Status: Complete
Butterfly Kisses
Butterfly Kisses
Please excuse the time bending I did in the fic regarding when the episode aired and the football episode Barney and Ted watch. Thank you and enjoy! :)
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"Really, dude? A butterfly?" Barney asks incredulously.
Barney reached up a hand to pull up Ted's sweater to look at it again. The purple was especially shiny. It was so...not Ted. And yet it suited him. It was the perfect token to remember a wild night by. And maybe start some wild nights when a hot girl was taken aback by the statement the butterfly left. It said: 'I'm Ted Mosby and I am comfortably straight and wear this to show just how macho I am. So deal with it!' At least, girls usually came up with some crazy crap like that when something was obviously ugly and unfortunate. Kind of like when they want to adopt the one dog in the litter that's missing a paw because it is the most different and "needs" the most love even though it probably had its paw ripped off in some fight over a bone in a back ally somewhere.
"I was drunk! I was being spontaneous! So just leave me alone about it, ok? Please," begged Ted, already sick of being teased.
Barney let go of Ted's shirt with a teasing grin before going into the kitchen for a beer.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, bro!"
And maybe it was that kind of garbage that made him all hot and bothered just seeing the tattoo again. Like maybe he was just so used to getting turned on by girls with tramp stamps that it was only logical that he would get turned on seeing one on Ted's back because, really, butterflies are mostly definitely associated with girls and perhaps if Ted let his hair grow out and had on one of Robin's flowy tops and his jeans, then maybe, just maybe, Ted could pass as a girl by accident. And if Ted just happened to bend over in said flowy top, and the butterfly peeked over the top of his jeans, there might be a chance he could get away with making a crude comment and pass it off as not knowing that it was Ted in the lady outfit.
"What's taking so long, Barney? The game's about to start!" called Ted, flopping down on the couch and turning on the TV. He could hear crunching as Ted started in on a ceramic bowlful of popcorn.
"Oh, yeah, sorry. My mind was just wandering...you know...thinking about girls. Boobs."
Smooth, Stinson, real smooth.
Barney heard Ted do his naked lady laugh.
Crisis averted.
Barney placed the case of beer on the coffee table and settled in a spot on the couch that was an appropriate distance away from Ted so that no one would think he was homo. He thought that everything would be cool now that they were settled in to watch what was probably going to be a three hour long game of football against the Bears and the Packers, but this was just going to be one of those rare times Barney Stinson was wrong...
"Oh my God! Did you see that touchdown?" yelled Ted jumping up. "Aaron Rogers just threw it right to him! Even Urlacher couldn't stop 'im!"
His shirt hiked up each time he jumped in delight. Barney’s head nodded up and down watching the butterfly take flight each time a great pass was thrown or an interception was made. He suddenly had a strange desire to lick it.
“Barney?” Ted asked.
He noticed his friend was staring aimlessly. Ted wondered what he was thinking so seriously about.
“Are you ok, dude?”
Still no answer.
“Barney!”
He shook his head.
“Wha--? Did they win?”
Ted laughed.
“Geez, Swarley, what’s wrong with you today? It’s only second quarter.”
Barney’s cheeks reddened at the old nickname. He supposed Ted was trying to get some revenge teasing in before the night was over.
“Ummm, work’s been pretty busy. You know. Contracts, papers, files with the people and names in them…Football is cool,” he finished lamely.
He took a long swig of his beer.
Ted looked concerned. He grabbed the remote and switched off the television, plunging the apartment into silence as the cacophonous crowd exited the living room. Ted sat back down and Barney followed, nervously. Did Ted suspect?
“Talk to me Barney. What’s going on?”
Well, that answered that question.
“Nothing. And Ted, don’t you know it’s against the Bro Code to talk about feelings with other bros?”
Another drink.
“I’m not just another bro. I’m your friend. You can talk to me,” Ted prompted.
Barney stood up angrily. Why did he want to push it? Couldn’t Ted see that he did not want to talk about what was bothering him? What was he supposed to say? Gee, your tattoo is seriously hot and I get turned on when I see it and it’s making me want to get in your pants. Yeah, because that would go over well. And Ted would totally believe him…Right.
“I’m just gonna go. I told you I didn’t want to talk and now you’re just bugging me. See ya later, dude.”
He shrugged on his jacket.
“Barney, wait!”
Ted grabbed his arm.
