Rhythm of Love

Nora’s Point of View

Warmth flushed my cheeks as salty tears fell from my eyes. My cloudy eyes watched Alex storm away in a fit of anger, and I couldn’t blame him. If I were in his place, I’d be horrified with me as well. It was all my fault that Eli wasn’t home earlier, and as a result Alex was forced to move out. It was my fault if Eli got hurt, because I had to request we go to a restaurant to eat after having an awesome day at the amusement. It was amazing, thinking back on it now, how the day had gone for bad to wonderful, and wonderful back to horrible. As my mind filled with these thoughts, more tears fell from my eyes and I felt myself slip off the swing into the mud below. But I didn’t move, I couldn’t move. My body wouldn’t allow me to leave from this spot, too disgusted from my stupidity to allow it to return to the warm home where Cyn would be waiting.

Cyn. She’d be wondering where I was. Not only that, but Damien would be too. He’d come out looking for me, like the great friend he was. The friend I surely did not deserve at this point, for all the crap I’ve done. I willed my shaking legs to allow me to stand and they obliged but only with the help of the metal poles holding up the swings. Staring down at my jeans and shirt, I grimaced as the mud seeped through each layer and the cold mush touched my skin. A shaky sigh blew from my lips as I stumbled away from the swing set of my childhood and into the forest looming behind it.

The trees twined into each other as I strolled blindly through them, looking for a tree in particular. Even in the heavy darkness, I would be able to find it. Squinting, I stared into the distance at a single tree; it was a dying weeping willow. Its branches hung in agony and the spiraling leaves were lifeless in the still night. However, in the light of the moon and in the state that it was in, the tree had a sort of beyond-life glow to it. Tears continued to line my face, but for once that night I felt serenity and calmness wash over me. When I approached the willow and bowed under its branches, my eyes laid on the engraving I’d made long ago: A.B&N.M.

My lip quivered and I felt myself sink to my knees in sadness. With a sudden burst of anger, I made a fist and punched the bark with all my strength. Once, twice, and then three times until my knuckles were raw. New tears formed and I sank into fetal position.

“I’ve hurt Eli,” I whimpered, so low no one would be able to hear me. “I’ve hurt Alex. I’ve hurt everyone, haven’t I? I just keep hurting people, right God?” My eyes traced the full moon and I sniffled before wiping my face with the back of my hand. Under that weeping willow, I felt my eyes grow heavy and, unable to withstand its power, felt my body relax and fall into a deep slumber.



My body ached as I tossed around on my bed. Or, what I thought was my bed until my eyes fluttered open to reveal the crooked branches on a tree. My eyes narrowed and I struggled to sit upright. Peering down at myself, I grimaced at all the mud and the dried blood on my knuckles. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought I’d gotten into a fight or something along those lines. However, the events of last night flashed into my mind and I felt myself lean against the hard bark. With a frown, I whispered, “That’s right. Alex was kicked out and Eli probably hurt because of me.”

With a sigh, I struggled to stand up in the small space and pushed away the branches in order to exit. The sun shone overhead and caused the dew on the grass to twinkle. As I broke through the woods, my eyes caught site of at least ten little kids playing on the jungle gym and swinging on the swings. Two kids, separate from the rest, caught my eye. The little boy held what looked like a caterpillar in his hands and the girl was peering over his shoulder in awe. “This,” the boy explained to the little girl, “will soon be a really pretty butterfly!” The girl gasped, as if this very fact was phenomenal.

She giggled, her blonde curls bouncing a bit as she grinned at the dark brunette boy. “Really? That’s so cool!” She laughed and I felt myself smile a bit too at the familiar seen, a memory from when I was so little and issues with family were unknown and happiness surrounded us. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes, but when I went to look at the two, they were completely gone, as if they too were just part of a distant memory.

And that’s all they were, I realized as I approached my car. Just a part of the past, there but too far away to ever hope to reach.

The ride home was full of silence, besides the slow tune of Heartbreak Warfare playing from the radio. I could only imagine how angry my parents would be for staying out late, the sadness Cyn would hide in her eyes, and the frustration Damien would feel. Because, he didn’t have to live with us to know something was wrong. As my house came into view, I caught sight of Damien first as he sat on the hood of his car. No one else, as far as I could tell, was home. When I pulled into the driveway and killed the engine, I didn’t move from my seat. Damien didn’t move either.

Finally, it was too much to bear so I climbed out of my car and slid onto the hood of Damien’s car. He was silent as I watched his face, his tightened jaw, his burning eyes. Before I could say anything, he asked, “What happened?” Saliva slid down my throat and he continued, “You never came home last night. It took a lot of convincing your parents that you were at a friend’s house.” So he’d covered for me.

Suddenly, Damien rolled over so his hands were on either side of my head and I was unable to move. His eyes were burning with frustration and anger, just as I’d thought they would. “Where the hell were you, Nor? And don’t give me any shit.”

I ended up starting from the very beginning, right up to when I’d met Eli at The Rev, to last night with how angry Alex was at me, to the thoughts that were playing in my mind now. How I blamed myself for it all, even though a new, more rational side tried to convince me it wasn’t my fault. There was no way for me to have known Eli was Alex’s brother and that his mom would get angry, but I still blamed myself anyway. Now that I think about it, I thought as I ended my story. That would explain why I’d think of Alex every time I was with Eli. They don’t look much alike but… Eli acts just like Alex had. A long time ago.

Before I was aware of what he was doing, my attention focused on Damien who had rolled off me and was now sitting in the driver’s seat. As I stared into his coal eyes, I saw a new sense of anger and frustration; unlike with the one he felt with me, there was no hidden sadness or disappointment. I jumped off of the hood and he rolled down the window, not meeting me gaze. “What are you doing? Where are you going?”

“Where is he?” I stared at him, confused.

“Who?”

“You know who I’m talking about, Nor,” his eyes flickered to me and I nearly lost my breath. His stare dug into my heart and scared me to my bones.

He had already made his decision. There was nothing I could do to stop him now. “Where is he?” he repeated.

In a small voice, I explained the direction of Connor’s house and as he sped away, new tears formed in my eyes.

This could not end good.