I'm Supposed To Love You

Peter stood about a foot away from my door, his hands on his hips, taking deep breaths and staring at me. I stared right back, of course, and we both were very still. It was as though we would never see each other again if we moved.

Then he sighed and walked back up to my window, tapping it lightly. "Audrey," he said. His muffled voice reached my ears and broke my heart because I have never heard him speak with such want as he did now. "Please.... Just come out."

I shook my head stubbornly and didn't bother to hide the frustrated tears that were sliding down my cheeks. "Audrey," he said again. "At least open the window."

I covered my mouth with my hand and faced the wheel, my other hand slowly reaching for the button on the door. The window lowered itself, and it seemed like forever when it really didn't even take five seconds. Pete's hands found their way on the door where the window once was and I shook my head while the tears were becoming stronger. Soon, I covered my face with both my hands as Peter stood silently.

It didn't take long before I was actually breaking down. Pete unlocked my door through the open window and took me into his arms, carefully sliding into my seat and placing me on his lap. Every space in my mind was screaming for me to do something that would get him out of the car, but my body wouldn't budge. I simply continued crying into Pete's chest as though it wasn't him that was breaking me down. His hand flowed through my hair as the other rubbed my back and he quietly hummed in my ear. The tune wasn't too familiar, but it was soothing, like he made it up as he went along and made sure it sounded perfect. If he did, it worked. I was sobbing, yet I felt like he'd never let me go. I felt safe....

When I stopped crying, I wiped my eyes and sniffed, making sure I didn't look too helpless. I looked up to meet Pete's eyes and found that he was tearing up too. I hung my head in shame before quickly picking it back up and wiping a tear from his cheek. He looked surprised, but he shook it off and leaned in to kiss me. For a moment, I forgot every reason for my sobbing fit and began to lean into him.

When our lips met, it felt foreign. Maybe it was because we hadn't done this in a week. But whatever the reason, we soon started to roam each other's body with our hands. When Pete's fingers teased the bottom of my shirt, I freaked out and pulled away, opening the door and shooting out of my car. I reached the side of the car before I slid down to sit against my car and cry. I cried into my knees while Peter slowly got out the driver's seat, creeping over to me and crouching to meet my eye level. "Audrey," he said softly. "What's wrong?"

I looked up at him and stopped crying. My eyes were screaming, "Unbelievable!"

"What's wrong? What's WRONG!?"

Pete started to back away from me as I shot up and began to yell at him. "YOU are 'what's wrong', Peter! You can't fuck around with me like this!"

That's when he met me at his feet and defended himself. "Oh! So I can't try to comfort my girlfriend when she's crying, but you can miss all of my calls and not call me back for an entire week!?"

"That's not what I'm talking about Pete! You were about to take Lindsay out when I'm trying to apologize for how stupid I was being!"

"I'm sorry for trying to entertain my friend after her boyfriend breaks up with her!"

"She should be used to it," I spat.

Peter pursed his lips as I continued. "She didn't look upset while she was giggling and holding your hand!"

"She was taking me to the car because I wasn't going to go!"

"Funny. You didn't seem to be struggling at all!"

"We were fucking around!"

"REALLY!?"

"Audrey, you know what I mean! How could you accuse me of cheating on you when I remind you every day of how much I love you!?"

I opened my mouth to spit back a response, but closed it in defeat as I realized how petty I was being. Obviously noticing my lack of words, Peter put his hand to his head and sighed. Then he put one hand on my shoulder and rubbed it in circles.

I didn't have any anger left in me. All I had was shame. I walked into Peter's arms as he wrapped them around me and stroked my hair. I hugged him to me and shut my eyes, simply enjoying the moment.

"Audrey," he said. "Don't second guess what we have. It'll be the end of it, and I don't know if I could live without knowing you're out there somewhere thinking of me."

"Do you mean it?" It was a miracle he heard it because it was basically a mumble in his chest.

"Yeah, babe."

I smiled and looked up at him. "Pete," I said. "What are you doing to me?"

