Smile When Your Heart Breaks

We dragged him into a closet and hog-tied him for being a creeper. Well, to be honest, I don't know what it means to hog-tie somebody. But we should have. We did stuff him into a storage room, though, and I wrote "PERV" in big, bold letters on his forehead with my very potent lip stain. We dusted off our hands and arrived only slightly late to our massages. We apologized, but the two sexy masseuses didn't mind.

*&%$#@!

Little known to us, Quil was snickering not far down the hall. What a dumbass, getting caught, he chortled. He headed for the exit, then froze in his tracks. Emily was at the receptionist desk, laughing cheerily with a woman and holding a bundle in her arms. He walked over to get a closer look, curiosity peaked, and saw a beautiful baby girl. At at that moment, her eyes caught his and gravity was no longer holding him down. She was.

*&%$#@!

Jared, who had been the only pack member missing during my briefing from earlier, caught up at Leah and Seth's that night.

Seth recounted in great detail, my trying morning. And every ridiculous detail of odd happenings sense then. That kid was a bigger gossip than an entire horde of old ladies combined- he could make millions on a TV show. "...so Delia now knows about us, fainted twice, Leah went to a spa, Embry got caught sneaking into the spa and is now MIA, and Quil revealed himself when he walked over to Emily an imprinted on a baby."

I was walking back from the kitchen, sipping on a cup of water as I heard the last phrase. I spewed the water out and luckily, on hardwood floor. "He what?!"

"You're cleaning that up," Leah stated, deadpan.

"B-but that's pedophilia! Illegal! It's-" Leah threw a towel at my face and I was stunned enough that it hit its mark.

"He doesn't feel that way yet. He just said he feels like he needs to protect her and keep her safe," Seth burbled.

"Okay," I calmed down and wiped the water up. And now... I ran over to the couch and flipped to channel 44. "Vampire Diaries!!!" Jared groaned, making it safe to infer that Kim made him watch it with her as well.Seth was curious and Leah leaned back to watch, having dubbed it "Somewhat acceptable" after watching one episode.

Not long after..."AHH I want one!" I squealed as the episode ended. It was Season 3, and the very sexy werewolf, Tyler, just had smokin' hot sex with Caroline, the bubbly vampire. "Crazy hot, supernatural werewolf se-" I stopped in mid-jump (I'd started jumping up and down in excitement) and covered my mouth as three Quilette wolves burst out laughing at me.

I turned red for a minutes, then pouted as the heat went away. "You people are shape-shifters, not werewolves. Shut up." I crossed my arms as they guffawed.

"I can still give you 'Crazy hot, supernatural werewolf se-' " Seth began, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows as Leah and I simultaneously smacked him in the face with our couch cushions.

"As much fun as I have gossiping with you, Seth, I wouldn't want my sex life broadcasted in a play-by-play on the Patrol 10:00 News." I informed my best friend's little brother, as Leah and Jared laughed like hyenas. I patted his head with a grin and hopped off the couch. I was really mad that Nikita didn't play at 9:00 any more.

"I'm departing from your presence," I announced to the room.

"C'ya," the two guys gave a single, lazy wave each as I bounded over, rolling my eyes as I pounced on all three with hugs. I think my resemblance to a puppy is much stronger than any of their likenesses to wolves.

"You're not going to stay out of the forest, are you?" Leah smirked. I could tell that my giving Sam grief gave her amusement.

"Of course not," I snorted. "Who do you think you're talking to?" She laughed.

"You really got Edward riled up though," Seth piped up. He'd been in contact with a gossip-y Cullen ever since some battle against an army of newborns. They still texted a lot- not romantically, but as gossip exchange buddies. "We're going to meet with the Cullens about his craziness about wanting to maim you."

"Oh, who are you kidding. Bella's boy-toy wants me 10 feet under and to dance on my grave." I leaned against the couch, picking up a pen to tap against my lip. I had an excellent idea- it was like a light bulb appeared into my brain- but it would have to wait for Sam. And no, it wasn't wolf sex. I would ask nicely for him to teach me how to be a wolf!

"I'm going to apply to work at the diner in Forks," I thought out loud to no one in particular.

"Better watch it," Jared remarked. "That's bordering leech territory."

"But it's the only food place to work at around here," I pointed out. "And I can balance 5 trays at the same time, one on my head."

"Ooh," Seth grinned. "Go for it."

"I shall!" I declared, dancing out the door.