If I Die Young

"I still can't believe how much you've grown up," Brian said shaking his head as I set a plate of food on the table for the guys to snack on.

"And I don't see what you see, because I don't think I've grown up that much."

"We haven't seen you in a year, Soph. You look a hell of a lot different to us," Jimmy said, sitting back to look me over.

“They’ll get over it soon, Honey,” Dad said, kissing the top of my head as he walked by.

“So what have you been doing to keep yourself busy, Missy? Still playing softball?” Zacky asked. He hadn’t said much since they arrived, he just kept watching me. It was odd because that wasn’t like him; Zacky always had something to say.

I looked to Dad for help, but he had already gone back inside. “She doesn’t like to talk about it,” Kenna said, climbing into Matt’s lap.

“And why’s that?” Matt asked, wrapping his arms around her.

“Because she got sick and couldn’t play anymore. It made her sad for a while, but then she was okay with it.”

Everyone gave me a confused look, not understanding what my little sister was going on about. “She’s talking about when I broke my wrist,” I said, trying to think of something. People were going to be arriving for the party soon and the subject didn’t need to be brought up just yet.

“I thought you would have had plenty of healing time,” Brian said, a guilty look on his face.

“It’s fine, Bri don’t start feeling guilty about it,” I said, giving him a reassuring smile.

“I feel really bad though! You couldn’t play because of me being stupid and immature,” he pouted up at me.

I sighed, going over and sitting on his lap. “It is not your fault, so stop thinking that way before I’m forced to make you stop.”

“Oh, I’m so scared of my baby sister,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“Fine, I’ll just tell Mom that I caught you and Chel again,” I said, shrugging and starting to stand up.

“You wouldn’t,” he muttered, keeping me in his lap.

“Oh, I would.”

“How did you become such a brat?” He asked, laying his head on my shoulder.

“I learned from the best,” I smirked, patting his head.

“Well, I was going to see if you wanted to go have some fun this weekend, but I think I’ll just taken Brent instead,” he shrugged, letting me up from his lap.

“What kind of fun?” Mom asked, immediately freezing.

“I don’t know, probably going up to Big Bear or something. Nothing too far from home, we just got back.”

“I don’t know…” she said, giving him a weary look.

“Suzy, calm down. It’s not like I’m taking her sky diving or anything,” he said, laughing softly.

I saw Mom’s eyes tearing up a bit, before she turned around and went back inside. “That was weird…” Johnny said, speaking what was on everyone’s mind. I sighed, going inside to find her and make sure she was okay.

She had gone back to busying herself with cooking, like always. “Mom,” I put my hand on her shoulder, trying to get her attention.

“He doesn’t know how fragile you’ve become,” I could hear the tears in her voice.

“Ma,” I turned her around and brought her into my arms. “You need to stop worrying so much,” I said, rubbing her back, trying to calm her down.

“It’s so hard not worrying about you. After watching my baby go through that much pain and suffering…” She shook her head, looking away from me.

“Mom, I’m okay now, you know that. There’s no way you’re going to get rid of me, no matter what.” I was used to reassuring my mom like this. don’t’ get me wrong, she was there day and night for me, but I couldn’t sit by and watch her break down like this.

“What’s this now?” Dad asked, walking into the kitchen. “I thought today was supposed to be a happy day.”

“It is, every days is a happy day,” I said, kissing his cheek and leaving him to comfort Mom. He was always the one to calm and comfort everyone.

I was walking down the hall, when a hand sprung out and pulled me into the bathroom. “What the crap?” I was a bit freaked out, until I saw it was Zacky.

“Okay, something is wrong here, start explaining.” He crossed his arms over his chest and waited for me to say something.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Zacky,” I said, giving him a weird look and trying to play it off.

“Soph, I know you better than that. Something is seriously wrong here with the way Suzy’s acting, then with what Kenna said earlier.”

“Just drop it, Zacky okay? It’s not something that needs to be brought up right now.”

His frown deepened as he let his arms drop to his sides. “How bad is it, Soph?”

“Again, it’s nothing to bring up, especially right now.” I walked away before he could keep pestering me for answers.

The day went on, full of laughter and fun with friends and family. Zacky didn’t ask me anymore questions, but just continued to watch me.

When the sun went down, Dad started up the fire pit and only the guys and their girls were left at the house. I was walking by Brian, when he randomly pulled me onto his lap again. “Hi, Bri,” I said, laughing.

“You’ve been avoiding me like the black plague all night long,” he pouted, laying his head on my shoulder.

“I have not,” I protested.

“She’s been avoiding all of us,” Matt piped up.

“I think it’s because she has something to tell us, but is too scared,” Zacky suddenly said. I shot him a glare as everyone else looked at the two of us, confused.

“I told you to drop it, Zachary.”

Dad sighed, before standing up and walking over to me. “Maybe it’s time to tell them, Sweetie,” he said softly, placing his hand on my shoulder.

“No,” I said, standing up from Brian’s lap and shaking my head. “This does not need to be brought up right now. It can wait until tomorrow.”

“What’s going on?” Brian asked, a little unsure if he wanted to know.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it,” I said, not taking my head away from Dad’s. I wanted to make sure he knew I didn’t want anything said today. They just got home and didn’t need to be brought to knowledge about something that is anything but happy. This was their time to wined and have fun after coming home from a year long tour.

No, this could wait until tomorrow, or even a few days from now.