Midnight ***er
Chapter 10
*TIME ELAPSE*
So, yeah, now some more were dead because of me so I felt even worse now than I had when I refused Frank the night before. The people that were dead now weren’t close like Jamia had been; they were not even in the camp. You see when I had left Frank I had gone for a long walk which my vampire speed had been really long. I had found this group of kids, or rather, they found and recognised me. They did the usual thing of asking for pictures and autographs’. I wasn’t in the mood to be honest so I politely said no and walked away. They followed me, pleading with me and I turned back and… yeah… now the three or maybe four youngsters are dead. The fact I don’t know how many is bad enough but…I am a killer, a proper cold blooded killer. I had enjoyed it as they screamed and tried to run. I had actually laughed as they died. I shuddered as I remembered the terror on their faces. Oh God but the blood had been good and just what I needed after… No, I couldn’t justify killing with refusal! “I am a monster, nothing but a monster!” I muttered as I lay my head on the cool table.
Oh, I should explain. I came to my senses as it were and stole the phones in case they had taken pictures and ran miles before crushing and destroying them. I dumped the remains there wherever there happened to be and then because dawn was coming I had run back to the safety of the bus. It was tearing me apart to know that I could kill and yet be unwilling to harm myself.
Wait, was that even true? I had denied Frank, the one thing I had wanted. Sure, he might have regretted it but I am damn sure I never would have done. He would never offer himself to me like that again because he didn’t swing that way did he? Well, even if he did I had all but pushed him away. Rejection would probably hurt as much as regret and I felt regret now.
What had I done? I had denied myself, denied Frank and then gone and killed those kids. Maybe if I had stayed it would have made us both happy for a while and saved those kids. Maybe he would never have regretted it and we would have remained happy, “I hate myself.”
I felt a hand on my back and noticed that I had been so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I had not hurt the approaching heartbeat. Not just any heartbeat either but that one. Frank was beside me, his hand on the back of my neck. I stiffened at the touch; fearing the worst. He withdrew his hand and sat down beside me, “I don’t hate you Gerard, infect you seem more of a saviour to me now than you ever did,” I just grunted because he didn’t know half of the reason for me hating myself, “Gee, you saying no to me has saved me, well, both of us a lot of… weirdness I guess. Yes it would have felt good but then the guilt would have hit me and hit me so hard…,” his voice trailed away intro a sigh, “I just… I… thank you,” he moved and pressed his lips to my cheek to show he had no bad feelings.
I looked up at him and forced a smile onto my lips, “that’s what friends do sugar and just know that freaking was the last thing on my mind,” I flicked on the television to distract us both but when I saw the breaking news my heart stropped. (Well, not literally of course as it had stopped way before) What I saw were those kids, the pictures, what I had done, “oh God!”
Frank looked at the screen, ”So much death,” he sighed, “and they look so young.”
I stared at the pictures of devastated families and hated myself even more. Why didn’t I have the guts to go out into the sun and end it all? Frank’s hand found mine and linked with it and then I knew my reasoning. I was staying for him.
So, yeah, now some more were dead because of me so I felt even worse now than I had when I refused Frank the night before. The people that were dead now weren’t close like Jamia had been; they were not even in the camp. You see when I had left Frank I had gone for a long walk which my vampire speed had been really long. I had found this group of kids, or rather, they found and recognised me. They did the usual thing of asking for pictures and autographs’. I wasn’t in the mood to be honest so I politely said no and walked away. They followed me, pleading with me and I turned back and… yeah… now the three or maybe four youngsters are dead. The fact I don’t know how many is bad enough but…I am a killer, a proper cold blooded killer. I had enjoyed it as they screamed and tried to run. I had actually laughed as they died. I shuddered as I remembered the terror on their faces. Oh God but the blood had been good and just what I needed after… No, I couldn’t justify killing with refusal! “I am a monster, nothing but a monster!” I muttered as I lay my head on the cool table.
Oh, I should explain. I came to my senses as it were and stole the phones in case they had taken pictures and ran miles before crushing and destroying them. I dumped the remains there wherever there happened to be and then because dawn was coming I had run back to the safety of the bus. It was tearing me apart to know that I could kill and yet be unwilling to harm myself.
Wait, was that even true? I had denied Frank, the one thing I had wanted. Sure, he might have regretted it but I am damn sure I never would have done. He would never offer himself to me like that again because he didn’t swing that way did he? Well, even if he did I had all but pushed him away. Rejection would probably hurt as much as regret and I felt regret now.
What had I done? I had denied myself, denied Frank and then gone and killed those kids. Maybe if I had stayed it would have made us both happy for a while and saved those kids. Maybe he would never have regretted it and we would have remained happy, “I hate myself.”
I felt a hand on my back and noticed that I had been so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I had not hurt the approaching heartbeat. Not just any heartbeat either but that one. Frank was beside me, his hand on the back of my neck. I stiffened at the touch; fearing the worst. He withdrew his hand and sat down beside me, “I don’t hate you Gerard, infect you seem more of a saviour to me now than you ever did,” I just grunted because he didn’t know half of the reason for me hating myself, “Gee, you saying no to me has saved me, well, both of us a lot of… weirdness I guess. Yes it would have felt good but then the guilt would have hit me and hit me so hard…,” his voice trailed away intro a sigh, “I just… I… thank you,” he moved and pressed his lips to my cheek to show he had no bad feelings.
I looked up at him and forced a smile onto my lips, “that’s what friends do sugar and just know that freaking was the last thing on my mind,” I flicked on the television to distract us both but when I saw the breaking news my heart stropped. (Well, not literally of course as it had stopped way before) What I saw were those kids, the pictures, what I had done, “oh God!”
Frank looked at the screen, ”So much death,” he sighed, “and they look so young.”
I stared at the pictures of devastated families and hated myself even more. Why didn’t I have the guts to go out into the sun and end it all? Frank’s hand found mine and linked with it and then I knew my reasoning. I was staying for him.