Status: Active
Others Have Excuses, but I Have My Reasons Why
Say What?
I go to roll over but am firmly held in place confusing me at first till I remember Zacky stayed the night and realize his arm is around me.
“What time is it?” Zacky asks loosening his grip on my waist.
“It’s almost ten,” I say rolling over and looking at my phone.
“Can we go back to sleep?” he asks pulling me back over to him.
“I guess; I have today off again,” I say snuggling up to him. “Night again,” I say making my pillow comfortable.
“Night; love you,” he says making my eyes snap open and my heart flutter.
“What?” I croak out.
“I said I love you,” he says snuggling into me before drifting off to sleep.
Once I’m sure he’s asleep again I crawl out of bed, careful not to wake him up, and grab my phone along with my cigs before quickly making my way downstairs and outside. I quickly light up and call Megan before babbling incoherently when she answers her phone.
“Would you like to try that again?” Megan asks once I finally start babbling; which just sends me into another babbling mess.
“Again in English not Spanglish,” Megan says with a slight sigh.
“Sorry,” I say taking a deep breath. “So Zacky stayed the night last night; right? Well, we woke up a few minutes ago and he wanted to go back to sleep so I said ‘night’ then he said ‘night; love you’… I can’t handle this,” I say sliding down the side of the railing on my patio so I’m sitting down beside the house.
“While I appreciate you calling me I don’t know what you want me to do about it; you have to talk to him,” Megan says sighing.
“I know; but I don’t want to,” I whine as I hear movement inside. “Shit!”
“Is he up?” Megan asks as Zacky comes outside with a confused look on his face.
“Yeah; gotta go. Love ya,” I say quickly hanging up. “Hi,” I say with a nervous laugh.
“Why are you out here? I thought we were going back to sleep,” Zacky says looking at me oddly as we both light up.
“I couldn’t sleep so I called Megan,” I say shrugging away from him when he goes to put his arm around me after sitting down beside me.
“What’s wrong?” Zacky asks looking at me funny.
“Wrong? Why would anything be wrong? I mean what makes you think that?” I begin to babble laughing nervously.
“That was so convincing,” Zacky says looking at me oddly.
“OK; so maybe you’re right. Maybe something is wrong,” I say looking at my feet as I put out my cig.
“That being?” he asks looking at me oddly.
“I… umm… what you said this morning,” I say mumbling in Spanish.
“OK; you need to speak English and speak up,” Zacky says looking at me oddly.
“Why can no one understand Spanish? If you people understood Spanish dealing with me when I’m upset would be so much easier,” I huff running my fingers through my hair.
“Dude, seriously what is up with you?” Zacky asks looking at me like I’ve grown another head.
“You said ‘I love you’,” I say looking at him in the same manner.
“That’s why you’re freaking the fuck out?” he says slightly raising his voice.
“Look. My relationship sats haven’t been so hot in the past so I tend to freak the fuck out when commitment raises its ugly head because for me it all goes downhill from there; and besides we haven’t even been together that long. We’ve been technically dating for all of what? Like thirty some hours?” I begin to rant before Zacky holds up his hand making me stop talking.
“Look, if it bothers you that much I won’t say it until you’re ready for me too. So far as the amount of time we’ve been official goes, Chris, I’ve liked you for a long ass time; how you’ve never notice I don’t really know,” he says looking slightly hurt.
“Zacky; I’m really flattered that you feel that strongly about me but I just have a really bad past with relationships once those three little works are uttered. I really like you and I don’t want this to get fucked up so soon,” I say biting my bottom lip.
“Well, we do have the fact that I’m the first guy you’ve dated in a while that isn’t a total douche going for us,” Zacky says with a slight laugh making me smile.
“True; You hungry?” I ask standing up.
“Starving,” he says standing up as well.
“Come on; I’ll make breakfast,” I say as he follows me into the house and heads to the living room while I stay in the kitchen and start making breakfast. If there is a god please let this end differently; maybe even happily for once in my life.
“What time is it?” Zacky asks loosening his grip on my waist.
“It’s almost ten,” I say rolling over and looking at my phone.
“Can we go back to sleep?” he asks pulling me back over to him.
“I guess; I have today off again,” I say snuggling up to him. “Night again,” I say making my pillow comfortable.
“Night; love you,” he says making my eyes snap open and my heart flutter.
“What?” I croak out.
“I said I love you,” he says snuggling into me before drifting off to sleep.
Once I’m sure he’s asleep again I crawl out of bed, careful not to wake him up, and grab my phone along with my cigs before quickly making my way downstairs and outside. I quickly light up and call Megan before babbling incoherently when she answers her phone.
“Would you like to try that again?” Megan asks once I finally start babbling; which just sends me into another babbling mess.
“Again in English not Spanglish,” Megan says with a slight sigh.
“Sorry,” I say taking a deep breath. “So Zacky stayed the night last night; right? Well, we woke up a few minutes ago and he wanted to go back to sleep so I said ‘night’ then he said ‘night; love you’… I can’t handle this,” I say sliding down the side of the railing on my patio so I’m sitting down beside the house.
“While I appreciate you calling me I don’t know what you want me to do about it; you have to talk to him,” Megan says sighing.
“I know; but I don’t want to,” I whine as I hear movement inside. “Shit!”
“Is he up?” Megan asks as Zacky comes outside with a confused look on his face.
“Yeah; gotta go. Love ya,” I say quickly hanging up. “Hi,” I say with a nervous laugh.
“Why are you out here? I thought we were going back to sleep,” Zacky says looking at me oddly as we both light up.
“I couldn’t sleep so I called Megan,” I say shrugging away from him when he goes to put his arm around me after sitting down beside me.
“What’s wrong?” Zacky asks looking at me funny.
“Wrong? Why would anything be wrong? I mean what makes you think that?” I begin to babble laughing nervously.
“That was so convincing,” Zacky says looking at me oddly.
“OK; so maybe you’re right. Maybe something is wrong,” I say looking at my feet as I put out my cig.
“That being?” he asks looking at me oddly.
“I… umm… what you said this morning,” I say mumbling in Spanish.
“OK; you need to speak English and speak up,” Zacky says looking at me oddly.
“Why can no one understand Spanish? If you people understood Spanish dealing with me when I’m upset would be so much easier,” I huff running my fingers through my hair.
“Dude, seriously what is up with you?” Zacky asks looking at me like I’ve grown another head.
“You said ‘I love you’,” I say looking at him in the same manner.
“That’s why you’re freaking the fuck out?” he says slightly raising his voice.
“Look. My relationship sats haven’t been so hot in the past so I tend to freak the fuck out when commitment raises its ugly head because for me it all goes downhill from there; and besides we haven’t even been together that long. We’ve been technically dating for all of what? Like thirty some hours?” I begin to rant before Zacky holds up his hand making me stop talking.
“Look, if it bothers you that much I won’t say it until you’re ready for me too. So far as the amount of time we’ve been official goes, Chris, I’ve liked you for a long ass time; how you’ve never notice I don’t really know,” he says looking slightly hurt.
“Zacky; I’m really flattered that you feel that strongly about me but I just have a really bad past with relationships once those three little works are uttered. I really like you and I don’t want this to get fucked up so soon,” I say biting my bottom lip.
“Well, we do have the fact that I’m the first guy you’ve dated in a while that isn’t a total douche going for us,” Zacky says with a slight laugh making me smile.
“True; You hungry?” I ask standing up.
“Starving,” he says standing up as well.
“Come on; I’ll make breakfast,” I say as he follows me into the house and heads to the living room while I stay in the kitchen and start making breakfast. If there is a god please let this end differently; maybe even happily for once in my life.