Drop The World

Sittinqq Here Stuck On Stupidd, Tryna Tew Fiqure Out...

When, What, & How Ima Let This Come Up Out Of My Mouth

Said It Aint Gone Be Eazy !

But I Need Tew Stop Thinkinqq & Contemplatinqq

Be A Man, & Get It Over With, Over With

I'm Ridinqq Inn Myy Whipp

Racinqq Her To Place

Talkinqq Tew Myselff,

Preparinqq Of How Ima Tell Her Dis To Her Face

She Opened Up The Door, & Didnt Wanna Come Near Me !

I Saidd : "One Second Pleasee Babyy Hear Me!"

<>Usher<> Sonqq : Confessions pt II

$-Rashad-$

I was wearing a beater and a pair of basketball shorts, and Carmen was wearing a black halter top that stopped above her pierced belly button, and a black mini ruffled skirt to match. Damn...she's just beautiful.

Anyway, to our luck we found a brand new 2010 escalade in the garage from Carmen's mom. There was a note attatched from Claudia, and in was just an apology and the car keys. Imagine our faces when we saw that! I mean, who has money like that?

Anyway, I drove us to the beach and we both got out. We've been here for an hour, just talking and cuddling, lying down on top of the hood of the truck. It was only 2 pm now, and the beach was starting to get crowded but not that much.

"You know Rashad...these past 2 months have been the best days of my life...I don't wanna lose you." She said, looking me in the eyes.

We were lying next to eachother, but her legs were in between mine.

"I know Carmen...but-"

I was cut off by my phone ringing...and that's not a good sign.

"Hold on bay." I said, with a sigh pulling my phone out.

Carmen shook her head and lied her head on my chest.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Rashad?! Oh my god baby! How have you been?!" Shonnie giggled, into the phone.

"Shonnie?!" I exclaimed, sitting up, knocking Carmen off of me.

"Yes baby! It's me! Slade gave me your number because he knew I wouldn't give any info out, but how have you been? When are you coming home? Baby I miss you..." She laughed.

What the fxck?! I looked at Carmen, and her face was turning beet red...oh shi+...she heard Shonnie!

"Sh-Shonnie...I gotta go." I whispered.

Carmen shook her head and then hopped off the car, walking off.

"No! Carmen wait!" I called after her.

Fxck!

"Carmen? Who the hell is that?!" Shonnie yelled, angry.

"I gotta go, bye!" I snapped.

I know that was bogus, but I can't let Carmen just walk off! Damn it! Out of all times, Shonnie decides to call now! Fxck, what am I going to say to Carmen?!

"Carmen! Carmen!" I called after her.

I ran after her and when I caught up she lashed out on me, with a punch, barely missing my face. Damn!

"I hate you Rashad! I can't believe you! So that's why you wouldn't tell me you loved me, huh?! Because you had a girl all along?! I hate you!" She cried, with tears rolling down her face.

I've seen Carmen mad, hurt, and cry. But none of it adds up to this...& it feels a thousand times worse that I'm the cause. Oh shi+...

"Carmen just listen to me! I can explain, hear me out!" I pleaded, grabbing her by her shoulders.

We had an audience, and people that were walking by, stopped and bean to watch. Nosey ass people...but I could give a fxck less now.

"No! Get away from me Rashad! I was a joke to you! I trusted you with everything! Damn it I loved you!" She sobbed.

I pulled her to my chest. "Please stop crying Cam! Baby just listen-"

No!" She sobbed, pushing away from me. "You lied to me! I asked you the first day I met you, if you had a girl, and you said no! Really Rashad? After everythings happened to us...how could you do this to me?!" She hollered.

"Carmen please don't do this! I haven't been this happy in my life until I've gotten with you! Believe me, oh believe me on THAT. Carmen I...I'm not good for you."' I said slowly.

She smirked. "You're not good for me? What the hell Rashad?! You're not a fxcking vampire or werewolf, so stop making things so damn difficult!"

