Status: On hiatus.
How to Date Alex Gaskarth
Jack Barakat.
I am going to fuck shit up in this house. I am Jack Barakat and will find only the absolute best for Alex. You know what they say: a friend in need is a friend indeed. I refuse to rest until all of the whores, liars, bitches, and weirdos are booted off and all of the real, respectable women are left.
With Lisa's help, this job was going to be made slightly easier. But hell, we all know that this show isn't going to be a picnic. Not going to lie, my nerves were already shot.
Not just anyone will satisfy Alex Gaskarth and not just anyone will be able to put up with his weird, corny ass. I hope these girls will be ready to fight to the death and figure out how to win Alex's heart. It is my personal mission to help Alex find happiness, and by God, I'm going to complete this mission!
While in this house, I am to be Alex's eyes and ears. I will befriend these girls and make them think I've got their back. Everything that is said will be told to Alex. Sure, it sounds like something bitchy high school girls would do, but fuck it, bitchy high school girls know what they're doing.
My cell phone rang, playing the song "Slob On My Knob" by Three 6 Mafia, knocking and scattering my thoughts. I knew instantly who was calling, seeing as "Slob On My Knob" is only played when Alex calls. Picking it up, I said "Yes, lover?" into the phone.
"Hey, sexy man. Uh, I kind of need you to go pick up another girl. Her name's Zillah Houston. Her plane should land in about thirty minutes, thanks so much, man, you know I really appreciate you doing this for me," he said. True admiration and appreciation seeped through the phone.
I sighed heavily. "Of course, man, I'll leave now," I replied. Not waiting for his reply, I closed my phone and picked up my car keys. This was the fourth bitch I'd be picking up today. I was getting tired of running back and forth, stopping here and there. But hey, I promised Alex I'd be his bitch this entire time. A promise is a promise.
Before I left, I grabbed my "Bitches who love Alex Gaskarth" sign, which stood by the door. Did you really think that I was going to take the time to make signs for each individual girl? Fuck no! I can't even spell half of their names. Especially this girl's name. Zillah Houston. She must be foreign, I said to myself as I walked out the door.
With Lisa's help, this job was going to be made slightly easier. But hell, we all know that this show isn't going to be a picnic. Not going to lie, my nerves were already shot.
Not just anyone will satisfy Alex Gaskarth and not just anyone will be able to put up with his weird, corny ass. I hope these girls will be ready to fight to the death and figure out how to win Alex's heart. It is my personal mission to help Alex find happiness, and by God, I'm going to complete this mission!
While in this house, I am to be Alex's eyes and ears. I will befriend these girls and make them think I've got their back. Everything that is said will be told to Alex. Sure, it sounds like something bitchy high school girls would do, but fuck it, bitchy high school girls know what they're doing.
My cell phone rang, playing the song "Slob On My Knob" by Three 6 Mafia, knocking and scattering my thoughts. I knew instantly who was calling, seeing as "Slob On My Knob" is only played when Alex calls. Picking it up, I said "Yes, lover?" into the phone.
"Hey, sexy man. Uh, I kind of need you to go pick up another girl. Her name's Zillah Houston. Her plane should land in about thirty minutes, thanks so much, man, you know I really appreciate you doing this for me," he said. True admiration and appreciation seeped through the phone.
I sighed heavily. "Of course, man, I'll leave now," I replied. Not waiting for his reply, I closed my phone and picked up my car keys. This was the fourth bitch I'd be picking up today. I was getting tired of running back and forth, stopping here and there. But hey, I promised Alex I'd be his bitch this entire time. A promise is a promise.
Before I left, I grabbed my "Bitches who love Alex Gaskarth" sign, which stood by the door. Did you really think that I was going to take the time to make signs for each individual girl? Fuck no! I can't even spell half of their names. Especially this girl's name. Zillah Houston. She must be foreign, I said to myself as I walked out the door.
♠ ♠ ♠
Short, short, short again. Alex and Jack's chapters will get longer, I do promise you guys that. It's Alex again, by the way. I'll be writing the parts of Alex, Jack, and another girl named Zillah Houston, who will be on the show. I hope you enjoy my short chapters, as I really love you all who read / comment / subscribe.New readers, commenters, and subscribers are always loved and appreciated!
Love always,
Alex. <3