Break Me Down

Kennedy sighed as he looked towards the bunk area from his place on the sofa. Lilly hadn’t left the sanctuary of her bunk since she had that break down two days ago. The guys bought food to her whenever they went out to eat, she hadn’t even showered. Kennedy couldn’t help but feel guilty; he was beating himself up about the whole ordeal he kept thinking how things could be different. If only he hadn’t cancelled on her, he could have been there to protect her or they could have been somewhere different. Kennedy swallowed hard and looked up when he heard the front door slam; John and Jared were walking up the steps.

“Anything?” Jared asked, Kennedy knew what he was referring to and shook his head.

“You can’t keep blaming yourself Ken, you weren’t to know what was going to happen.” John was trying to give his friend some sympathetic words but they were falling on deaf ears.

“I’m meant to be looking after her.”

“It’s not over yet come on let’s try again.” Jared tried to keep the morale up but Kennedy wasn’t having any of it, he was so close to giving up hope. Never the less the group made their way to Lilly’s bunk, John opened the curtain gently before Kennedy spoke.

“Hey Lilly, feel like getting some fresh air?”

“No thanks Kennedy.” Her voice came out as no more than a whisper.

“You need air. We’ll come with you, clear the lungs out? We could even get some coffee.” Jared tried bribed.

“No thank you, I’m fine.”

“Hey guys what’s going on?” Garrett asked throwing some cheetos into his mouth.

“Trying to see if Lilly needs air, she doesn’t come on lets go.” Kennedy pushed past Garrett
and walked to the front lounge clearly frustrated, John and Jared soon following to try to calm him down.

“You know what they’re trying to do don’t you?” Garrett asked kneeling by Lilly’s bunk; she turned over so her body was now facing Garrett instead of her back. He kept his gaze at her eyes finding it impossible to ignore how beautiful they were and how they seemed to pull him in.

“I know but... I can’t Gary I just can’t.”

“I understand you’re scared but we’re here to protect you.” Garrett’s hand found Lilly’s and both parties tried to contain their blushes.

“You can’t protect me all the time.”

“And you can’t stay here for weeks on end. Lilly if you ever wanted to go out one of us would come with you.”

“I understand and appreciate you’re all worried about me but I can’t leave G. I want to but I can’t.” Tears started to form in her hazel eyes.

“Let me walk you through it once, I’ll be here every step of the way. Lets first concentrate on getting out of the bunk first. You must need a walk around.”

“Don’t treat me as if I’m stupid and can’t do anything for myself.”

“Then show me you can.” Garrett ran his thumb over Lilly’s hand softly as if to tell her it was okay. Lilly nodded and swung her legs over the side of the bunk before inhaling deeply. She felt pathetic that this was such a huge task for her but she knew she had to do it before she turned into an agoraphobic.

“Just squeeze my hand if you get scared okay, I’ll call rat boy if anyone tries to speak to us sound good?” Lilly simply laughed a reply and made sure she had a firm grip on Garrett’s hand before walking through to the front of the bus.

To say John, Jared and Kennedy were shocked would be an understatement, especially the latter. Garrett just put his finger to his lips signalling for the boys to be quiet in case they said anything to scare Lilly and make her flying back in to her bunk. Lilly took a deep breath and opened the door; she did feel invigorated feeling the fresh air fill her nostrils then lungs. Her grip on Garrett’s hand did not alter one bit as she slowly walked down the three bus steps, after a few shaky breaths her feet were firmly on the black gravel beneath.

“I feel silly now,” Lilly admitted her cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

“Don’t, you should feel proud, you did it!” Garrett offered a small smile of encouragement.

“Thank you Gary, but I do feel stupid, it all feels so stupid now I don’t know why I was scared, I don’t know why I still am.”

“I’ll strike a deal with you then. Since I am apparently so fantastic and am the only one who could get you out, I’ll play bodyguard. Whenever you want to go somewhere call me and I’ll be there okay. There is a condition though.” Lilly nodded and looked up in the wondrous blue pools Garrett had for eyes, he spoke again.

“I’ll only agree to play bodyguard if you promise to stop sending all your time in your bunk, we all miss you!”

“Okay Garrett, films and Halo for a bodyguard sounds fair.” Lilly smiled slightly and kissed Garrett’s cheek before thanking him and walking back on to the bus. Garrett’s smile grew tenfold, partly because Lilly was out and about and partly because her lips had just been in contact with his skin.