He laughed and put my head back on his chest. "I could ask you the same thing," he said, although it sounded like he was directing it to himself.

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Another great year with Peter passed and we've been weaving through the tabloids like nobody's business. It was amazing how clueless the journalists of these redundant magazines were. Especially since I was at every one of Fall Out Boy's local L.A. shows. Even when I was out of the state filming, I'd play them over and over on my I-Pod. And it was cute the way he'd recite a line from one of my movies at the cheesiest moments. But that was one of the reasons I loved him.

It was May, and I was backstage at one of his shows with Kitty and her brother Sean while they finished "Dead on Arrival" of their second set. Patrick was completely drenched in sweat as he started talking to the audience. "We don't usually do this," he said. "But there's something Pete needs to say."

Instead of talking into his mic, they started playing "G.I.N.A.S.F.S", which was a song that Pete told me I inspired him to write. When I let the lyrics invade my ears, I closed my eyes and screamed the lyrics, although no one could hear me over Pete's bass amp that was right next to us.

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Right when they were done playing, Pete walked to the mic and said, "Now, Patrick said I had something to say. He was wrong. I've got something to ask."

The crowd roared as he smiled and lowered his hood as he put down his bass and walked over to Kitty, Sean, and me. He took my hand and dragged me onto the stage while I tried to dig my heels into the ground, not wanting to be in front of a so many people when they came to see Fall Out Boy.

"Pete!" I screamed and smiled as he picked my up over his shoulder and carried me onto the stage. He turned to Patrick and told him to spank me, but before he could, Joe came up and hit his guitar to my ass. It didn't hurt as much as it looked like, but I laughed so hard it seemed like I was at home with the guys. Then Dirty came from the other side of the stage and took me from Pete and ran around giggling while I screamed with laughter. He set me down and took out a small box from his pocket.

"Look," he said. "Pete's an awesome guy. But you got him whipped."

I laughed and looked at Pete, who shrugged.

"As much as I want Pete for myself," he continued. "I'm giving him to you, since you 'make him happy'."

He motioned quotations and rolled his eyes as he said it, making me laugh harder.

"So," he said. "What would you say if I told you he needs you?"

He handed me his mic and I hesitated. "I-I'd say I know he does."

I looked over to him and smiled while he puckered his lips to me. I rolled my eyes and grinned even wider before turning back to Dirty.

"I'm glad you know," he smiled. "Alright. Now, could you live with this guy? I mean, he's fucking ugly." He pointed over his shoulder to Pete and the crowd booed playfully. I laughed as Pete came up to us and smacked Dirty in the back of the head, taking the box from his hand. Dirty mumbled something incoherently and walked away rubbing his head as Pete held the mic to his lips. "What that dumbass was trying to say is that I love you and I can't live without you."

The crowd simultaneously let out an, "Aww".

"Audrey," he said. "Will you spend the rest of your life with me?"

He opened the box and revealed an engagement ring. It had a white gold band and small diamonds encrusted in it. A bigger diamond sat atop the entire band and sparkled happily in the light of the arena. I gasped and put a hand to my mouth to keep the delighted scream from leaving it. Tears formed in my eyes as I tried to breathe, but it wasn't working. I let my hand fall limp to my side and opened and closed my mouth like a fish out of water.

At first, Peter's eyes gleamed with giddyness, but now he looked nervous, obviously thinking I was going to reject him....

"Yes," I squeaked.

He looked at me like he thought he heard me wrong as I nodded my head violently. "Yes," I said louder.

"Yes! YES!" I screamed and jumped into his arms as he spun me around. Then Patrick went up to his microphone and said, "Peter's gonna be a daddy!"

Pete stopped spinning me around and set me down as we both furrowed our brows at him. "Just kidding," he said.

I laughed and looked down to see Pete's hand searching to hold mine. When our fingers intertwined, I looked back up at Pete with a huge smile on my face and tears in my eyes. He turned his body to face me and wiped my cheek with his thumb as he caressed my face.

"I love you," I choked out.

"I love you, too," he replied.

I love happy endings.

Haha. Me too.