Falling and Failing Is All I Know

“Kara, is it really you?” Brian asked, letting go of the girl and standing up from where he was previously sitting, relaxed on the couch. He didn’t look so relaxed anymore. In fact, he looked like a freaking ghost had just stepped onto their bus.

Kara just nodded her head, not trusting herself to speak just yet. Brian crossed over to where she was and pulled her into his arms, squeezing her tightly in a hug. She could have died right there on the spot, she had waited so long for this. She just didn’t expect their reunion to have Brian’s very jealous looking girlfriend staring them down.

“I can’t believe this,” Brian said, stepping back with his hands still rested on Kara’s shoulders. He thought he must be dreaming so he brought a hand up and slapped himself in the face. He felt the sharp sting on his cheek and knew that he was wide awake, though he realized a little too late that he’d probably just looked like a complete psycho in front of everyone.

“You just slapped yourself,” Kara said, speaking at last. It had taken a while to compose herself, but she thought she was okay now.

“I had to make sure I wasn’t dreaming,” Brian said, laughing slightly. Hoping she didn’t think he had turned into a complete idiot.

A light cough from the couch made Brian turn and look at his girlfriend, who was looking up at him with an unreadable expression on her face.

“Oh wow, sorry babe. Kara, this is my girlfriend, Roxy. Roxy, this is my old friend, Kara.”

Roxy rose to her feet and extended her hand out to Kara. Kara grasped her hand and quickly let go.

“My name is actually Roxanne. Only friends get to call me Roxy,” she said, making it clear that she did not care for Kara marching in here and hugging her boyfriend like that.

“Nice to meet you,” Kara said, forcing a small smile.

“Whatever,” Roxanne said, rolling her eyes and returning to her previous seat on the couch.

Kara was taken aback by the harshness she had received from Roxanne, but ignored it. She assumed that if their roles were reversed she would have a problem with it too, so she decided to cut her some slack. So instead of bothering with that, she turned to Jimmy.

“Did you get taller? You’re like a freaking giant,” Kara said, bringing her hands to her face to mimic looking through binoculars to see his face.

“Just because you’re short doesn’t mean you can make fun of my height. You’re just jealous,” he said, sticking his tongue out at her and making her burst into laughter.

Kara stepped over to him and hugged him. She couldn’t believe it had been so long since she had seen them all last, it seemed like so much longer than just three years.

“I’ve missed you guys so much since I moved away,” Kara said, trying to ignore the sounds of Brian and his girl making out on the couch. It wasn’t extremely difficult to ignore, however. All she could do was wish that it was her on that couch with Brian instead of Roxanne.

“Oh cut that out, not in front of the guest,” Matt said, sending an apologetic look in Kara’s direction. He slipped off his shoe and hurled it through the air, it made a thud as it hit Brian in the back of the head.

“Hey what the hell,” Brian yelled, pulling away from Roxanne with bright red lipstick smeared around his mouth. It was kind of disgusting, actually.

“Have a little more respect for our guests here,” Matt said, giving Brian a hard look.

“Oh,” Brian said, looking at Kara with a strange expression on his face, he let his eyes linger on her for longer than he should have. Kara squirmed under his look, wishing he’d just turn away and stop looking at her.

“Don’t worry about it, I should be going anyway. I have to get back to work,” Kara said.

She had to get out of there before she completely lost it. She turned and walked to the door, opening it.

“Bye guys, it was nice seeing you all again. I’ve really missed you. Nice meeting you Roxanne.”

Kara turned, letting the door swing closed behind her. It was then that she let the tears begin to fall. She couldn’t hold them back any longer. How could she be so stupid to expect anything to come out of her finding Brian again? She wiped away the tears that were springing from her eyes, but she soon gave up. New tears replaced those that she wiped away. There was no use trying to keep them from coming.

“Kara, wait up,” she heard Matt’s voice calling from behind her. She could hear the steady rhythm of his feet hitting the ground as he ran to catch up with her. Kara started running then, too. She didn’t want Matt to catch up to her and see the tears that fell from her eyes. She didn’t want him to think that she was this weak. She ran until she could run no more. She was out of breath and she was blinded by the tears that fell relentlessly.

Her foot caught on a crack in the sidewalk and she tripped, falling to her knees in the middle of the sea of people passing by. She wiped a hand across her face. It had black eyeliner and mascara smeared on it when she looked at it.

“Kara, are you okay?” Matt was right behind her now. He sounded breathless from the chase. She really didn’t want him to see her know, with her tearstained eyes and eyeliner smeared all over her face.

“No, not really,” Kara said, slowly standing up, and checking to see if her knees were bleeding from the fall. They were only scratched up a little, so she finally made herself turn to face Matt.

“Come here,” Matt said softly. He pulled Kara into his arms and held her there. She laid her head against his chest and the tears continued to fall. She was amazed that she still had tears left to cry. It felt like she’d been crying for hours.

Matt just held her tightly. Not caring about the crowded sidewalk around them. Not caring about the way the people stared as they walked by. Not even caring about his tear stained shirt. All he cared about was comforting his friend.