Status: This one is going on fast, I already have a few chapters written, This next week I'll Update
Light of Things
Don't Believe the Hype
I still lied over the couch with my butt practically in the air. He didn’t say a word and could’ve left for all I knew, my eyes were closed as I tried to regain my breath. Then with no warning he ran his knuckles down my slit making me jump instantly. I sat on the floor and stared up at him as he smiled innocently down at me.
“not funny!”
“why, you’re all sensitive now?” he asked sitting next to me and pulling me closer;
“well, have you ever fucked yourself?”
“uh… no,” he said with the most adorable oblivious face on the planet;
“okay, when you figure a way to do that you’ll know the aftermath of getting fucked by you,” I turned my head slightly so he couldn’t see the smile that was fighting its way to my face;
“okay,” he sang “until then, why don’t you tell me what it feels like?” he pulled me onto his naked lap. I licked over my lips and tried to find the words to not exactly let him know it feels like heaven with the pain from hell and every pleasure from earth, at least not as vulgar as I would’ve wanted to say it;
“alright… you’ve ever been high, yanno like weed high?” he nodded “well mix that, you know the crazy shit you see, maniacal laughter and the numbness of the situation with a some S & M” he stared at me for a second before snapping;
“I’m not that aggressive!” I laughed covering my face. He really had no idea how much pain he could cause! Thankfully I enjoyed it quite a lot but if this man was to ever break a virgin she’d be traumatized for life!
“I never said you were! It’s just that your dick is the size of Texas if you compare the average man’s penis to the states,” I was so serious about it, it made him laugh.
“you really want me to believe I’m the biggest you’ve ever seen?”
“I thought that big was just for the movies and they were fake! So yeah, you’re the biggest one I’ve seen so obviously the biggest I’ve had,” he raised his eyebrows questioning me. Of course he doesn’t believe me, with my reputation sometimes I don’t believe myself “you don’t believe me,” I sighed;
“I do, I just…” he said quickly;
“look Matt,” I cut him off “I’m gonna set the record straight, just for you. I never explain myself or my actions cuz I don’t give a fuck about what people think…” I trailed off. His eyes never left mine as he tried to read me “I haven’t been around as much as they say I have. They pin a new boyfriend or fuck buddy on me every other week cuz I’m not allowed to have lunch or walk out of college with anyone that he automatically becomes one of my many love interests,”
“so you’re not dating Benji Madden?” I laughed, that’s the first thing that appears when you google me;
“you searched me!”
“of course,” he smiled;
“no, I am not dating Benji. He’s one of my bestfriends and I love him to death, but no. The only reason they say that is cuz they snapped him leaving my house in the early hours of the morning. What they didn’t see was Hilary Wentz sitting in the passenger seat. We had spent most of the night working on designs for DCMA, so yeah…” he nodded, maybe finally believing me “truth of the matter is, I haven’t been with 10 men in my entire life, actually only 6 including you. I just don’t like going around like that,” I admitted;
“and if you don’t care what people think, why are you telling me?” he wanted me to tell him I somewhat cared about him.
“I kinda care about what you think,” I said shyly “beside, it’s a part of getting to know each other, it wouldn’t be right if I let you keep thinking I was some kind of whore,” he looked appalled by the idea;
“I never thought that,” he retaliated;
“if you believed the hype, in some way you did,”
“no, I gave you the benefit of the doubt,” I raised my eyebrows questioning his sincerity, not that I actually could his eyes sold anything he wanted;
“mm, I’ll believe that, for now,” I turned away from him. I wasn’t joking, I was going to hold on to that for whenever we argued and he brought out my past.
He pulled me closer. My head crashed on his chest as he held me for dear life as if he really wanted me there. His heartbeat steady and fast and his skin warm and soft; I couldn’t help but to have that safety feeling again as his hands ran up and down my back and mine traced the tattoos on his chest.
“…so stupid,” I heard him whisper. I looked up at him questioning him. He quickly shook his head so I would forget it;
“tell me,” I poked his side;
“I was stupid, I shouldn’t have agreed to take you,” he looked down;
“now you regret it?”
“I’ve been regretting it since before it happened. I just convinced myself that you were just another one of the bunch and it wouldn’t matter if I took you cuz there was nothing special about you. You just had to come and prove me the fuck wrong and be so perfect,” he said making me laugh;
“I’m not perfect not even close,”
“no, look at me,” he pulled my face in front of his’ “you are the most perfect and beautiful woman walking this planet,” he was so sincere and so unbelievably wrong.
Do I really have to list all the things that are wrong with me?
