Your Lips Are a Hot Flame, Baby And Our Chemistry Is Kerosene

Alex’s P.O.V.

Home Sweet Home

I stood in front of my front door debating with myself whether or not to knock, when finally my answer stood before me.

"Baby, I missed you so much," Lisa said as she opened the door with arms wide open. Great.

"Hey, how’d you get in here? And," I said as I dropped my bags and walked up to her, embracing her in a hug, "I missed you too," I forced the words out of my mouth.

"Why didn’t you call? I really missed your voice," she whined as she helped me take my belongings to the living room.

"Uh," I paused thinking, "you know, tour is a lot of work and we got busy and shit, so time flew by, plus, it was only two weeks."

"I understand babe," she said as she stood in front of me wrapping her arms around my waist, "I just, I really missed you y’know?"

"Yeah, I understand," I said and forced a smirk.

"So, what do you want to do tonight?" she smirked, not letting go, "you can take me out for dinner if you like, or maybe we can get some take-out."

"Aw babe," I grinded my teeth together, "you know I’d really love to spend the day with you," I looked at my watch and parted from her, "but the boys, they asked me to, and you know, I cant ditch them, because you know how they are," I mumbled.

"Oh," she said as I paced to the kitchen, "but you spent this whole time with them!" she threw her arms in the air.

"Well," I said searching through the fridge, "you know how it is, important band matters, we just got back from tour but we still have work to do," I shrugged grabbing a caprisun and poking the straw into the hole.

"Fine," she said as she stood in the living room staring at me, "you know, I thought you would’ve changed, but no, you’re obviously still the same asshole," she said as she walked upstairs and I followed her.

"What do you mean I’m an asshole Lisa?" I shouted at her as she entered my room, not turning back to look at me, "I’m just telling you I cant hang out today," I sighed as she gathered a bunch of candles and romantic shit she’d set up in my room.

"You couldn’t even do it for the sex could you?" she turned back facing me, angry tears strolling out of her eyes, "you can’t pretend to like me, not even for one last fuck."

"I-I," I paused, "I do like you Lisa, you know that," I’m weak.

"Oh, Alex, give me a break," she said dropping everything she had in her hands, "you don’t, you don’t, you’re possibly disgusted by me, and I don’t even know what I ever did to you except show you that I care," she dropped to her knees.

"Lisa, don’t get like this, you know that’s not true," I kneeled down, my hand meeting her face.

"I know that’s not true?" she said looking up at me with hurt on her eyes, "why did you go out with me Alex? Was it out of pity? Is that why you asked me to be your girlfriend? Or, like Noel said, did you want me just for a new song?"

I stood up, irritated, "that girl had no idea what she was saying," I stared at her, "you know I do like you, if you just want to leave me, if, if you’re just looking for excuses, just to ruin our relationship; then go ahead. Dump me."

She stood up gazing at me, "I wouldn’t even call what we had a relationship Alex," she said and walked out.

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There’s something I have to clear out about myself. All the rumors are lies; I don’t live for parties, and alcohol, and sex. I’m just always in search for the right girl, and always get too caught up in situations. I love parties, but the main reason I love them is because it’s a social event; in which an outgoing guy like me always gets to meet a girl. I wouldn’t say I’m cocky, I’d just say I’m confident. But I’m so sick of myself.

You see, I do believe that when people say confidence is the number one turn-on, it’s true. I am confident, over-confident if anything; but that’s never enough. I’m weak. I’m so weak, I cant say no after I’ve said yes. I cant just take my words back. I always try, even if it disgusts me.

Girls, I always end up with the wrong ones. I either end up with the ones that do fall hard and true, or the ones that go for me just for the sake of saying "I dated Alex Gaskarth".

The girls that really fall hard are the ones that hurt me the most. I don’t think anyone would understand, but I get hurt more than I admit. They fall head over heels, like Lisa did, and then one day I decide that they’re not The One. I mean, how do you really know who’s the one? You feel it right? I’ve never felt it. What would I know about love, but nothing.

The shallow ones, the one’s that do it for the sake of the name, those are the ones that I don’t mind so much. I date them because they’re intriguing, they’re not a challenge, but they’re interesting. They don’t last over six weeks.

It’s easy to tell which girl is what type straight from when you meet them, just by the way they say hi or by the way they smile. I’m just starting to lose all hope in ever finding The One; or at least an extensive relationship, one in which I am glad to see her everyday, and I’d do anything to spend a second with her. An impossible one.

This is why I find Noel Braddy different. She doesn’t fit either category. Nonetheless, I’ll always think of her as just a joke.