Status: In Progress
Headliner
Seven
THE PITTSBURGH PRESS
Pittsburgh’s leading news publication
Email message:
To: Andrew Stevens <Andrew.Stevens@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Sophie Labelle <Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Re: New assignment
Attached: Penscopy1Labelle.doc
Andrew,
Please get me off this. I understand that I’m a reporter and we have to be flexible and I also understand that you’re my boss and I have to do what you say, but here’s the thing. I can’t write sports. I know nothing about sports and if you don’t believe me, I’ve attached my first piece about the Penguins. It is a play by play of the game; in fact I should add Mike Lange to the byline. It’s bush league, Andrew. High school kids covering football game do a better job. I am so not qualified, so so so not qualified. I have a B.A in political science and journalism, not sports whatever and journalism. Please.
I’ll buy the whole office Krispy Kreme’s for the rest of the year.
Desperately crying out for help,
Your disgruntled international affairs correspondent
---
A Season Unfolding: Pens Shutout Rangers 5-0
Written by: Sophie Labelle
PITTSBURGH— The Pittsburgh Penguins are no strangers to showdowns with division rivals. In a five game homestand stretch, the Pens took on notable Atlantic enemies such as the Flyers and Islanders with impressive results, but last nights display of force against the league leading Rangers was show stopping. Literally.
Marc-Andre Fleury shined in his most brilliant performance of the season, out playing Henrik Lundqvist in his second shutout. “I was prepared for this game and the fans were behind me—it was a nice feeling, I like when they chant my name. Hopefully this makes up for the soft goals I let in the other night.” A happy Fleury joked to the media earlier.
No story recapping the on ice domination would be complete without the mention of superstar captain Sidney Crosby. Crosby managed his third hat trick of the season, pushing him ahead of Stamkos in the race for the leagues top scorer. “I had a lot of help from the guys, Duper [winger Pascal Dupuis] capitalized on a lot of mistakes from the Rangers and it showed.” Crosby said after the spectacular performance.
Other notable performances were centre Jordan Staal, who had a goal and two assists that night; as well as skilled centre Max Talbot, who’s impressive play generated three assists as well as the first goal of the evening.
The Penguins take on the New Jersey Devils on Thursday at 7:00 in the Consol Energy Center.
---
Email message:
To: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Andrew Stevens <Andrew.Stevens@thepbpress.com>
Re: New assignment
> and I also understand that you’re my boss and I have to do what you say
There it is, Labelle. You’ve got the Pens assignment so deal with it. And apparently, you’re doing a decent enough job that the PR representative from the Penguins has asked that you accompany the team on their road trip to the west to write a few profile pieces for their website and the paper. She said the players don’t hate you and a few even requested you, so that’s something. Suck it up.
Did you finish that piece on Stephen Harper? I’m not paying you an increased salary for my health. I need it on my desk by five and ready for publication before you leave this door.
What kind of ship do you think I run here, Labelle?
---
Email Message:
To: Andrew Stevens<Andrew.Stevens@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Re: Your sick joke
Road trip?
What road trip?????? What are you talking about???????????????
---
Email Message:
To: Sarah Hughes<Sarah.Hughes@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Re: Kill me now
Andrew just pulled me in his office and gave me an inch thick packet filled with papers for traveling with the team.
This is a sign I should have stayed in New York, where bad things never happen to good people.
---
To: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Sarah Hughes<Sarah.Hughes@thepbpress.com>
Re: Kill me now
Okay first of all, bad things always happen to good people in New York. Did you not read that article about that guy dressed in a gorilla suit who went and shot up a deli? Do you think those deli customers and employees were bad? Deli owners aren’t bad, they’re nice old Jewish men who give you extra shmere on your bagel because you look too thin.
Unless they’re the Italian mob kind of deli owners who bring people in the back to get killed.
That’s not the point. You’re overthinking this. You travel with dangerous people in dangerous places all the time, just get into the same mentality you had when you went to Afghanistan. Except you’re going to be in a plane full of hot hockey players and you don’t need a Kevlar vest and you’ll get to eat something other than lamb and yogurt.
