Memories

Not a day goes by that I don’t think about you, you’ve left this mark on my heart that will not disappear. The taste of your lips is still on my own, I can still feel your warmth against my skin, your soft whispers are still echoing through my ears. Every night I close my eyes I gaze at the moon and I wonder about you, what you could be doing at that very moment. Every full moon, I always sit outside like we used to and wrap a blanket around my body, hoping that one day you’ll come back to me.

My eyes fluttered opened to the bright yellow sun shining through my window, I yawn and stretch my arms, and I didn’t want to get up. I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed, but I couldn’t possibly take the day off, I had so much to do. I walk to the bathroom and turn on the shower, there was no doubt in my mind that I was a mess and that last night did not help.

I stared into the mirror let my ashy blond curls fall from my braid; my face had a tired expression, bags underneath my eyes, my eyes bloodshot. I yawned once more before removing every article of clothing; I turned to the shower, quickly stepped in and let the hot water hit my body.

I grunted the headache from the night before had returned and it came back with a vengeance, this was not a good way to start my day. I softly rubbed my temples trying to decline the pain, I sighed it wasn’t working as I’d expected. My shower didn’t last more than fifteen minutes; I stepped out draping a towel around my body, I walked to the mirror and pulled my wet hair into a bun.

Wiping the steam from the mirror I took a look at my reflection once more before turning to the door. I wiped my teary eyes; more memories were flooding my mind, of his face, that’s all I could picture since his departure.

Oh, why did you leave me? Why did you have to go and make other people happy? Weren’t you happy with your life, with me? Was I not good enough for you?

Shaking my thoughts away I proceeded to pick up my undergarments sliding them on with ease, soon after I grabbed one of my favorite skirts it was white with black floral print; I took my black belt and slipped it on. I saw a white top and slid it on, today was going to be good for me, nothing could ruin this day for me. I stood in front of the mirror, one might say that I was a narcissist person, but I stared into the mirror because I saw no happiness in my reflection. All my happiness left when he left. I closed my eyes, trying to think of happier thoughts, I opened them again realizing that wishful thinking wasn’t going to get me anywhere. I slipped on some black high heels and grabbed a necklace draping it on my swan like neck, I grabbed simple earrings and a bracelet putting jewelry wouldn’t hurt me.

I looked at a small red box in front of me, I knew what was in that box and I only opened it a few times. I didn’t want to feel anymore pain that I already feel, but today seemed like a special occasion to open it. I stood in front of that maroon velvet box, I slowly opened it, taking out this beautiful charm bracelet. I picked it up slowly and stared at it for a moment or two then kissed it, this was the gift, he had given me, before he left. I took a deep breath trying my best not to let any tears escape my sad eyes.

There was make up waiting for me, I had no time to let out my feelings not now, I blow dried my hair then curled my blonde curls into waves. Now, I’m no one to brag, I have a very self-esteem, especially since my loved one left me, a few handful of people have said that I was beautiful. I wished how I could believe that, I wasn’t so sure that I was; I grabbed the foundation and brush and applied some to my skin.

All for the sake of beauty.

The three eye shadows were waiting for me to begin applying them on my almond-shaped eyes; I swiftly grabbed a brush and did so with ease. The black eyeliner came next, soon after was the rosy pink lipstick, and matching nail polish. I enjoyed dressing up and looking pretty, I’ve always wanted to look presentable for everyone. I wasn’t sure if it was because I am so insecure or because I was not comfortable enough going out looking the way I do.

I sprayed a splashed some floral perfume on myself before grabbing a cardigan and slipping it in my long stringy arms, as one might call them. I looked in the mirror once again, making sure I didn’t over do it or that it wasn’t smudged or not enough. In the end it was fine, I picked up my black bag and walked out the door.

He’s out there, I know it. He’s out there; he’s all over the music news. I’m happy for him, really I am, I just wish he hadn’t left me. It sounds selfish believe me I know, but he was my life, I gave him everything I could offer. I couldn’t find the strength to tell him to stay, I had to let him go to make his dreams come true.