of the driveway, I saw Erin running out of the house fully dressed. She tried waving me down, but I didn't want to hear it.
I drove down back to my house with a surprisingly stone face. Sometimes, the urge would come for me to burst into tears, but that only resulted in streams flowing from my eyes.
I opened the door quietly and headed up to my room. No one noticed me because I didn't see Steven's car outside and Kitty was probably still sleeping. When I got to my room, I collapased on m bed and hugged the sheets to me, finally letting myself break down.
I can't believe this.
I thought he loved me....