Extraterrestrial

Ninety percent of the juniors and seniors at my high school spent Saturday afternoon running around like decapitated chickens. There were hair and nail appointments, tuxedo and corsage pick-ups, last minute dress changes—the list went on and on. Now, it was almost sunset, and the excitement of every prom attendee in the area was practically tangible. It seemed as if the only teenagers in town who wouldn’t be congregating at the local Hilton ballroom all evening were the freshman and sophomores.

Well, the freshman and sophomores and me.

“Jade!” My brother Grant poked his head out of the living room. “Turn that shit down. I’m watching MythBusters.”

I glared at him from the dining room table. I was fully aware of just how pathetic it was to be table-dancing to Katy Perry in my own home instead of going to prom, but I didn’t have a date. I was bored. And I needed some way to pass the time until my Chinese food arrived.

“Watch TV upstairs!” I told Grant. “You don’t technically live here, which means you have no right to tell me where I can and cannot sing and dance.”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, well, I do happen to be a Duke University student. A student who is acing the shit out of all his classes. I outrank you. You’re a horrible singer, anyway.”

I gave him the finger with both hands and crawled off of the table. Just to annoy him, I continued singing on my way into the kitchen. The song was just so damn catchy.

“Christ on a sandwich, Jade. You don’t have the vocal range for this song. Just…stop.”

I sang louder as I poured myself a glass of water. It was about halfway full when there was a crash from outside, barely audible over the music. I was closer to the door, so I moved to investigate, while Grant took the opportunity to turn the music down to a reasonable volume.

I opened the front door and peered cautiously outside. I wouldn’t have been surprised to see the Chinese delivery car sitting motionless against the bottom of the hill, three pink lawn flamingoes underneath its tires. It was because of them that we didn’t need a doorbell—any noise from outside tended to signal that someone had run into the flamingoes, and that we had a visitor.

But there was no Chinese delivery car. My stomach grumbled in disappointment.

There was, however, a thin male figure lying sandwiched between the flamingoes and an enormous motorcycle.

“Um…” I set my water down, not yet sure if I should be worried. “Are you okay?”

When there was no answer but a low groan, I let the door fall shut behind me and sprinted down the hill. The figure beneath the bike attempted to sit up. He abandoned his efforts in the next second. I nearly had a heart attack. I hurried over, seized the portion of the bike closest to me, and heaved. Agony shot up my arms like an injection.

“Holy shit.” My arms shook in an effort to keep from dropping the bike onto the guy “Um, now would be a good time for you to get up.”

As he crawled out from under the bike’s looming weight, I could have sworn that their skin was imprinted with some sort of metallic design. The brief glimpse I got reminded me of a computer chip, but before I could think on it any longer, he pushed himself to his feet and my arms screamed at me to release the bike.

The flamingoes were crushed once more. But the bike’s other victim, now freed, looked at me inquisitively.

He was a guy about my age, with cinnamon skin and and hair like solid ink tied in a neat ponytail. He wore a thick zip-up hoodie with the sleeves rolled up, fitted jeans with a number of interesting objects stuck in the belt, and enormous combat boots—all black. And he was cute. Cute enough to make me forget my manners and render me incapable of doing anything other than standing and staring at him like a dumbass.

The boy glanced up at the slowly-darkening sky with apprehension. Then he lowered his gaze back to me, and the direct eye contact was enough to shock me into remembering that he was probably injured.

“Are you okay? I’m really sorry about the flamingoes, they’re all my Dad’s fault…do you need me to call an ambulance?”

“I am…okay,” he replied. The words sounded strange coming from his mouth, like he wasn’t used to English. “I lost focus for one moment and could not regain control of the motorbike. I was merely winded by the fall. An ambulance is unnecessary.”

“…Right,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him. He didn’t look injured—no protruding bones or anything—but what about internal bleeding? “Well, I still think I should call an ambulance anyway. Just to make sure.”

He nodded. “Whatever you think is best.”

I looked at him questioningly for a moment, then shook my head and gestured for him to follow me inside. I glanced back at him frequently to make sure he hadn’t collapsed and grew more and more worried each time I saw him walking along like the picture of health. Who the hell was this kid?

