Therapy

“Hi,” a cute voice startled me as I was updating my blog later that day.

Four days until my departure, four single days. And I haven't done anything productive in the time I was with Alex. What happened to getting together with Mark and shit?

The only one thing I sort of got was Jack.

I looked up to see the devil himself sitting across from me grinning. I wasn't sure what we were, he didn't kiss me or embraced me with a 'stuck-in'-situation, but I'm one-hundred percent sure he thought of us at least more than friends.

“Hi,” I smiled back.

“Will you go out to eat with me?”

His question was prompt and simple. No small talk around it, not playing hard to get. Just a simple question. And still it got my heart to skip a beat and go crazy. He was just so Jack, nothing new. I grinned, trying to play it normal: “Let me just grab my bag.”

I logged out, shut the notebook and checked myself in the bathroom mirror, before I grabbed my bag and met Jack at the front of the bus. He was dressed in his casual shirt and hoodie with the skinny jeans and some colorful Nikes. Just Jack.

“Let’s go,” I smiled, my fingers still shaking a little until Jack grabbed my hand and led me into downtown Salt Lake City (as I found out while we passed a sign). My heartbeat slowly calmed down and my breathing became steadier as we walked to some place to eat. Applebees, as Jack haltered to a stop a few minutes later.

"Stop being so nervous Kase," Jack whispered as he pulled me into the restaurant. "This is just us grabbing food nothing major."

In return I glared at him for being so normally forward as always. I can't help it that I was extremely nervous around him. "I'm nervous too," He confessed right before we were seated.

“Anything special you want to do before the set today?” Jack asked while we were waiting for our food to arrive. The small talk came easier now, knowing Jack was equally as confused about this as me.

“Something just with you.” I smiled, "I haven't been here in a while, how about we see a little bit of the city?"

“I feel honored,” he smiled and ordered us both a beer. I carefully studied the menu for something easy to eat. Ever since I told Alex I had promised to eat, I was eating - most of the time. If I wasn't Alex would torture me; show me pictures of sick girls or videos of other victims. As far as I know, Alex was until today the only person who knew I wasn't eating regularly. But if he saw me eat at least something he'd back off.

“You should.” I snickered back at him. Our eyes connected and all the fuzziness flooded back into my body. It was as if I didn't need to be pretty for him, as if I could tell him everything, as if everything was back to being perfect. But it wasn't.

“I'll take you somewhere special.”

I smiled widely and nodded: “Where?”

He didn't give me specifics. Leaving me to guess what we were going to do know, with the three hours left until show time. After lunch Jack drove me to a park that seemed to be rather outside the city than an actual city park. We walked through the park until we were standing in front of a big, a little run-down, long building.

"What's this?" I asked as he just kept pulling me closer there. If the sun had been down just some more, and some less people were walking their dogs in this park, it could seem like Jack was kidnapping me. But the closer we got, the more I could make out.

It was a dog park and the building was a dog shelter. I smiled and squeezed his hand. Outside Jack might seem like an arrogant rock-star that didn't take shit seriously, but deep down he was the most sincere guy I knew.

"This is were I got Pig from," he explained about his bulldog Pig. I knew he had him from an animal shelter, but I figured he could have been from Baltimore. "Hey Lizzy," Jack greeted an older woman in front of the doors, "It's nice to see you."

"Jack, so wonderful for you to come by."

Jack smiled at her and introduced me as Kasey, to which in my surprise the lady smiled even wider. I looked at Jack for answers, but he just squeezed my hand. Lizzy introduced us to knew dogs in the family, some found on the streets, some given up and a few injured dogs that were rejected by their actual owners.

Jack and I ended up walking a dog named Theo. He was a puppy bulldog, given up from his owner. He was chocolate brown, and way too thin. We both were in a conversation about dinosaurs and which dinosaur would beat an attack of the Na’vi people, while walking Theo through the park.

It was nice to do something good, even if it was just for a few hours. Jack told me about why he liked this place so much and why he picked Pig. It was a rare moment like this that I truly knew 'I love this guy'. Around five it was time to return Theo.

Jack and I drove back into the city, doing some window shopping before we had to return to the venue. We waved in and out of stores, most of the time just looking and trying to not get caught by fans, but sometimes buying one or two little things.

“I want you back,” Jack suddenly said while I was trying on a shirt at this one store.

I froze and opened the curtain slowly. I looked at his body leaning onto the wall with such ease, his shirt carelessly falling down his lanky body. His brown eyes watching me every move. I scanned him over a second time.

Did I want him back? Yes.

Can I trust to have him back? I don’t know.

Are we good enough to talk about all our mistakes? No.

I smiled at my inner monolog, “Jack-“

Jack didn’t let me finish, he kissed me right there.

I needed to talk to someone. Figure this out.

I grinned as Jack took my hand, bought me a new outfit and then took me back to the venue just on time for their performance. I went over to find Vinny and set up merch for tonight.

In a way I was glad I had Jack back, no doubt. But shit wasn’t cleared up completely between us. We both cheated. He knows I slept with his best friend, and no one has yet really talked about it. He doesn’t know that I saw him sleep with Tay and that I revenged cheated and until we talked about it, I couldn’t just enjoy everything about us.

I sighed as I listened to them playing Jimmy Eat World songs while setting the rest up and then went to perform.

“Kasey is that you?” Pete’s voice asked through the phone full with surprise that I had just called him unexpected.

“Pete, I fucked up big time.” I sighed into my iPhone.

“Where are you?”

“Some venue. On tour. With All Time Low.” I huffed.

“I can hear that. Hence the really loud ATL music in the background. Close to L.A.?”

“New Orleans tomorrow Pete. I need to fucking talk to you.”

“Tomorrow 8 a.m. at Starbucks, I’ll call you.”

“What? Pete!”

“I can’t right now, Bronx, Starbucks tomorrow babe. Love you.”

Pete hung up, I sighed, why couldn’t he be more specific. I don’t even know what Starbucks and shit.

Typical band boys.