If I Die Young

Brian drove me home so we could both sit down with Dad and talk with him. As we walked through the house, there was no question of where he was at. His office has become his place of retreat lately...

"Dad," I said, knocking on the door softly as I opened it.

He looked up from his desk and looked up at me. As soon as he saw me, his eyes saddened and slightly glossed over. I sighed, walking over to him and pulling him into a hug. He held onto me tighter, and burried his face into my hair.

"Dad, you can't keep yourself locked up like this," I said, pulling away from him.

"I'm not locking myself up," he said, denying it horribly.

"Yes you are, Dad," Brian said, walking over to us.

He sighed, laying his head in his hands. "I just feel that... That if I stop drowning myself in work... That I'll have to face reality," he whispered, not looking up at me.

"Dad... I just got finished telling Brian the same thing... Just because we know what's going to happen sometime in the future, doesn't mean we have to dwell on it. I want to live my life to the fullest, no matter how much time I have left. And I want everyone else to do the same with me. I don't want to see anymore pain and suffering from the ones I love. I don't want anyone to dwell on the inevitable."

He looked up at me with watery eyes, giving me a sad smile. "How are you so strong?" He asked softly.

"I'm honestly not, Dad. I just know I don't like feeling, well like this," I said, motioning to him. "And I don't want anyone else feeling like that either."

"So, she had the idea to have a barbeque tonight at my house to just get everyone together and have some fun," Brian said, even though I knew he still wasn't completly convinced.

"Soph... Are you sure you're okay? This is a lot to take in..."

"Dad... Everyone deals with these things differently," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "And this is the way I'm dealing with it right now."

He nodded his head in understanding. "Okay, Sweetie."

It was a few hours later, before everyone started showing up to Brian's house. I still got tight hugs and sad looks, but I every time I told them it was going to be okay.

I think part of me deep down knew that if I stopped saying that, I would fall into a dark mess. I needed to keep thinking positively and try to get everyone else, along with myself through all of this.

At some point during everyone arriving, I noticed Johnny walk through the back door. Val saw him at the same time I did, and met my gaze. I was frozen in my spot and wasn't sure what to do...

I stood up from where I was sitting and told her I would be right back. I headed for the bathroom, trying to wrap my head around what I was going to do. I knew that our paths were going to cross again, but I never thought of what I would do.

As I was closing the door to the bathroom, an arm shot out and stopped me from closing it. It didn't take me long to realize who it was.

Johnny, what are you doing here?" I asked, confused as he stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He didn't say anything, he just grabbed me and kissed me as passionatly as he ever had. His fingers tangled in my hair as his other hand wrapped around my waist and pulled me close to him.

"It's not okay," he panted as we pulled away.

"What?" I asked, my mind foggy from the kiss he had just laid on me.

"I said, it's not okay. You can't just let me fall in love with you, then all of a sudden tell me how I feel. You have no idea how I feel. Fuck the standards, fuck what everything's 'supposed to be like'. I love you, and I am not going anywhere." He suddenly pulled me into the most passionate kiss that the man has ever given me. My knees felt weak, and my head spun. "Now, the rest is for you to figure out. If you want to continue what we have... Then I'll wait for you," he whispered against my lips, before walking back out the door.

My mind was spinning and I couldn't focus for a good minute. He had just come out of nowhere, then dissapeared all in a minute...

When I finally got my mind to focus, I quickly ran out the door and looked for him. I saw him walking out the front door, and knew I had to stop him or I would regret it.

"Johnny, wait!" I called, running to him. He turned just in time to pick me up into his arms. I wrapped my legs around his waist as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I brought his face to mine as I gave him a loving kiss. "Did you really mean what you said?" I whispered against his lips. He simply nodded, rubbing our noses together. I kissed him again, and didn't want to pull away.

"I mean it when I say I'm not going anywhere, Soph."