“Why can’t you tell me? You’re really freaking me out. This isn’t like you.”
Barney yanked his arm out of Ted’s grasp.
“Because you wouldn’t understand!” he bellowed. “You wouldn’t get it! You’d just turn me away or make a joke and I wouldn’t be able to stand being treated that way, ok? That’s why I can’t tell you. So just shut up and mind your own goddamned business!”
The look of hurt surprise came over Ted’s face. His lips formed an ‘O’ as he tried and failed to think of something to say. He had never been yelled at by his friend before, especially when he was trying to help. Barney attempted to ignore how vulnerable his big brown eyes looked just then.
“Did I do something wrong?” Ted whispered, sounding almost afraid to even ask for fear of upsetting him again.
So Barney decided to wing it.
Before Ted knew it, he was being pressed back into the couch with Barney on top of him, kissing his shocked open mouth. Barney’s hands eagerly gripped his shoulders as he ground his hips down onto Ted’s groin. Of their own accord, Ted’s hands gripped Barney’s soft blonde hair until he finally had to pull off for air.
“Wh-what was that for?” Ted panted.
Barney dropped his head in embarrassment.
“You’ll just laugh…”
Ted picked up his chin.
“I promise I won’t.”
“It’s the tattoo, ok? It’s really, really hot and slutty. And I like it. Alot. There, I said it.”
Ted chuckled.
“Te-ed! You promised!”
“No, no,” he laughed quietly, “I just can’t believe you thought that would bother me. I mean, I’ve heard you go off about some pretty weird fetishes, so this tattoo thing is damn close to normal. My only other question is, why me? You do know I’m not a chick with tits, right?”
Barney sat back on the couch. Ted leaned up on his elbows.
“Yeah, but…look, I just can’t explain it. When I see someone who’s strong enough to get a tramp stamp and not be ashamed of it or not try to cover it, at least, male or female, it just…gets to me.”
He rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. His brow furrowed in thought. He came to a sudden realization.
“And you liked it, too? Dude, you just let me grind on you, and you don’t even care?”
“Don’t know, bro. You were upset…and yeah, I kinda liked it,” he admitted sheepishly.
Barney dug down deep to find some more courage.
“C-can I kiss you again, then? You don’t have to if you don’t want to…”
Ted wordlessly nodded his head. Barney lay back down over Ted carefully. He tilted his head down to gently touch his lips to Ted’s. Ted’s knees fell open as Barney settled between them. And yeah, Barney was making out with Ted on his couch. Holy shit. Ted ran his hands up under Barney’s shirt to feel all over his back; silky smooth, his spine bones prominent. Barney daringly moved his head down to his neck and sucked and Ted’s hips snapped up involuntarily. Ted let out a deep sigh.
Barney moved to unbutton Ted’s shirt, licking down his chest as more and more skin was available to him. Ted shucked his shirt off.
“Turn over?” Barney asked breathlessly.
Ted nodded and revealed his back and his butterfly tattoo to him. Barney moaned. He put his lips to it and licked it, making Ted hiss since the spot on his skin was still sore. And suddenly, Barney was flinging off his shirt and pants and was reaching around Ted to undo his belt buckle like he was on turbo drive.
“Barney, wait!” Ted pleaded.
He flipped back over.
“I’m not ready for that yet, ok? I mean, I don’t even know what this is…Do you see what I’m saying?” Ted asked, his pants tented to show his arousal.
As much as he wanted to ignore Ted and demand they do this, because he felt that at this point, he’d actually be able to convince him, he sees the point he had. He doesn’t want to rush into this and ruin what they have, or could have, together.
“Yeah…you’re right. I-I guess I should go and we can talk about this later?” Barney asked, grabbing his shirt from the floor.
“Of course. I’m always here for you, bro,” Ted assured him.
He helped Barney find his pants and tie. (He left his shoes at the door when he came in.) Ted walked him to the front door.
“So, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Barney asked.
“Yeah. I’ll call you tonight, ok?”
“Got it.”
Barney opened the door, but turned back around like he’s expecting something else to happen.
There’s an awkward moment where neither of them quite know how to say good-bye. A kiss? A hug? A handshake?
Ted broke the barrier by kissing Barney on the cheek.
“Cya.”
Barney smiled a little.
“Bye.”
Ted closed the door and walked back over to the couch, sitting down with a sigh. He had alot of thinking to do. But maybe, just maybe things wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe this is what he had been looking for all along and just never faced it or acknowledged it. Ted decided he was ready to find out.