"Im not! You don't understand Carmen I-"

"Save it. Whatever we had going on is done. My father was right...I am an easy catch." She hissed coldly.

And then she began to walk away again, leaving my heart cold and lifeless.

This is it Rashad! This moment tells of who your going to choose! Shonnie or Carmen?

Shonnie: Ive been with her my whole life, pretty much. She was there when EVERYTHING happened to me. When I was shot, house burned down, sister was...I don't even want to speak of that. She ran away with me once...she's my rock.

Carmen: Only known her for 2 months. Pops HATES me. At the sound of her name I was in...love. I can't stand to see her angry. I don't want to lose her. But...

"Carmen I love you." I said aloud.

The whole crowd gasped, in appreciation.

Carmen stopped walking and turned around, with hope in her eyes. "What did you say?" She asked.

I swallowed. Oh my god...what am I doing?!

"Boy you tell that girl you love her!" An elderly woman, yelled out sitting next to an eldery man.

I nodded my head at her, & then looked back at Carmen.

"I love you." I said, louder.

A big ass smile came on her face, and then she ran into my arms.

The whole crowd started clapping, and hooting with smiles on their faces too.

"Carmen, I love you so much." I whispered in her ear.

She gave me a peck on my lips. "I love you too."

I set her back down on her feet, and we walked back to the car, holding hands. But I knew this wasn't the end of anything...I had to tell her. Everything. The reason why I wouldn't tell her, that I loved her. And the reason of why...we can't be together.

$-$-$-$-$-

We were on a rocky cliff by the beach, but it was a beautiful sight. I sat down, and Carmen sat in my lap, and we were both sitting on top of a blanket.

"What are we doing here Rashad?" She asked.

"I gotta tell you everything Carmen...the real reason of why I'm here." I mumbled.

She looked more alert then.

"The reason why I didn't tell you about Shonnie is because...well, it all started when I was 7 years old and..."

$-Rashad's Story-$

Let's rewind 10 years back, to the night where Rashad and his sister Raven were asleep in their beds, until Rashad awoke to a noise coming in the family room. For those who don't remember, I suggest you go back to Chapter 5, and read the part where Rashad was in the shower. I'm going to continue off, where his memory ended.

"No Lamont! You can't take my daughter! She's mine, and has nothing to do with your money! I-I-I can pay you back somehow, but please!" My mother begged, outside of my door.

What is she talking about?!

"No Phatty! You had your chance and you blew it! And on top of that you stole my money?! Bi+ch it's either you let me have your daughter, or I'll kill you and your kids right now!" He roared.

My blood ran cold.

"Raven! Wake up!" I snapped, hopping out of my bed, and running over to her.

As soon as I made it to her bed, the door busted open and the man rushed into the room.

My mother stood there sobbing as the man rushed over, and pushed me to the floor.

"No! Leave my sister alone!" I cried.

Raven started screaming and kicking, and the man easily over powered her, and slung her over his shoulder.

I felt like my life was being taken away from me.

"No! Don't take her! Give me back my sister!" I cried, hitting his back, and following him out the room.

"Rashad! Rashad!" Raven cried, reaching after me.

The man turned around and pushed me to the floor, and my mother grabbed me and held me to her chest, sobbing.

"No! Let me go! He's taking Raven!" I cried, with tears rolling down her face.

"Mom! Rashad! Mom! Mom!" Raven hollered.

She kept yelling until it totally stopped when we heard the front door close.

I buried my face into my moms neck, and she wrapped her arms me, and we cried together.

"Im so sorry Rashad! We'll get her back...we'll get her back, I promise." She cried.

The anger and hatred bubbled in my chest, and I ripped away from her.

"ALL BECAUSE OF YOU SHES GONE! They took my sister!" I hollered.

At that time Shonnie lived right next door, so that's exactly where I was headed too. That's when they're parents liked me.

