Better than you can imagine

The days are just flying by. It seems like just yesterday that winter was approaching and I was kicking Cory’s ass. Now I am already flipping my kitchen calendar to June. I cannot believe that graduation is coming up in just a few weeks!

We got our yearbook this week. Of course on photo day Gerard was sick, so his picture isn’t going to be in there… bummer! Oh well, he can write whatever he wants when he signs my yearbook. He is probably the only person, aside from teachers, who will be signing mine, so plenty of room. No problem whatsoever though. Definitely beats past years where it was just teachers and my mom. At least now I have a friend to sign it too!

This school year has been so long, but short at the same time. Long because of classes, and the awkward silences of entering rooms. Cory had to resort to home schooling for the rest of the school year because of his injuries and inability to travel to school and to all of his classes. It makes life easier for me though. That’s for sure.

Jason and his posse of assholes have finally backed the fuck off. They sit behind me and get off the bus before me, but don’t say a word. I’m about as invisible to them as Gerard, except it’s more out of fear and not out of disrespect.

I got the response letter from Rutgers yesterday. I haven’t opened it yet though. I’m too nervous. I decided I’ll do it today when I go to lunch with Gerard in the auditorium. I figured it’s what’s best. This way if I get in, we can celebrate. But if I don’t, then at least I’m not alone when I find out.
Gerard got into an art school in New York. He’s going to be crazy busy. He told me he’s already started to save for his books and art supplies. For just his introduction to drawing class he has to buy $200 worth of supplies. That is insane. But then again, college books can cost upwards of $300 a semester. No matter what, college expenses will be no bueno for either of us…

…assuming I get accepted.

___________________________

Sitting on the concrete floor of our secret room, I start to eat my lunch.

“So you know how you found out that you got accepted into art school? Well… I got my letter from Rutgers last night” I said anxiously.

“…and?” Gerard said with anticipation.

“And I was too much of a pussy to open it. So much pressure, you know? If I get in, awesome. If not, then what? This is the only place I applied to. I probably should have applied around but each application is $50. That’s a lot of money to invest just to get a yes or no.”

“Yeah, but it’s too late to question if you made the right choice or not. All you can do is open the letter and find out your fate. I’m sure you got in, but if not it’s not the end of the world. Rutgers isn’t the only school in New Jersey that teaches Business Management. You will have the whole summer to apply places if you didn’t get in. You might just have to pay a few late fees here and there. But still, not the end of the world. But enough of that, we don’t even know if you have to even consider that! Open the envelope! Do it… do it!” Gerard yelled in excitement.

Man, he sure knows a lot about college and what to do in this or that situation. But unlike him, I don’t have the guts at the moment to open this envelope and read the letter. Too much pressure on if it says one of two things: yes or no. Either I got in and my life will be awesome, or I didn’t and my life is going to suck.

I grab my book bag and put it on my lap. Slowly unzipping the largest compartment, I reach in for the letter. Grabbing it, I put it on the floor and re-zip my bag. Putting the bag to the side, I pick the letter up off of the ground. I go to open it but hesitate…

“Ahh! I can’t do it. I need you to do it!” I yell, throwing the letter on my lap and covering my face.

“Seriously? You beat the shit out of your bully to the point that he’s home schooled from his injuries but you can’t open a letter from a college? Give me that…” He said jokingly with half a smirk on his face.

“Oh shut it…” I said jokingly, but also anxiously.

“So here it is. The moment of truth. The determination of your fate. Will you be a college student? Or will you be a bum on the street? Only one way to find out! Drum roll please!”

I started slapping my legs to make a drum roll sound as Gerard tore open the envelope, extracting the letter from within. Unfolding the letter, he skimmed through the page. The man sure does have a good poker face, because I couldn’t decipher anything positive or negative from his face. The pressure was killing me. I kept slapping my legs half out of excitement and half out of fear. Finally Gerard looked up at me. Slowly lowering the paper to the ground, he started to talk in a serious tone.
“I’m sorry, Frank. We’re not going to see each other for a while…” My heart stopped.

“Wha… what do you m-mean?” I asked, stuttering a little.

“Well, we’re not going to see each other for a while since you’ll be so busy with college. You got in!”
Before he even finished saying the word “in” I had pounced at him with the biggest hug. I was so excited; so happy! My dad would be so proud of me. My mom will be so excited to hear this! Success will be my revenge… damn right!

“See? I told you that you could do it! By the way,… I kind… of need air…” said Gerard, trying to catch his breath between words from how tightly I was hugging him.

“Ahh, sorry” I said letting go of him and sitting back down. “I’m just so… ahh! I can’t believe it! College… wow! Thanks for opening it dude. It was either you or my mom, and I think if I opened it with my mom it’d be way more emotional than this.”

Gerard sat there smiling with excitement for me. We were both accepted into the fields of education we wanted! But as the excitement sank in, so did the realization that what Gerard said about us not seeing each other was true. We would both be too busy with school to be able to visit. Maybe for spring break but I hear that teachers like to pile on a lot of homework over breaks. Gerard is going to move to New York to pursue his art, and I’m going to stay in the heart of Jersey to pursue managing a band. We might be able to send letters but let’s face it… I write the letters and never send them in the mail. I just suck like that.

But we still have a graduation, and we still have this summer. We can deal with the sad goodbyes and awkward realizations of how much life can sometimes suck in the fall.

But for this moment right now I am happy; happy for bright futures for myself and for my one and only true friend: Gerard.