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"Really, dude? A butterfly?" Barney asks incredulously.
Barney reached up a hand to pull up Ted's sweater to look at it again. The purple was especially shiny. It was so...not Ted. And yet it suited him. It was the perfect token to remember a wild night by. And maybe start some wild nights when a hot girl was taken aback by the statement the butterfly left. It said: 'I'm Ted Mosby and I am comfortably straight and wear this to show just how macho I am. So deal with it!' At least, girls usually came up with some crazy crap like that when something was obviously ugly and unfortunate. Kind of like when they want to adopt the one dog in the litter that's missing a paw because it is the most different and "needs" the most love even though it probably had its paw ripped off in some fight over a bone in a back ally somewhere.
"I was drunk! I was being spontaneous! So just leave me alone about it, ok? Please," begged Ted, already sick of being teased.
Barney let go of Ted's shirt with a teasing grin before going into the kitchen for a beer.
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, bro!"
And maybe it was that kind of garbage that made him all hot and bothered just seeing the tattoo again. Like maybe he was just so used to getting turned on by girls with tramp stamps that it was only logical that he would get turned on seeing one on Ted's back because, really, butterflies are mostly definitely associated with girls and perhaps if Ted let his hair grow out and had on one of Robin's flowy tops and his jeans, then maybe, just maybe, Ted could pass as a girl by accident. And if Ted just happened to bend over in said flowy top, and the butterfly peeked over the top of his jeans, there might be a chance he could get away with making a crude comment and pass it off as not knowing that it was Ted in the lady outfit.
"What's taking so long, Barney? The game's about to start!" called Ted, flopping down on the couch and turning on the TV. He could hear crunching as Ted started in on a ceramic bowlful of popcorn.
"Oh, yeah, sorry. My mind was just wandering...you know...thinking about girls. Boobs."
Smooth, Stinson, real smooth.
Barney heard Ted do his naked lady laugh.
Crisis averted.
Barney placed the case of beer on the coffee table and settled in a spot on the couch that was an appropriate distance away from Ted so that no one would think he was homo. He thought that everything would be cool now that they were settled in to watch what was probably going to be a three hour long game of football against the Bears and the Packers, but this was just going to be one of those rare times Barney Stinson was wrong...
"Oh my God! Did you see that touchdown?" yelled Ted jumping up. "Aaron Rogers just threw it right to him! Even Urlacher couldn't stop 'im!"
His shirt hiked up each time he jumped in delight. Barney’s head nodded up and down watching the butterfly take flight each time a great pass was thrown or an interception was made. He suddenly had a strange desire to lick it.
“Barney?” Ted asked.
He noticed his friend was staring aimlessly. Ted wondered what he was thinking so seriously about.
“Are you ok, dude?”
Still no answer.
“Barney!”
He shook his head.
“Wha--? Did they win?”
Ted laughed.
“Geez, Swarley, what’s wrong with you today? It’s only second quarter.”
Barney’s cheeks reddened at the old nickname. He supposed Ted was trying to get some revenge teasing in before the night was over.
“Ummm, work’s been pretty busy. You know. Contracts, papers, files with the people and names in them…Football is cool,” he finished lamely.
He took a long swig of his beer.
Ted looked concerned. He grabbed the remote and switched off the television, plunging the apartment into silence as the cacophonous crowd exited the living room. Ted sat back down and Barney followed, nervously. Did Ted suspect?
“Talk to me Barney. What’s going on?”
Well, that answered that question.
“Nothing. And Ted, don’t you know it’s against the Bro Code to talk about feelings with other bros?”
Another drink.
“I’m not just another bro. I’m your friend. You can talk to me,” Ted prompted.
Barney stood up angrily. Why did he want to push it? Couldn’t Ted see that he did not want to talk about what was bothering him? What was he supposed to say? Gee, your tattoo is seriously hot and I get turned on when I see it and it’s making me want to get in your pants. Yeah, because that would go over well. And Ted would totally believe him…Right.
“I’m just gonna go. I told you I didn’t want to talk and now you’re just bugging me. See ya later, dude.”
He shrugged on his jacket.
“Barney, wait!”
Ted grabbed his arm.
“Why can’t you tell me? You’re really freaking me out. This isn’t like you.”
Barney yanked his arm out of Ted’s grasp.
