My Sanity in This Insane World

"Would you rather, no longer be able to have a phone, or have your hand cut off?" Sam asked, our hands laced as we walked down the street.

"That's a tough choice." I twisted my mouth to the side, swinging our hands between us. I already knew Sam found this annoying, but I was so used to it. Oliver did it with me. I just never am able to hold a person's hand, and not swing it.

"Not really. I'd choose the phone," he said, as he opened the door to my flat building.

"Yeah, but then I couldn't really call Oliver when he's on tour."

"Hm," Sam grunted. I knew he didn't take a liking to Oliver. I wasn't sure why though. I thought they would have gotten along great.

"I would do my hand. People survive without hands all the time."

He laughed, as we got to my door at the end of the hall. I unlocked it, calling out a hi to Oliver, and saying that Sam was here.

"Does he just bum off of you?" Sam asked.

I shrugged. "No, not really. He buys food for us." I put the kettle on, making Sam and me some tea

"He should help with rent. I would."

I hadn't even known Sam long enough, but he was always talking about moving in with Oliver and me. He nearly went ape when I said we still sleep in the same bed most nights. I didn't know what was so wrong with it. It's not like we shacked up every night.

"We just sort of agreed. And he doesn't stay here every night, just - "

"Most night, Lennox," Sam said seriously, as I gave him a cup, and I sipped on my own cup.

"So he pretty much moved in with me. I don't see what's so wrong with it, Sam." Sure, we had made us official. But it wasn't something he could get mad at me for.

"The problem is I have to deal with this kid, and him sleeping in the same bed with you! I don't know him. For all I know, he touches you when you go to sleep! What if I wanted to sleep with you one night?" He did that weird thing, where you sound like you're whispering, but you can tell they want to yell.

"Sam!" I yelled.

"Shush. I'm just worried about you, babe." He check his phone. "But, it's getting late. I should be getting home." He walked over to me, hugged me, and gave me a quick kiss.

"Call me tonight?" I asked, looking up at him. My fingers rubbed little circles on his back.

"Will do." He kissed me again, and then left.

I smiled, cleaning up his cup, placing it in the washer.

"Puke."

I looked over at Oliver, winking at him. "You're just mad that it's not you."

"Oh please." He walked over, before picking me up, and placing me on the counter.

"Oliver!" I giggles, as he stared down at me.

"Oh, Noxy socks, you know I can do what he does, and make it a billion times better."

"Oh, I know," I said, rapping my hands around his neck, lacing my fingers together.

"I'm glad you came to your senses," he said with a slight laugh, before backing away from me, and leaning on the counter besides me.

"What did you can for dinner?" I asked.

"Just some veggie soup. You?"

"Sam took me to this Chinese place."

"Any good?"

"God no. The boy is cute, but he cannot for the life of him find a good place to eat." Oliver laughed and I smiled at him.

"So that's what he's lacking? Food sense. Damn, I was hoping it was a little more something under his pants."

"Oliver!" I yelled again, smacking his arms a few times.

"Nox! Nox! I was fucking joking," he said, shying away from me. "Jeez, take a joke." I laughed. "But seriously, is he?"

"Get out," I said, picking up the hand towel next to me, and hit him with it.

I hopped off the counter, and when he was far away enough, he said, "Noxy and Sammy, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-"

"Oliver! Get out!" I yelled, running after him with my towel.

&&

Oliver and I sat outside that night on the back porch. His cigarette smoke filled my lungs, every so often passing it to me, where I would take a little drag. I wasn't hooked, but every once in a while wouldn't hurt.

"Heidi's been asking about you lately," I said, before taking a drag.

"I should come with you next time," he said. Oliver was laying down, eyes closed. I didn't know how he did it. He wasn't wearing his shirt, and his sweatpants couldn't hold off the Sheffield air. He places the ciggy to his lips, took a smoke, and breathed it out in one long stream. I sat next to him, in a tight ball, and his jacket wrapped around me.

"You should," I said, pushing back the small white thing to him. "My next time with her is Tuesday. Come?"

He sighed, before opening his eyes, and stared at me.

His eyes were the prettiest brown I think I've ever seen. They were like were like a puppy's. His tattoos looked amazing under the moon light. I knew I didn't like Sam as much as I did Oliver, but I couldn't help it. I've liked him since I was a kid. I couldn't just stop liking him, even with a boyfriend.

"Fine," he grumbled, turning his head again, and taking another drag. He flung the cigarette, and got himself up. He held his hand out for me, helping me up, and held the door open for me.

"Night, Oliver," I said, as we got situated in bed.

"Night, Noxy," he said, turning over and placing his arm around me.

And it didn't move from there all night.