Swimming in Your Subconscious
Chapter Four
Without even thinking (not that he could even form a coherent thought if he tried), Brendon rapidly ripped the ribbon off of the letters and grabbed one. He began reading the familiar writing.
Dear Brendon,
First thing I want to say is that I love you. I always have and I always will.
I know that I’ve never written you before, but as soon as I heard your album, I couldn’t restrain myself. Yes, I’ve heard and listened to your new album. It’s everything that I’ve always wanted. I couldn’t make a better album even if I went to heaven and talked with the angels. I always knew you had it in you. You never knew this, but sometimes I would secretly read your private journal filled with lyrics that you poured out from your heart. I was always envious of your natural talent. You had the voice, lyrics, and guitar talent, all of which were natural. I forced all of mine, if that wasn’t obvious.
I never gave you the real reason why I left the band. I dodged all around your question, giving half-assed ones that didn’t mean anything. Do you want to know the real reason why I left? Well, here you go: I left because of you.
Now please don’t go and take that the wrong way, Bren. I know you better than you think and I know how you overreact over things. I left because I felt like I was suffocating you. I was limiting your talent and abilities. You knew I was set in my certain ways and it actually pained me that you thought your own personal opinions on music would offend me. They wouldn’t have, baby, they would never have. They would have made me prouder of you.
You were and always have been so much better than me. I’ve always thought that you’ve deserved someone besides me. Somebody who could give you everything you ever wanted.
I’m getting beside myself right now. I just wanted you to know that I love you. I never will stop. You’re on my mind 24/ 7. You’re all I think about. You’re the sole part of my heart and that will never change.
You’ll always me my Brenny-Bear and I’ll always be your RyRo.
Love,
Ryan.
PS. The whole album was written about you.
Brendon was shaking. He just wanted his Ryan to come back home.
Dear Brendon,
First thing I want to say is that I love you. I always have and I always will.
I know that I’ve never written you before, but as soon as I heard your album, I couldn’t restrain myself. Yes, I’ve heard and listened to your new album. It’s everything that I’ve always wanted. I couldn’t make a better album even if I went to heaven and talked with the angels. I always knew you had it in you. You never knew this, but sometimes I would secretly read your private journal filled with lyrics that you poured out from your heart. I was always envious of your natural talent. You had the voice, lyrics, and guitar talent, all of which were natural. I forced all of mine, if that wasn’t obvious.
I never gave you the real reason why I left the band. I dodged all around your question, giving half-assed ones that didn’t mean anything. Do you want to know the real reason why I left? Well, here you go: I left because of you.
Now please don’t go and take that the wrong way, Bren. I know you better than you think and I know how you overreact over things. I left because I felt like I was suffocating you. I was limiting your talent and abilities. You knew I was set in my certain ways and it actually pained me that you thought your own personal opinions on music would offend me. They wouldn’t have, baby, they would never have. They would have made me prouder of you.
You were and always have been so much better than me. I’ve always thought that you’ve deserved someone besides me. Somebody who could give you everything you ever wanted.
I’m getting beside myself right now. I just wanted you to know that I love you. I never will stop. You’re on my mind 24/ 7. You’re all I think about. You’re the sole part of my heart and that will never change.
You’ll always me my Brenny-Bear and I’ll always be your RyRo.
Love,
Ryan.
PS. The whole album was written about you.
Brendon was shaking. He just wanted his Ryan to come back home.