Self mutilation
Eating disorder
OCD
Trust Issues
Extreme Self-Indulgance
The list can go on, I’m just trying to be nicer to myself. He squeezed me bringing me out of my thoughts. I could only smile then laughed when he gave me a bunch of playful kisses on my back;
“stop!” I laughed before everything changed.
“not funny!”
“why, you’re all sensitive now?” he asked sitting next to me and pulling me closer;
“well, have you ever fucked yourself?”
“uh… no,” he said with the most adorable oblivious face on the planet;
“okay, when you figure a way to do that you’ll know the aftermath of getting fucked by you,” I turned my head slightly so he couldn’t see the smile that was fighting its way to my face;
“okay,” he sang “until then, why don’t you tell me what it feels like?” he pulled me onto his naked lap. I licked over my lips and tried to find the words to not exactly let him know it feels like heaven with the pain from hell and every pleasure from earth, at least not as vulgar as I would’ve wanted to say it;
“alright… you’ve ever been high, yanno like weed high?” he nodded “well mix that, you know the crazy shit you see, maniacal laughter and the numbness of the situation with a some S & M” he stared at me for a second before snapping;
“I’m not that aggressive!” I laughed covering my face. He really had no idea how much pain he could cause! Thankfully I enjoyed it quite a lot but if this man was to ever break a virgin she’d be traumatized for life!
“I never said you were! It’s just that your dick is the size of Texas if you compare the average man’s penis to the states,” I was so serious about it, it made him laugh.
“you really want me to believe I’m the biggest you’ve ever seen?”
“I thought that big was just for the movies and they were fake! So yeah, you’re the biggest one I’ve seen so obviously the biggest I’ve had,” he raised his eyebrows questioning me. Of course he doesn’t believe me, with my reputation sometimes I don’t believe myself “you don’t believe me,” I sighed;
“I do, I just…” he said quickly;
“look Matt,” I cut him off “I’m gonna set the record straight, just for you. I never explain myself or my actions cuz I don’t give a fuck about what people think…” I trailed off. His eyes never left mine as he tried to read me “I haven’t been around as much as they say I have. They pin a new boyfriend or fuck buddy on me every other week cuz I’m not allowed to have lunch or walk out of college with anyone that he automatically becomes one of my many love interests,”
“so you’re not dating Benji Madden?” I laughed, that’s the first thing that appears when you google me;
“you searched me!”
“of course,” he smiled;
“no, I am not dating Benji. He’s one of my bestfriends and I love him to death, but no. The only reason they say that is cuz they snapped him leaving my house in the early hours of the morning. What they didn’t see was Hilary Wentz sitting in the passenger seat. We had spent most of the night working on designs for DCMA, so yeah…” he nodded, maybe finally believing me “truth of the matter is, I haven’t been with 10 men in my entire life, actually only 6 including you. I just don’t like going around like that,” I admitted;
“and if you don’t care what people think, why are you telling me?” he wanted me to tell him I somewhat cared about him.
“I kinda care about what you think,” I said shyly “beside, it’s a part of getting to know each other, it wouldn’t be right if I let you keep thinking I was some kind of whore,” he looked appalled by the idea;
“I never thought that,” he retaliated;
“if you believed the hype, in some way you did,”
“no, I gave you the benefit of the doubt,” I raised my eyebrows questioning his sincerity, not that I actually could his eyes sold anything he wanted;
“mm, I’ll believe that, for now,” I turned away from him. I wasn’t joking, I was going to hold on to that for whenever we argued and he brought out my past.
He pulled me closer. My head crashed on his chest as he held me for dear life as if he really wanted me there. His heartbeat steady and fast and his skin warm and soft; I couldn’t help but to have that safety feeling again as his hands ran up and down my back and mine traced the tattoos on his chest.
“…so stupid,” I heard him whisper. I looked up at him questioning him. He quickly shook his head so I would forget it;
“tell me,” I poked his side;
“I was stupid, I shouldn’t have agreed to take you,” he looked down;
“now you regret it?”
“I’ve been regretting it since before it happened. I just convinced myself that you were just another one of the bunch and it wouldn’t matter if I took you cuz there was nothing special about you. You just had to come and prove me the fuck wrong and be so perfect,” he said making me laugh;
“I’m not perfect not even close,”
“no, look at me,” he pulled my face in front of his’ “you are the most perfect and beautiful woman walking this planet,” he was so sincere and so unbelievably wrong.
Do I really have to list all the things that are wrong with me?
Self mutilation
Eating disorder
OCD
Trust Issues
Extreme Self-Indulgance
The list can go on, I’m just trying to be nicer to myself. He squeezed me bringing me out of my thoughts. I could only smile then laughed when he gave me a bunch of playful kisses on my back;
“stop!” I laughed before everything changed.
♠ ♠ ♠
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