If I Die Young

A few days later, everyone was at Brian's for a movie and pizza night. My brother and I still really hadn't had any time to talk one on one. School was getting closer and closer to starting, so I knew I didn't have much more time to hang out with the boys before they went back to the studio and I was busy with school.

It really seems like Johnny's avoiding me, and it' starting to bug me. If he thought that kissing me that other night was a mistake, then he should just come out and say it. I would understand if that was the case. But not talking to me or wanting to see me was just making me feel worse and worse...

"Here, Soph I grabbed you pepperoni and veggie," Zacky said, handing me two slices of pizza.

"Thanks, Zacky," I said, sending him a smile.

We sat and watched a movie I wasn't even paying attention to while everyone ate. After it was over, random conversation started up. Most of it was about getting back into the studio and ideas for the new album, things like that. I decided to go sit between Johnny and Matt, to see if I could maybe strike up a conversation with Johnny.

"So, have you guys decided when you're going to go back into the studio yet?" I asked Johnny, since Matt was having another conversation with Zack.

"Probably within the next few weeks," he said, shrugging. Wow... Way to start a conversation John.

"Are you ready to go back?" Maybe I could coax him out of his new formed shell.

"I guess."

That was it. I stood up, shaking my head, and walked out back. By the slamming of the door, I'm sure he could get it through his thick mind that I was upset with him.

"Hey, Missy. What's goin' on?" Val asked softly, as she joined me outside.

"Nothing, it's... It's nothing," I sighed, shaking my head, and leaned against the railing.

"I know something's bothering you, hun," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. Val was alwas the big sister I never had. It was always nice having her there.

"I honestly don't know anymore, Val." I ran my hands down my face as I took a deep breath. "Lately, I just feel like there's a weight on my chest with everything that's on my mind. I've never felt like this, and I hate it."

"Come on, Sweetie tell me what's going on," she said, rubbing my arm gently.

I shook my head, looking down. "I can't," I whispered.

"Why not?" She asked confused. I always told Val everything, so I could see why she was conufsed.

"It's complicated."

She was about to try to pry it out of me, but I cut her off when I saw Johnny and Brian in the kitchen arguing. I moved passed her and back into the house to barely hear a snip of their argument.

"I fucking told you, and I thought I was pretty clear," Brian hissed at Johnny.

They both stopped and looked at me when I stepped into the kitchen. "Told him what?" I asked, looking between the two of them. They looked between each other, but still said nothing. My hands balled up in frustration. "Brian," I said, making him look at me.

"It doesn't matter," Johnny mumbled, trying to walk out of the kitchen.

"Damnit, tell me what the fuck is going on!" I said, slamming one of my balled up fist down onto the counter.

They both looked at me in shock. I was never an angry person, so I could see why they were so shocked.

I turned to Johnny first. "You've been ignoring me for the last week, for I don't know why. If there was a reason, or something was on your mind, you should have just told me! Not ignore me and act as if nothing was wrong." I then turned to Brian. "And you!" His eyes widened as I yelled at him. "You have been acting like a self-proffessed asshole! What the hell has been your problem?!" I took a step back, trying to control my breathing. There was a throbbing in my hand, but I just ignored it.

"Well maybe if you weren't acting like a little tramp and getting all cozy with him, I wouldn't be fighting with one of my best friends. I wouldn't have to be threatening him, and making sure he stays the hell away from you!"

My breath caught in my throat as tears burned in my eyes. I looked over at Johnny who just looked at me with sad eyes. "So that's why you've been avoiding me? Because my big brother told you to?" I shook my head, not beleiving what I was hearing. "Whatever, I guess I have my answer now." I started backing away from them. "Oh, and Brian." He looked over at me, still in a pissy mood. "Fuck you." With that, I turned and stalked out of the kitchen, heading for the front door.

"Soph, wait," Jimmy said, grabbing my hand, but it was the wrong hand. I hissed in pain and pulled my hand to my chest.

"What's wrong with your hand?" Gena asked, concerned.

I was about to answer, but Brian and Johnny started walking towards us. "Nothing," I said, before trying to leave again.

I finally got home, tears running down my cheeks and pain throbbing in my hand. I really hated being a girl sometimes... Stupid hormones... But I was just hurt by two of the most important men in my life. How was I supposed to react?

I walked into the house, only to find that Dad was home. He was in the living room, watching a random show that was on t.v. "Hey, Kiddo I thought you would-" he stopped when he looked up at me. "Baby, what's wrong?" He asked, concern coating his voice. I shook my head as more tears streamed down my cheeks. He simply held his arms open and I crawled into his lap. He tried to calm me down, running his hands through my hair and gently rocking me back and forth.

My breathing slowed down and the tears stopped, but the heavy feeling in my chest didn't go away. "What happened, Sweetie?" Dad asked softly.

"Brian's an ass..." I mumbled, burring my face into his chest.

He laughed lightly. "Well, yes, he can be. What did he do that makes you say that?"

I sighed, not really wanting to talk to my dad about this. "He just is."

He nodded. "So, do you want to tell me what happened to your hand?" He gently took it in his hand and looked at over. It was starting to bruise from the tip of my pinky up to my wrist.

"I slammed my fist on Brian's counter top..."

He looked at me with wide eyes. "Damn, he did piss you off..." He mumbled, shaking his head. "I think we need to go get it checked out, though."

I groaned, shaking my head no. "I'll be fine, Dad."

"Soph... You just slammed your hand on a granite counter top, and it bruised right away," he said, softly. I could see the concern in his eyes and I knew exactly what he was thinking. I agreed to let him take me to get my hand checked out so it would ease his mind.