Midnight ***er
Chapter 17
Mikey went limp in my arms and I realised what I was doing. I lifted him and carried him to the shed I had left not long ago. I laid him on some hay and just watched him. He was alive I grateful to find as his heartbeat echoed in my ears. I had nearly killed my own brother who was doing nothing but try to help me. I was losing control of myself and it wouldn’t be long until I killed again. What if I killed someone I loved like Mikey or even worse, Frank? I gave a bitter laugh then because I was convinced that I would never be close enough to harm him.
Again.
The word stabbed into my mind and I groaned softly. I was not only losing control but I was losing everything I held dear in the process. I paced away from my brother hoping he would not suffer any damage. I sat in a corner of the shed and put my head on my knees. “I shouldn’t be here,” I whined softly, “I deserve to die.”
“You are already dead,” Mikey said from the hay.
I didn’t move and neither did he but our eyes met and locked. “I am so sorry,” I offered in the end, “I never meant to… I don’t know what came over me.”
He sat up then and stood slowly, battling his light headedness. I cringed knowing I had caused that but ran over to catch him as he fell. He looked up and gave me a crooked smile, “you have fast reactions. Thanks,” we sank into a sitting position and he gripped my arm tightly. “Hunger came over you Gee and you know it.”
“I can’t control it though,” I said, “I mean I would never deliberately hurt you… or kids… or Frank…,” I sighed, “fuck this is a mess; I am a mess; oh Mikey please kill me and end it all.”
Mikey put his head on my shoulder, “I am sure you know my answer to that,” he told me quietly, “and it’s the same answer we both gave to Frank,” he sighed softly. A silence settled over us for a while with neither of us knowing what to say. “You know, now we all know what you need we might be able to help.”
“What?” I leapt to my feet and turned to face him, “you would help me to kill people?”
Mikey shook his head, “no, we could help to find you blood and…”
“I feed and people die!” I snapped, “that’s what I do Mikey; I kill people in order to keep being this thing you see before you.”
“You have only killed on two nights,” Mikey tried to reason with me, “So there must be another way. How did you survive before?”
“Why are you even trying to help me?” I asked as I turned away, “I don’t deserve it because I am… Oh God, I am such a let down and I deserve nothing but death and I only ask one thing,” I swung back and fixed my eyes to his, “make it hurt!”
Mikey sighed and stood to cross to me. He never moved though before he sat again looking ashen. “I am helping you because you are my brother and we both know you would do the same for me,” he looked up at me with a sincere gaze, “I love you man but not in the creepy way.”
“So you think my love for Frank is creepy?” I asked, my lips twitching into a smile.
“He isn’t your brother Gee so your feelings don’t make me judge you. I just wish they had surfaced in a different way.” He suddenly swayed and his breath caught. “Gee, I hurt… Did you…?”
I ran to his side concerned, “I don’t think so but then I don’t know how it’s done!” Mikey nodded and then he passed out. Oh God, this would be another way of killing, giving what I was starting to view as a fate worse than death.
Again.
The word stabbed into my mind and I groaned softly. I was not only losing control but I was losing everything I held dear in the process. I paced away from my brother hoping he would not suffer any damage. I sat in a corner of the shed and put my head on my knees. “I shouldn’t be here,” I whined softly, “I deserve to die.”
“You are already dead,” Mikey said from the hay.
I didn’t move and neither did he but our eyes met and locked. “I am so sorry,” I offered in the end, “I never meant to… I don’t know what came over me.”
He sat up then and stood slowly, battling his light headedness. I cringed knowing I had caused that but ran over to catch him as he fell. He looked up and gave me a crooked smile, “you have fast reactions. Thanks,” we sank into a sitting position and he gripped my arm tightly. “Hunger came over you Gee and you know it.”
“I can’t control it though,” I said, “I mean I would never deliberately hurt you… or kids… or Frank…,” I sighed, “fuck this is a mess; I am a mess; oh Mikey please kill me and end it all.”
Mikey put his head on my shoulder, “I am sure you know my answer to that,” he told me quietly, “and it’s the same answer we both gave to Frank,” he sighed softly. A silence settled over us for a while with neither of us knowing what to say. “You know, now we all know what you need we might be able to help.”
“What?” I leapt to my feet and turned to face him, “you would help me to kill people?”
Mikey shook his head, “no, we could help to find you blood and…”
“I feed and people die!” I snapped, “that’s what I do Mikey; I kill people in order to keep being this thing you see before you.”
“You have only killed on two nights,” Mikey tried to reason with me, “So there must be another way. How did you survive before?”
“Why are you even trying to help me?” I asked as I turned away, “I don’t deserve it because I am… Oh God, I am such a let down and I deserve nothing but death and I only ask one thing,” I swung back and fixed my eyes to his, “make it hurt!”
Mikey sighed and stood to cross to me. He never moved though before he sat again looking ashen. “I am helping you because you are my brother and we both know you would do the same for me,” he looked up at me with a sincere gaze, “I love you man but not in the creepy way.”
“So you think my love for Frank is creepy?” I asked, my lips twitching into a smile.
“He isn’t your brother Gee so your feelings don’t make me judge you. I just wish they had surfaced in a different way.” He suddenly swayed and his breath caught. “Gee, I hurt… Did you…?”
I ran to his side concerned, “I don’t think so but then I don’t know how it’s done!” Mikey nodded and then he passed out. Oh God, this would be another way of killing, giving what I was starting to view as a fate worse than death.