“Because you wouldn’t understand!” he bellowed. “You wouldn’t get it! You’d just turn me away or make a joke and I wouldn’t be able to stand being treated that way, ok? That’s why I can’t tell you. So just shut up and mind your own goddamned business!”
The look of hurt surprise came over Ted’s face. His lips formed an ‘O’ as he tried and failed to think of something to say. He had never been yelled at by his friend before, especially when he was trying to help. Barney attempted to ignore how vulnerable his big brown eyes looked just then.
“Did I do something wrong?” Ted whispered, sounding almost afraid to even ask for fear of upsetting him again.
So Barney decided to wing it.
Before Ted knew it, he was being pressed back into the couch with Barney on top of him, kissing his shocked open mouth. Barney’s hands eagerly gripped his shoulders as he ground his hips down onto Ted’s groin. Of their own accord, Ted’s hands gripped Barney’s soft blonde hair until he finally had to pull off for air.
“Wh-what was that for?” Ted panted.
Barney dropped his head in embarrassment.
“You’ll just laugh…”
Ted picked up his chin.
“I promise I won’t.”
“It’s the tattoo, ok? It’s really, really hot and slutty. And I like it. Alot. There, I said it.”
Ted chuckled.
“Te-ed! You promised!”
“No, no,” he laughed quietly, “I just can’t believe you thought that would bother me. I mean, I’ve heard you go off about some pretty weird fetishes, so this tattoo thing is damn close to normal. My only other question is, why me? You do know I’m not a chick with tits, right?”
Barney sat back on the couch. Ted leaned up on his elbows.
“Yeah, but…look, I just can’t explain it. When I see someone who’s strong enough to get a tramp stamp and not be ashamed of it or not try to cover it, at least, male or female, it just…gets to me.”
He rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. His brow furrowed in thought. He came to a sudden realization.
“And you liked it, too? Dude, you just let me grind on you, and you don’t even care?”
“Don’t know, bro. You were upset…and yeah, I kinda liked it,” he admitted sheepishly.
Barney dug down deep to find some more courage.
“C-can I kiss you again, then? You don’t have to if you don’t want to…”
Ted wordlessly nodded his head. Barney lay back down over Ted carefully. He tilted his head down to gently touch his lips to Ted’s. Ted’s knees fell open as Barney settled between them. And yeah, Barney was making out with Ted on his couch. Holy shit. Ted ran his hands up under Barney’s shirt to feel all over his back; silky smooth, his spine bones prominent. Barney daringly moved his head down to his neck and sucked and Ted’s hips snapped up involuntarily. Ted let out a deep sigh.
Barney moved to unbutton Ted’s shirt, licking down his chest as more and more skin was available to him. Ted shucked his shirt off.
“Turn over?” Barney asked breathlessly.
Ted nodded and revealed his back and his butterfly tattoo to him. Barney moaned. He put his lips to it and licked it, making Ted hiss since the spot on his skin was still sore. And suddenly, Barney was flinging off his shirt and pants and was reaching around Ted to undo his belt buckle like he was on turbo drive.
“Barney, wait!” Ted pleaded.
He flipped back over.
“I’m not ready for that yet, ok? I mean, I don’t even know what this is…Do you see what I’m saying?” Ted asked, his pants tented to show his arousal.
As much as he wanted to ignore Ted and demand they do this, because he felt that at this point, he’d actually be able to convince him, he sees the point he had. He doesn’t want to rush into this and ruin what they have, or could have, together.
“Yeah…you’re right. I-I guess I should go and we can talk about this later?” Barney asked, grabbing his shirt from the floor.
“Of course. I’m always here for you, bro,” Ted assured him.
He helped Barney find his pants and tie. (He left his shoes at the door when he came in.) Ted walked him to the front door.
“So, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Barney asked.
“Yeah. I’ll call you tonight, ok?”
“Got it.”
Barney opened the door, but turned back around like he’s expecting something else to happen.
There’s an awkward moment where neither of them quite know how to say good-bye. A kiss? A hug? A handshake?
Ted broke the barrier by kissing Barney on the cheek.
“Cya.”
Barney smiled a little.
“Bye.”
Ted closed the door and walked back over to the couch, sitting down with a sigh. He had alot of thinking to do. But maybe, just maybe things wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe this is what he had been looking for all along and just never faced it or acknowledged it. Ted decided he was ready to find out.