Too Much

Allie

I had managed to make it back home safely just after the party had finished, I walked back with Maddie, Cassie and Sierra who could barely place one foot in front of the other, however nonetheless managing to keep up pace with us all.

Once inside the confides of my house, I noticed it empty, except for me and Maddie of course. Our parents were nowhere to be seen, the silence surrounding the house was horribly noticeable. I hated silence.

Sitting down on the sofa, Maddie went upstairs to get changed out of last night’s clothes; I looked down upon my own clothes which in reality were Alex’s. However my thoughts were too caught up in what the girls were all talking about on the way back here.

I had to start being honest with myself and start to realise that I couldn’t stop holding my feelings and urges back from Alex any longer, I was hurt from Rob but Alex was nothing like him and he was the only one I wanted to give myself too.

Petrified didn’t even begin to describe how I felt right now, but it was pretty damn the closest I was going to get to explain all the mix of emotions swirling around in my head.

Rushing over to fresh pile of laundry my mum had ironed in the corner of the living room, I ran over grabbing the first outfit I could, changing and applying my make-up again quickly.

“Maddie I’m going out!”

Rushing out of the door I didn’t even give Maddie the chance to reply, I was too eager to see the boy I loved. I needed to see him.

In the next few short minutes it took me to run down the road to Alex’s, to have the chance to back out of what my mind was focused on, it didn’t. Instead I stood right outside his front door, his parents were still gone as the car was nowhere to be seen except Alex’s.

My chest rose and fell heavily as I tried to grasp to whatever oxygen my body could get at this moment in time, I was going to do this and nothing, not even my mind apparently was going to stop me.

However just as I was about to knock on the door he beat me to it, phone to his ear. He noticed me standing there, because if he hadn’t I would have been flat on my ass on the floor otherwise. Alex ended the call quickly and whoever was on the end of the line disappeared instantly from his thoughts.

“Hey Allie I was just going to pop down to the store to stock up on some food, fancy a ride?”

The smirk on his lips had me at his mercy almost immediately, I could never refuse this boy anything and that in the past, would normally be something that scared the hell out of me…but with Alex it didn’t. Simply nodding in response to his question, he laced his fingers with mine affectionately, pressed a quick kiss to my forehead before we raced over to his car.

All the way down to the store we stayed in a comfortable silence, well except for Blink 182 played out of the stereo, Alex and I however said nothing to each other. We didn’t need to we enjoyed just being around one another, but something about this unnerved me greatly.

Alex constantly kept drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, now he could have just been doing it along to Blink. Alex only drumming his fingers for two reason, 1; Music, 2; Nervousness.

We got to the store quickly, we could have walked it to be honest but Alex was usually lazy when it came to this sort of stuff, plus he always over bought and ended up with fuck loads of stuff he didn’t really need.

His hand found its way to mine easily as we linked our fingers yet again, we walked around and he aimlessly placed products into the shopping basket occupied in his other hand. Then he did it, he began drumming his fingers against my hand, that was all I needed to know…he wasn’t drumming his fingers along to Blink at all.

However I never brought it up, I didn’t want to cause anything that may not be needed to in the first place. Alex paid for the shopping and we loaded it into the back of his boot before setting off back to his I assumed.

We were halfway back down the road to Alex’s when I notice his attention shift from the road in front of him, to his back mirror. He sighed inwardly before indicating to pull up on the side of the road, it was only then did I notice the blue flashing lights behind us and the police officer stepping out of the police car. Shit.

“Can you please step out of the car Sir?”

Alex looked at me apologetically before stepping out of the car and obeying the orders, then it clicked in my mind we had all been drinking last night if they check him he will be fucked. As if the policeman read my mind he pulled out a breathalyser and asked Alex to take a huge breath in then blow out.

To cut the story short, Alex obviously registered over the limit. He tried to explain how he thought the alcohol would be out of his system by now and that his driving wasn’t even reckless. However the policeman was having none of it and slapped some handcuffs on him, asked me to step out of the car and we were both escorted down to the nearest police station.

“Excuse me Sir but what will happen to him?”

“Well Miss he will be remanded in custody until he goes to court, he will probably be given a warning from the judge and a few points deducted from his licence or possibly a fine, why?”

Sighing I looked over from the policeman to my boyfriend anxiously pulling his hair out in the cell behind. Looking back up to the policeman I knew what I had to do.

“How long will he remain in custody?”

“The wait is about a week or two, unless his parents or someone come and pay his bail”

His parents, at the mention of his parents Alex’s head looked up in shock and fear, in all honestly I thought he was about to cry.

“How much is the bail?”

“Not enough for you to be able to afford little Miss”

“How much?”

I demanded in a low whisper I didn’t want Alex to hear what I was about to do, he would kill me if he found out. The policeman looked taken aback but replied to me anyway

“It’s $700”

“Do you take card?”

The policeman eyed me sceptically before nodding his head and walking me across the other side of the station, to pay up Alex’s bail. When I was over with the Policeman and away from Alex I asked if there was a way he could avoid Court and possibly jail. He said he would have to talk to the judge and see what he could do.

After a quick phone call through to the courts, the policeman returned with a smile on his face I thought. He explained to me that if Alex is willing to accept a fine, points and a warning on his criminal record, he could skip going to court.

“Alex Gaskarth? You’re free to go”

“Huh?”

“You are being let of on a warning okay? I spoke to the Judge and he said so long as you pay a $50 fine and accept 2 points on your licence, you don’t have to go to court”

“That’s fine, how long do I have to pay the fine?”

“A week”

With that the cell was unlocked and Alex was handed back his possessions, we walked from the station decided that was the best option at this present moment.

