Your Lips Are a Hot Flame, Baby And Our Chemistry Is Kerosene

I am [blunt] honest. I can be [conniving] smart with some things. I [talk shit] say the truth, [and I’m a backstabber] to everyone. I am [a bitch] careless.

No, I’m not perfect. At the same time, No, I don’t have any flaws.

Make sense? I don’t care.

I mostly don’t care because, high school is officially over, and I wont have to deal with high school [bullshit] drama, ever again.

"Noel, " Mr. Godley approached me before the Graduation Ceremony, holding Vincent, the valedictorian (who looked like he was about to puke), by the arm, "I need to speak to you."

"Sure, what’s the dealio? " I shrugged.

"As you can tell, Vincent, " he said letting go of Vincent’s arm, "can’t do the speech today, he’s a very, " he sighed as Vincent ran towards a trash can, "very nervous guy, so we need you to do the speech. "

I sighed, "you’re joking right? "

He looked over at Vincent, and looked back at me, "I wish I was, look, just make it quick-"

"No, you’re joking, the ceremony starts in half an hour! "

"You’re salutatorian! People like you! People know you! We have no other choice, " he sighed, "just don’t say anything rude, I know you have your way with words, but I know you have a better way with rude ones, just stay calm. "

"This school is a joke, " I told him and laughed airily, "I’ll do it. "

"Good, just promise me you wont say anything bad," he knows me all too well.

"Relax Godley, it’s just a speech," I winked at him and walked away.

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Boring speech from the principal. Boring speech from the vice-principal. Boring speech from the class sponsor. Boring speech from the class president. Boring speech from the class vice-president. Seriously, I didn’t know how boring people were in Dulaney High.

"Now, your Salutatorian, Noel Grace has a few words she’d like to share with you, please give it up for her," Mr. Godley announced, and people clapped.

I got up from my seat and walked towards the podium, "Class of 2006," I sighed and looked around, they were all seated picking their boogers or minding their own business, not interested in a word I was about to say; some of them even looked like they could die any second. Fuck it. I grabbed the microphone from it’s stand and began pacing around the stage. I glanced over at Godley and he was holding a conversation with the vice-principal. Perfect.

"Class of 2006!" I repeated, this time with more enthusiasm, "I would say it’s been a long way, but it hasn’t been that much of a long way, it’s been annoying, but not such a long way," I began seeing some faces turn to me, "I mean, I’m glad I’m getting out of here, it’s always the same thing, the same high school shi-drama" right about now I had everyone’s head turned my way, even Godley’s, "I mean, we’ve all heard all of those rumors, but we wont have to worry anymore, you know, " I laughed a little, "we will have better lives, better than to care about other peoples!" I got strange glances from everyone in the room, this was bound to be one for the books, "for example, we wont have to worry about Vincent puking before every speech he has to give, therefore it gets handed to me and this happens! And we wont have to think of how Tommy Clovesalways farts in Anatomy and Physiology class, yes everyone, that’s the stink that never leaves Ms. McCarthy’s classroom," I heard an echoing ‘ew’ across the auditorium, "and let’s not begin with how fat Tiffany Wishton looks now, I mean seriously hun, those extra five pounds show" then some laughter and some gasps were thrown in.

"What about how Cindy Lihard has always had a crush on Mr. Dias, but I’m not going to say more on the subject, we don’t want anyone ending up in jail do we? Either way, there’s always those kid’s like Alex Gaskarth, who’s "fallen in love" ten times this year, " I said making quotation marks with my fingers, "and swears he’s going to marry each and every one of them, and he writes a song about it, then gets dumped, and writes a song about that too," even more laughter exploded in the auditorium, I glanced over to Mr. Godley, and noticed he was shooting death glares at me, I shrugged them off and continued, "I mean seriously Gaskarth, no one gets married at this age, only kids like Eva and Mark, and that’s because they’ve been together for four years, oh, and because Eva is pregnant too" I giggled as I heard talk amongst each other, "but that doesn’t matter guys! Even though she did promise to stay a virgin ‘til marriage, whatever, " I shrugged, "you know, it’s going to be so easy not to miss Ms. Wallace’s annoying voice every morning on the loudspeaker every morning, or to see Jackie Sanderson be a douche to every boy, just because she cant get any; or even worse, girls like Maria Campos who hates all girls because they get boyfriends, and she can only get friends who are boys. Yeah, the friend zone sucks Maria, too bad I’ve never been there," I found her in the crowd and smiled at her, if looks could kill, I would’ve died in an instant, once again I glanced at Godley, this time he was mouthing me to ‘get out’, fine.

