Light of Things

Hills Hotel

From: Roberto C. Derulo

To: Matthew C. Sanders

For the Amount of: ten million dollars

The air slowly left my body to the point that I fell light headed and remembered I had to breathe. I did as tears of anger threatened to leave my eyes;

“what do you think you’re doing?” he asked from behind me, I could clearly hear he was pissed obviously for finding me browsing his shit but I was dead, broken from everything else in my life.

“when were you going to tell me?”

“what are you talking about?” he was totally oblivious of the existence of it;

“this Sanders!” I stood and showed him, he stood there petrified staring at the piece of paper in my hand with pure horror in his eyes;

“Teresa, don’t jump into conclusions, let me explain,” he tried to grab my hand;

“Explain what, exactly? That you sold yourself out! That you’re no different from that guy that tried to kill me and killed Sam instead?” I yelled so loud that I knew my voice was as good as gone;

“I’m not! I never hurt you, I love you-“ he got closer again;

“you don’t love me! I was stupid to believe you did when the only thing you wanted was to fuck the sanity right out of my brain to buy yourself some time,” I pushed him as hard as I could “guess what? Time’s up!” I slammed my open hand into his chest with the check right in it and walked out.

“where are you going? Tere! Come back!” I heard him but I was already making my way through the patch of woods by the road, it was imminent to hide from him and leave this place at once.

Matt

I watched her disappear, I couldn’t follow her. For the first time in my life I was actually too shocked to do anything, my body was frozen on the same spot, and it sure as hell wasn’t the cold weather. She found it, she knows and only God knows what she’ll do now and on top of that, I lost her. With how much I love her it hurts in ways I could never explain.

“Teresa!” I called after her when I snapped out of my trance, too bad it was too late. She was gone, I could no longer hear the sound of leaves breaking with her steps.

“fuck,” I whispered looking down at my feet.

I will never forget this month, not in this lifetime. I lost my brother, my pride and my career and life is in the hands of a girl, who I also lost and just happens to be only one I’ve ever loved.

December 2009

***

Teresa

After three days of doing circles in the woods I finally found the main road that in my crying and the raining of the past night I had been so disoriented I had completely lost. The main office of Big Bear came to sight and a tourist taxi was my ride for complete freedom.

“wait!”I slammed my hands on the hood of it. I opened the sliding door and quickly got in “take me to LA,” his eyes widen, my looks were not the ones of a millionaire heiress, I was barefoot, dirty and needless to say I reeked.

“you got to pay me?” his eyes traveled down my bare legs through the rearview mirror.

“yes and my eyes are up here, now move!” I said, my strong self had resurfaced so had my hate for men themselves. Matt was not going to be the death of me I refuse to let him win.

Not that driver when I was twelve or that guy that stabbed me when I was sixteen, they hadn’t beaten me down neither will Matt. The only problem is how much it hurts. I really did fall in love with him, the things he said, the way he kissed me and touched in more ways than one… it was all so painful it brought tears to my eyes only to worsen my condition of almost exhaustion. Three days without food or water were bad enough and added to that I hadn’t rested for a second. Still my trust issues wouldn’t let me fall asleep, I battled with myself for the two hours it took to get to LA, when he turned into my street I thanked God Nicole’s SUV was outside by the sidewalk.

“that’ll be 250,”

“give me a second,” I said and got out;

I ran to her door and knocked frantically;

“Nicole!” I called out for her;

“coming!” I heard her from the other side;

“Terry?”she said shocked “oh my God! I can’t believe you’re here!” she hugged me regardless of my condition.

“yeah, I need a favor, I need to borrow 250, I’ll pay you back,”

“of course, gimme a sec,” she ran back inside;

I don’t know where he came from but he did, Joel hugged tightly telling me how glad he was that I was okay, I practically broke down, crying and feeling actually less safe than I did in Matt’s arms. When he let go off me I sat down on the porch’s step feeling light headed and sick;

“where were you?”

“I was trapped, but I really don’t want to talk about it,” yeah, I know they’re good friend so I refuse to soil the image he has from Matt;

“are you okay?” his voice was starting to fade;

“I-I haven’t eaten or slept for a few days,” everything was spinning;

“Terry? Terry? Oh God, you’re bleeding!” was the last thing I heard from Nicole.