It wasn’t until I’d already let him into the house that I realized he might be dangerous. Wasn’t this the stuff of horror movies—someone fakes an accident in order to receive help from an unsuspecting passerby, then really turns out to be a murderous psychopath? I looked warily at the boy as my mind ran rampant with paranoia. He was gazing at each aspect of the foyer as if it were completely foreign to him.

“You’re not a serial killer, are you?” I blurted out.

His lips twitched. “I am not.”

“Then who are you? And why aren’t you hurt?”

“I am Ravi,” the boy said simply. “I came to this planet in search of my youngest female sibling Zereida, who finds great joy in running away from home and forcing us to come after her. She has always been fascinated by you Earthlings and I suspect she has chosen this planet as her hiding spot this time. Would you mind telling me what country I seem to have landed in?”

I stared blankly at him. He tilted his head to the side, seeming confused.

“Is English not your language of preference? Prefieres español? Oder deutsch? Ou en français?—”

“No, no, no, English is fine,” I interrupted, sure somehow, that he would have kept going. “I’m just…I’m sorry, did you say you were from another planet?”

Ravi smiled. “Yes. I am a resident of the planet Pluto.”

I couldn’t help it—I started laughing. I’d pulled way too many all-nighters doing homework lately and the fact that there was some creeper in my house claiming he lived on Pluto was just too much to bear.

“Pluto. Oh, okay,” I said in between hyena shrieks. I took an object from his belt at random to further supplement my hysteria. It looked like a pair of really fancy scissors.“And let me guess, this is some type of—”

As soon my my hand curled around the handle, the scissors’ blades grew three feet and became so heavy my arm pitched toward the ground.

“—Alien….defense…mechanism…”

Slowly, I looked up at Ravi, who was watching me with amusement.

“Here,” he said kindly. He took the scissors, flipped the handle in a way that made the blades slash through the air like a desperate kick, and placed them back into his belt.

I didn’t know what else to to besides stare at him. He had to be crazy. Sure, I believed in aliens—in that whimsical sort of way that would in no way extend to the actual existence of an alien. But for one to land in my yard and crush my Dad’s lawn flamingoes? It was absolutely impossible.

“You can’t be from Pluto,” I childishly declared. “It’s not even a planet anymore.”

His face darkened for the first time since we’d met.

“Pluto is my home.”

“You keep saying that. But…I mean, aliens don’t exist…”

Ravi seized a daisy from the vase next to the door and held it delicately between his fingertips. He focused his gaze, and the flower changed color from yellow to ice blue to the black of death. He blew gently, and the daisy crumbled into tiny pieces and swirled down to the floor in a shower of particles.

Then he took an electric blue pen from his belt. He clicked it, unsheathing the tip of a thin serrated knife, and sank the blade into his eyeball.

I screamed. Horrified, I watched as he used the knife to pull his eyeball out of his head. A thick greenish-silver substance stuck to the back of the eye, then took on a life of its own as he removed the knife. The end result was something vaguely crab-like and extremely unsettling. I screamed again as he stabbed his other eye, only to realize a second later than he was merely trying to make things even.

“Jade?” Grant’s half-worried voice came from the direction of the living room. “Did you just get murdered?”

Ignoring him, I stared up at Ravi. His eyes bobbed above his head on bouncy tendrils of goo. The rest of him, however, appeared perfectly normal.

“Okay…so, no ambulance,” I said weakly. “No ambulance; alien in the foyer. Awesome.”

“Jade!”

It was Grant’s you-better-not-be-pretending-not-to-hear-me-just-to-freak-me-out-or-i’m-going-to-kick-your-ass voice.

“Yeah?” I shouted back.

“What’s wrong?”

I glanced at Ravi.

“Um, nothing. Everything’s fine.”

I took three deep breaths. I knew it wouldn’t help, but I needed to at least appear like I could handle the sudden arrival of extraterrestrial beings. I didn’t need the cute alien to think I was unstable.

“Can you, um, put your eyes back in your face?” I asked. “Please.”

I turned around, not wanting to witness the gruesome return. After hearing two shiver-inducing squelches, I faced him. He looked like a regular boy once again. I forced myself not to dwell too much on the eyeball thing and instead tried to be helpful.

“So…what can I do for you?”

“What country have I landed in? This information will be of great assistance in my compilation of places Zereida could possibly be hiding.”

“…America?”

