Carpe Diem

“You - You what?!" Hayden gasped.

“Don’t make me say it again,” I mumbled as I ran a hand through my hair,

“You slept with Charlie’s-”

“Don’t make it worse!” I snapped sadly as I placed my hands over my face, not bothering to stop the tears falling this time. Hayden pried my hands away from my face before taking my left hand in hers and pulling me out of the bus door, down the couple of steps and away from the door before dropping it and wrapping her arms around me in a tight, yet comforting, embrace. I sniffed as I buried my head in her neck as none of us said a word to each other for a good few minutes.

“I feel so guilty.” I mumbled as I gripped onto her tighter.

“I know you do, but Taylor, you know I’m going to ask you sooner or later - what are you going to do?”

“There’s not much I can do,” I sighed as we retracted our arms from around each other in unison, “I just want to forget the whole thing ever happened.”

“That’s easier said than done.” She sympathised.

I knew that was true, but it pained me to hear it.

“I-” I began, but immediately shut up as Hayden and I’s heads snapped over to the direction of the bus door as loud footsteps could be heard just before Adam came into view. I took in a deep breath and rolled my eyes in his direction.

“Can we talk?” He mumbled as he glanced between Hayden and I, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

“I’ll leave you to it,” Hayden said as she shot me a concerned look before making her way past Adam and up the couple of steps before disappearing from view onto the bus.

Adam made his way over to me before saying, “I think we should forget about what happened,” He shrugged effortlessly.

I scoffed, “Are you sure you’re going to be able to live with the guilt?”

He shrugged once more as I ran a hand through my hair, “Wait, how do you remember what happened?!” I exclaimed as I eyed him suspiciously.

“Taylor, at the back of your mind you knew what had happened before you even woke up this morning, you just don’t remember it.”

Ignoring his previous answer completely I spoke again, “We can’t just forget about this-” I began but he cut me off by grabbing my arm and pulling me further away from the bus.

“I’m a pretty convincing liar I’ll have you know-”

“Yeah, that I can believe alright,” I scoffed once more as I shot him a glare, “This isn’t something you can just forget about with the click of your fingers, Adam! Lying or not.”

“And what are we trying to forget about, exactly?” He said as I rolled my eyes at his idiotic behaviour.

“This is no time to be a smartass you complete prick,” I spat, “So you’re telling me that when Charlie comes along you’re going to be able to lie through your teeth and convince yourself this never happened?”

He shrugged once more, “Pretty much.”

I grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him down roughly so he was eye-level with me.

“We slept together, Adam!” I seethed as I narrowed my eyes at him, “Stop trying to play this off as if it’s nothing!”

He looked at me intently before tilting his head slightly to the side, a habit of his which annoyed me highly, before closing the gap between us and pressing his lips against mine. I began to, regrettably, kiss him back until I realised what I was doing and immediately pushed him away from me.

“What the fuck are you playing at?!” I screeched as I took a step back to avoid it happening again.

“Beats me,” He said simply.

“Stop fucking with my head!” I huffed as I began pacing back and forth, “You’re making things ten times worse for us!”

“Taylor, I know you better than you know yourself.”

I laughed sarcastically, “Oh really?”

“Really, I felt you kiss me back, therefore I know how you feel better than you even do.”

“You’re just full of it, aren’t you?” I seethed, “Where do you get off playing games?!”

“I’m not playing games, I’m simply stating the facts.”

I ran a hand through my hair angrily, “You need to sort out your priorities, you have a girlfriend, and I have a..well…I have Nick!”

He raised an eyebrow, “You don’t actually-”

“Yes!” I screeched, “Yes I do like him actually, so stop being an inconsiderate moron by ruining your own relationship and mine!”

“I know you still feel something for me.” He stated.

“Adam, when are you going to grasp the concept that seems so impossible for your difficult self to understand? There’s nothing between us, last night was a mistake, okay?!”

“Are you sure about that?” He smirked slightly as he took a step towards me.

“More than you know.” I huffed as I crossed my arms across my chest.

“Prove it,” He taunted.

I rolled my eyes before taking a step towards him to close the gap between us before standing on my tip-toes and placing my hands on either side of his face before crashing my lips against his for a brief moment, ignoring any possible feelings before pulling away and stepping back once more.

“See? Nothing but a mistake,“ I inhaled deeply before saying, “I think it’s best if we just avoid each other from here on out,”

He raised an eyebrow, “You’re kidding? Don’t you think that’ll look more suspicious?”

“Why would it? We’re not exactly great friends, Adam. It’d be nothing out of the ordinary,”

“Lets face it, the only reason you want to forget about what happened is because you enjoyed it,” He smirked.

I gritted my teeth and reached my hand up to slap him across the face, but he grabbed my wrist at the last minute.

“You’re so god damn self-righteous!”

“Empty words,” He said in a bored tone, infuriating me even more.

“I’m done,” I seethed once more as I pushed past him roughly and walked a few paces before turning around and exclaiming, “Fuck this, and fuck you.” before spinning on my heel.

“Taylor!” He called from behind me.

“What?!” I spat as I spun back around to face him.

“You’ll come back to me.” He shrugged.

“Yeah, in your dreams.” I scoffed as I turned around and began walking away once more, with no interruption the second time around.

I felt the guilt slowly begin to eat away at me yet again. I was going to do everything in my power to forget about what happened, and if that meant lying through my teeth and ignoring Adam for the rest of the tour, so be it.