Don't Judge the Weasley Twins as One
Dirty Mind
"So let me get this straight, Harry nearly got expelled? How did he manage to return to school? I mean, the ministry are fierce when it comes to matters of magic in front of muggles." Christina sat in the Hogwarts Express with the twins who were filling her in with every detail of their holidays.
"Dumbledore saved him. He showed up and did all kinds of things."
"Oh, can you be specific because 'all kinds of things' sounds wrong, perverted really."
"Christina what a dirty mind you have congratulations Fred." George nudged his brother.
"But in all seriousness, do you believe Harry?"
The twins looked at each other, slightly horrified. "Of course we believe him; he paid us to believe him." Fred replied.
"How did he pay you?"
"Well you know when he won the Tri-Wizard tournament?"
"Yeah and proclaimed he-that should-not-be-named was back?"
"Christina must you always bring that up? Anyways, he won Galleons and he gave them to us, so now we can practically start up a shop."
"Well that confirms it then, Harry Potter is mad, we can't trust anything he says. Who'd give money to you two?"
"You did!" Both twins replied at the same time grinning.
"I didn't give you money, I just bought you stuff."
"But what was that stuff? Fireworks if I'm not mistaken and other pranking materials. Admit it; you love us playing practical jokes."
"I'm not denying that they're fun to watch, however when you are used as a test experiment then it is not fun."
"Well stay out our way when we're in a pranking mood. So anyways, what did you do in the holidays when you weren't sending Howlers to Fred?"
"I was travelling."
"Travelling?"
"Travelling"
"I think we've gathered she was travelling Fred."
"But she hasn't expanded on that piece of information. Like whom she was travelling with."
"True. Neither did she mention the location of her travels."
"Do you think she's hiding something from us?" Both boys turned to each other.
"Maybe she has a secret lover or husband on the other side of the world."
"She bloody better not."
"Hello boys I'm actually here can hear it all. I don't have a secret lover."
"What about a husband?"
I turned to him and winked "Don't go there mate, too many to mention."
"I knew it. You looked like the sort of girl to have 12 Husbands, Fred get out of it whilst you still can."
"Oh God."
"What?"
"There it is, Hogwarts, kind of beautiful isn't it? Intimidating but beautiful. Funny to think we spend most of our year here isn't it? It's like...well a second home."
"Don't worry Christina, when we finally leave Hogwarts I'm sure Fred will shack up with you and you won't feel so abandoned." George grinned at me.
"What on earth are you on about?"
"You. You think of school as your second home. That's pathetic, so when you leave I'm sure Fred will make you feel wanted."
"Did I ever mention I had the tendency to throw things?" I threw a chocolate frog at George who pulled a face in mock pain.
"So painful Christina. I mean if you insist on threatening us at least use good threats." Just as he finished the door flew open with a great force. There in the doorway stood Draco Malfoy.
"Oh look boys it's my lover." He glared at me.
"I'm looking for any prefects weasels, seen them?"
"What you are a prefect? Oh so money really can buy anything. Tell me, is Daddykins still married? I mean if he can buy his son into the Quidditch team and get him in with the prefects just think what he could do for a girl’s social position." I grinned, I hated to admit it but the boy was good looking. I spent a few moments pondering who he looked most like.
"My father would not ever associate himself with halves like you; neither would he associate him with blood traitors."
"Well whatever, we're going to rule the world one day. Yeah you heard and you can lord what’s-his-name that I said that, have his little men come after me or something. But please, I'm asking you to leave because it's going to get pretty steamy in here."
A slightly stunned Malfoy looked at me, glared at me and then turned and shut the door. Both twins also turned to look at me.
"It's going to get steamy?"
"I said what I had to; it got rid of him didn't it?"
"You have a dirty mind, even by our standards."
"Oh look here we are." I blushed slightly and turned to the window.
"Dumbledore saved him. He showed up and did all kinds of things."
"Oh, can you be specific because 'all kinds of things' sounds wrong, perverted really."
"Christina what a dirty mind you have congratulations Fred." George nudged his brother.
"But in all seriousness, do you believe Harry?"
The twins looked at each other, slightly horrified. "Of course we believe him; he paid us to believe him." Fred replied.
"How did he pay you?"
"Well you know when he won the Tri-Wizard tournament?"
"Yeah and proclaimed he-that should-not-be-named was back?"
"Christina must you always bring that up? Anyways, he won Galleons and he gave them to us, so now we can practically start up a shop."
"Well that confirms it then, Harry Potter is mad, we can't trust anything he says. Who'd give money to you two?"
"You did!" Both twins replied at the same time grinning.
"I didn't give you money, I just bought you stuff."
"But what was that stuff? Fireworks if I'm not mistaken and other pranking materials. Admit it; you love us playing practical jokes."
"I'm not denying that they're fun to watch, however when you are used as a test experiment then it is not fun."
"Well stay out our way when we're in a pranking mood. So anyways, what did you do in the holidays when you weren't sending Howlers to Fred?"
"I was travelling."
"Travelling?"
"Travelling"
"I think we've gathered she was travelling Fred."
"But she hasn't expanded on that piece of information. Like whom she was travelling with."
"True. Neither did she mention the location of her travels."
"Do you think she's hiding something from us?" Both boys turned to each other.
"Maybe she has a secret lover or husband on the other side of the world."
"She bloody better not."
"Hello boys I'm actually here can hear it all. I don't have a secret lover."
"What about a husband?"
I turned to him and winked "Don't go there mate, too many to mention."
"I knew it. You looked like the sort of girl to have 12 Husbands, Fred get out of it whilst you still can."
"Oh God."
"What?"
"There it is, Hogwarts, kind of beautiful isn't it? Intimidating but beautiful. Funny to think we spend most of our year here isn't it? It's like...well a second home."
"Don't worry Christina, when we finally leave Hogwarts I'm sure Fred will shack up with you and you won't feel so abandoned." George grinned at me.
"What on earth are you on about?"
"You. You think of school as your second home. That's pathetic, so when you leave I'm sure Fred will make you feel wanted."
"Did I ever mention I had the tendency to throw things?" I threw a chocolate frog at George who pulled a face in mock pain.
"So painful Christina. I mean if you insist on threatening us at least use good threats." Just as he finished the door flew open with a great force. There in the doorway stood Draco Malfoy.
"Oh look boys it's my lover." He glared at me.
"I'm looking for any prefects weasels, seen them?"
"What you are a prefect? Oh so money really can buy anything. Tell me, is Daddykins still married? I mean if he can buy his son into the Quidditch team and get him in with the prefects just think what he could do for a girl’s social position." I grinned, I hated to admit it but the boy was good looking. I spent a few moments pondering who he looked most like.
"My father would not ever associate himself with halves like you; neither would he associate him with blood traitors."
"Well whatever, we're going to rule the world one day. Yeah you heard and you can lord what’s-his-name that I said that, have his little men come after me or something. But please, I'm asking you to leave because it's going to get pretty steamy in here."
A slightly stunned Malfoy looked at me, glared at me and then turned and shut the door. Both twins also turned to look at me.
"It's going to get steamy?"
"I said what I had to; it got rid of him didn't it?"
"You have a dirty mind, even by our standards."
"Oh look here we are." I blushed slightly and turned to the window.
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Please comment. It actually took me a few months to write this, but after posting the last chapter on here I just decided to finish part 27. Hope you enjoyed it.