“The United States of America. Okay.” He was silent for a moment. Then: “I will require some type of sustenance while I think.”

“…You mean like food?”

“Yes. If it is not too much trouble.”

“Follow me.”

I led the way to the kitchen, casually holding the wall for support. The whole eyeball thing had made me dizzier than I’d like to admit. I leaned against the island in the center of the black tile sea and made a wide gesture with my hands.

“What do you want?”

“Marshmallows and ketchup, perhaps.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“It is the Earthly equivalent to my favorite meal back home.”

“…Okay.”

The second I moved toward the cupboard containing the marshmallows, I heard footsteps in the hallway. Ravi tensed and whipped out his scissor-sword. And a second later, Grant walked in, an empty bag of chips crushed in his hand and a perplexed expression on his face.

“Jade?”

“Yes?”

“Why is there a sword-wielding M. Night Shyamalan lookalike in our kitchen?”

“Um…” Both of them looked at me expectantly.

Ravi returned the sword to his belt.

“Judging from your similar light cocoa skin tone and dark hair, I presume that this man is of some relation to you.”

“Yeah, he’s my brother.”

“I apologize.”

Grant’s eyes narrowed. He walked slowly over to the trash can to throw away his chips, keeping his eyes on Ravi the whole time.

“Where’d he come from?” he asked me. “Is he taking you to prom or something? I thought you couldn’t find a date or a group of friends.”

Right. Prom. I’d completely forgotten about distracting myself from the fact that I didn’t have enough of a social life to attend. It seemed millions of lightyears away from the flamingo-crushing, motorbike-driving alien who’d fallen onto my front lawn.

“What is this ‘prom’ he speaks of?” wondered Ravi.

“It’s a stupid fancy dance for high school juniors and seniors. It’s a ridiculously huge deal to most people, but I really just don’t care.” After a quick glance at the clock, I continued. “It starts in about half an hour.”

He looked intrigued. “Do lots of people attend these…proms?”

“Practically the entire school.”

Ravi smiled suddenly. “Then I will need to attend this prom.

“What?”

Grant looked pleased. “Oh, good. Take Jade with you. Everyone should go to their senior prom.”

“Shut up, Grant. I’m not going anywhere.”

Ignoring me, he continued. “She has a dress she can wear. Her hair looks fine how it is. She doesn’t have an excuse. Knock her out and drag her there if you have to.”

My jaw dropped. “Grant!”

“You need to go to prom, sis.”

“Fuck you!”

“I’ll even drive you guys; I’m that excited. Can you be ready in twenty minutes?”

He disappeared down the hallway without waiting for an answer. Ravi watched all of this with an infuriatingly adorable smile. I turned to give him my best death glare.

“I do not wish to upset you, Jade,” he said, his smile faltering slightly. “I am hesitant myself about encountering such a large number of beings. But…I believe that my sister might be at this prom.”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“She is very fond of parties and social gatherings. It seems like a logical place to start. I promise that if I am unable to find her, we can leave immediately.”

My death glare transformed into a skeptical look. The idea of prom itself was enough to make me want to stab out my own eyeballs with a knife. But the idea of prom with Ravi, who seemed to become more attractive each second…that actually didn’t sound so horrible.

I didn’t know why I was so desperate to please him. Okay, maybe I did. But I couldn’t bear the idea of saying no. Maybe it was because things like this never happened to me, or because I secretly harbored the desire to have my own personal Cinderella moment, or maybe it was because I wanted to show up with a hot guy and mess with the minds of everyone who’d deemed me too socially awkward to date. Or maybe it was a combination of all three. For whatever reason, I found myself warming to the idea.

“Fine,” I said, sighing. “But I swear, if you pull that eyeball nonsense again, I am leaving you by the punch bowl.”

+++

Grant’s offer to drive us turned out to be unnecessary.

I threw on my nicest dress and, despite Grant’s statement, fixed my hair. I stumbled down the stairs in my only pair of heels. Ravi leaned against the kitchen doorway, twirling a set of keys. He’d changed into a tux he’d borrowed from Grant, and it only made him look more handsome, if possible. I studied him from the bottom of the stairs as I made sure my hair hadn’t strayed from its strict ponytail. A second or two before I felt completely presentable, he turned toward me.

