I'm Supposed To Love You

Kitty drove us home that night, as I continued with my dazed state. At one point, she looked over to me and asked: "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said, smiling. That's when I realized I shouldn't have been smiling. Really, I was caught in the middle of a love triangle, which consisted of two guys I barely even knew.

You're so screwed.

You shouldn't be so pompous about it. If I'm screwed, so are you.

But I'm in control of myself. You're the physical and emotional part of yourself. I'm the mental.

Of course you are.

You'd better watch what you say to me, I can erase any knowledge you have of anything.

Like the Cold War?

Like the Cold War. By the way, what was the Cold War?

Umm... I don't know.

Haha.

You bastard!

Your fault. Now pay attention, I think Kitty's trying to talk to you.

"Hello?" Sure enough, Kitty was trying to talk to me. I snapped back into reality and looked at her concerned face.

"What?" I asked.

"I think I need to take you to the hospital. You're not looking too good."

"No! I don't need to go to a hospital! I'm fine!"

Perfectly okay.

Really?

Wow, you fooled yourself. You're pretty good at this.

"Alright," Kitty continued. "But I don't want to wake up to see you passed out on the couch with a concussion, you got that?"

"Of course, mother." I rolled my eyes and she glared at me. "I'm sorry. It's just--- you know I hate hospitals."

"But they can help you."

"No they can't."

Yeah, they couldn't help Grandma, or Uncle Darren. Hospitals are merely a place for you to die.

Yeah, I know.

"Audrey," Kitty started. She couldn't finish because she had nothing to say, so she continued to drive home. I had my forehead pressed against the glass as I watched the buildings and lights flash by me. It was liike that until we got home.

As soon as Kitty unlocked the door, I heard the phone ringing. She rushed to get it and picked it up. "Hello?"

I heard a voice on the other line, but I couldn't make it out into words.

"Oh, okay. What are we going to do? ... Uh-huh. Yeah, I know, but how is she gonna start the film? ... They're gonna what!? No! I won't let them! Why would they say that!? ... URGH! I'll have her call you back."

I looked to Kitty, waiting for a message. She closed her eyes and put one hand over he eyes as the other found its way to her hip. She sighed. "Audrey," she started. "You need to get a hold of those guys."

"Which ones?" I knew full well which ones she was talking about.

"Peter and Brendon! It leaked to the tabloids that Brendon hit you, so they made up this whole story about you cheating on him with Peter. I guess according to the story, you've been secretly dating him for years, and you were wanted in New York for illegally dating a minor. But you payed the judge off and continued dating him. And tonight, he caught you with Peter, whom you've had an affair with since A Fever You Can't Sweat Out got big! How come I didn't know any of this!?" She was being sarcastic.

"So I guess I'm a money-grubbing whore, right?"

"Yep!" She was so angry that her sarcasm was biting.

"What are we gonna do?" I asked.

"Audrey, I really don't have time for this. You need to call Shane back. He's expecting you to. I'm going to bed. I might as well try to forget tonight."

"Kitty, are you mad at me?"

She turned to me and shook her head. "No, but why do you have to be a celebrity? You could've acted without being one."

"I can't help which movies go big and which don't. I'm sorry. But look at it this way, if I wasn't famous, you wouldn't have met Ryan."

She was headed for her bedroom when she stopped and poked her head around the corner. She smiled at me and nodded. "Yeah, but whatever." She then continued walking skipping to her room.

I grinned and rolled my eyes as I got my cell out to call Shane. I dialed and waited for him to pick up. "Hello?" I heard on the other line.

"Hey!" I said.

"Audrey! Thank God! Did Katherine tell you everything?"

"Yeah, what are we gonna do?"

"I don't know. But you shouldn't obsess over it. It's just paparazzi bullshit. Don't worry about it. If it gets out of hand, I'll take care of it." I swear, I have the best agent ever.

"Thanks, Shane. That really means so much. Now I remember why I hired you." I smiled into the phone as he said: "Damn straight!"

"Alright," I started, my eyes already drooping. "Well, I've had a long night, so I think I might just go to bed right now. I'll talk to you later, bye."

"Later, sugar." He always called me sugar, and it always made me smile.

I hung up and headed to my bedroom, swaying to the sleepiness that was sweeping over my body. I reached the door and collapsed on my bed. I looked over to the clock:

12:39

Why are you so tired?

Oh, I don't know. Maybe the whole love triangle thing finally got to me. Or maybe it's because I got punched in the face!

