All of the Above

"W-What are you doing here?"

"Hi, Nicolette," he said, a small smile dancing on his lips as he took in my messy appearance. "Nice to see you, too."

"Jordan. What the hell are you doing here?" I repeated.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

I looked back over my shoulder at the closed bedroom door. Ethan was still in there.

I bit my lip. "No, now really isn't a good time."

"Why not?"

As the words left Jordan's mouth, I felt Ethan walk up behind me. I closed my eyes for a moment before reopening them, stepping aside.

"Ethan, this is Jordan, a boy I grew up with," I explained before continuing. "Jordan, this is Ethan, my boyfriend."

Ethan looked him up and down, already judging the hockey player. Jordan gave a light smile, trying to be friendly as he mumbled out something about how it was nice to meet Ethan.

"Could, um," I began, turning to my boyfriend. "Could you give us a few minutes?"

He shrugged. "I guess, whatever."

Jordan and I stepped outside into the hallway as I closed the door. I stood there with my arms crossed looking at the man before me. It wasn't hard to see that he had changed. He probably grew another inch or so, was more muscular, and had gone from this shy and innocent kid to a brave and bold man. I was almost taken aback.

"I don't like him," he told me.

"I'm not asking you to like him, that's the funny thing."

"He's no good for you, Nicolette. He doesn't deserve you."

"Will you just tell me what you came here to say?" I asked him.

He let out a shaky breath. "I'm in love with you."

I stayed quiet as the air in my lungs vanished, avoiding his eyes and fumbling with the hem of my shirt. I didn't know what to say to that. We hadn't seen each other in nearly four years and all of sudden he shows up and tells me this.

"Say something, please," he begged after more than a minute. "Anything."

"I have a boyfriend, that I love."

"You don't love him," Jordan replied almost immeadiately.

"How would you know?" I asked, growing a bit angry. "You can't tell me who I love and don't love."

"Because you're scared--terrified even--to get close to people. You push people away, that's what you do. You're friends changed all through high school, and you went through guys like they were just some goddamn object. You treated people like shit when you sensed even the slightest bit of attachment," he told me.

I refused to look at him at this point.

"But you're not like this because you want to be, Nicolette," Jordan said. "You're family was even closer than mine when I first met you. The four of you did everything together. And then your dad left. Your mom turned to alcohol, your brother turned to hockey. You didn't have anything, or anybody. You sincerely believe that it's impossible to be with someone for the rest of your life, so you put on this act and get people to believe that nothing's wrong, when really, you're just too afraid to let someone in."

I could feel the tears pricking at my eyes, and I knew that if I looked up at him they would fall.

"Even though I think you're the biggest, most ignorant bitch I've ever known," he continued, leaving me with a certain sting. "I can't help but think all you need is someone who wants to be there for you, help you pick up the pieces so that you're not broken anymore. So no, you don't love him. But I love you, and I want to show you that it's possible for two people to be together forever, only if you're willing to let me."

A moment passes. "You should go," I whispered.

Jordan's face fell, along with his mood. I could feel it. I dipped my head even lower and turned to the door, opening it and stepping inside before shutting it in his face. I rested my forehead against the wall for a moment then looked through the peephole. Jordan was tugging at his hair and looked like he wanted to punch something.

"Everything okay?" I heard Ethan call from the couch.

"Yeah, fine," I answered, turning around with a smile and heading over to him.

"Where were we then?" he said in a seductive tone as he tried to drag me to the bedroom.

"Not right now."

"Is it because of that Jordan guy?"

"No," I answered maybe a little too quickly. "I'm just tired, that's all."