“Wow must be my lucky day, how I managed to get away with that I have no idea”

“Yup lucky”

I murmured to myself quietly, if only he knew. My entire university fund was no empty

We got to Alex’s and sat down on his floor, our backs against his sofa as he got his duvet from upstairs, instantly we wrapped ourselves up in the duvet and the movie on the tv channel began to start.

I watched aimlessly as the couple on the tv fell in love, argued, made love, got married and lived happily ever after with their children. That made my emerald eyes glance over to the boy sitting next to me, his chestnut bangs in disarray as he concealed it all under a grey beanie.

My mind was racing over 100 different thoughts all at once and I was starting to develop a severe headache. What happened if I did let things go further with me and Alex? Surely he would just get bored after a while with me, he will want more adventure from his girlfriend in the bedroom department, he will do what every other boy does he will get bored and move on, right?

Doubts starting to cloud my judgement, I was beginning to think maybe I should just make up some shitty lame excuse and bail out right now, before I could get hurt. Maybe it would have been better if me and Alex had never have met, but I couldn’t change that fact. Me and Maddie were placed in that class with all the guys for a reason, however as of right now I was struggling very hard to find out what that so called reason might be.

Shaking my head swiftly I attempted to knock all the negative things swimming around, out. This was Alex we were talking about here, even if I did had reservations they weren’t for long. I loved him, I trusted him and most importantly he was my best friend above everything. He would always be there for me, no matter what. No matter what I thought at the end of the day it didn’t stop me loving him. That was when I knew what I had to do.

“Alex?”

“Hm?”

He replied, too engrossed in what was happening on the television so I straddled him the covers still covering us in warmth, taking his face in my hands I placed a simple kiss to his lips that still had some remnants of alcohol on them from last night.

“I’m ready”

Those were the only two words for the both of us to fully understand what I was talking about, he smiled warmly towards me before grabbing my hand in his, scooping the duvet up with his free hand and leading us upstairs to his bedroom.

When we entered his room he dropped the duvet immediately, picking me up and backing us up against his bedroom wall. His lips connected with my neck where he began nipping and sucking and my reaction was to moan and arch my back, all of this just heated us up even quicker.

Eventually we made it to his bed where he placed me on my back, my black bangs stuck out in all sorts of directions as the atmosphere heated up around us, quickly articles were shed on both parts and both of us were just left in the underwear.

“Are you sure Allie?”

“Little late for me to change to mind really Alex!”

I joked to him as I pointed at our practically naked bodies, we both laughed and I ushered him back closer with my index finger. Alex obeyed and before I could even notice our underwear had disappeared completely, joining the rest of our clothes down on the floor.

Alex’s lips came crashing to mine with urgency, he teased with his tongue and before I could even register we became lost in one another. We were all over each other and I loved it. Feeling his hard member against me heat raged through my veins, scratching his back I was desperate for this closeness. I wanted him now.

“Now Alex”

He didn’t even respond but I felt him enter me gently, at first. The pain that surged from my lower abdomen was horrific, I had to bite my lip to stop myself from crying, this was not what I had expected. However after the first few thrusts were done with I got used to it, Alex must have noticed too his eyes never leaving mine, once he knew I wasn’t in as much pain he started to go faster and deeper.

We kept going for what seemed like ages, exploring one another’s bodies and finding each other’s weak spots. When the odd feeling began to stir up in my stomach I knew I was close. Pulling Alex’s body close to me I could hear him grunt and moan.

“Allie if you keep doing that I’m going to go”

“Well then go”

Alex did just that, the feeling in my stomach escalated quickly as did Alex and that was when I felt him go just as I did, he collapsed on top of me, his fingers running through my sweaty black hair before he raised up to look me in the eyes, almost searching for something.

“I love you Allie, always remember that”

“I will Alex, promise me you’ll remember the same for you”

“I promise”

He placed on last kiss to my forehead before I cuddled into his side as he pulled the duvet over us, this was definitely worth waiting for. Alex was worth waiting for.

The next day I woke up with a smile on my face for the first time in forever, I stretched my arms and reached over to Alex, which was when my emerald orbs sprung open wide. He was gone.

Rushing down the stairs I ran through every single room and opened every single door, nothing. Pulling down the hem of his t-shirt I felt very self-conscious, I didn’t know if his parents were around the house somewhere or not. Peeking through the window I noticed his car still parked on the driveway, offering me a slight piece of reassurance he was still around somewhere.

Running back up to his room I decided to wait to see if he would turn up, maybe he had walked down to the shops or something. Quickly I disregarded his t-shirt and pulled my jeans back on, I folded up his t-shirt and went to put it back in his wardrobe, which was when my heart nearly broke into millions of pieces. All of his clothes were gone.

Was this some sick prank him and the guys were playing on me? Maybe Maddie had a part in all of it, I turned on my bare footed heel and that was when I noticed the folded piece of paper on his nightstand, his handwriting baring my name clearly to be seen. Shakily I made my way over towards it, I opened it.

To Allie,
I know you have to be already mad with me or are about to be really mad at me, don’t ok don’t get mad. Yesterday when you came over and I was on the phone I was on the phone to Jack, we won Rival Schools. You were just there and I didn’t want to tell you just then, I was planning on telling you later but then you know, us, happened. I couldn’t Allie, I didn’t want to ruin our moment. We left this morning for tour I’m going to be gone for six months, I love you Allie. Please don’t think I’ve left you or thought last night was nothing, because I don’t. Please be there for me when I get back, I’ll call you later. I love you with all my heart, Alex.

I never answered his call later on that night. I was beginning to think all of this was a big game to him. I realised we never used a condom. I vowed never to speak to Alex Gaskarth ever again.