Tou-chy! Somebody's cranky. You should sleep.

Yeah. Trying to do that here.

Oh, right. Night!

I woke up the next morning at seven-thirty, and shrugged off the sheets because I knew any attempt at more sleep would be futile. I got up and headed to the bathroom. After I got showered, I put on my clothes and some mascara on before walking out the door in my Uggs. I skipped the trip to the car because the bakery I was headed to was only a block away. I had my sunglasses on to cover the bruise on my left eye...

Wonder how you got that.

... and to block out the morning sun, which was already burning my chapped lips. My ponytail swung from side to side as I walked briskly to the bakery.

When I got to the door, I swung it open and waved to Jenny, my favorite worker. "Good morning, Jenny."

Jenny smiled and waved. "Morning, Audrey! We have a new muffin this week."

"Yeah? What's in it?"

"Chocolate chips and raspberries."

I crinkled my nose and said: "How about just the usual?"

"Sure! I'll be right back!"

She headed to the back to get my usual. It was my banana-nut and fudge muffin. I knew it had a bunch of calories, but it's not like I care. People can say whatever they want, I like my muffins.

As I waited, I turned and leaned my elbows on the counter. I didn't look up, but I heard the bakery's bell jingle. Jenny rushed back to the counter behind me and greeted the customer.

"Good morning, Mr. Wentz."

---------------------

I whipped my head up and sure enough, Peter was smirking down at me. It wasn't a pompous smirk, but a good-to-see-you smirk.

"Good morning, Jenny." He said it like he was trying to be nice. "I'll get the banana nut and a couple blueberry muffins. Someone has a craving back at the hotel."

"Okay," she smiled. She turned her head to the back of mine[[ since I was still facing the door and leaning on the counter]], and said: "Audrey, Jazz wants to know how many muffins you wanted."

"Two's good," I replied, without turning my head. I was side-staring at Pete, while he straight-on stared back.

Jenny headed back and Peter smiled. "You know, it's not normal to wear sunglasses indoors."

"I wouldn't need to wear them if I hadn't gotten punched."

He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck while looking down. "I'm sorry about that."

"Brendon already apologized." Oh God. I sounded somewhat breathless. Yet, standing next to Peter, I was on the verge of shaking with nervousness.

"Oh," he said, slightly crestfallen. "Yeah, he apologized to me, too. But I have a feeling he didn't give the same apology to the both of us. I know I sure as hell didn't get a kiss."

I froze. "What?"

"He told me he couldn't help himself. But there's something about him that you need to---."

"Audrey, here are your muffins."

I turned to Jenny and took my muffins gently from her outstretched hands. "Thanks a lot. Here."

I handed her a ten and told her to keep the change while heading to the door. Then I remembered Peter getting cut off, so I opened the door and waited on the side. A few minutes later, he came out and lowered his own sunglasses. When he spotted me, he smiled and turned to me. "I can't stay," he started. "Right now, I mean. I have a month left of vacation, and I'm leaving in a couple weeks for Chicago to see my mom. So, I don't know if we'll bump into each other again, and I was wondering---."

I had taken my pen out of my purse and flipped his hand over so his palm was facing me. The feeling of his skin burned me from my cheeks to my knees, and my hand was shaking as I wrote down the simple digits that were my phone number, but I got it done. As I wrote, I started explaining my situation. "I'm leaving to film in a week, so this is my cell." I looked up and smiled. "Feel free to whore the number in your address book."

He chuckled and looked at his palm. "Where are you filming?" He asked while still staring at his hand.

"I'll be in Kentucky for a couple months, then we head out to Canterbury for a month. After that, I get to come home for a couple weeks."

"Oh," he said. "I'll be in L.A. to supervise a recording for a couple bands in about two months. I'll have to stay for another three months to scout a couple bands I've been looking at."

"Ah, I see."

"And I was hoping to see you."

I blushed and said: "You will."

I turned to walk away when he took my hand and stopped me. "I kissed a stranger last night. And the morning after, I don't even get a hug after seeing her."

I stood still to regain my composure before I spun around slowly, smiling slightly. I hugged him. I prolonged it, actually. I liked the feeling of his hands on my back and the scent of his cologne filling my mind. Then I pulled back, and I didn't think about it. I swiftly took his face in my hands and kissed him.

When I pulled back again, I saw his eyes were still shut. I smiled and bit my lip as his eyes fluttered open, revealing his chocolate brown irises. Before my heart would be able to skip beats, I turned around and jogged away, Uggs and all.