Carpe Diem

For the rest of the day I “grinned and bared it” as they say. Please take what I say very literally, as I really did have a grin plastered on my face throughout the day as I tried to stay clear of Adam and the way he occasionally made me feel once more, I’m pretty sure everyone thought I’d taken some sort of drug because of the way I was acting, which I’m sure lead them to being more suspicious, but I didn’t stop to think about that. I made my way through the Kids From The Summer set with the usual adrenaline rush and guilt free half an hour as my mind was focused on everything but Adam, but unfortunately for me it did come to an end. Believe me when I say that the whole day was very uneventful except for one thing, one thing that makes me grin every time I think about it, and you better believe I’m grinning now.

Everyone, excluding the three of us consisting of Lidia, Kade and I, had made their way into downtown Albany to go to a local pizzeria, and considering I’d already eaten and Lidia had once again declined to do something, I found it was a perfect opportunity to confront her.

“Okay, I’ve had enough of you not spending any time off of this bus, Lid. What’s wrong?” I questioned, crossing my legs genie style in Matt’s bunk that Lidia and I were currently situated in.

“Nothing’s wrong.” She lied from opposite me.

I raised an eyebrow, “Don’t give me that crap, I know something’s wrong, so spill it before I pound it out of you.” I warned jokingly.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair before taking a deep breath.

“I’m pregnant.”

My mouth fell open as I processed her words.

“You’re..what?!”

“Taylor, don’t make me confess again.” She chuckled.

“Sorry, I just can’t believe..I-wow! congratulations!” I squealed as I hugged her tightly.

“Besides from Matt, you’re the only one who knows, so just keep it on the down low for now.” She said as I nodded in acceptance.

“Wait..why didn’t either of you tell me?! especially Matt!” I huffed, “He’s not going to get away with this, I swear I’ll cut-”

She placed her hands on my shoulders as she gave me a look of amusement.

“Would you chill out? we wanted to tell you, both of us did, we were just trying to find the right time.”

I huffed once more before hugging her once again, “How far long are you?”

“Just over two months, but the sickness is crazy, hence why I always decline the tour parties, plus I usually feel under the weather.” She shrugged.

“That’s understandable, I’m so happy for you!” I grinned.

I can’t even begin to sum up the emotions I felt as I embraced Lidia once more. If there were two people in this world who I knew would make great parents it would be Lidia and Matt.

“It’s not been all sunshine though,” She confessed as she played with her fingers, “Matt and I have been arguing about the fact that a touring life is no place for a baby.”

“So he’s quitting the band?” I questioned.

She shook her head before sighing, “Of course not, I’d never expect that of him, but it’s going to be difficult with me by myself in New York and him occasionally away from home.”

I nodded in understanding, “Well, you know you can always stay with Hayden and I when Matt’s away, our house is way too big for us anyway.”

“Seriously?”

I chuckled, “Of course you idiot, we’re practically family,”

She grinned before taking my hands in hers, “This is why I love you.”

“Who doesn’t love me?” I joked as she nudged my shoulder playfully.

It felt like everything was coming together as great things just kept on happening, but even I knew it was only a matter of time before everything was turned upside down once more.

[&]

I was currently sat in front of the Hit The Lights bus with Kade sat between my legs happily, just taking in perfect weather we’d been blessed with on our first day off on the tour so far, I couldn’t help but smile before running a hand through my hair, soaking up each precious moment at hand before we set off for the park at Kade’s impatient and continuous request.

“Can we go now?” He whined as he pulled up tufts of grass in his tiny fists.

“Already?” I mumbled jokingly.

“Mommy!” He whined, dropping the grass and he tugged at the bottom of my tank.

“Okay, okay lets go.” I chuckled as I stood up, picking him up in my arms before bending down slightly and freeing one of my arms to pick up my acoustic guitar.

I’d say I’d only managed to walk about ten steps before Kade, who had his head over my left shoulder began to slap my back to get my attention.

“Mommy, wait! Adam’s coming!”

I stopped dead, “What?” I questioned, praying by some slim chance that he’d gotten himself confused.

I spun around, sighing in disappointment when I realised Kade really hadn’t gotten it wrong as Adam came to a halt in front of us.

“What do you want, Adam?” I questioned carelessly.

“Where are you going?” He asked, ignoring my previous question completely.

“What’s it to you? You’ve got the day of too, go and spend it with Charlie.” I said before spinning on my heel in attempt to keep walking to my destination, only making a couple of steps before Adam ran around and stopped me.

“As you know we had a fight, and everyone else is doing their own thing..so..” He trailed off, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly.

I raised an eyebrow, “You and I don’t get along, Adam. In fact, it’s more than that, so why you’re even here right now is beyond me.”

He sighed before raising his arms in the air, “You know what? I don’t even see the point in trying,” He said before moving out of the way to let me pass before walking back in the same direction he came in.

“Mommy! don’t let him go!” Kade protested as he began pulling my tank once more, “I like him!”

I groaned as I glanced at Kade quickly, and then to Adam’s retreating figure.

“I really need to stop you getting your own way." I huffed as I cleared my throat.

“You’re going in the wrong direction, dumbass,” I called out as Adam came to a stop before turning around to face Kade and I, “If you’re coming with us, you might want to come this way.”

I spun around once more as I began to walk a little slower, allowing Adam to fall into stride next to me when he caught up.

“What made you change your mind?” He asked genuinely.

“Me!” Kade piped up as he made himself comfy against my chest.

“It seems you’ve had an effect on my kid,” I mumbled, “He likes you.”

Adam laughed as he smiled at Kade, who returned it almost immediately.

