Light of Things

Something was different about his touch, he was aggressive and careless unlike the other times he had always been stronger but never like this. He ripped the thin fabric of my shirt off my body and his hands fell on my neck. When I felt out of breath I knew I had to stop him, but I was literally trapped, my hands were under his knees. I tried to get free but mostly I tried to open my eyes.

Matt

I tossed and turned on my bed back home. I was supposed to be comfortable here, it’s like a law of life, you’re always better when you’re home. Too bad, I only felt at home when I was looking down at that little spit fire that has won me over in the most magnificent way. It’s not fair to be in SoCal, with no fan or AC turned on and still feel freezing cold because she’s not here.

That’s exactly how I feel, just thinking about her lips on mine made chills erupt from places I didn’t even know it could happen. I turned on my stomach again and closed my eyes, trying my hardest to rest, my body was aching and I was, honestly, close to exhaustion. I had barely rested between watching over her and making her mine a good few times a day, I had to rest, but I had a bad feeling, one that could not be ignored, so I jumped out of bed and in no time I was already speeding out of my house. I stopped at a gas station, filled my tank and bought a few cans of red bull. It was around 4 am I would get there around 6 but it was still worth it.

When I finally saw the cabin, I sighed, there was an unbearable pressure in my chest. I practically ran in. everyone was awake and sitting in the living room quietly, the tension could be cut with a knife but I brushed it off and went to find my gir… my girl? Fuck! She’s got me!

“wait!” Zacky ran behind me as I stood in front of the basement’s door;

“Matt,” Jimmy said as he stood next me and pulled me away from the door;

“dude, you need to be calmer before you see her,” Zacky try to sooth me but I just tensed up faster;

“why?”

Just then Shay came out of his room and stared at me in shock, he was about to run away when Brian and Jimmy caught him and pushed him against the wall;

“time to take shit like a man!” Brian’s voice was so deep I knew there was something definitely wrong, he never loses it like that. I waited no longer and unlocked the door before running down to find myself staring at an empty mattress. A shirt I had for her in my closet lied on the floor shred to pieces and covered in blood. The shower was running and I kicked the door in, paranoid at what I might find. She screamed and hugged her knees, while sitting in a corner far away inside the shower.

The bruises could be seen from afar, even through her tattoos, she was so terrified she wouldn’t even look at me,

“baby?” I said softly, finally she lifted her hurt face to me before spreading her arms for me to take her;

“Matt,” she cried as I hugged her;

“Tere?” I said softly and closed my eyes already imagining the worst. I turned slightly to turn the water off and pulled her face in front of mine;

“don’t let him close, he’s going to do what they did,” she cried, her eyes squeezed shut and my heart broken at the mere sight of her hurt;

“who?” I already had an idea of who had hurt her but I needed to hear it from her, kind of a green light you may call it;

“Shay,” she trembled as she said his name. I lost it; all the years of anger management couldn’t save him. I was seeing red and unless I saw some red coming out of him I wouldn’t calm down. Not a second wasted, I let go of her and stood back up;

“don’t leave!” she cried but I couldn’t stop, I needed to find him. I searched for him, finding him in the living room sitting between Brian and Jimmy, when he noticed me, he made the fastest run I’ve ever seen for the door, unfortunately my body was on automatic and I caught his shirt and slammed him against the wall.

“Matt! Stop!” I heard in the background but my mind only held the image of her beautiful face bruised and bloodied. I threw him on the floor and pressed my knees against his chest. My hands fell on his neck where I squeezed with all my strength; one hand released him just to meet his nose and mouth in clenched fist.

“I’m not afraid to add another crime to my record,” I said to him before slamming his head against the wood floor “tell your father you will get killed if you stay here and that’s a fucking promise,” I let go of him and stalked my way inside the kitchen. I could’ve taken his life right there, or at least for my own personal pleasure caused some major un-healable damage. Still I didn’t, I couldn’t, not in front of Lea, Gena and Aly. I’m not what I used to be, I can’t do everything I want anymore, I only feel like doing what’s right even if it kills me.

“Matt?” I heard Gena say softly;

“hmm? I didn’t even turn. She placed her hand on my shoulder and turned me around. I broke down, hugged her in verge of tears of anger. This is how close we are, Zacky would never get jealous because he knows I would never see Gee in any other way than just a sister. I pulled back and sniffed back the tears. The thought of her beautiful face beaten as it is killed me as well. “how did that happen? How did he get in?”

“apparently he forced the locks and put something behind the door so no one could open it. Around 4 Jimmy heard her scream and went banging on our doors. The guys teamed up and kicked the door in to find him on the floor cuz she had kicked him in the nuts like four times,” just then the rest of them came in and I heard a car speed away;

“I swear, if he got through with it, I will fucking find him…”

“no you won’t, you’re in no position to do any crazy shit. Just be there for her cuz she’s not letting anyone else in,” Jimmy said;

“how is she doing?” Brian asked;

“she’s hurt, like seriously hurt and I haven’t even seen the rest of her,”

“well, get going. That girl is going to freeze to death,” he said and I nodded. What seemed like seconds away I was by her, with a towel picking her bruised body from the floor.

Slowly I made my way up to my room and sat on the bed with her still in my arms. The progress we had made, of speaking freely about anything that came to mind had banished, as I waited for her to say something in the awkwardness that had rooted between us.

I took a practical step forward and broke the ice when I felt her shiver;

“you cold?” she nodded slowly as she buried her face in my neck. I turned slightly to lay her on the bed just to be stopped when she let out a cry of fear for me to not let her go;

“no! You’ll leave again,” she cried breaking my heart in the making;

“no, I won’t. I just want to cover you up, alright? So you won’t freeze to death,” I soothed her. She finally let go of my neck and laid down with the towel still covering her body. I slowly lied next to her and pulled her closer to my body under the quilt;

“you alright?” I asked softly but she didn’t respond, she just looked straight up at the ceiling while her eyes spilled themselves.

“is there anything you want to feel better? Anything I can get you?” I was so hopeless it was ridiculous; I just didn’t know if I should be quiet and lay by her or try to talk it out;

“yeah, don’t leave me and don’t say anything else for a while,” she said softly, catching the oblivious look in my eyes, when she looked at me. Her eyes were full of adoration still for me, but I could see right through it, the pain she had endured the night before, the misery of her entire life falling on her shoulders from a single attack… it was all there, her cold hand reached my cheek and leaned in closer to kiss the corner of her hurt lips;

“I won’t go anywhere, I promise,”