Status: active :)
Do You Still Want Me?
Do you still want me?
I looked up at Declan. Tears fell fearlessly down his face. Rain began slapping the concert in rage.
“Zeida” he sighed, holding his breath as water dripped through his dark hair. “Can I come in?” He asked studying my face.
“No” I whispered digging my nails in my arm.
“What?” he asked staring at me in disbelief
This time I looked up at him. “I SAID NO DECLAN”
His mouth hung open in a strange way.
“You think you can just drag me along. Take me wherever the fuck you want to go. But I’m not going to let that happen anymore. We are nothing. There’s nothing between us. And right now I don’t expect there to ever be again.”
“Just listen to me.” He pleaded grabbing my hand but I pull it from his grasp.
“I’m so scared Declan. I’m so incredibly scared. Every day I think of how I’m going to deal without you. I can’t rely on you anymore. Do you understand that? We had something. Something I thought could last forever but I was wrong. That attends to happen a lot these days. And if you think that I’m just going to grit my teeth and deal with the fact that you’re not here? Well Declan I’m not, I’m moving on and I really hope you do too.” I lifted my hands only to see the blood caked marks were my fingernails in beaded in my skin.
He began looking up at me. Tears leaked from his eyes but they were lost in the sky’s unforgivable furry. And then I saw what he wanted me too. The pain stretched over his eyes in a way that I would never be able to forget. He began extending his hand.
“No more fighting” he choked. “I want you as my own. I want to see you for every second of every day for the rest of my life. I want to hold you in a way that no man can possibly ever do. I want to show you how to see things in my perspective. Come with me Zeida” he asked pulling something from his pocket. “Marry me and I will never ever have to worry that I will lose you.”
I froze. My body stiffened by the mesmerizing beauty of the small ring that holds its balance in his left hand. I grabbed his body and leaned it against mine kissing him in a way that I would never be able to describe.
“I can’t” I said as my forehead rested against his.
“W…what do you mean Zeida? He whispered.
“I can’t” I said as I started to shut the window but his hand held it up.
“Do you still want me? He said coldly as his voice mangled in all different voices.
“Does it even madder?” I screamed
“Yeah, it does.” He said calmly.
“Then yes Declan, I will always want you. Too bad that I always set my mind on things I can’t have” I whispered then shut the window and locked it.
I sunk down the wall holding my head in my hands. Minutes pasted and my palms were covered in my salty warm tears. They dripped like acid down my legs. My head turned upward to find him gone. Hollowness erupted through me. I have no one.
“Zeida” he sighed, holding his breath as water dripped through his dark hair. “Can I come in?” He asked studying my face.
“No” I whispered digging my nails in my arm.
“What?” he asked staring at me in disbelief
This time I looked up at him. “I SAID NO DECLAN”
His mouth hung open in a strange way.
“You think you can just drag me along. Take me wherever the fuck you want to go. But I’m not going to let that happen anymore. We are nothing. There’s nothing between us. And right now I don’t expect there to ever be again.”
“Just listen to me.” He pleaded grabbing my hand but I pull it from his grasp.
“I’m so scared Declan. I’m so incredibly scared. Every day I think of how I’m going to deal without you. I can’t rely on you anymore. Do you understand that? We had something. Something I thought could last forever but I was wrong. That attends to happen a lot these days. And if you think that I’m just going to grit my teeth and deal with the fact that you’re not here? Well Declan I’m not, I’m moving on and I really hope you do too.” I lifted my hands only to see the blood caked marks were my fingernails in beaded in my skin.
He began looking up at me. Tears leaked from his eyes but they were lost in the sky’s unforgivable furry. And then I saw what he wanted me too. The pain stretched over his eyes in a way that I would never be able to forget. He began extending his hand.
“No more fighting” he choked. “I want you as my own. I want to see you for every second of every day for the rest of my life. I want to hold you in a way that no man can possibly ever do. I want to show you how to see things in my perspective. Come with me Zeida” he asked pulling something from his pocket. “Marry me and I will never ever have to worry that I will lose you.”
I froze. My body stiffened by the mesmerizing beauty of the small ring that holds its balance in his left hand. I grabbed his body and leaned it against mine kissing him in a way that I would never be able to describe.
“I can’t” I said as my forehead rested against his.
“W…what do you mean Zeida? He whispered.
“I can’t” I said as I started to shut the window but his hand held it up.
“Do you still want me? He said coldly as his voice mangled in all different voices.
“Does it even madder?” I screamed
“Yeah, it does.” He said calmly.
“Then yes Declan, I will always want you. Too bad that I always set my mind on things I can’t have” I whispered then shut the window and locked it.
I sunk down the wall holding my head in my hands. Minutes pasted and my palms were covered in my salty warm tears. They dripped like acid down my legs. My head turned upward to find him gone. Hollowness erupted through me. I have no one.