His eyes swept over me quickly before turning away. The keys dropped to the floor. He snatched them up and clutched them in his hand, still not meeting my gaze.

“You really think your sister will be there?”

He blinked. “I am almost positive.”

“Good. I mean…I would still go with you anyway,” I added.

Ravi smiled. “I see you have had a change of heart.”

“Yeah, yeah. Where’s Grant?”

“Your brother’s services are not required. I am able to drive.”

“Drive what? You don’t seriously expect me to believe he’s letting you borrow his car—” I stopped, remembering how I’d discovered Ravi in the first place. “Oh, no.”

Ravi straightened, the keys once again spinning. “Do you like motorbikes, Jade?”

I didn’t have a choice. The next thing I knew, I was clutching his wonderfully-taut abs as we hurtled down the road. I screamed for nearly a minute before my hysteria dissolved into less-embarrassing shrieks that only slipped out when Ravi took a turn or weaved through traffic at a particularly adventurous speed. Gradually, I loosened my grasp on his midsection and opened my eyes. The knot of fear in my stomach unraveled into limp string, and for the first time in a long time, I felt like I was having fun.

Ravi made a ridiculously conspicuous entrance to the hotel parking lot by zipping through the limousines and depositing me in front of the door. He drove off to find parking and I suddenly found myself the resting place of curious eyes drawn by the rumble of the bike’s motor. A group of grossly-tan popular kids looked at me on their way inside, but before I could get too disappointed about not receiving a hello, I heard my friends.

“Jade!”

The two of them hurried out from the hotel’s entrance.

“See, I told you she would come! You owe me twenty dollars!”

Margo had a cheese puff on a napkin in her hand and Libba was digging angrily through her pink sequined clutch.

“I knew you would come. I reserved you two tickets, just in case,” Margo said.

Libba handed over the money with unnecessary force.

“So, who’s your date?”

“Is it Grant?” joked Margo.

I scoffed. “No! Why would I bring my brother?”

“Then who—”

Libby fell silent. Margo let the napkin fall from her fingers. Both of their expressions showed shock at something behind me.

“Jade?” Ravi said.

I waved him over, smiling. The looks on my friends’ faces were almost enough to send me into another laughing fit, but I managed to stay composed.

“Ravi, these are my friends Libba and Margo.”

“I am extremely pleased to make your acquaintance.”

Libba made a strangled noise of surprise; Margo remained silent. My amusement widened my grin.

“Let’s go inside.”

I let Ravi go in front of me so he could start searching for his sister. My friends snapped out of their stupor and followed me like vultures.

“Holy shit, Jade…”

Margo seized my arm. “Where the hell did you find him?”

“He kind of…dropped out of the sky,” I said.

“You lucky little whore,” said Libba.

I could tell they wanted to know more, but just then their dates (Libba’s boyfriend and some guy Margo had met at Pizza Hut) peeled away from the crowd and requested their attention. I received identical you-owe-me-details-later looks and rolled my eyes in response.

Ravi joined me where I stood near the wall.

“There are far too many people in attendance. I am incapable of feeling my sister’s life essence, let alone seeing her with my own eyes.”

“Do you think she might be in the crowd somewhere?”

His looked anxiously toward the middle of the ballroom.

“Perhaps.”

“Then I guess we should dance.” I grabbed his hand and tried to tug him along. He didn’t move. Studying his face closely, I detected a hint of actual fear and had to bite back a laugh. Mr. Badass Alien was scared of some high schoolers?

“I do not know how to dance,” he offered.

“That’s okay; I don’t either.”

He gave me al look similar to the one I’d given him when he’d announced that he was taking me to prom. But when I tugged on his hand again, he allowed himself to be pulled into the crowd.

I hadn’t lied when I said I didn’t know how to dance. Mostly I just mimicked those around me and threw myself around in some semblance of dance-related movement. Ravi took a cue from me, and we moved to the beat of some upbeat rap song, looking just as idiotic as those around us.

It took some serious mental quarreling to admit to myself that this was actually fun. Sure, I hated most of the people around me, and my dancing was more comparable to some sort of muscle spasm than an actual form of dancing, but I was enjoying myself.

My only complaint was the way some girls kept looking at Ravi. They’d pass by on their way out of the crowd and do a double take, like they’d never seen a cute guy before. Some of the braver ones would even work their way in front of me, slithering around to the music like drunk snakes.