---
Email Message:
To: Sarah Hughes<Sarah.Hughes@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Re: you
Are so unhelpful. I just sent all my stories to copy and it’s 5:30. Do you want to grab dinner? I’m craving lamb and yogurt.
---
To: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Sarah Hughes<Sarah.Hughes@thepbpress.com>
Re: me
I’m not eating lamb and yogurt.
---
THE PITTSBURGH PRESS
Pittsburgh’s leading news publication
Email Message:
To: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Maxime Talbot<MTalbot@Penguins.nhl.com>
Re: My impressive play
So how did writing those words taste?
I’m flattered, by the way. I never knew you thought so highly of me. Wish I could say the same there.
Eternally humbled,
“Skilled centre Max Talbot”
Sent from my Iphone
---
Email Message:
To: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Marc-Andre Fleury<MAFleury@Penguins.nhl.com>
Re: Your article!
Thanks for the great article! You didn’t have to be so nice, especially after we all laughed at the Max thing the other night at dinner. Sid says thanks too, but he said it really was all Duper. He thinks being modest is cute.
Some of the guys are coming over to my house for dinner tomorrow before we leave for the road trip and it would be great if you came! My girlfriend is a really great cook, it’s why I keep her around.
P.S Don’t listen to Max.
Sent from my Iphone
---
Email Message:
To: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Kristopher Letang<KLetang@Penguins.nhl.com>
Re: bonjour
Hey Sophie,
We all read your first article and thought it was great! So don’t listen to Max, really. We don’t even like him that much, I promise.
Hope we’ll see you at Flowers house!
Sent from my Iphone
---
Email Message:
To: Maxime Talbot<MTalbot@penguins.nhl.com>
Fr: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Re: Your impressive play
> So how did writing those words taste?
Like pure gasoline.
I got so sick writing that sentence, I had to collect hazard pay. But don’t worry for my health, I did a little research on your stats and it looks like I won’t be writing anything like that for a long time to come.
Oh and I hope I’ll see you at Marc-Andre’s house tomorrow! It’s always a treat. I’ll make sure to wear something real nice since you find me so attractive and all.
What can I say? I’m a giver.
Toodles,
Sophie
---
To: Sidney Crosby<SCrosby@penguins.nhl.com>
Fr: Maxime Talbot<MTalbot@Penguins.nhl.com>
Re: can I kill her?
>> So how did writing those words taste?
Like pure gasoline.
>I got so sick writing that sentence, I had to collect hazard pay. But don’t worry for my health, I did a little research on your stats and it looks like I won’t be writing anything like that for a long time to come.
>Oh and I hope I’ll see you at Marc-Andre’s house tomorrow! It’s always a treat. I’ll make sure to wear something real nice since you find me so attractive and all.
>What can I say? I’m a giver.
>Toodles,
>Sophie
This girl is poison.
Sent from my Iphone
---
To: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Maxime Talbot<MTalbot@Penguins.nhl.com>
Re: You’re sick
I think the part is cancelled, sorry. No need to come. Even if it was going on, there wouldn’t be a reason for you to come. It’s a team party for the TEAM road trip, which doesn’t include you.
And for the record, I don’t find you attractive. It was a mistake on my part, but I’ve since talked to the team doctor and got my prescription fixed so don’t flatter yourself. I find Sid’s playoff beard more attractive than you. In fact, I find you so unattractive that I talked to Flower about letting you borrow his mask indefinitely. I thought it might help you out in your personal life.
Also, I’d like to mention I’m an integral part of the team and while my numbers may not reflect that, my impressive play is a regular occurrence
Always a friend,
Max
Sent from my Iphone
---
To: Maxime Talbot<MTalbot@penguins.nhl.com>
Fr: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Re: Your diary entry/last email
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Also, I’m actually going to be on that road trip.
