Status: Active
Others Have Excuses, but I Have My Reasons Why
Colder Weather
So today is kind of a big day. Today I’ve been in Chicago for an entire three month. I have very mixed feelings about what’s going on in my life right now. I love that I’m finally starting to get a hold of my new job and actually know what I’m doing now and even have a friend up here! At the same time it sucks because I haven’t seen Zacky it was seems like ages. I sigh to myself and look outside to see the trees whipping back and forth in the wind and pull my hoodie closer to my body mentally cursing how cold this place is as my phone rings.
“Hello?” I ask not looking at the caller ID.
“Hey,” I hear Zacky says making me smile a little bit.
“Hey babe how’s it going?” I ask playing with the drawstring on my pants.
“OK, so far the tour’s been fun,” he says without any emotion in his voice.
“You sound so thrilled about it,” I say forcing out a slight laugh.
“Yeah; how’s Chicago?” he asks making me feel like he’s just forcing small talk.
“Good; cold as shit though,” I say biting my lip.
“That blows. Love you babe I have to go I just wanted to hear your voice,” he says making me smile.
“Aw! I love you too baby; bye,” I say as tears start threatening to fall.
I hit the end button on my phone and pull my legs up to my chest then wrap my arms around them. Lately the phone calls with Zacky have felt about as comfortable as pulling teeth. I have no clue if something’s really wrong or if I’m just blowing it all out of proportion but I don’t feel like we’re the same couple we were.
I sigh to myself before getting up off of the couch and heading to the kitchen where I pour myself a glass of merlot and end up swishing it around in the glass watching the beautiful burgundy color going around and around. After a few minutes of this I quickly down the contents of the glass before throwing a pair of jeans on and wrapping myself up in my winter jacket and wonder outside.
I light up and look around me neighborhood smiling at the kids playing in the street before I decide to walk around the city for a bit to get some fresh air and think things over on my own time without any outside influence.
About two hours later I find myself clear across town in front of a pizza shop and I decide what the hell I might as well be a bad vegan since I feel so horrible. I walk into the shop and smile at the teenager behind the counter before ordering two slices of cheese pizza with black olives and green peppers on them. After I pay I sit down at one of the booths waiting for my food and take my phone out and scroll through my contacts to see if there’s anyone in particular I want to talk to. After about ten minutes of not finding anyone I really want to talk to the boy behind the counter tells me my pizza is ready so I go up and get it before returning to my seat where I enjoy my two slices of heaven with a beer; making me smile the brightest I have all day.
After an amazing meal I wonder back home where I pour myself another glass of wine before turning on the TV and finding a Sex and the City marathon making me smile to myself. A few hours of Carey and the girls and a quite a few glasses of wine later I decide to climb into bed and call it a day. Before I turn my light off I text Zacky and tell him that I love him and goodnight then I lay my head on my pillow hoping it’s just this cold weather that’s getting the better of me.
“Hello?” I ask not looking at the caller ID.
“Hey,” I hear Zacky says making me smile a little bit.
“Hey babe how’s it going?” I ask playing with the drawstring on my pants.
“OK, so far the tour’s been fun,” he says without any emotion in his voice.
“You sound so thrilled about it,” I say forcing out a slight laugh.
“Yeah; how’s Chicago?” he asks making me feel like he’s just forcing small talk.
“Good; cold as shit though,” I say biting my lip.
“That blows. Love you babe I have to go I just wanted to hear your voice,” he says making me smile.
“Aw! I love you too baby; bye,” I say as tears start threatening to fall.
I hit the end button on my phone and pull my legs up to my chest then wrap my arms around them. Lately the phone calls with Zacky have felt about as comfortable as pulling teeth. I have no clue if something’s really wrong or if I’m just blowing it all out of proportion but I don’t feel like we’re the same couple we were.
I sigh to myself before getting up off of the couch and heading to the kitchen where I pour myself a glass of merlot and end up swishing it around in the glass watching the beautiful burgundy color going around and around. After a few minutes of this I quickly down the contents of the glass before throwing a pair of jeans on and wrapping myself up in my winter jacket and wonder outside.
I light up and look around me neighborhood smiling at the kids playing in the street before I decide to walk around the city for a bit to get some fresh air and think things over on my own time without any outside influence.
About two hours later I find myself clear across town in front of a pizza shop and I decide what the hell I might as well be a bad vegan since I feel so horrible. I walk into the shop and smile at the teenager behind the counter before ordering two slices of cheese pizza with black olives and green peppers on them. After I pay I sit down at one of the booths waiting for my food and take my phone out and scroll through my contacts to see if there’s anyone in particular I want to talk to. After about ten minutes of not finding anyone I really want to talk to the boy behind the counter tells me my pizza is ready so I go up and get it before returning to my seat where I enjoy my two slices of heaven with a beer; making me smile the brightest I have all day.
After an amazing meal I wonder back home where I pour myself another glass of wine before turning on the TV and finding a Sex and the City marathon making me smile to myself. A few hours of Carey and the girls and a quite a few glasses of wine later I decide to climb into bed and call it a day. Before I turn my light off I text Zacky and tell him that I love him and goodnight then I lay my head on my pillow hoping it’s just this cold weather that’s getting the better of me.