Status: Active
Others Have Excuses, but I Have My Reasons Why
Could Have Handled This Better
I slip out of bed and sigh to myself. Yesterday my old boss from back east called me to let me know she got me a job as head nurse in the ER of a hospital in Chicago if I want it. I’ve been mulling it over in my head and I’m pretty sure I want to take the job and today is the day I’m going to talk to Zacky about it.
I walk into the bathroom and draw up a bath hoping it’ll relax me a little bit before Zacky gets home from doing something band related with the boys. I pour in some bubble bath then stick my finger in the water and decide it’s the perfect temperate before throwing my hair up and slipping into the steamy water. Forty minutes and four chapters later in my book I pull myself out of the relaxing tub and pull the plug, watching the water begin to drain before drying off and slipping on a pair of leggings and long shirt.
I wonder down to the kitchen and fix a bowl of cereal that I mostly just play with before throwing away and heading outside to smoke. After my cigarette I wonder inside and end up on the couch rereading Invisible Monsters for about the millionth time.
“Hey babe,” Zacky says with a smile as he walks into the living room.
“Hey,” I say with a halfhearted smile.
“What’s up?” Zacky asks picking my feet up and sitting down on the couch.
“I umm… need to talk to you about something,” I say sitting up and putting my book down.
“OK… what do you need to talk to me about?” he asks as his face goes from worried to stone.
“I got a job offer to be the head nurse in an ER but there’s a catch,” I explain looking down at my hands playing with the chipping polish on my nails.
“The catch being?” Zacky asks with an odd tone in his voice.
“The catch is that the job is in… Chicago,” I say after sighing heavily.
“You’re not going to take it right?” Zacky asks making me bite my lip.
“I’m seriously debating it,” I say finally looking up.
“You just moved in though… like two months ago,” Zacky says looking at me like I’m crazy.
“Zacky; I love you I do. I also love living with you. However, I feel that it is blatantly obvious I’m not happy with my job here,” I say grabbing his hand only to have him pull it away.
“Obviously you’re going to do what you want to do; you always have,” he says before getting up and walking away.
“Please don’t walk away from me when I’m trying to discuss this with you,” I say, slightly raising my voice, as I follow him outside and we both light up.
“I’m sorry was there more to talk about?” he says in a snippy matter.
“Yes there is! Like the fact that you’re on tour or doing something band related how often? So no matter where I’m at ninety percent of the time our relationship is going to be long distance one. So what does it matter if I’m here miserable with my job or if I’m in Chicago and happy with what I’m doing with my life?” I ask, more like scream.
“I guess that’s true,” Zacky says looking down at his feet.
“I’m not doing this to fuck up our relationship. I’m doing this to make myself happy. I figured you’d still want to be with me. I didn’t know it mattered that I was here and not somewhere else,” I explain putting out my cig before making my way up to our room where I quickly dive onto the bed and cuddle into the blankets and my pillow.
“Chris?” Zacky asks walking into the room about twenty minutes later.
“Yeah?” I ask not wanting to move.
“You know that even if you take the job I’m still going to want to be with you right?” Zacky asks as he crawls into the bed with me.
“I know; I just wish we had handled that conversation a little bit better,” I say with a slight smile.
“Yeah me too,” he says grabbing my hand and lacing his fingers with me.
“So you promise not to hate me if I take this job?” I ask with a slight laugh.
“I promise not to hate you babe,” Zacky says looking almost hurt.
“I really think I am then. I mean I’m going to think about it more of course but I’m pretty sure I’ve already decided that I want to,” I explain not looking at him.
“Well, instead of sulking around why don’t we do something else?” he asks making me look at him.
“Sounds good to me; what do you have in mind?” I ask slightly biting my lip.
“I think we should go out to eat then go see the new x-men movie,” Zacky suggests kissing my forehead.
“Alright; let me grab my purse and slip on my shoes,” I say smiling as I get up out of bed and grab my things before following Zacky out to his car and off we go.
I walk into the bathroom and draw up a bath hoping it’ll relax me a little bit before Zacky gets home from doing something band related with the boys. I pour in some bubble bath then stick my finger in the water and decide it’s the perfect temperate before throwing my hair up and slipping into the steamy water. Forty minutes and four chapters later in my book I pull myself out of the relaxing tub and pull the plug, watching the water begin to drain before drying off and slipping on a pair of leggings and long shirt.
I wonder down to the kitchen and fix a bowl of cereal that I mostly just play with before throwing away and heading outside to smoke. After my cigarette I wonder inside and end up on the couch rereading Invisible Monsters for about the millionth time.
“Hey babe,” Zacky says with a smile as he walks into the living room.
“Hey,” I say with a halfhearted smile.
“What’s up?” Zacky asks picking my feet up and sitting down on the couch.
“I umm… need to talk to you about something,” I say sitting up and putting my book down.
“OK… what do you need to talk to me about?” he asks as his face goes from worried to stone.
“I got a job offer to be the head nurse in an ER but there’s a catch,” I explain looking down at my hands playing with the chipping polish on my nails.
“The catch being?” Zacky asks with an odd tone in his voice.
“The catch is that the job is in… Chicago,” I say after sighing heavily.
“You’re not going to take it right?” Zacky asks making me bite my lip.
“I’m seriously debating it,” I say finally looking up.
“You just moved in though… like two months ago,” Zacky says looking at me like I’m crazy.
“Zacky; I love you I do. I also love living with you. However, I feel that it is blatantly obvious I’m not happy with my job here,” I say grabbing his hand only to have him pull it away.
“Obviously you’re going to do what you want to do; you always have,” he says before getting up and walking away.
“Please don’t walk away from me when I’m trying to discuss this with you,” I say, slightly raising my voice, as I follow him outside and we both light up.
“I’m sorry was there more to talk about?” he says in a snippy matter.
“Yes there is! Like the fact that you’re on tour or doing something band related how often? So no matter where I’m at ninety percent of the time our relationship is going to be long distance one. So what does it matter if I’m here miserable with my job or if I’m in Chicago and happy with what I’m doing with my life?” I ask, more like scream.
“I guess that’s true,” Zacky says looking down at his feet.
“I’m not doing this to fuck up our relationship. I’m doing this to make myself happy. I figured you’d still want to be with me. I didn’t know it mattered that I was here and not somewhere else,” I explain putting out my cig before making my way up to our room where I quickly dive onto the bed and cuddle into the blankets and my pillow.
“Chris?” Zacky asks walking into the room about twenty minutes later.
“Yeah?” I ask not wanting to move.
“You know that even if you take the job I’m still going to want to be with you right?” Zacky asks as he crawls into the bed with me.
“I know; I just wish we had handled that conversation a little bit better,” I say with a slight smile.
“Yeah me too,” he says grabbing my hand and lacing his fingers with me.
“So you promise not to hate me if I take this job?” I ask with a slight laugh.
“I promise not to hate you babe,” Zacky says looking almost hurt.
“I really think I am then. I mean I’m going to think about it more of course but I’m pretty sure I’ve already decided that I want to,” I explain not looking at him.
“Well, instead of sulking around why don’t we do something else?” he asks making me look at him.
“Sounds good to me; what do you have in mind?” I ask slightly biting my lip.
“I think we should go out to eat then go see the new x-men movie,” Zacky suggests kissing my forehead.
“Alright; let me grab my purse and slip on my shoes,” I say smiling as I get up out of bed and grab my things before following Zacky out to his car and off we go.
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Outfit