I'm Supposed To Love You
Maybe Not
So here I stood at Peter's door. It had been a week since I caught Erin in the act... of doing absolutely nothing. Speaking of Erin, she told me that she treated me differently because she secretly had a crush on me. I was completely shocked, but I got over it. Now we're better friends. But I didn't return any of Pete's calls. Every time I tried to pick up my Sidekick, I was either getting a call from Shane about the movie deal or being distracted by Kitty, Erin, or Steven. It didn't help that I was still awkward about the whole situation.
But I was here now, and that's all that mattered. I had lifted my hand to knock a few times now, but I'd let it fall just as I'd picked it up again. Finally, after about seven attempts, I sighed and turned around, defeated. Just as I was about to turn into the driveway, I decided that I was being extremely childish, and headed back to his door.
Inside, a war raged inside of me as I, once again, prevented myself from telling Peter I was sorry.
Why the hell can't I just knock!?
You're scared to admit that you were wrong.
I'm here, aren't I?
Yeah, but you're scared he'll turn you away. Maybe because you never returned his... eighty-six-and-counting missed calls?
I was busy.
Obviously too busy for the man you love, right?
.... Forget it.
No sooner did I turn my back to the door did it open. A relieved smile broke my hopeless face as I quickly returned to the position I was in before that got me absolutely nowhere. Except...
... It wasn't Peter.
Lindsay came out of his house with a pink summer dress, a silver clutch, and silver flats, holding Peter's hand. He was laughing and had his head down as she was giggling in a flirty way and pulling him out of the house.
It would've been dragging if Peter was putting up the least bit of struggle....
Lindsay came to an abrupt halt and looked at me, her mouth agape, as though she were trying to think of an explanation. Before he knew what was going on, Peter had bumped into Lindsay, his head shooting up in surprise. When he caught sight of my shocked face, his face fell immediately.
"Audrey," he breathed.
"Umm..." I said awkwardly. "Hey... Pete.... Hi, Lindsay...."
They both stood still and I was determined to keep myself in check. I wasn't ready to make yet another scene.
"I guess I should...." I didn't finish my sentence. Instead, I pointed over my shoulder and, embarrassingly, I had trouble turning myself around.
"I'm gonna go," Lindsay told Peter. He nodded and they let go of each others' hand. I was already walking to my car on the sidewalk when Lindsay took the grass route to her's.
"Audrey." I heard Peter's footsteps quicken behind me, but I didn't want to turn around at the moment. In fact, I wanted to stomp on my own foot in stilletos for being so stupid in thinking that he both loved me and couldn't do better.
He told me both.
And I guess they were both lies.
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I got into my car and locked the doors before Peter could open it and talk to me. I was usually a rational person. But I guess when you've taken one heartbreak, you can't necessarily handle another in the same week. Even if the first didn't turn out to be so cruel.
I sat in my seat with my eyes pointed down to my lap, where my hands folded themselves neatly, as Pete began palming my window loudly. I could hear an occasional, muffled, "Audge," but I ignored it. I couldn't talk to him right now, but I didn't want to leave like a coward. So I sat in my parked car in the same position for about ten minutes, letting Pete cool off. Surprisingly, he didn't abandon the futile attempt at trying to talk to me. He just lost a bit of energy after a while.
When I heard him panting from all the yelling and hitting he was doing, I looked over and saw him sweating. He put so much effort into trying get me to think sensibly when all he had to do was calm down. I never liked talking to him when he was in a bad mood.
Next time, he shouldn't get caught in such a compromising position.
Next time he shouldn't be in such a compromising position.
I don't know. I'm beginning to think that we don't mesh as well as we think we do....
But I was here now, and that's all that mattered. I had lifted my hand to knock a few times now, but I'd let it fall just as I'd picked it up again. Finally, after about seven attempts, I sighed and turned around, defeated. Just as I was about to turn into the driveway, I decided that I was being extremely childish, and headed back to his door.
Inside, a war raged inside of me as I, once again, prevented myself from telling Peter I was sorry.
Why the hell can't I just knock!?
You're scared to admit that you were wrong.
I'm here, aren't I?
Yeah, but you're scared he'll turn you away. Maybe because you never returned his... eighty-six-and-counting missed calls?
I was busy.
Obviously too busy for the man you love, right?
.... Forget it.
No sooner did I turn my back to the door did it open. A relieved smile broke my hopeless face as I quickly returned to the position I was in before that got me absolutely nowhere. Except...
... It wasn't Peter.
Lindsay came out of his house with a pink summer dress, a silver clutch, and silver flats, holding Peter's hand. He was laughing and had his head down as she was giggling in a flirty way and pulling him out of the house.
It would've been dragging if Peter was putting up the least bit of struggle....
Lindsay came to an abrupt halt and looked at me, her mouth agape, as though she were trying to think of an explanation. Before he knew what was going on, Peter had bumped into Lindsay, his head shooting up in surprise. When he caught sight of my shocked face, his face fell immediately.
"Audrey," he breathed.
"Umm..." I said awkwardly. "Hey... Pete.... Hi, Lindsay...."
They both stood still and I was determined to keep myself in check. I wasn't ready to make yet another scene.
"I guess I should...." I didn't finish my sentence. Instead, I pointed over my shoulder and, embarrassingly, I had trouble turning myself around.
"I'm gonna go," Lindsay told Peter. He nodded and they let go of each others' hand. I was already walking to my car on the sidewalk when Lindsay took the grass route to her's.
"Audrey." I heard Peter's footsteps quicken behind me, but I didn't want to turn around at the moment. In fact, I wanted to stomp on my own foot in stilletos for being so stupid in thinking that he both loved me and couldn't do better.
He told me both.
And I guess they were both lies.
------------------------------------------------------
I got into my car and locked the doors before Peter could open it and talk to me. I was usually a rational person. But I guess when you've taken one heartbreak, you can't necessarily handle another in the same week. Even if the first didn't turn out to be so cruel.
I sat in my seat with my eyes pointed down to my lap, where my hands folded themselves neatly, as Pete began palming my window loudly. I could hear an occasional, muffled, "Audge," but I ignored it. I couldn't talk to him right now, but I didn't want to leave like a coward. So I sat in my parked car in the same position for about ten minutes, letting Pete cool off. Surprisingly, he didn't abandon the futile attempt at trying to talk to me. He just lost a bit of energy after a while.
When I heard him panting from all the yelling and hitting he was doing, I looked over and saw him sweating. He put so much effort into trying get me to think sensibly when all he had to do was calm down. I never liked talking to him when he was in a bad mood.
Next time, he shouldn't get caught in such a compromising position.
Next time he shouldn't be in such a compromising position.
I don't know. I'm beginning to think that we don't mesh as well as we think we do....