“At least one of you does.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Don’t-” I was immediately cut off by Adam placing his hand against my mouth, preventing me from uttering another word as I narrowed my eyes at him.

“I’m tired of us arguing, it’s really getting old, so can we just put this behind us? for now, at least?” He said, motioning his head in Kade’s direction before removing his hand.

“If you don’t ever do that again,” I glared before continuing, “I guess so.”

He shot me a genuine smile as he slung his arm over my shoulder.

“Don’t push it.” I laughed, stepping away.

“It was worth a try, right?” He chuckled as I rolled my eyes before smiling in response.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

[&]

“So this, “ Adam motioned as he took Kade’s left hand in his before placing three fingers on the fretboard needed to create a G chord on the guitar, “is a G.”

Adam removed his hand as Kade scrunched up his face in concentration before removing his fingers and placing them back on exactly the right strings in the right places.

Kade glanced at Adam, “Like this?”

“You got it, kid.” Adam grinned, sticking his hand up for a high-five as Kade’s small hand hit against it.

I couldn’t help but smile at the sight before me as my eyes flickered between Adam and Kade. Believe me when I say I didn’t ever think Adam was capable of being nice, but surprisingly he made me eat my words for once. It felt nice not being in a verbal fist-fight and actually holding decent conversations about anything and everything, so I guess it’s safe to say that I was truly enjoying the company of Adam Lazzara.

“So,” Adam said, turning to face me.

“So?” I questioned.

“What do you see in Nick?”

I rolled my eyes, “We’re seriously going to go there?”

“It was just a question,” He sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, “Are you planning on answering it?”

I rolled my eyes once more before shrugging, “I don’t know, I mean he’s a genuinely nice guy, plus he has the ability to make me smile, so that‘s got to be worth some bonus points.”

Adam nodded before speaking once more, “So you’re actually going to attempt to date him?”

I raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean by attempt? And yes, why wouldn’t I? like I said he’s a nice guy, and it’s not like I have a whole line of guys wanting to date me is there?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know, I just thought that-”

“That what? I’d be waiting around for you after all these years?” I said, looking at him intently.

“I don’t know, Taylor. I thought that us sleeping together may have put a road block in your plans.”

“So you’re telling me you’re going to break up with Charlie because of it?”

“I don’t know. Yeah, maybe.”

“You’re serious?” I asked in disbelief.

He shrugged in response as an awkward silence fell between us for a while, both of us wrapped up in our own stressful and slightly confusing thoughts as we watched Kade attempt to play the few chords he had been taught. As Adam was in the middle of teaching Kade yet another chord during the few hours we’d been in the park, my cell began to vibrate in my pocket. I slid it out quickly as my eyes flickered over Hayden’s name on the screen, my finger automatically pressing the “accept” option as I placed my phone against my ear. Before I could even get one word in though, her voice came speeding through the other end, her words tripping over one another.

“Taylor, you have to get back here, now.” She exclaimed.

“What? Why?” I questioned, looking at Adam who gave me a curious glance.

“There’s a new band joining the tour in order to get an even bigger crowd for the shows over the upcoming three weeks, you-” She cut herself off as a mixture of voices could suddenly be heard on the other end.

“Hayden?” I said, trying to make out the other voices.

“Tay, I have to go - but hurry back, bye.” She quickly said before hanging up.

I slid my sidekick shut before standing up, picking up my guitar as Adam picked up Kade who automatically wrapped his arms around his neck.

“What’s going on?” Adam questioned as we made our way out of the park and back on our previous route.

“Some band have joined on the tour in order to get an even bigger crowd and spread the word about the tour further, that’s all I know.” I shrugged, glancing at Kade who was now asleep in Adam’s arms.

Adam nodded as silence fell between us once more. I had no idea what the big deal was and why it couldn’t wait until later as I truly was enjoying the only day off I’d had so far on tour, even with Adam being a part of it besides from the slightly awkward conversation at a certain point. The fact that Hayden sounded so desperate for me to return worried me slightly, but I didn’t want to work myself up over something that could end up being nothing, so I kept calm.

When we reached the site around ten minutes later, my eyes automatically glanced at the unfamiliar tour bus parked next to A Rocket To The Moon’s which we, well I had to walk through the gap between the two in order to get to Hit The Light’s bus which was parked behind them both. Adam and I came to a halt side by side. I turned to face him just as he outstretched his arms in order to hand Kade back to me as I leaned my guitar against my leg for a moment, taking Kade into my arms whilst Adam picked up my guitar.

“Do you mind if I borrow your acoustic? Just until I get the chance to put new strings on mine?” He asked rather awkwardly, clearly afraid of what my answer might be.

I nodded as he shot me a genuine smile of gratitude, “I’ll see you later,” he announced, giving me a one armed hug before making his way to Taking Back Sunday’s bus which was parked on the other side of A Rocket To The Moon’s. An involuntary shiver shot down my spine as I walked a few short paces through the gap before the door of the unfamiliar bus flew open, hitting me on the left side of my body.

“Fuck!” I swore loudly, groaning in pain before glancing at Kade who only stirred slightly. My eyes travelled down to where the door had made contact with my skin. I placed my hand over my side, wincing slightly as I did so.

“I am so sorry!” A male voice exclaimed before going off on a ramble of apology.

I glanced up at the boy who was now stood in front of me, his rambling ceasing immediately as his eyes locked onto mine.

“Taylor?” He uttered in disbelief.

I felt a lump rise in my throat as I continued to stare at the rather short, brown-haired, blue-eyed boy right before my eyes before being able to compose myself long enough to stutter out one thing.

“G-Garrett?”