"Well, we all love Mr. Godley over there don’t we! " I said pointing at him, "but he’s trying to kick me out right now, so let me make this quicker Godley! " I waved at him, "guys, I’m proud of us, some of us proved that we’re going to be someone in life, some of you proved that you’re not stupid," I said, making a point, "and those of you, sitting all the way in the back, those of you surpassed your own expectations and actually did pass high school! I’m sure that’s your greatest accomplishment so far guys! Yay!" I said sarcastically, and laughed airily, "well, enough of this stupid shit, whoops I mean, crap, sorry Godley!" I glanced over at him, he looked like he was about to cry, "Its safe to say that I liked you guys," I looked over them and realized I was lying, "no, it’s safe to say that I like a few of you guys, so yeah, congrats on making it through the most shit-filled time of your life," I smiled, and began to walk off, but realized I wasn’t being fully honest, so my self-concience forced me back to the podium.

I took the microphone again before Godley had a chance to get up, "it’s not fair, " I said, "that you guys get to spill your guts and I didn’t, so let me say some thing about myself, Tony, where’s Tony? " I said skimming through the crowd, and one boy was pointing down to some guy that was trying to hide, "I can see you, anyways, you’re bound to hear this, you didn’t get dumped because you needed something better, no, you got dumped because Richard Edwards is better in bed, go figure that one out," I smiled as I heard gasps throughout the auditorium, "which kind of reminds me of Emily Falcon and Bobby Green, figure that one out too," I laughed again and walked back to my seat, which luckily was positioned one seat away from Mr. Godley, since I’m salutatorian and all, the person that stood between us was poor Vincent.

"You’re so lucky it’s too late to change your position as salutatorian now, or else your ass would be out of the school," he said quietly and daringly as I passed by him.

"Chill Godley, you wont have to see my beautiful face again after this," I shrugged and smiled, and walked straight to my seat.

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The emotional part was over, and now there were kids crying all over campus because they’re going to miss teachers, or friends, or whatever they’re going to miss. I know I’m not.

"I’m amazed you still got your salutatorian trophy after that speech," my sister, Elena (or Elle for short), told me.

"I’m not, I own this school, "I said proudly.

"Obviously," she smiled, "you don’t seem hurt that mom and dad couldn’t come. "

"They’re at a business trip, I’d rather have food in my plate than my parents at my graduation ceremony," I reassured her.

"Well, let’s go then," she said taking her car keys out of her pocket. But soon enough a group of girls, including Tiffany Wishton, came over to me.

"Oh my God, that was like, the best speech ever," Kate blurted out.

"Like yeah, I know you were totally kidding about my five pounds!" Tiffany giggled, and the other girls followed.

I giggled, but said, "Hah, yeah, not so much," and smiled. Once again, if looks could kill.

"Whatever! " Kate said again, "let’s take pictures!" and so we did. I own this school

Those girls left. And a new group of people came. And so they left, and a new group came. And so it happened for the next forty minutes.

"Okay, let’s leave, like, now," I told my sister and laughed.

"Seriously, I don’t know why these people like you, you’re a bitch," she laughed and patted my head.

"I am not, I’m super sweet, I’m just honest."

"Hey, Noel," someone said quietly and tapped my shoulder.

"What now," I said as I turned to face Alex Gaskarth.

"I haven’t fallen in love with every girl" he stared me down.

"Well next time I’ll ask you before making a speech about you, since-"

"Anyways, what do you know about falling in love? After all, you cared less about humiliating Tony by telling everyone how you were fucking some other guy while you were with him.”

"That’s not your business," I gave him a daring look.

He laughed and said, "You think it’s so great to call upon everyone’s shit and be blunt about it, but when someone comes to you and does the same to you, you tell them to fuck off."

I stood still. There’s always a first time for everything, but I never saw this one coming.

"Yeah, it didn’t hurt as much when you said it to yourself, right? The cheating thing?" he shrugged and smiled, "well, hope things get better for you," then he walked away.