Ugly Duckling

To everyone who has ever meant anything to me, I am sorry.

I cannot handle it anymore.

I told him I loved him.

And he didn't say it back.

Just as I had feared,

it was all too good to be true.

I had been doing good.

It's been so long since I've tried to take my life....

But now it's finally time.

It is finally time for me to, well...

Die.

Mom, if you are reading this, just know that you are the best mother in the entire world. There is not a thing you have done wrong to me, and I love you.

Bill, you may not be my biological father, but I still consider you my dad, even though I never once called you that. You came into my life and helped our family in the time we needed it most. I respect you for that.

Jesse, you hurt me so much, and I am sure you know that. But you are my sister - step or not - and a good one when you try. Just realize that this time, it wasn't your fault.

Nora, you are the best friend a girl could ever ask for. You understood me, helped me get over my need for dying. You are probably clueless as to why I finally broke. Just know that it was him, not you.

Vince, I didn't talk to you much, but by the sounds and looks of it, you are a pretty nice guy. There are things you don't know about me, but I am sure Nora will fill you in.

Noah, I loved you. I loved you so much, and I thought you loved me to. When you didn't say anything back to me, I felt something inside of me completely shatter. You broke my heart, Noah. But even though this may be a surprise, it wasn't all your fault. It was mine for falling in love so quickly. Don't live life thinking you're the reason I'm gone.

And last but not least, Daddy. It all started with you. From that first night when you put your hands down my pants before saying goodnight. From the way your fingers explored inside of my underwear when tucking me in. From the very first time you raped me, after the night at the bowling alley. It all began with you, and ultimately, you are the soul reason for my pain. I hope you feel proud of yourself for turning me into what I am - or was - now.

I am an Ugly Duckling.

And heaven is no place for that.

Did I make you hurt yourself, Sweetie?
No, Daddy. You made me ugly.

Goodbye forever,

Brogan Kassarian.