Kisses,
Soph
Pittsburgh’s leading news publication
Email message:
To: Andrew Stevens <Andrew.Stevens@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Sophie Labelle <Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Re: New assignment
Attached: Penscopy1Labelle.doc
Andrew,
Please get me off this. I understand that I’m a reporter and we have to be flexible and I also understand that you’re my boss and I have to do what you say, but here’s the thing. I can’t write sports. I know nothing about sports and if you don’t believe me, I’ve attached my first piece about the Penguins. It is a play by play of the game; in fact I should add Mike Lange to the byline. It’s bush league, Andrew. High school kids covering football game do a better job. I am so not qualified, so so so not qualified. I have a B.A in political science and journalism, not sports whatever and journalism. Please.
I’ll buy the whole office Krispy Kreme’s for the rest of the year.
Desperately crying out for help,
Your disgruntled international affairs correspondent
---
A Season Unfolding: Pens Shutout Rangers 5-0
Written by: Sophie Labelle
PITTSBURGH— The Pittsburgh Penguins are no strangers to showdowns with division rivals. In a five game homestand stretch, the Pens took on notable Atlantic enemies such as the Flyers and Islanders with impressive results, but last nights display of force against the league leading Rangers was show stopping. Literally.
Marc-Andre Fleury shined in his most brilliant performance of the season, out playing Henrik Lundqvist in his second shutout. “I was prepared for this game and the fans were behind me—it was a nice feeling, I like when they chant my name. Hopefully this makes up for the soft goals I let in the other night.” A happy Fleury joked to the media earlier.
No story recapping the on ice domination would be complete without the mention of superstar captain Sidney Crosby. Crosby managed his third hat trick of the season, pushing him ahead of Stamkos in the race for the leagues top scorer. “I had a lot of help from the guys, Duper [winger Pascal Dupuis] capitalized on a lot of mistakes from the Rangers and it showed.” Crosby said after the spectacular performance.
Other notable performances were centre Jordan Staal, who had a goal and two assists that night; as well as skilled centre Max Talbot, who’s impressive play generated three assists as well as the first goal of the evening.
The Penguins take on the New Jersey Devils on Thursday at 7:00 in the Consol Energy Center.
---
Email message:
To: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Andrew Stevens <Andrew.Stevens@thepbpress.com>
Re: New assignment
> and I also understand that you’re my boss and I have to do what you say
There it is, Labelle. You’ve got the Pens assignment so deal with it. And apparently, you’re doing a decent enough job that the PR representative from the Penguins has asked that you accompany the team on their road trip to the west to write a few profile pieces for their website and the paper. She said the players don’t hate you and a few even requested you, so that’s something. Suck it up.
Did you finish that piece on Stephen Harper? I’m not paying you an increased salary for my health. I need it on my desk by five and ready for publication before you leave this door.
What kind of ship do you think I run here, Labelle?
---
Email Message:
To: Andrew Stevens<Andrew.Stevens@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Re: Your sick joke
Road trip?
What road trip?????? What are you talking about???????????????
---
Email Message:
To: Sarah Hughes<Sarah.Hughes@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Re: Kill me now
Andrew just pulled me in his office and gave me an inch thick packet filled with papers for traveling with the team.
This is a sign I should have stayed in New York, where bad things never happen to good people.
---
To: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Sarah Hughes<Sarah.Hughes@thepbpress.com>
Re: Kill me now
Okay first of all, bad things always happen to good people in New York. Did you not read that article about that guy dressed in a gorilla suit who went and shot up a deli? Do you think those deli customers and employees were bad? Deli owners aren’t bad, they’re nice old Jewish men who give you extra shmere on your bagel because you look too thin.
Unless they’re the Italian mob kind of deli owners who bring people in the back to get killed.
That’s not the point. You’re overthinking this. You travel with dangerous people in dangerous places all the time, just get into the same mentality you had when you went to Afghanistan. Except you’re going to be in a plane full of hot hockey players and you don’t need a Kevlar vest and you’ll get to eat something other than lamb and yogurt.