"Rashad please come back! You're all I've got!" She sobbed.

I stomped out of the room, and ran to Shonnie's house. I didn't know what time it was but I really hope they let me come in.

I can't go back to that place knowing the fact that my sister is gone, & my mom didn't do a thing to stop it!

I banged on the door, and I was crying so hard...no questions were asked. Shonnie's parents catered to me, and when they finally calmed me down, I told them what happened.

"Are you going to get my sister back? Can't we call the police?!" I shrieked.

Shonnie and her sister was in the room, and even as kids she was still remarkably beautiful.

Shonnie's mother, Naomi slowly shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "We can't call the police, but we'll definitely do something about this tomorrow okay? Try to get some sleep." She said, in a soothing voice.

I nodded and lied down, sleep overcoming my traumatized body.

$-The Next Day-$

I woke up and Shonnie was standing in front of me, just staring at me. At 7 years old I didn't think that was weird, so it didn't matter. She gave me a hug, & then I got up and walked out the house, just like that.

Maybe last night didn't happen! It was just had a terrible nightmare...

But when I walked into the house, and I saw my mom riding some dude on the couch...I knew then, that last night was anything but a dream. It was reality. This is how my life is going to be...living with a fxcked up mother who ruins everything for me. I ran into my room, and slammed the door behind me. I went and lied down on Raven's bed...and her scent was still there. I loved Raven with everything, and now she's gone. I'm never going to see her again.

$-5 Years Later-$

I'm 12 years old, and now that I'm older I understood compleely everything that happened that night, where I lost my sister. Sometimes Doe Boi & Myron, and I...would set off to go look for her. But we were only 12 years old, what we were gonna do?

Shonnie's parents moved after their house got shot up, because Shonnie's father Will, kept pesting around for Raven. So they left.

It seemed like everyone knew where Raven was, except for me.

And that's where I developed a tiny hatred for kids...cuz that's when my life was the worst. Now, I sell drugs with my boys and we work for this dude named Charger. At that time he was one of the most feared drug lords of all time, and my boys and I, were his youngest workers. One time, we fxcked up and we barely made it out with our lives. In since we were kids and we did sell his shi+ pretty good, he beat us to a pulse and then dumped our bodies, bloody and broken, on a corner late at night.

Well, that corner was a hot spot for prostitutes, hoes, sluts, and pimps. & that's where I met Slade. I guess he knew who I was because of my mom, but anyway...he took us straight back to my crib and fixed us up.

My mom was nowhere to be seen and I was thankful for that. Ever since that day...Slade has never left our side.

$-$-$-$-$-$-$

I zoned out of my past, and when I looked back down at Carmen, she wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling my face into hers.

"Oh my god Rashad...I'm so sorry."

She breathed, with tears in her eyes.

I blinked back the tears, and held her tighter.

She pulled away & looked at me. "So, why are you here?"

I sighed. "There's a big drug ruler named Christian, back where I live. He's in fact...Tommy's dad."

Her eyes widened. "What?! What could my mother possibly have been doing with him?!" She exclaimed.

I shrugged. "Shi+ I don't know...he gets around."

She shook her head. "Continue anyway."

I nodded. "Well, my mother fxcked up again...and she's the reason of why I'm here today. She fxcked Christian and all his people, and on top of that...stole so much money from him...it's impossible to pay him back. So, he sent a death warrant on me, saying if she didn't have the money, he was going to come after me..."

She sighed. "Thats some bull shixt! So what are you going to do when you go back home Rashad? What if he finds you?!" She asked, worried.

"Calm down babe...I got you. & he won't because Slade got a hideout for me, I'm going to be okay." I smiled.

"Good. But...when will we see eachother again? Rashad...I can't live without you." She mumbled.

I leaned my head against hers. "I don't know Carmen...I can't run from Christian forever."

She tightened her hold around me. "I love you Rashad."

"I love you too."