Falling and Failing Is All I Know

“So when are you guys heading out for the next show?” Kara questioned, taking a drink of her Dr. Pepper.

“Tomorrow morning,” Zacky answered, noticing how disappointed Kara looked.

“So soon?”

“Yeah, I wish we didn’t have to. We just found you again and we’re going to miss you,” Matt said, putting an arm around her shoulders since he was sitting right next to her.

“I’ll miss you guys too. I’m glad we all had a chance to catch up though.”

Kara stared down into her drink, trying not to allow herself to get upset about it. It’s not like she didn’t know this was coming.

“You could always come with us, you know,” Johnny said, looking around at the others to see what they though.

“Oh my God, Johnny, that’s the best idea you’ve ever had,” Jimmy said, jumping to his feet which resulted in him almost knocking the table over.

“That would be really amazing, but I can’t just leave here. I have to work.”

“Come on Kara. You have to come with us. Please.” Matt said, poking out his bottom lip at her.

She laughed a little, but then shook her head, knowing that she needed to stick to her answer this time. It just wasn’t a realistic idea. It would never work out.

“I’m sorry, Matt. I just can’t.” Kara tried her best not to look at Matt’s face because she knew she couldn’t say no to him if she was looking at him.

“Please,” Jimmy said quietly, trying to copy Matt’s frowny face, but not quite getting it right.

“I’m not so sure that Brian and Roxanne would want me to come with you.”

“Well they chose not to come with us, so they forfeited their right to vote on the matter,” Zacky said quickly.

Kara just sighed and looked down at the table, surprising herself since she was actually considering going with them. She couldn’t believe how fast everything was happening.

“This like some cliché piece of fan fiction or something,” Kara said, making herself and everyone else laugh.

“Have you ever read any of that stuff? I stumbled across some the other day about Jimmy and I being together. Eww,” Johnny said, looking like he was holding back a shudder.

“Nothing to be afraid of, Johnny boy. You’re too short for me,” Jimmy said, smacking Johnny in the arm and laughing. His laughter spread to the rest of them and it was probably the happiest Kara had been all day. Of course, that probably had a lot to do with the fact that Brian and Roxanne had chosen to stay at the bus, instead of coming with everyone else.

“So will you come with us?” Matt asked, changing the subject back again and leaning forward in anticipation of her answer.

“I guess so,” Kara said, not having any other excuses to throw out there.

Before she knew what was happening, four rather large guys were out of their seats and attacking her with four rather large hugs. She laughed along with them, but on the inside, all she could think was ‘What am I getting myself into?’

It was then that their food came out and all conversation basically ceased as the guys dug in. Kara picked up a chicken strip and munched on it, trying not to think about the fact that she would be around Brian basically twenty-four seven for the next three months.

~x~

Three hours later found Kara’s bags packed and piled on top of her bed. She stood in the middle of her room and just looked around her, making sure she hadn’t forgot anything she would need. She sighed as she heard a knock on the door and slowly started down the stairs to open it. It was Matt and Jimmy. They both entered the house with smiling faces. She was glad they were excited, because she really didn’t know how to feel about her decision to go with them.

“I’m so glad that you’re coming with us. I don’t think I could stand to sit around and hear the sounds of Brian and Roxy making out all day,” Jimmy said.

Kara looked down at the floor and held back the tears she felt suddenly spring into her eyes. What had she gotten herself into? How would she deal with having to see them together all the time? She looked up in time to see Matt smack Jimmy in the back of the head and then shoot her an apologetic look.

“No worries,” she whispered to Matt, shaking off the tears and smiling through them. Maybe she would be okay after all.

“So where are your bags,” Jimmy asked, seeming to notice the personal moment with Kara and Matt and wanting to give them some space.

“Go up the stairs, third door on the left, they’re on the bed.”

“Got it.”

Jimmy disappeared up the stairs and Matt pulled Kara into a hug. She leant her head against his chest and the tears that she had held back started to fall.

“Shh, it’s okay,” Matt said, squeezing her just a little tighter.

“No, it’s not. I loved him. He promised me that he would find me and we would be together again,” Kara said quietly, her voice breaking several times through her tears.

“I know.”

“I waited for him. I held back from getting involved with any other guys because of that promise. I believed that we would be together again. I believed that our love was strong enough to last through time and distance, but apparently I was wrong.”

“Kara, it’ll be fine. He’ll come around. There’s no way he’s too serious about this Roxanne chick. She’ll probably move on in a week or two anyway.”

She brought a hand up and wiped away the tears that lingered on her cheeks, she was thanking God for the waterproof makeup she had chosen to wear today at that point.

“I guess I’m just being stupid, crying over it like this.”

“No, you’re not stupid. You’re just hurt. You deserve to be able to cry when you need to. You don’t always have to be strong and perfectly composed. I understand and so does everyone else. Don’t ever be ashamed to show your emotions when you’re around us.”

“Thanks, Matt.”

“Anytime, and just remember, if you ever need someone to talk to, or maybe a shoulder to cry on at anytime during this tour, I’ll be there for you.”

“You’re such a great friend, Mattie.”

“Wow, I haven’t been called that since high school,” Matt said, giving her one last squeeze before releasing her from the hug.

“You guys ready to go?” Jimmy asked, making more noise than necessary as he made his way back down the stairs.

“Yeah, we’re ready,” Matt said, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the door.

“Let’s get this show on the road, then.” Kara said quietly, bracing herself for what was to come. Brian and Roxanne didn’t even know she was coming with them yet.

~x~

“Tour time. Tour time!” Jimmy screamed at the top of his lungs as he opened the door to the bus and jumped inside, hauling Kara’s bags behind him.

“Yes Jimmy, we are perfectly aware of that,” Brian’s voice said, sounding slightly annoyed. “Wait, whose bags are those?”

“Mine,” Kara said, stepping onto the bus where Brian could see her. He stood there, looking slightly confused. His jaw dropped slightly as he was hit with this new bit of information.

“Oh don’t tell me she’s coming,” Roxanne said in her obnoxious voice.

“Yes, I am. And I suggest you get used to it.”