Fuck off, I wanted to say. He’s my alien.

Ravi could take care of himself, however. He casually rebuffed their advances, which made me ecstatic. And my good mood only increased when the music changed to a slow song. Ravi looked at me.

“Why has the spastic movement ceased?”

“It’s, uh, a slow song. You’re supposed to dance more slowly.”

“Oh.”

He momentarily studied those around us before reaching gingerly for my waist. I put my arms around his neck.

“Are you…comfortable with this kind of intimate touching?”

“Yeah, I’m good.”

I tried my best not to smile like I was on drugs. As we swayed to the music, I began to wish that Ravi’s sister would never appear. Even though I’d only met Ravi about an hour ago, I already didn’t want him to leave.

Great. I was turning into Bella Swan.

“This is fun,” Ravi declared. “Why were you originally so adverse to this experience?”

I hesitated. I knew it was unwise to unload all of your emotional baggage on someone you’d only just met. But I wasn’t sure if the same rules applied on a different planet. Were people more forward on Pluto? Would he be alarmed if I detailed the four years of social misfortune that had ultimately led to my decision to avoid senior prom like the swine flu? In the end I decided to summarize and keep things concise. No need to over-share and make him feel awkward.

“Most people go to prom with either a huge group of friends or a date. And I had neither, so I didn’t really see the point.”

“Are Margo and Libba not your friends?”

“They have their own dates. They offered to let me hang out with them, of course, but I’ve been the third wheel before and I hated it.”

Ravi nodded. “That is understandable. But…Jade?”

“Yes?”

“I would be your friend. And your date.”

“You are my date.”

“I am aware. I simply wanted to inform you that I enjoy your company very much. You are…different than most humans.”

“I am?”

“Yes. And you are certainly one of the prettiest,” he said. Instantly, he seemed embarrassed, and fell silent.

I thanked him with a smile. The song took on a different tune, and I let my head fall onto his chest. He pulled me closer automatically. As we swayed, I looked up at him. He was smiling down at me and his lips were so close I felt like my stomach had turned to honey. His lids lowered along with his gaze and my heart skipped a beat. He was going to kiss me. He was really going to—

Wait. Were alien kiss signals the same as human ones? How was I supposed to know that an alien looking at my lips meant I want to kiss you and not I’m going to wrap my extendable eyeballs around your throat and choke the life from your body?

Ravi’s head turned sharply.

“Zereida?”

I groaned inwardly. He had to spot his sister now? Couldn’t it have waited, like, three minutes?

I looked where he was looking. Several feet away, a stick thin girl in a blue dress with Ravi’s good looks and skin tone was grinding against some football player, tossing her long hair all over the place. The football player seemed to be enjoying the situation way too much.

Obviously, this did not please Ravi.

“Step a reasonable distance away from my sister, you unintelligent cretin!” he shouted, reaching for his sword.

Before I could warn him that most high schoolers on Earth weren’t accustomed to the sight of enormous alien weaponry, he’d charged at the football player with an unintelligible war cry.

Zereida shoved her dance partner out of danger and dodged the blow herself. When Ravi’s sword hit the ground, she glared at him, arms planted firmly on her hips.

“You are the worst elder brother in the entire galaxy!” she shrieked.

From the front of her dress she retrieved a tube of lipstick that, when uncapped, transformed into a long whip-like string whose orange color resembled a fire. She snapped the string in Ravi’s direction, and when it came into contact with the toe of his combat boot, the smell of burning rubber filled the air.

Apparently, teenage girls on Pluto received fire whips for their sixteenth birthdays instead of cars.

“Return home, Zereida!” yelled Ravi.

By now the two of them had attracted a sizable crowd of onlookers. I noticed a few of the chaperones starting to make their way over and desperately racked my brain for a plausible explanation to give them.

“Never!”

The kids around us started hollering and chattering excitedly. The chaperones exchanged glances. For a second, a look of panic crossed Ravi’s face. Then he smiled.

“Never fear. I know how to settle this dispute.”

He launched himself at her and trapped her in a tight hug.

“I embrace you to remind you of all that you have left at home, and to beg your prompt return.”

“I loathe you with every ounce of my Plutonian life essence,” Zereida snapped.