---
Email Message:
To: Sarah Hughes<Sarah.Hughes@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Re: you
Are so unhelpful. I just sent all my stories to copy and it’s 5:30. Do you want to grab dinner? I’m craving lamb and yogurt.
---
To: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Sarah Hughes<Sarah.Hughes@thepbpress.com>
Re: me
I’m not eating lamb and yogurt.
---
THE PITTSBURGH PRESS
Pittsburgh’s leading news publication
Email Message:
To: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Maxime Talbot<MTalbot@Penguins.nhl.com>
Re: My impressive play
So how did writing those words taste?
I’m flattered, by the way. I never knew you thought so highly of me. Wish I could say the same there.
Eternally humbled,
“Skilled centre Max Talbot”
Sent from my Iphone
---
Email Message:
To: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Marc-Andre Fleury<MAFleury@Penguins.nhl.com>
Re: Your article!
Thanks for the great article! You didn’t have to be so nice, especially after we all laughed at the Max thing the other night at dinner. Sid says thanks too, but he said it really was all Duper. He thinks being modest is cute.
Some of the guys are coming over to my house for dinner tomorrow before we leave for the road trip and it would be great if you came! My girlfriend is a really great cook, it’s why I keep her around.
P.S Don’t listen to Max.
Sent from my Iphone
---
Email Message:
To: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Kristopher Letang<KLetang@Penguins.nhl.com>
Re: bonjour
Hey Sophie,
We all read your first article and thought it was great! So don’t listen to Max, really. We don’t even like him that much, I promise.
Hope we’ll see you at Flowers house!
Sent from my Iphone
---
Email Message:
To: Maxime Talbot<MTalbot@penguins.nhl.com>
Fr: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Re: Your impressive play
> So how did writing those words taste?
Like pure gasoline.
I got so sick writing that sentence, I had to collect hazard pay. But don’t worry for my health, I did a little research on your stats and it looks like I won’t be writing anything like that for a long time to come.
Oh and I hope I’ll see you at Marc-Andre’s house tomorrow! It’s always a treat. I’ll make sure to wear something real nice since you find me so attractive and all.
What can I say? I’m a giver.
Toodles,
Sophie
---
To: Sidney Crosby<SCrosby@penguins.nhl.com>
Fr: Maxime Talbot<MTalbot@Penguins.nhl.com>
Re: can I kill her?
>> So how did writing those words taste?
Like pure gasoline.
>I got so sick writing that sentence, I had to collect hazard pay. But don’t worry for my health, I did a little research on your stats and it looks like I won’t be writing anything like that for a long time to come.
>Oh and I hope I’ll see you at Marc-Andre’s house tomorrow! It’s always a treat. I’ll make sure to wear something real nice since you find me so attractive and all.
>What can I say? I’m a giver.
>Toodles,
>Sophie
This girl is poison.
Sent from my Iphone
---
To: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Fr: Maxime Talbot<MTalbot@Penguins.nhl.com>
Re: You’re sick
I think the part is cancelled, sorry. No need to come. Even if it was going on, there wouldn’t be a reason for you to come. It’s a team party for the TEAM road trip, which doesn’t include you.
And for the record, I don’t find you attractive. It was a mistake on my part, but I’ve since talked to the team doctor and got my prescription fixed so don’t flatter yourself. I find Sid’s playoff beard more attractive than you. In fact, I find you so unattractive that I talked to Flower about letting you borrow his mask indefinitely. I thought it might help you out in your personal life.
Also, I’d like to mention I’m an integral part of the team and while my numbers may not reflect that, my impressive play is a regular occurrence
Always a friend,
Max
Sent from my Iphone
---
To: Maxime Talbot<MTalbot@penguins.nhl.com>
Fr: Sophie Labelle<Sophie.Labelle@thepbpress.com>
Re: Your diary entry/last email
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Also, I’m actually going to be on that road trip.
Kisses,
Soph
♠ ♠ ♠
okay so Mibba finally dropped the thing on this story, so I guess I can continue. Yay.