“You cannot ignore the ancient custom, sister. It is the ruling of our parents that you cease your hiding game once I invoke the proper words.”

Zereida sighed and returned the hug with extreme reluctance. When they separated, she put her lipstick tube away and gave Ravi a look of deepest hate. He beamed in response.

The crowd that had gathered gave a collective groan, disappointed by the lack of further action. Muttering to their friends, everyone slowly returned to their previous activities. It was clear that they all thought it had been a clever demonstration by the Anime Club or something.

Sometimes the utter stupidity of my classmates was astounding.

After the crowd had dispersed, Ravi beckoned me to his side. He was still grinning so widely that I felt myself mirroring his expression.

“I would like you to meet my sister. Zereida, this is Jade.”

Zereida looked me up and down.

“Your dress gives you the appearance of a harlot,” she said.

Ravi let his face fall into his palm.

“I apologize.” He turned to Zereida with a stern look on his face. “You should apologize as well, Zereida.”

She rolled her eyes so forcefully that her pupils disappeared into the back of her head. I shuddered.

“I am sorry,” she said through gritted teeth. “May we depart now?”

Ravi glanced toward me.

“I must return Jade to her place of residence. Please meet me there.”

He told her where I lived, though I didn’t know how he knew my exact address. Zereida sighed and disappeared into thin air with a small pop!

“How—”

“We Plutonians are capable of teleportation. I would have used this method to transport us here, but teleportation is fatal for humans.”

“Oh. That’s comforting.”

Ravi reached for my hand.

“We may leave now. I do not wish to torture you any longer.”

Really, as long as I was with him, we could have gone roller skating on Saturn’s rings for all I cared. But I didn’t want to keep him from what he’d come here for in the first place, so I placed my hand in his and allowed him to lead me to the bike.

When we got home, Zereida was sitting in the driveway, pouting with her arms crossed over her chest. Ravi parked beside her. He looked hesitantly at me.

“I am afraid this is where we must say our goodbyes, Jade.”

“Wait!”

I hopped off of the bike and ran toward the house

“Just wait one minute!” I shouted over my shoulder.

I tore through the kitchen like a small tornado and was back outside two minutes later with a thermos in my hand. Zereida was sitting on the bike at the bottom of the hill, while Ravi waited for me near the front door.

“Here,” I said, handing him the thermos.

He appeared confused, but took the thermos and unscrewed the cap. A dazzling smile illuminated his face.

“Marshmallows and ketchup,” he said, sounding somewhat awestruck. “Thank you very much, Jade.”

Zereida made an impatient noise from her perch on the bike. Ravi ignored her and recapped the thermos.

“So…” I said. “I guess this is it.”

“Yes.” He took a step towards me; my heart lurched with excitement. “This is…it.”

Ravi moved closer and closer until it was like we were dancing again. His gaze stayed on my lips until the last possible second, when he met my eyes and gave me a small smile.

Then he kissed me. An electric shock of pleasure spiked through me. At risk of sounding cliché, it was completely out of this world.

When he pulled away, I felt a strange rush of heat wash over my skin. I looked down at my arms to see that the same metallic computer chip design I’d glimpsed on him earlier was now imprinted on my own skin. The swirls and squares shimmered with different colors, and when I looked at him, I saw that he was glowing as well.

“You glow in the dark,” I said weakly. “Why am I not surprised?”

Ravi laughed. “Do not worry. Your glow is only temporary. But while it lasts…you will at least have something by which to remember me.”

“I couldn’t forget you even if I tried, Ravi.”

He smiled and kissed me again. The tingling heat on my skin increased, surprisingly pleasant. As I was reaching up to put my fingers through his hair, there was a sudden rumbling noise from behind us. We broke apart just in time to see Zereida and the motorcycle taking off into the night sky.

“Enjoy searching for me on Uranus!” she shouted, and cackled with laughter.

The motorcycle disappeared in between two stars. Ravi spat out a foreign word that I knew had to be some kind of vulgar Plutonian curse. But he looked at me with kindness.

“I will return,” he said, tracing my cheek with his finger. “You are, without a doubt, my favorite human.”

And with one final smile, he was gone.

I pitched my eyes upward.

All was normal among the cosmos, save for two spots of light moving around the moon at a rapid pace, one in annoyed pursuit of the other.